Be patient with my doubt.
I think I'm finally coming into the relization of how much of a struggle I really am in. These past few weeks it's been getting more and more clear. I can feel it inside. I've been tryin to fight it for too long. I just need to give in. It's best for me and I know it. I need it back in my life. I feel empty with out it. I've been trying to fill it with other things. I knew it would'nt work, but it felt good for the time being. It's gone on too long. I give in.
The begining has nothing to do with what I'm going to write about now. Just thought I'd let you know.
So I saw David last night. I really wish I had the strength to tell him to leave me a lone. It's just that I feel so bad because he has no friends. I mean, there's a reason for that, but no one deserves not to have any. So basically, me seeing him again is based on pity. Maybe sometime soon I'll be able to let him go. He's just so emotionally draining. I guess I'll just go with the flow untill I fall down the waterfall. My parents don't like him. he knows it too. He's trying to make amends with them. I don't see why he's bothering. I'm not going to be spending everyday with him like I used to. I'v wisened up. When I'm with him. I'm way more mature then I need to be. I can't help it though because he's such an idiot. It's like I need to be the adult. Crazy. And, it's hard for me to talk to him because I'm always a fraid I'll say something and he'll take it personal or I'll hafta explain it because he won't get it. *sigh* I had the easiest time talking to Nick though. I mean, we'd both just bring up random things but it would feel like they totally fit into the conversation. I founf out he used to be a stoner all through his high school years. It was cool because I was able to say hey, I was through half. I did'nt feel like I needed to explain myself or like I was being judged. I need to see him again. I've only talked to him a few times, but yea, I find him so intrieging. I hate how I think about him though. You know like when you think about someone and you wonder if they're thinking about you and since you have no way of knowing you're like well probably not so why am I wasting my time on it. But you like can't help it and so you just hope they are. Lol. Yea. I guess you can say I like him. He's inspiring me.
The begining has nothing to do with what I'm going to write about now. Just thought I'd let you know.
So I saw David last night. I really wish I had the strength to tell him to leave me a lone. It's just that I feel so bad because he has no friends. I mean, there's a reason for that, but no one deserves not to have any. So basically, me seeing him again is based on pity. Maybe sometime soon I'll be able to let him go. He's just so emotionally draining. I guess I'll just go with the flow untill I fall down the waterfall. My parents don't like him. he knows it too. He's trying to make amends with them. I don't see why he's bothering. I'm not going to be spending everyday with him like I used to. I'v wisened up. When I'm with him. I'm way more mature then I need to be. I can't help it though because he's such an idiot. It's like I need to be the adult. Crazy. And, it's hard for me to talk to him because I'm always a fraid I'll say something and he'll take it personal or I'll hafta explain it because he won't get it. *sigh* I had the easiest time talking to Nick though. I mean, we'd both just bring up random things but it would feel like they totally fit into the conversation. I founf out he used to be a stoner all through his high school years. It was cool because I was able to say hey, I was through half. I did'nt feel like I needed to explain myself or like I was being judged. I need to see him again. I've only talked to him a few times, but yea, I find him so intrieging. I hate how I think about him though. You know like when you think about someone and you wonder if they're thinking about you and since you have no way of knowing you're like well probably not so why am I wasting my time on it. But you like can't help it and so you just hope they are. Lol. Yea. I guess you can say I like him. He's inspiring me.