We got to the party and Cody rushed to my side to help me out of the car. Wearing heels this tall and getting out of a low car was a mission in itself. I nonchalantly looked around the parking lot to see if Mariah's piss colored Jeep was here yet, but I didn't see it. Unless she had hitched a ride with a friend. We walked into the house and the loud music blared throughout, taking me a few seconds to adjust. But once I did, I started looking around or the whore. I heard Cody's voice and I turned to look at him, "Hmm? Oh yeah, lets have a drink first," I told him. "I'll go with you to get it," I suggested. Like hell I would let him go alone so that she can prance on him. He knew his way around Glenn's house better than I did so he led the way to the drink table, stopping a few times to say hi to some random people he knew, none of that I knew or that I recognized. We each prepared our own drinks on opposite sides of the table and once I mine was tasting to the tee of how I like it, I walked back over to Cody who had his drink in his hand and was in his own world staring towards the makeshift dance floor. It was times like this that I wondered if he was truly happy with me. He's probably not even thinking or paying attention to the dance floor, but I couldn't help but wonder if sometimes he wishes he was single so he could be enjoying his youth and be partying like a lot of his friends do.
I wrapped my free arm around the back of his waist and leaned into him as I stared at the dance floor too, except I was looking to see if Mariah had gotten here yet, as I took sips from my cup. Cody leaned in to tell me over the music that he finished his drink that he was going to get another one, and I nodded, letting him know I'd do the same. We got our second rounds of drinks and when I went to walk back over to Cody, I saw he was talking to Kyle. I didn't mind any of his friends (except for the obvious one) but Kyle was by far my favorite friend of his. He was the nicest one to me, the one that seemed like the best friend to him and most importantly, one of the only ones that respected the fact that he had a girlfriend. "Hi Kyle!" I waved at him and gave him a genuine smile as I walked up to them. I interlinked the fingers on my free hand with Cody's as I waited for them to finish catching up. And once there was a break in their conversation, I leaned in to speak to Cody over the music. "Wanna go dance for a little bit?" Cody agreed and I took a sip from my drink as he dismissed us from Kyle. He grabbed onto my hips from behind and let me lead the way to the dance floor.
I looked out at the dance floor as I quickly drank the alcohol I had. It was kind of cool how Glenn's parties were always so much fun. He always had the greatest shuffle on, he even set up a freaking dance floor. Kid was crazy about these things. I wished I could throw a party at my house but I had a feeling that wouldn't be such a great idea. Which sucked because I had a really awesome place for parties. There was a pool table and a ping pong table and a freaking pool. I downed the rest of my drink as Demi arm wrapped around my waist. I looked down and saw her eyes on the dance floor, but they were moving around like she was searching for something. Someone. Oh dear God, I needed another drink. I leaned in to tell her I was going to go refill my drink and she nodded, deciding to do the same. Good, she needed to loosen up and not worry about whether or not one of my friends would be here or not. I filled up my glass with a large portion rum and a smaller portion of coke. Not very delicious but it would do exactly what I needed it to do. I felt a hand smack my shoulder and I looked over to see Kyle, my best friend. "Hey man! What's up?" I asked as I turned towards him. I made a small jab about how I beat the shit out of him at basketball just before Demi walked over to us. I smiled when she seemed genuinely happy to see Kyle. At least she really liked him.
Kyle started telling me about something he'd been taught in school and I was back to being envious that my friends got to experience college. I hated school but sometimes I wondered if I was missing out on it. We agreed to making another movie sometime soon so that he could test it out before Demi leaned in and asked if I wanted to dance. "Definitely. See you later tonight, Kyle!" I told Kyle before walking behind Demi, my hands on her waist out towards the dance floor. I grabbed her and spun her around to face me once we reached the floor, grinning down at her. "My dancing has improved since Broadway. Well, a little bit." I pulled her by the hips so that she was closer to me but not so much that we were grinding or any of that. I could not handle that with the dress she was wearing right now. I'd have her in Glenn's spare room in under 5 minutes. We continued to dance normally for a while longer before I continued talking. "And I also know that you're practically a professional dancer now so you can show my dance skills up," I joked with her. But let's face it, she wasn't anywhere near as awful at dancing as she claimed. "Wait, wait, wait, what's that one thing you do?" I took a step back from her and tried to do the thing where rolled her shoulders and hips at the same time. After failing miserably, I started cracking up and pulled Demi back into my arms. "Well, clearly I can't do it. How about you show me how to do it? Or do I need to get a few more drinks in your first?"
Cody led us to the dance floor and joked that his dancing had improved ever since Broadway rehearsals started. But he's been a good dancer long before that, after all, he did almost win Dancing with the Stars. We danced to the beat of every song that played, and I tried my hardest not to get too close to him or resort to grinding like my instincts went to every time we were dancing. Cody took a step back and imitated a dance move that I did in my dance video and holy shit did he look hilarious doing that. I put a hand over my mouth and started giggling at him, not cause it was bad, but just because it was funny seeing him move his hips like that. "No, no," I told him as he pulled me back into his arms. "You did great. I'm just not used to seeing you dance like that." I chugged the rest of my drink and tossed the cup aside, getting ready to show him what's next. I took two steps back so that I wouldn't mistakenly hit him before doing the same move he had just done, popping my chest forward and rolling my hips. Except I didn't stop there, I continued to the next part of the dance, leaning forward and popping my butt out to shake it before slightly bending my knees to lower myself and rotating my hips while popping my chest and arms to the music. I was going to continue another piece of the dance, since I know Cody enjoys watching me dance, but I looked to the side and saw a few people staring at me. I figured everyone would be in their own world, not paying Cody and I any attention. Well, that was embarrassing. I stood up straight and went into Cody's arms, pressing my face against his chest in embarrassment. Cody rubbed at my back and told me that I did good and that got me to pull away from his chest, but no way in hell was I looking back towards those people. I wasn't even in the mood to dance anymore.
"What do you say we get another drink?" I suggested. "Maybe a shot this time," I needed to get drunk ASAP and shots got the job done. Cody pulled us away from the dance floor and back to the very familiar liquor table. I got two shot glasses and poured vodka in them, filling them to the rim before handing one to Cody. I counted down out loud from three to one before chugging down the strong taste of vodka. But when I put my glass down, Cody had beat me. "No fair! Lets do another one, I started late," I used as an excuse. I did the same routine, pouring us two vodka filled, shot glasses and handed one to Cody. "Okay on your mark, get set..." And before I finished, I put the glass to my lips and chugged it down. "Hahaha I beat you!" I celebrated out loud. "But you were a good sport!" I told him, leaning into him and puckering my lips so that he could kiss me. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and I tasted the vodka on his lips as I tried my best to suck out all the taste but it was permanently stuck there! It wasn't coming off! Did that mean his lips would always taste like vodka? Would I get drunk every time we kiss from here on out? Oh no! Or maybe I'm just starting to get drunk now and thinking up nonsense! "Lets go back out to the dance floor," I suggested. Now that the liquor was hitting me, I had a feeling our dancing was going to get a bit PG-13.
Demi showed me up by doing the dance 20 times better than I did, but it gathered a bit of an audience. To be honest, I couldn't blame them, it was sexy as fuck. Her in that little dress gyrating her hips like that? She became aware of her audience and the blood rushed to her cheeks as she walked back over to me. I chuckled softly and leaned over to kiss the top of her head while rubbing at her back. I knew that she had a kind of really low self esteem and even though she makes a living performing, she wasn't a dancer. That must've killed her to desire to dance because she asked if I wanted another drink. I nodded and pulled her away from the people who had been watching her dance, keeping an eye on them to make sure they were behaving. I was extremely protective of Demi and if I saw anyone talking shit about her, I'd take them down in a heartbeat. Demi filled up two shot glasses and handed me one. She started the countdown and the second she said three, I tossed the shot back, setting the glass down on the table. But apparently that wasn't a fair competition so now we had to redo it. Except this time, my girlfriend decided to be a little cheater!
"You cheater!" I exclaimed loudly but she calmed my outburst with a equally intoxicating kiss. She pulled away, suggesting we go back out and dance. I held up my finger and made her take one more shot. Demi led us back out to the dance floor, pulling me into the middle of a big crowd. We started off dancing with a little bit of space between us, with my hands on her waist. However, Demi moved closer to me so that her body pressed to mine. I knew things were about to get much more heated. I wrapped one of my arms further around her waist as her hips grinded against mine. So much for waiting a while before we start this but to be honest, I didn't want it to go away now that it was happening. Her arms wrapped around my neck and I moved my hand that had been on the small of her back to her ass, pushing her hips against mine even more. We made it through an entire song without leaving to the nearest bedroom, closet, or bathroom which I think might be a record for us. That record wasn't outlasted long before I leaned over and pressed my lips to hers. Her hips were still rocking against mine making me want more and more even though I tried to push her closer to me but there was no more space between us. I pulled away from her lips, taking a deep breath as I grabbed her hand, "Come on." I led her out of the crowd, on the way to a room of some sort but they were all too far from here. "Oh fuck it," I cursed as I pinned her up against the wall and went back to attacking her lips and rocking my hips against hers. My girlfriend was like a drug to me that I could never get enough of.
Like expected, our dancing quickly turned to grinding and our grinding quickly turned to us making out. Cody kept his hands on my ass, which was good cause he blocked me from flashing people, as we grinded our hips against each other. I don't care how slutty this looked, it's not like I was doing it with some random dude. I was just having fun with my boyfriend of over a year. Nothing slutty about that. But I guess Cody couldn't take the kissing and teasing any longer. He grabbed my hand and starting leading me to what I assumed was a bedroom or somewhere private. But he stopped at a random corner and pushed me against the wall, continuing what we had going on at the dance floor. He leaned down and took my lips between his, kissing me roughly as he grabbed one of my legs and slightly lifted it to pin it against the wall. His hand started rubbing at my inner thigh and just when I thought he'd move towards my underwear, he moved it back towards my knee. That tease! I'd show him how to really be a tease. I moved a hand towards his crotch and squeezed at his package through his jeans, pulling out a moan from his mouth against my lips. I heard a loud, annoying voice call out Cody's name but before I was able to process who it was or put two and two together, Cody pulled his lips away from me and let me go. I put down my leg from the wall and quickly straightened out my dress before looking up to see what the fuck happened.
And of course, Mariah was behind this. I saw her pulling at Cody's arm til he was completely off of me before she nearly jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him into a hug A.K.A. to rub her tits all over him. I took two huge steps forward and waited for him to put her back down and when I saw that she kept talking to him and being all flirty with him, as if Cody hadn't just been about to fuck his girlfriends seconds ago before she rudely interrupted. Like, who the fuck even does that?! I took another step forward to step between them and I just couldn't bite my tongue. "What the fuck is your problem, Mariah?!" I shouted at her, seriously pissed the fuck off right now. I thought she'd get the hint and say her goodbyes to Cody, but instead, she tested my patience. She was asking for it! 'You and your face,' she told me with a nasty, bitchy faced smirk. I wanted to punch her in the face so fucking badly right now, but I know that wouldn't go well with Cody. I took a deep breath and I was about ready to take a step back when she let out a victorious, snarky laugh, pretty much laughing at the fact that not only did she succesfully cock block us, but that I didn't do anything about it. Except she was wrong, because I was going to do something about it.
I took a step forward and put my two hands between her chest and her shoulders, pushing her back with all my strength. I thought that would get the point across that she wasn't wanted and that it was time to leave, but she seemed to have mistaken it for me wanted to start a fight. She came charging at me like a fucking psychotic wildebeest with this crazy look in her eyes and clocked my right in the cheek with a closed fist. My hand went directly to my cheek to see if there was blood cause holy shit, did that hurt. I've never been in a fist fight so I had no idea how it felt to actually be hit. "You stupid, fucking whore!" I pushed at her shoulder to throw her off balance a little and winded my arm back before making it meet with her nose. She got a tight grip on my hair with her nasty, little fingers and pulled me towards her, pretty much making me an easy target. She kept pulling on my hair while taking shots at my face and I felt my eye burning from the repeated hits it was getting, but I wasn't giving up the fight this easy. I dug my nails into the skin on her hand that was in my hair and yanked it down, making her release her grip and giving me the opportunity to get a punch in, hitting her in the mouth. I heard Cody yelling at us, but honestly, I was in another zone right now, I had no idea what the fuck he was saying. I felt his hands on my waist trying to drag me away from the fight, but she had gotten one too many punches on me when she had me by the hair. I felt him let go of my waist and I figured he'd just given up on trying to pull us apart and he was just letting us fight. I pulled my right fist back and aimed it straight for her eye to get her back for fucking up my eye and I immediately winded back my left fist to hit her in the mouth but Cody got between us and instead my fist went straight into his jaw. Fuck. I knew that was the straw that broke the camels back. She could hit me all she wanted but I was done fighting. "Are you okay?!" I gasped, scared that I had hurt Cody.
She was just starting to get good, we were teasing the life out of each other and soon we'd be moving to a more private room and removing all of our clothes. However, things never got that far. I felt a pair of small hands pulling at my arms so I pulled my lips from Demi's to see what was with the interruption. Mariah. I groaned and rolled my eyes exaggeratedly as she pulled me completely away from Demi. Mariah wrapped her arms around my neck for a hug and I returned the hug, "You're such a little pain the ass, Mariah." She laughed as I set her back down, telling me to be nice to her. I really wanted to quit the small talk and promise her a better conversation later but just as I was about to dismiss myself, Demi's angry voice broke through, yelling at Mariah. My eyes widened in shock and I turned towards Demi, opening my mouth to try and calm her down but then Mariah spoke up. I shot Mariah an angry look and I turned back towards Demi, hoping to go back to my previous, calming Demi down idea. But I was just one step behind tonight. Demi pushed Mariah and that was the first time I actually got any words out, "Demi!" I'd hoped to catch her attention but apparently I should've been catching Mariah's since the next thing I knew, Mariah's fist slammed into Demi's cheek. "What the fuck, Mariah?!" I'd never felt so helpless in a situation as I did right now. The alcohol was flooding my reaction times and I was a step behind everything that was happening. Where was Mariah's boyfriend to get a grasp on her? Fuck, they were pulling each other's fucking hair now? What the fuck? "Demi! Mariah! Cut it the fuck out!" Every time one of them would punch, I'd yell at them but clearly yelling was not the proper way to get these girls to stop.
Once Mariah had let go of Demi's hair, I knew that was my best chance of pulling them apart without them pulling each other's hair out. I wrapped my arms around Demi's waist as I tried to get her out of the fight but Mariah kept going after Demi, who was seriously tapping into some primal source of strength that only happened when you were flooded with adrenaline. "Would someone fucking help me!?" Jesus, christ, all these fucking people were crowded around as I try to fucking get my girlfriend and best friend to lay off each other. If no one was going to help, I had to do this from a different angle. I let go of Demi's waist, instead moving to stand in between them. The next thing I knew, I felt a fist collide into my jaw. Hard. My head snapped to the side and I saw Mariah, her eyes widened. My eyes narrowed at her while I reached up to rub at my now aching jaw. Demi gasped and asked if I was okay but I wasn't even going to fucking dignify that with an answer. I ground my teeth together as I tried to keep my anger under control. "Car. Now." I was too angry to form any semblance of a coherent sentence. I couldn't believe them. I could not fucking believe they would stoop this low. I didn't even take the time to sum up the damages done to Demi's face. Right now, I was too fucking angry to want to feel sympathy for her. I hoped she was embarrassed with herself. I hoped she felt really fucking bad for this. I grabbed her arm, probably tighter than I had actually meant to, pulling her towards Glenn's front door. Once we were outside, I let go of her arm, heading for the car. I wasn't going to be a gentleman anymore tonightm she didn't deserve it anymore. However, I did make sure she was in the car before I got in. I didn't want to have to manhandle her into the car and fortunately she did just get in on her own. I sat in the driver's seat, slamming the door behind me. I wanted to get out of here as soon as fucking possible. I needed to punch down a few fucking walls. We can pretend I was remodeling.
Cody ignored my question and demanded I go to the car. Fuck, he wasn't happy. Was he really pissed off at me, though? I thought it would be clear as daylight that I didn't start any of this, that bitch did. Cody grabbed my arm and fucking yanked me towards the door and I gasped at how unexpected that was. He's never treated me like this. And even worse, he's never treated me like this in front of people. The least he could have done was supported me and acted like we were on good terms in front of people and then yelled at me once we were in private. Way to fucking burst my pride in front of the girl I loathe. Every single time Cody has gotten into a fight, I've always taken his side. Always. And I've always been there for him. Fuck the pain that would surely ensue on my face, it hurt knowing that I didn't have a supportive boyfriend and one that was practically treating my like shit right now. Every single time, no matter who started the fight, I was always there for Cody. And I especially always took his side in front of whoever he fought. Sure I'd bitch at him afterwards, but it wasn't for fighting it was for scaring me with his injuries. He pretty much gave the stupid whore what she fucking wanted. She cockblocked us and stopped us from having sex, she fucked up my face and now she left Cody and I mad at each other. That sneaky bitch knew exactly what she was doing since the second she called out Cody's name. Cody walked to his side of the car, leaving me to open my side for myself, and once we were in, he sped away from Glenn's house like a bat out of hell. He didn't buckle his seatbelt and he didn't even wait for me to put on mine.
I stayed staring at Cody but he didn't even glance over at me once. He didn't even ask me if I was okay. He didn't bother looking to see if I was dying or bleeding or anything. The time I needed him the most is the time he isn't being here for me. He didn't care about me. I felt my eyes watering up so I looked away, it's not like he was paying me any mind. I pulled down the visor on my side and opened up the mirror and I actually got frightened at my refelection, and I knew it'd be worse tomorrow. A bump was starting to form on my cheek, my eye was swelling up and closing, my hair was all over the place and I'm sure I had lost at least half the hairs on my head with all the pulling she did. I slammed the mirror shut, not wanting to see my ugly face anymore and closed the visor, looking around to see where we were. Cody had passed the street of my house so that was a good sign, I guess. At least he still wanted me in his house. I stayed looking out the window, not enjoy this silent treatment at all. I just wanted him to yell at me and get it over with, I knew it was bound to come. But this whole silence thing was just torture. Cody pulled up into his driveway and nearly ran out of the car and towards the door, once again, leaving me by myself. I opened the door and hopped out as best as I could in five inch heels, liquor in my system and injuries on my face. I sped to catch up with him but he had already opened the front door and was walking inside. I closed the door behind me, locking it and then scurrying inside, not sure what to do next. My face was starting to hurt more with each minute that passed by, but more than all, my heart was aching at how badly he was treating me. He was acting like I wasn't even here. I walked over to where I knew he'd be, letting Venny out of his cage and sure enough, he was bent over opening the latch on his cage. "Cody..." I whispered. "Can I please get you ice for your jaw?" I whispered again, scared that he'd turn around and just let all his anger out on me at once. But he stayed quiet, continuing what he was doing. "Can you please say something? Anything? I'm sorry."
I sped out off the second she closed her door, my mind focused on getting the fuck away from here as quickly as possible. My hands gripped so tightly at the wheel that my knuckles were turning white. I ground my teeth together, knowing that if I opened my mouth in any sort of way, I'd completely unleash my anger. Demi flipped down the visor to see the damage and despite my not wanting to see so that I wouldn't back down, I did glance over. Fuck, she looked awful. I could fucking kill Mariah right now. I could go a week without seeing either one of them right now and be perfectly fucking fine. Okay maybe seeing her injuries wouldn't soften me up quite as much as they thought I would. I had way too much preexisting anger now. My heart was freaking pounding against my chest and I was speeding and not wearing my seat belt plus I had alcohol in my system. Thank God, Demi wasn't yelling at me about that because I would probably put her in her place. If I got pulled over by cops, I was fucked. We finally reached home, even though I was positive that was the fastest I had made it to my house from Glenn's, it still felt longer. I walked straight inside, not even bothering to help Demi. She was being so independent tonight, she could get out of the damn car on her own. I set my keys down on the small table near the door then headed to go let Venny out. I tried my hardest to push my anger away long enough to take care of Venny. But my hands were shaking from anger and I was having trouble getting him out of his cage. His whines and cries were making me 10 times more frustrated too. Demi's voice broke through my tunnel vision of Venny's cage, asking if she could get me ice for my jaw. I couldn't even fucking feel my jaw right now so no I didn't want ice. Instead of answering her, I just continued trying to get this fucking cage open. And now Venny was 20 times more excited since he saw Demi so he was barking and I was losing the grip I had on myself. Quickly.
Finally, I managed to get him out of the cage and he charged at Demi whose eyes I knew were on me. Speaking of ice, she probably really needed some. I walked out past Demi, making sure to not bump into her or anything. Once I was in the kitchen, I threw open the door with the bags in them and I pulled out before going over and filling it up with crushed ice. I sealed up the bag then put it in another so it wouldn't drip quite so much. I spun to head out of the kitchen but Demi was right there. I don't know what the fuck she was expecting from me but it sure as hell would not be words unless she wanted me to yell her into a corner because I was at that point. I held the bag out for her and once she took it, I mumbled out, "Eye" before walking past her to get Venny outside before he made a mess in the house. Congratulations Venny, you get to experience your parents fighting again. I led him outside and stood around for him to go to the bathroom before heading back inside with him. I stripped off my sweater, tossing it haphazardly over the couch, not even planning on watching the stupid thing. I'd barely even worn it tonight so what would be the point? This whole time, my jaw had been clenched and the second I let go of it to speak, I could feel the pain I'd been avoiding earlier. Jesus Christ, who knew my girlfriend could put me in this kind of physical pain? I winced as I reached up to rub my jaw. Fuck this noise, I was going to bed. I walked into the guest room, kicking off my shoes since I was "going to bed". I knew I wouldn't get shit for sleep. I needed to run off my anger, or punch the shit of something. Now that I was alone I could feel myself letting my anger go a tiny bit. My chest heaved with the heavy breaths I was taking. It got to the point where I just hauled out and smashed my fist into the wall. I couldn't feel the pain in my jaw anymore and I sure as fuck couldn't feel my hand. Demi walked into the guest room and I glared at her, "Go to bed, Demi."
Cody ignored me and continued fighting with the damn cage to open it and as soon as he let Venny out, he came rushing to me. He'd seen Cody today but he hadn't seen me in a few days. I slightly bent down and patted his head, not wanting to ignore him or treat him bad unlike certain other people in this room were doing to me. I rubbed my hand down Venny's back to calm him a bit and then I followed to where I had seen Cody head to, the kitchen. I stood at the door way, watching as he prepared an ice pack that I thought would be for himself, but he ended up handing it to me and told me his first word of the night: eye. I didn't want ice because the coldness burned my skin but I put it on anyways, just to please him. He got Venny and took him outside and I decided to let him go on his own. I didn't want to follow him anywhere, that'd probably just annoy him more. I stayed standing by the kitchen with the ice pack to my face and watched as he came inside. My eyes followed him as he took off his sweater and then walked to the spare room. I figured he was just going to get something in there, since we had made that promise that even if we were mad at each other, we'd sleep in the same bed and wouldn't kick each other out. But I heard a loud noise so I rushed to the room but slowed down once I walked in. Cody instructed me to go to bed, but I ignored him, looking around the room to see what had caused that loud noise and sure enough, there was a hole in the wall. I immediately looked at Cody's hand and saw his knuckles a shade of red.
"Okay, I will. But..." I sighed, not sure what to say to make him talk to me. I stayed quiet for a few seconds, trying to think of the right thing to say to get him unmad or at least to say something. I took the ice pack off my face and took a step closer to him, "Are you going to come to bed with me?" I spoke softly. He shook his head and told me that he wasn't, and I sort of panicked. This was not good. I needed him. My face was in pain, my hands were in pain, my heart was in pain. I needed him to be there so that I could fall asleep and maybe, hopefully feel better when I wake up. But I couldn't fall asleep knowing he was in the same house but a different room, and most of all, knowing that he was upset. Cody turned away from me and headed towards the bed, pulling back the covers and laying down. I thought maybe he would invite me to lay down with him, but nope. He laid diagonally across the bed, not leaving any room for me. Venice came into the room and rubbed his cold nose against my leg, asking for attention. I didn't want him to notice us fighting so I picked him up and kissed the top of his head. I looked back at Cody and he was just staring at the roof, definitely not going to sleep. I know him way better than that. I walked over to the edge of the bed and sat on the tiniest corner, not wanting to upset Cody, and I put Venny and the ice bag down next to me. Speaking in a low voice again, I figured I'd attempt to get him to talk once more. "I'm sorry, Cody. I didn't mean to hit you. You know that I'd never purposely do that. I thought you were still behind me. I'm really sorry. And as for the fight, honestly, I'm not apologizing for that," I looked up at him to see how he'd react to that sentence, cause I'd imagine he'd be upset. But I wasn't going to apologize for something I wasn't sorry for. "She hit me first. Did you want me to just lay there and get myself murdered? She started it, Cody. You saw that. Who comes up and interrupts a couple that's very clearly about to go have sex? If Joe would have done that, and then mixed with her saying that I'm her problem, you would have reacted the same way, if not worse. I'm really sorry for upsetting you, Cody."
She asked me if I was coming to bed with her and I scoffed before shaking my head. She must be fucking out of her mind if she thought I was going to bed with her. I turned away from her and head to the bed, pulling back the covers once I got there. I laid across the bed, pointedly covering most of it so she would get the hint that she was to go upstairs to go to bed. My eyes stayed on the ceiling as I mentally tried to cool off. I knew I probably wouldn't get any sleep tonight but maybe with some luck I could calm down enough to get a couple hours. I felt as she sat on the bed but I left my eyes on the ceiling, hoping to convey to her that I didn't want to hear it. Venice curled up at my feet and rest his head on my leg and I really wanted to pet him and cuddle with him but I wasn't about to show Demi that I was in the mood for affection from anyone or anything. She apologized for hitting me, saying she didn't do it on purpose which I knew. I knew she would never even dream of laying a harmful finger on me. But the fact that she was so bent on hitting Mariah that she didn't even see when I was trying to intervene was fucking annoying.
As she tried to explain herself, my jaw went back to the clenched state it had been. This was all bullshit. I went to fold my hands together over my stomach while she explained but that shot pains through my knuckles. Oh fuck, that hurt. But then I heard Joe's name and suddenly, I didn't feel it anymore. I shook my head and raised myself to my elbows. "If he had said what Mariah had said to me, I would've replied verbally. The only time I've ever hauled out and punched him is when he was threatening me with a fucking razor blade. Also, I'd have a hell of a lot more reason to beat the shit out of him since he put me in a fucking hospital a few months ago. So, there is a big difference. You know damn well I've only gotten in fights when someone was being bad mouthed or when I was attacked." I laid back again, letting out an angry breath. "It is just as much your fault as it is hers. Sure she pulled me away, but I was about to tell her to buzz off. You could've ignored her, make her think that what she says doesn't bother you. You didn't have to turn it physical by pushing her and she sure as hell shouldn't have fucking punched you like that. But you didn't have to punch her back. You could've been the bigger person and dropped it but you've just been waiting for your chance to get in a couple shots at her since we started dating. How did that feel, Demi? Oh preacher of how fighting isn't the fucking answer. Do you feel better now that she fucked up your face? Now that you accomplished absolutely fucking nothing?" I was trying to keep my voice even so that I wasn't yelling in front of Venny and terrifying him like we had done last time. "And you should be sorry for starting a fucking fight. You should be fucking embarrassed as fuck. I know I am. I can't even fucking bring my girlfriend to my friends parties. Not like they'll fucking want me to anymore anyway. They're sure as fuck not going to take your side." I laid back down, crossing my arms over my chest. "Just fucking go to bed. I want this day to be over with already."
I stayed quiet and listened intently to everything Cody was saying, although it wasn't at all what I wanted to hear. I was on the verge of tears more and more with every word he let out. He told me that I made myself look stupid and that I embarrassed myself and that hurt me a lot. And if my ego wasn't already full deflated, stomped on and dragged across an imaginary road, he told me that my face is fucked up. He pretty much just told me that I'm ugly. I felt like a monster. I felt hideous. I felt disgusting. And I wanted to disappear from life at this very moment. But he didn't stop degrading me there, despite seeing I was very obviously hurt. He told me that now he can't ever take me to any of his friends' parties and that they'll really never like me. To someone else, that might not hurt. But I was always worried about his friends liking me and Cody always swore they did, but most of them, except Kyle, sure didn't act like it. But now I probably even ruined Kyle's opinion about me that actually really meant a lot to me, because I like him. He's a good kid. All his words, all his actions, they felt like when he was breaking up with me, when he made me feel literally worse than shit. And the worst part is, I can't even be mad at him because I guess I asked for it. All of this was hitting way too close to home. I never thought I'd see this side of Cody again, but boy was I wrong. He was out and in full force tonight. I felt my bottom lip start to quiver so I just nodded my head when he told me to go to bed. I picked up my ice bag and got off the bed. I wasn't exactly going to bed just yet, but I would be soon enough.
I walked to the kitchen and pulled out two Zip Loc bags, filling them up with ice and then wrapping a paper towel around each of them so that it wouldn't burn his skin. I quietly tip toed back into his room and peaked in to see he was still staring up at the roof. "I'm sorry to bother you again," I whispered. I walked up to the bed and put both ice bags on the edge of the bed. "For your jaw and for your knuckles," I told him, patting Venny on the belly. He looked at me with a sad face, probably wanting me to get into bed so that all three of us can cuddle but I shrugged my shoulders at him and started walking away before I started crying. Sorry Venny, but it's obvious I'm not wanted in this bed or even in this room. As I walked to the door, I whispered, "I love you." I slowed down my steps as I approached the door to see if I heard it back, and not a peep came out of him. I rushed out of the door and once I was out of his sight, I ran towards the stairs and took them two steps at a time til I got to the top. Once I walked into Cody's room, I let out all the tears I had been trying so hard to hold back down there. It hurt like hell coming out of my fucked up eye, but I didn't care. I needed the pain. I kicked off my shoes, and staying in this stupid, waste of an outfit, I climbed into Cody's bed and kept sobbing. What the fuck did I do? I ruin everything. Everything. I'm a useless, stupid, fucked up, piece of shit. I usually don't throw the "h" word around, even for Mariah. I dislike her a whole lot, but I wouldn't say I hate her. But I can honestly say that I fucking hate myself.
I laid my head on a pillow and grabbed a pillow from right beside me, wrapping my arms around it and burying my face into it so that I could cry into it and so that it'd drown out my sobbing. I didn't want to give Cody the satisfaction that he made me cry and made me feel worthless. The pillow was hurting my face with as roughly as I had it pressed to me, so I purposely pressed it against me harder. I hoped I suffocated. Despite Cody not breaking up with me tonight, I was getting so much deja vu. If he thought my face was fucked up and ugly tonight, by tomorrow with all the swollenness from the day after and from the tears, he'd be ready to have me killed. Between my weeping, I heard a bark and my body shot up to sit up on the bed. "Venice?" I asked as I jumped off the bed. He was walking into the room and heading towards where I was. I picked him up, a bit confused, seeing as he doesn't know how to climb the stairs yet. I think Cody would have told me if he learned in the past few days. I petted his head as I walked to the top of the stairs and looked down and Cody wasn't anywhere in sight. I think I'd rather put my bet on Venice having learned overnight than to ever expect Cody to bring him up here. I laid on the bed, putting Venice next to me and I let out a long sigh. "I fucked things up, baby. Again. Your daddy hates your mommmy now and it's all my fault." I planned on talking to a sleeping Venice for the rest of the night until Cody woked up and kicked me out of his house. I feel a break up coming up. I just know he's going to do it. I had the feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Demi left the room and I closed my eyes, mouthing the words I love you. I knew I should've told her it but I couldn't I was still too fucking angry with her. I didn't want her to think she could tell me she loved me and all our problems would poof! go away. Venice padded up the bed to me, whining softly wandering where mommy had gone. He rested his head on my chest and gave me the saddest expression I'd ever seen. "You really missed mommy, huh?" I missed her too but then things shot straight to hell. Well, I wasn't ruining Venice's night too. He hated being away from her just as much as I did and I could imagine how much disappointment he felt right now with her having just been here but now she was gone after I'd been telling him for days that she'd be here. No, I couldn't disappoint him like that. Plus, this way Demi wouldn't be completely alone which I knew would be hard for her. She always had me or one of the kids with her so it'd be even worse for her to not have one of them. "C'mon, you can go be with mommy and take care of her for me. Will you do that?" He licked my arm in response and I took that as a yes. I got out of the bed with him and went up enough steps so that I could put Venice at the top. I heard Demi's sobs and my shoulders sagged with guilt. I sat Venice down on the top, kissing his nose before patting his butt in the direction of the room. He barked and ran off to go get Demi so I walked back down the stairs and into the guest room.
Right now I wanted a fifth of vodka, a couple joints, and a large punching bag. I wanted to divulge in every single poor act against my own body and mind and beat the shit out of something. I wanted to pass out from alcohol poisoning or to crush the shit out of the bones in my hand. I really wanted to rip Mariah a new one for being such a cunt tonight. But instead, I collapsed back on my bed, scooping up one of the bags of ice Demi had brought me. I forced myself to straighten out my fingers even though the pain nearly brought tears to my eyes. My knuckles were bruised and swollen and my jaw felt really heavy. I tried closing my eyes and actually going to sleep but I couldn't sleep in my damn jeans so I stood back up from my bed, pushing them off with one hand while I babied the other. When I got back on the bed, I sat back up against the headboard, my head hung as I looked down at my lap. I wished we could start tonight over again. Maybe I could decide that I didn't want to party and go see a movie. Maybe I could still take her to the party and just pull her into a room instead of being too damn horny to do so. I sighed as I went back to laying down but this bed just wasn't as comfortable as my own. Plus I couldn't sleep alone. I was used to either having Demi or Venny but now I was alone. And now that I was alone, my anger was ebbing away and the guilt of the way I'd treated Demi came flooding in to replace it. I tried to justify myself that she deserved to be yelled at and not respected after the bullshit she pulled but I should've at least told her that I loved her too. She never deserved how low I could get. I ignored the buzzing from my phone that I knew was my friends wondering what was going on, or to bitch about what had happened.
For the rest of the night, I just tried to do no thinking at all. Just lay awake with absolutely no thought process at all. Like my brain is sleeping while the rest of me was awake but I knew that wasn't going to happen. Instead I laid in bed, wanting to go up and check on Demi, make sure she was okay but I was worried about how much damage my words had done. It took me until about 8 o'clock until I finally rolled out of bed, my hurt hand pressed to my stomach. I trudged into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge and grabbing out the orange juice. Then grabbed two glasses, filling one with water and the other with the orange juice. I didn't know which she'd prefer so I just picked both. Next I pulled out the tylenol and shook one out. She'd probably need another ice pack too so I made another one, this time adding paper towel like she had. I wedged the two glasses between my arm so I didn't have to use that hand then grabbed the pill and ice pack with my left hand. My feet were dragging as I walked over to the stairs, slowly climbing up them. I was so wiped out but I knew I was totally wired and would be for a while. Using my shoulder, I pushed the door open a little more, heading straight for her bedside table. I didn't even glance at her because I was terrified to see how much worse her injuries had gotten. I set the glasses down but she scared the shit out of me when she moved. "Fuck, sorry, I didn't realize you were awake." I looked over at her and not only was her black and blue eye swollen but her other was too, like she'd been crying. She still had some make up on plus her dress from the night before and I frowned out of worry. "I uh.. brought you some aspirin in case you wanted it and another ice pack." I sat on the edge of the bed and noticed how tired she looked. Had she not slept either? I guess I'd understand if she hadn't. I noticed how scared he looked and that tore me apart. I should be turned in for being abusive or something. One step in public and I'd probably be arrested for it anyway. "I'm not angry anymore. I'm sorry. I won't be mean anymore. Why don't you change into something comfortable?" I stood up from the bed and went to my dresser pulling out one of my shirts that she sometimes slept in. "Here. You can wear this. I mean, if you want."
I stayed up most of the night. Although my eyes would start hurting from crying, so I'd close them for a few minutes and I'd end up drifting off to sleep. But then what must be no more than ten or fifteen minutes later, my face would touch a pillow or my knuckles would touch the bed and I'd wake up from the pain. This happened pretty much the entire night until I saw the sun creeping through the edges of the window's curtains. From there on out, I just laid in bed, staring at Venny in his peaceful, deep sleep, or watching the minutes on the bedside clock pass by. Finally, I heard some noise in the house but I don't think that was a good thing. I tried to listen to what he was doing downstairs and I heard noise around the kitchen. Was he leaving? No, I don't think so. He had clothes downstairs from last night but his toothbrush was up here. And then I heard the noise move closer towards me, and I realized he was coming up here. I quickly shut my eyes because not only was he probably coming up here for something else not relevant to me, but I didn't want him to kick me out of the house. I heard him put something down right next to me and that's when my eyes flew open, and I spun around to face him. I let out a small sigh when I saw it was a glass of water. I thought maybe it had been his promise ring or him giving me back everything I've gotten him.
He looked frightened when he actually saw my face, though. I kind of wanted to see what my face looked like right now, but at the same time, I knew I'd start hating myself more if I saw how ugly I was. I pressed my lips together as he told me that he brought me a drink and aspirin. He told me that he's not angry anymore and he apologized as he stood up from the bed to get me something to change into. I pressed my weight on my knuckles to sit up on the bed, forgetting it fucking hurt, and I let out a groan as the pain shot through me. As I got off the bed, I felt like a child getting off punishment. They're excited they aren't punished anymore but they know they're still treading on eggshells. I quietly got up and grabbed the shirt from him, whispering out a small, "Thanks." I hesitated at first, not sure if I should change here or go to the bathroom so that he wouldn't see me if I hit one of my injuries again. But I really didn't want to look in the mirror, so I was staying here. "Can you umm...?" I asked him, turning around and moving my hair to the side so that he could get the hint. He pulled down the zipper on the side of my dress and I gave him another 'thanks' before taking a few steps away so that I could change. I slipped out of the dress, thankful that this dress required no bra, and threw the t-shirt over my head.
I walked back over to the bedside and picked up the aspirins in my head. I noticed there were two cups, water and orange juice and I got a bit confused as to which was mine. I looked over at Cody, who was sitting on the edge of his bed. I raised an eyebrow, showing him I was confused, and he told me they were both for me. "Okay then, thanks," I bit my lip nervously as I picked up the glass of orange juice and popped the aspirins into my mouth, taking a big sip. I was nervous that once he had me changed and a bit more calm, that he'd break the "big" news. I was scared to death that he would break up with me. The only thing I was anticipating was for these pills to take away my headache, and hopefully some of my pain. Cody called out my name and pointed out that he had also brought me a new ice pack. "Thanks but I, umm, I don't want to put anymore ice," I told him as I grabbed it from the nightstand. "It's kind of burning my skin and making the pain worse. Have you taken aspirin?" He shook his head, telling me no and I frowned, cause I knew he must be in pain, too. "Can you please take some? I'll get it for you if you want, hold on. Don't move. Stay there. Please," I begged him before scurrying across the room before rushing downstairs, towards the kitchen and grabbing the bottle of aspirin from a drawer and pouring two into my hand. I ran back upstairs and held them out for Cody to grab. "Here you go," I picked up the glass of water and handed it to Cody.
I wrapped my free arm around the back of his waist and leaned into him as I stared at the dance floor too, except I was looking to see if Mariah had gotten here yet, as I took sips from my cup. Cody leaned in to tell me over the music that he finished his drink that he was going to get another one, and I nodded, letting him know I'd do the same. We got our second rounds of drinks and when I went to walk back over to Cody, I saw he was talking to Kyle. I didn't mind any of his friends (except for the obvious one) but Kyle was by far my favorite friend of his. He was the nicest one to me, the one that seemed like the best friend to him and most importantly, one of the only ones that respected the fact that he had a girlfriend. "Hi Kyle!" I waved at him and gave him a genuine smile as I walked up to them. I interlinked the fingers on my free hand with Cody's as I waited for them to finish catching up. And once there was a break in their conversation, I leaned in to speak to Cody over the music. "Wanna go dance for a little bit?" Cody agreed and I took a sip from my drink as he dismissed us from Kyle. He grabbed onto my hips from behind and let me lead the way to the dance floor.
Reply
Kyle started telling me about something he'd been taught in school and I was back to being envious that my friends got to experience college. I hated school but sometimes I wondered if I was missing out on it. We agreed to making another movie sometime soon so that he could test it out before Demi leaned in and asked if I wanted to dance. "Definitely. See you later tonight, Kyle!" I told Kyle before walking behind Demi, my hands on her waist out towards the dance floor. I grabbed her and spun her around to face me once we reached the floor, grinning down at her. "My dancing has improved since Broadway. Well, a little bit." I pulled her by the hips so that she was closer to me but not so much that we were grinding or any of that. I could not handle that with the dress she was wearing right now. I'd have her in Glenn's spare room in under 5 minutes. We continued to dance normally for a while longer before I continued talking. "And I also know that you're practically a professional dancer now so you can show my dance skills up," I joked with her. But let's face it, she wasn't anywhere near as awful at dancing as she claimed. "Wait, wait, wait, what's that one thing you do?" I took a step back from her and tried to do the thing where rolled her shoulders and hips at the same time. After failing miserably, I started cracking up and pulled Demi back into my arms. "Well, clearly I can't do it. How about you show me how to do it? Or do I need to get a few more drinks in your first?"
Reply
"What do you say we get another drink?" I suggested. "Maybe a shot this time," I needed to get drunk ASAP and shots got the job done. Cody pulled us away from the dance floor and back to the very familiar liquor table. I got two shot glasses and poured vodka in them, filling them to the rim before handing one to Cody. I counted down out loud from three to one before chugging down the strong taste of vodka. But when I put my glass down, Cody had beat me. "No fair! Lets do another one, I started late," I used as an excuse. I did the same routine, pouring us two vodka filled, shot glasses and handed one to Cody. "Okay on your mark, get set..." And before I finished, I put the glass to my lips and chugged it down. "Hahaha I beat you!" I celebrated out loud. "But you were a good sport!" I told him, leaning into him and puckering my lips so that he could kiss me. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and I tasted the vodka on his lips as I tried my best to suck out all the taste but it was permanently stuck there! It wasn't coming off! Did that mean his lips would always taste like vodka? Would I get drunk every time we kiss from here on out? Oh no! Or maybe I'm just starting to get drunk now and thinking up nonsense! "Lets go back out to the dance floor," I suggested. Now that the liquor was hitting me, I had a feeling our dancing was going to get a bit PG-13.
Reply
"You cheater!" I exclaimed loudly but she calmed my outburst with a equally intoxicating kiss. She pulled away, suggesting we go back out and dance. I held up my finger and made her take one more shot. Demi led us back out to the dance floor, pulling me into the middle of a big crowd. We started off dancing with a little bit of space between us, with my hands on her waist. However, Demi moved closer to me so that her body pressed to mine. I knew things were about to get much more heated. I wrapped one of my arms further around her waist as her hips grinded against mine. So much for waiting a while before we start this but to be honest, I didn't want it to go away now that it was happening. Her arms wrapped around my neck and I moved my hand that had been on the small of her back to her ass, pushing her hips against mine even more. We made it through an entire song without leaving to the nearest bedroom, closet, or bathroom which I think might be a record for us. That record wasn't outlasted long before I leaned over and pressed my lips to hers. Her hips were still rocking against mine making me want more and more even though I tried to push her closer to me but there was no more space between us. I pulled away from her lips, taking a deep breath as I grabbed her hand, "Come on." I led her out of the crowd, on the way to a room of some sort but they were all too far from here. "Oh fuck it," I cursed as I pinned her up against the wall and went back to attacking her lips and rocking my hips against hers. My girlfriend was like a drug to me that I could never get enough of.
Reply
And of course, Mariah was behind this. I saw her pulling at Cody's arm til he was completely off of me before she nearly jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him into a hug A.K.A. to rub her tits all over him. I took two huge steps forward and waited for him to put her back down and when I saw that she kept talking to him and being all flirty with him, as if Cody hadn't just been about to fuck his girlfriends seconds ago before she rudely interrupted. Like, who the fuck even does that?! I took another step forward to step between them and I just couldn't bite my tongue. "What the fuck is your problem, Mariah?!" I shouted at her, seriously pissed the fuck off right now. I thought she'd get the hint and say her goodbyes to Cody, but instead, she tested my patience. She was asking for it! 'You and your face,' she told me with a nasty, bitchy faced smirk. I wanted to punch her in the face so fucking badly right now, but I know that wouldn't go well with Cody. I took a deep breath and I was about ready to take a step back when she let out a victorious, snarky laugh, pretty much laughing at the fact that not only did she succesfully cock block us, but that I didn't do anything about it. Except she was wrong, because I was going to do something about it.
Reply
Reply
Once Mariah had let go of Demi's hair, I knew that was my best chance of pulling them apart without them pulling each other's hair out. I wrapped my arms around Demi's waist as I tried to get her out of the fight but Mariah kept going after Demi, who was seriously tapping into some primal source of strength that only happened when you were flooded with adrenaline. "Would someone fucking help me!?" Jesus, christ, all these fucking people were crowded around as I try to fucking get my girlfriend and best friend to lay off each other. If no one was going to help, I had to do this from a different angle. I let go of Demi's waist, instead moving to stand in between them. The next thing I knew, I felt a fist collide into my jaw. Hard. My head snapped to the side and I saw Mariah, her eyes widened. My eyes narrowed at her while I reached up to rub at my now aching jaw. Demi gasped and asked if I was okay but I wasn't even going to fucking dignify that with an answer. I ground my teeth together as I tried to keep my anger under control. "Car. Now." I was too angry to form any semblance of a coherent sentence. I couldn't believe them. I could not fucking believe they would stoop this low. I didn't even take the time to sum up the damages done to Demi's face. Right now, I was too fucking angry to want to feel sympathy for her. I hoped she was embarrassed with herself. I hoped she felt really fucking bad for this. I grabbed her arm, probably tighter than I had actually meant to, pulling her towards Glenn's front door. Once we were outside, I let go of her arm, heading for the car. I wasn't going to be a gentleman anymore tonightm she didn't deserve it anymore. However, I did make sure she was in the car before I got in. I didn't want to have to manhandle her into the car and fortunately she did just get in on her own. I sat in the driver's seat, slamming the door behind me. I wanted to get out of here as soon as fucking possible. I needed to punch down a few fucking walls. We can pretend I was remodeling.
Reply
I stayed staring at Cody but he didn't even glance over at me once. He didn't even ask me if I was okay. He didn't bother looking to see if I was dying or bleeding or anything. The time I needed him the most is the time he isn't being here for me. He didn't care about me. I felt my eyes watering up so I looked away, it's not like he was paying me any mind. I pulled down the visor on my side and opened up the mirror and I actually got frightened at my refelection, and I knew it'd be worse tomorrow. A bump was starting to form on my cheek, my eye was swelling up and closing, my hair was all over the place and I'm sure I had lost at least half the hairs on my head with all the pulling she did. I slammed the mirror shut, not wanting to see my ugly face anymore and closed the visor, looking around to see where we were. Cody had passed the street of my house so that was a good sign, I guess. At least he still wanted me in his house. I stayed looking out the window, not enjoy this silent treatment at all. I just wanted him to yell at me and get it over with, I knew it was bound to come. But this whole silence thing was just torture. Cody pulled up into his driveway and nearly ran out of the car and towards the door, once again, leaving me by myself. I opened the door and hopped out as best as I could in five inch heels, liquor in my system and injuries on my face. I sped to catch up with him but he had already opened the front door and was walking inside. I closed the door behind me, locking it and then scurrying inside, not sure what to do next. My face was starting to hurt more with each minute that passed by, but more than all, my heart was aching at how badly he was treating me. He was acting like I wasn't even here. I walked over to where I knew he'd be, letting Venny out of his cage and sure enough, he was bent over opening the latch on his cage. "Cody..." I whispered. "Can I please get you ice for your jaw?" I whispered again, scared that he'd turn around and just let all his anger out on me at once. But he stayed quiet, continuing what he was doing. "Can you please say something? Anything? I'm sorry."
Reply
Finally, I managed to get him out of the cage and he charged at Demi whose eyes I knew were on me. Speaking of ice, she probably really needed some. I walked out past Demi, making sure to not bump into her or anything. Once I was in the kitchen, I threw open the door with the bags in them and I pulled out before going over and filling it up with crushed ice. I sealed up the bag then put it in another so it wouldn't drip quite so much. I spun to head out of the kitchen but Demi was right there. I don't know what the fuck she was expecting from me but it sure as hell would not be words unless she wanted me to yell her into a corner because I was at that point. I held the bag out for her and once she took it, I mumbled out, "Eye" before walking past her to get Venny outside before he made a mess in the house. Congratulations Venny, you get to experience your parents fighting again. I led him outside and stood around for him to go to the bathroom before heading back inside with him. I stripped off my sweater, tossing it haphazardly over the couch, not even planning on watching the stupid thing. I'd barely even worn it tonight so what would be the point? This whole time, my jaw had been clenched and the second I let go of it to speak, I could feel the pain I'd been avoiding earlier. Jesus Christ, who knew my girlfriend could put me in this kind of physical pain? I winced as I reached up to rub my jaw. Fuck this noise, I was going to bed. I walked into the guest room, kicking off my shoes since I was "going to bed". I knew I wouldn't get shit for sleep. I needed to run off my anger, or punch the shit of something. Now that I was alone I could feel myself letting my anger go a tiny bit. My chest heaved with the heavy breaths I was taking. It got to the point where I just hauled out and smashed my fist into the wall. I couldn't feel the pain in my jaw anymore and I sure as fuck couldn't feel my hand. Demi walked into the guest room and I glared at her, "Go to bed, Demi."
Reply
"Okay, I will. But..." I sighed, not sure what to say to make him talk to me. I stayed quiet for a few seconds, trying to think of the right thing to say to get him unmad or at least to say something. I took the ice pack off my face and took a step closer to him, "Are you going to come to bed with me?" I spoke softly. He shook his head and told me that he wasn't, and I sort of panicked. This was not good. I needed him. My face was in pain, my hands were in pain, my heart was in pain. I needed him to be there so that I could fall asleep and maybe, hopefully feel better when I wake up. But I couldn't fall asleep knowing he was in the same house but a different room, and most of all, knowing that he was upset. Cody turned away from me and headed towards the bed, pulling back the covers and laying down. I thought maybe he would invite me to lay down with him, but nope. He laid diagonally across the bed, not leaving any room for me. Venice came into the room and rubbed his cold nose against my leg, asking for attention. I didn't want him to notice us fighting so I picked him up and kissed the top of his head. I looked back at Cody and he was just staring at the roof, definitely not going to sleep. I know him way better than that. I walked over to the edge of the bed and sat on the tiniest corner, not wanting to upset Cody, and I put Venny and the ice bag down next to me. Speaking in a low voice again, I figured I'd attempt to get him to talk once more. "I'm sorry, Cody. I didn't mean to hit you. You know that I'd never purposely do that. I thought you were still behind me. I'm really sorry. And as for the fight, honestly, I'm not apologizing for that," I looked up at him to see how he'd react to that sentence, cause I'd imagine he'd be upset. But I wasn't going to apologize for something I wasn't sorry for. "She hit me first. Did you want me to just lay there and get myself murdered? She started it, Cody. You saw that. Who comes up and interrupts a couple that's very clearly about to go have sex? If Joe would have done that, and then mixed with her saying that I'm her problem, you would have reacted the same way, if not worse. I'm really sorry for upsetting you, Cody."
Reply
As she tried to explain herself, my jaw went back to the clenched state it had been. This was all bullshit. I went to fold my hands together over my stomach while she explained but that shot pains through my knuckles. Oh fuck, that hurt. But then I heard Joe's name and suddenly, I didn't feel it anymore. I shook my head and raised myself to my elbows. "If he had said what Mariah had said to me, I would've replied verbally. The only time I've ever hauled out and punched him is when he was threatening me with a fucking razor blade. Also, I'd have a hell of a lot more reason to beat the shit out of him since he put me in a fucking hospital a few months ago. So, there is a big difference. You know damn well I've only gotten in fights when someone was being bad mouthed or when I was attacked." I laid back again, letting out an angry breath. "It is just as much your fault as it is hers. Sure she pulled me away, but I was about to tell her to buzz off. You could've ignored her, make her think that what she says doesn't bother you. You didn't have to turn it physical by pushing her and she sure as hell shouldn't have fucking punched you like that. But you didn't have to punch her back. You could've been the bigger person and dropped it but you've just been waiting for your chance to get in a couple shots at her since we started dating. How did that feel, Demi? Oh preacher of how fighting isn't the fucking answer. Do you feel better now that she fucked up your face? Now that you accomplished absolutely fucking nothing?" I was trying to keep my voice even so that I wasn't yelling in front of Venny and terrifying him like we had done last time. "And you should be sorry for starting a fucking fight. You should be fucking embarrassed as fuck. I know I am. I can't even fucking bring my girlfriend to my friends parties. Not like they'll fucking want me to anymore anyway. They're sure as fuck not going to take your side." I laid back down, crossing my arms over my chest. "Just fucking go to bed. I want this day to be over with already."
Reply
I walked to the kitchen and pulled out two Zip Loc bags, filling them up with ice and then wrapping a paper towel around each of them so that it wouldn't burn his skin. I quietly tip toed back into his room and peaked in to see he was still staring up at the roof. "I'm sorry to bother you again," I whispered. I walked up to the bed and put both ice bags on the edge of the bed. "For your jaw and for your knuckles," I told him, patting Venny on the belly. He looked at me with a sad face, probably wanting me to get into bed so that all three of us can cuddle but I shrugged my shoulders at him and started walking away before I started crying. Sorry Venny, but it's obvious I'm not wanted in this bed or even in this room. As I walked to the door, I whispered, "I love you." I slowed down my steps as I approached the door to see if I heard it back, and not a peep came out of him. I rushed out of the door and once I was out of his sight, I ran towards the stairs and took them two steps at a time til I got to the top. Once I walked into Cody's room, I let out all the tears I had been trying so hard to hold back down there. It hurt like hell coming out of my fucked up eye, but I didn't care. I needed the pain. I kicked off my shoes, and staying in this stupid, waste of an outfit, I climbed into Cody's bed and kept sobbing. What the fuck did I do? I ruin everything. Everything. I'm a useless, stupid, fucked up, piece of shit. I usually don't throw the "h" word around, even for Mariah. I dislike her a whole lot, but I wouldn't say I hate her. But I can honestly say that I fucking hate myself.
Reply
Reply
Right now I wanted a fifth of vodka, a couple joints, and a large punching bag. I wanted to divulge in every single poor act against my own body and mind and beat the shit out of something. I wanted to pass out from alcohol poisoning or to crush the shit out of the bones in my hand. I really wanted to rip Mariah a new one for being such a cunt tonight. But instead, I collapsed back on my bed, scooping up one of the bags of ice Demi had brought me. I forced myself to straighten out my fingers even though the pain nearly brought tears to my eyes. My knuckles were bruised and swollen and my jaw felt really heavy. I tried closing my eyes and actually going to sleep but I couldn't sleep in my damn jeans so I stood back up from my bed, pushing them off with one hand while I babied the other. When I got back on the bed, I sat back up against the headboard, my head hung as I looked down at my lap. I wished we could start tonight over again. Maybe I could decide that I didn't want to party and go see a movie. Maybe I could still take her to the party and just pull her into a room instead of being too damn horny to do so. I sighed as I went back to laying down but this bed just wasn't as comfortable as my own. Plus I couldn't sleep alone. I was used to either having Demi or Venny but now I was alone. And now that I was alone, my anger was ebbing away and the guilt of the way I'd treated Demi came flooding in to replace it. I tried to justify myself that she deserved to be yelled at and not respected after the bullshit she pulled but I should've at least told her that I loved her too. She never deserved how low I could get. I ignored the buzzing from my phone that I knew was my friends wondering what was going on, or to bitch about what had happened.
Reply
Reply
He looked frightened when he actually saw my face, though. I kind of wanted to see what my face looked like right now, but at the same time, I knew I'd start hating myself more if I saw how ugly I was. I pressed my lips together as he told me that he brought me a drink and aspirin. He told me that he's not angry anymore and he apologized as he stood up from the bed to get me something to change into. I pressed my weight on my knuckles to sit up on the bed, forgetting it fucking hurt, and I let out a groan as the pain shot through me. As I got off the bed, I felt like a child getting off punishment. They're excited they aren't punished anymore but they know they're still treading on eggshells. I quietly got up and grabbed the shirt from him, whispering out a small, "Thanks." I hesitated at first, not sure if I should change here or go to the bathroom so that he wouldn't see me if I hit one of my injuries again. But I really didn't want to look in the mirror, so I was staying here. "Can you umm...?" I asked him, turning around and moving my hair to the side so that he could get the hint. He pulled down the zipper on the side of my dress and I gave him another 'thanks' before taking a few steps away so that I could change. I slipped out of the dress, thankful that this dress required no bra, and threw the t-shirt over my head.
I walked back over to the bedside and picked up the aspirins in my head. I noticed there were two cups, water and orange juice and I got a bit confused as to which was mine. I looked over at Cody, who was sitting on the edge of his bed. I raised an eyebrow, showing him I was confused, and he told me they were both for me. "Okay then, thanks," I bit my lip nervously as I picked up the glass of orange juice and popped the aspirins into my mouth, taking a big sip. I was nervous that once he had me changed and a bit more calm, that he'd break the "big" news. I was scared to death that he would break up with me. The only thing I was anticipating was for these pills to take away my headache, and hopefully some of my pain. Cody called out my name and pointed out that he had also brought me a new ice pack. "Thanks but I, umm, I don't want to put anymore ice," I told him as I grabbed it from the nightstand. "It's kind of burning my skin and making the pain worse. Have you taken aspirin?" He shook his head, telling me no and I frowned, cause I knew he must be in pain, too. "Can you please take some? I'll get it for you if you want, hold on. Don't move. Stay there. Please," I begged him before scurrying across the room before rushing downstairs, towards the kitchen and grabbing the bottle of aspirin from a drawer and pouring two into my hand. I ran back upstairs and held them out for Cody to grab. "Here you go," I picked up the glass of water and handed it to Cody.
Reply
Leave a comment