Yahoo!
Not really yahoo. More like blah blah. Well, absolutely nothing is happening. Here i am almost 2 weeks after getting my insurance quote, and still waiting for the bloody thing to arrive at my house. Seriously, why is this taking so long? I understand it's an insurance company, and they are busy with other people and all that shit, but what i don't understand is how hard is it to mail a piece of paper. You print the page, fold it, place in an envelope, put a stamp on and away it goes. I mail shit at work all the time. It takes 2 seconds of my precious life. If it isn't here tomorrow, i'm going to call them, ask them if i can pick it up, if not. Fuck it. I'll get all the information from my 2 brothers and dad for their insurance and driver's license number, call RBC and give them what they need to know. Then they can tell me if my insurance will be higher or not. Because this is bullshit. I'm also going to call MOT and find out what the taxes * if there is taxes* are to switch registration from son to father, father to daughter. When i called on Saturday, all i understood was "family forms, $10.00 to get them" That doesn't tell me what i need to know. She could have said more, but if you have someone working in Whitby, make sure they are fucking ENGLISH you idiots. God, seriously. People are dumb. I don't think anyone really listens anymore. I think they just ignore the fact that Canadians cant understand foreigners.
I'm growing weary of life and love. I'm starting to lose my faith. Thing is i know i don't want anyone. If i know this, why do i care so much? Why do i feel fatigue? I'm not even sure if that is whats bothering me. Ugh, i just don't know anymore. I don't even know whats on my mind. I have a million things in my head, i feel like breaking down. Maybe crying for no reason will help, or breaking something. I just.. don't.. know! I hate not knowing how i feel, i hate not knowing what my reasonings are. I hate a lot of things. I feel angry and bitter a lot. I want to change who i was and become a better person, but how do i go about doing something with not affecting who i really am? I have always hated people who pretend to be something they aren't. I am the person who cheats, i am the person who lies, i am the person who pretends, i am the person that gets amusement out of hurting others. That's who i am. That's who i have always been. Changing myself would seem so easy to someone else, but if you have lived my life this way for years before, you would understand. Changing something like this, so fast, so drastically isn't easy. Everyone i met, i make sure they know my past, i make sure they know my intentions as of now. Why do people still try with me? Knowing i could still become the same person i was, but to them now.
I will never understand how people think, which i guess is a good thing, since knowing everything would suck. But, here i am. Trying my hardest to not be the person i used to be. Letting everyone down. Informing them of who i am. Watching every step as if its a test on my improvement.
But, i will not fail you. I will become this person i want to be, i will be a different person. My history will never repeat itself again.
I have been single since Feb. I haven't had sex since Jan. I'm still holding on, and i'm strong. I'm stronger than ever now.
To all those people i hurt in my past, i do not apologize, but i give thanks. If you ever hurt me, i don't want forgiveness. My past made me realize a few months ago that who i was, was a bad person. A person who didn't care. I will never be that person ever again, as God as my witness. To hurt another, will not be my nearest intention.
Everyone God bless, i'm going to bed.
I'm growing weary of life and love. I'm starting to lose my faith. Thing is i know i don't want anyone. If i know this, why do i care so much? Why do i feel fatigue? I'm not even sure if that is whats bothering me. Ugh, i just don't know anymore. I don't even know whats on my mind. I have a million things in my head, i feel like breaking down. Maybe crying for no reason will help, or breaking something. I just.. don't.. know! I hate not knowing how i feel, i hate not knowing what my reasonings are. I hate a lot of things. I feel angry and bitter a lot. I want to change who i was and become a better person, but how do i go about doing something with not affecting who i really am? I have always hated people who pretend to be something they aren't. I am the person who cheats, i am the person who lies, i am the person who pretends, i am the person that gets amusement out of hurting others. That's who i am. That's who i have always been. Changing myself would seem so easy to someone else, but if you have lived my life this way for years before, you would understand. Changing something like this, so fast, so drastically isn't easy. Everyone i met, i make sure they know my past, i make sure they know my intentions as of now. Why do people still try with me? Knowing i could still become the same person i was, but to them now.
I will never understand how people think, which i guess is a good thing, since knowing everything would suck. But, here i am. Trying my hardest to not be the person i used to be. Letting everyone down. Informing them of who i am. Watching every step as if its a test on my improvement.
But, i will not fail you. I will become this person i want to be, i will be a different person. My history will never repeat itself again.
I have been single since Feb. I haven't had sex since Jan. I'm still holding on, and i'm strong. I'm stronger than ever now.
To all those people i hurt in my past, i do not apologize, but i give thanks. If you ever hurt me, i don't want forgiveness. My past made me realize a few months ago that who i was, was a bad person. A person who didn't care. I will never be that person ever again, as God as my witness. To hurt another, will not be my nearest intention.
Everyone God bless, i'm going to bed.