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Jon Stewart Quips and Quotes
It was the night where "you could see all your favourite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party".
The 78th annual Academy Awards, added laconic host Jon Stewart, was the first time Hollywood's great and good - mostly left-leaning Democrats - "had voted for a winner."
The barbed wit of the Daily Show host set the tone for an evening that may have been short on surprises - bar Crash as best picture - but was long on acidic joshing.
As he took his place behind the lectern at the Kodak Theatre, row upon row of stars - the cream of Hollywood, no less - looked at best uneasy and at worst absolutely petrified.
And they had good reason. Stewart is a man with a reputation as the satirical Genghis Khan of the loaded interview - a loose cannon with plenty of ammunition - and Tinseltown left him with no shortage of targets.
He kicked off by shaming the profiteers behind movie piracy - the bounders that left the poor gentlewomen of the acting world "with barely enough gown to cover their breasts."
Then it was down to specifics. Triple nominee George Clooney was "the man who signed off all his dates with Good Night, and Good Luck". Capote showed the world that "not all gay people are virile cowboys - some are actually effete New York intellectuals."
Picking out Steven Spielberg and citing his movies Munich and Schindler's List, Stewart commented "I think I speak for all Jews when I say: 'I can't wait to see what happens to us next. Trillogy?'." George Clooney accepts Oscar
With the collective fear now almost palpable, Stewart then revealed that Bjork - famed for her Oscars outfit in the shape of a swan - couldn't make it because as she was trying on her dress "Dick Cheney shot her" and went on to invite the audience to raise their hand if they weren't in Crash.
Then he gave Hollywood both barrels. "I'm from New York and I've been here a week and a half. A lot of people say this town is too liberal. Out of touch with mainstream America. A modern day beachfront Sodom and Gomorrah. A black hole where innocence is obliterated. An endless orgy of sexual gratification and greed.
"I don't really have a joke here...and I just thought you should know a lot of people are saying that."
Next up was a fiendishly seamless montage of movies that showed - after the hype surrounding Brokeback Mountain with Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal as homosexual ranchers - that "there is nothing remotely gay about the classic Hollywood Western."
"If you are trying to escape a burning car," quipped Stewart, "my advice would be not to move in slow motion." Three 6 Mafia
"How come they're the most exciting people here tonight?" he asked after the Three 6 Mafia picked up the best original song Oscar, thanking Jesus among others in the process.
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Só perdi 1h30m da minha vida para ver os OsCários para ver como é que o Jon se dava por lá, gostei o que vi e só voltarei a ver se ele voltar.
P.S. - A Transmissão da TVI foi um nojo com aqueles comentários off/on-record