Blegh...
I'm having a rough time of late. All would seem to be quite well, but not everything is right. Not even half off it... Everything working up to california and music school seems to be falling right into place. I just got a killer security job. Full benefits... in a cush office building. My dad and I have never been closer. Something I've wanted all my life. I've been playing guitar a lot more lately and have been getting a whole lot better. I'm leaving the schlong... I'm going to see Vai and Coachella in cali in May. You'd think I was ecstatic.
But it would seem that the one person I want to share things with the most just kinda wants to be with me. Maybe not even wants to be with me. But stays with me cause she thinks I'm what's best for her. That may be. But neither of us will be happy as long as that's the case. I can't keep hanging out, just hoping that I'll one day be enough for her. Watching her want someone else more than me. Wanting her to be satisfied with me. And the longer I stay with her the more I realize that may never be the case. And probably won't be. I just want to be what she wants... Not what she needs or thinks is best. I just want to be enough. I don't think that's too much to ask.
But I don't think I ever will be enough...
But it would seem that the one person I want to share things with the most just kinda wants to be with me. Maybe not even wants to be with me. But stays with me cause she thinks I'm what's best for her. That may be. But neither of us will be happy as long as that's the case. I can't keep hanging out, just hoping that I'll one day be enough for her. Watching her want someone else more than me. Wanting her to be satisfied with me. And the longer I stay with her the more I realize that may never be the case. And probably won't be. I just want to be what she wants... Not what she needs or thinks is best. I just want to be enough. I don't think that's too much to ask.
But I don't think I ever will be enough...