So.
I worked out a life plan the other day. It started out with the problem that most of my jeans don't fit me, and I'd be a lot happier if they DID fit.
Thing is, though, that buying new jeans would be silly as I shouldn't BE this heavy...so I need to exercise.
Problem is, the Curves workout makes me faint, and whether I visit Curves OR the pool it's expensive. So what I need is my own pool.
Of course, if I want my own pool I will need a LOT of money. If I still lived with my parents, Mum's evil dog would do shits in the pool (which I would subsequently drown him for). Plus, I don't know if I'll ever get married, so I'll need to make that money on my own.
(I refuse to live solely off of the inheritance. That goes to college, only college. Any left over will be saved for disasters such as global warming, hurricanes, and Sims 3 stuff packs.)
To make that money I will need a considerably lucrative job. (I hear genetics counseling pays well. I'd be very good at that, and I'd get to wear a labcoat.) Of course, as I am a female with scaly skin and glasses who, remember, can't fit into her jeans, I am unlikely to be paid as much as a man or as an attractive woman in the same job. Even if I don't consider that, I will still make a lot more if I graduate college at the least.
To do that...hm. My high school didn't give grades, but my fellow graduates got accepted to quite a few schools, so how hard can it be? My studies on fractal geometry and high SAT scores should help.
So if I do all those things, my jeans will finally fit me again, and maybe if you girls still want anything to do with me, we'll have that lesbian party pad in San Francisco we always dreamed of.
ILU all. <3
P. S. - Has one of your co-workers ever spent three hours telling you about her favorite Twilight lemons? Is this normal?
P. P. S. - Yeahhhhh, college probably costs more than a swimming pool, which probably costs more than a whole lot of new pairs of jeans. But I'm stubborn like that.
Thing is, though, that buying new jeans would be silly as I shouldn't BE this heavy...so I need to exercise.
Problem is, the Curves workout makes me faint, and whether I visit Curves OR the pool it's expensive. So what I need is my own pool.
Of course, if I want my own pool I will need a LOT of money. If I still lived with my parents, Mum's evil dog would do shits in the pool (which I would subsequently drown him for). Plus, I don't know if I'll ever get married, so I'll need to make that money on my own.
(I refuse to live solely off of the inheritance. That goes to college, only college. Any left over will be saved for disasters such as global warming, hurricanes, and Sims 3 stuff packs.)
To make that money I will need a considerably lucrative job. (I hear genetics counseling pays well. I'd be very good at that, and I'd get to wear a labcoat.) Of course, as I am a female with scaly skin and glasses who, remember, can't fit into her jeans, I am unlikely to be paid as much as a man or as an attractive woman in the same job. Even if I don't consider that, I will still make a lot more if I graduate college at the least.
To do that...hm. My high school didn't give grades, but my fellow graduates got accepted to quite a few schools, so how hard can it be? My studies on fractal geometry and high SAT scores should help.
So if I do all those things, my jeans will finally fit me again, and maybe if you girls still want anything to do with me, we'll have that lesbian party pad in San Francisco we always dreamed of.
ILU all. <3
P. S. - Has one of your co-workers ever spent three hours telling you about her favorite Twilight lemons? Is this normal?
P. P. S. - Yeahhhhh, college probably costs more than a swimming pool, which probably costs more than a whole lot of new pairs of jeans. But I'm stubborn like that.