So. Much. Better.
Some power in the universe is taking care of me today.
I've spent the last few days being completely exhausted from intensive study for the written exam I have Monday, so much so that I couldn't stand to look at any book from Friday afternoon until last night about 8:30, and that was a graphic novel (Cathedral Child by Lea Hernandez, and much recommended).
I was still in a negative funk this morning, out of which I have been gradually lifted by various people over the course of the day. It started with my husband this morning, who will support me no matter what, to a friend, to a professor in another department, to a fellow grad student who called me just now. After the shorter coffee shop chats of the morning, I talked with her for 30 minutes, mostly about how I didn't feel as worried anymore.
I have a plan, and I'm putting it into action. This is the qualifying exam for the real M.A. exam, which translated into my head as: this is just to make sure you're ready to take the real test. All this is, is an assessment. Not a judgment, which is how my mind understands things when I'm in panic mode (and probably induces the panic mode, come to think of it).
I'm going to be just fine. I'm going to do the best I can, and not worry about what might appear on the exam. There's no way I can know until I get it. All I can do is be smart about what I study, and let the rest be how it will be.
If nothing else, a relaxed attitude will help hinder terrified blank-outs when I'm writing a week from today.
I've spent the last few days being completely exhausted from intensive study for the written exam I have Monday, so much so that I couldn't stand to look at any book from Friday afternoon until last night about 8:30, and that was a graphic novel (Cathedral Child by Lea Hernandez, and much recommended).
I was still in a negative funk this morning, out of which I have been gradually lifted by various people over the course of the day. It started with my husband this morning, who will support me no matter what, to a friend, to a professor in another department, to a fellow grad student who called me just now. After the shorter coffee shop chats of the morning, I talked with her for 30 minutes, mostly about how I didn't feel as worried anymore.
I have a plan, and I'm putting it into action. This is the qualifying exam for the real M.A. exam, which translated into my head as: this is just to make sure you're ready to take the real test. All this is, is an assessment. Not a judgment, which is how my mind understands things when I'm in panic mode (and probably induces the panic mode, come to think of it).
I'm going to be just fine. I'm going to do the best I can, and not worry about what might appear on the exam. There's no way I can know until I get it. All I can do is be smart about what I study, and let the rest be how it will be.
If nothing else, a relaxed attitude will help hinder terrified blank-outs when I'm writing a week from today.