(no subject)
If someone makes a stupid mistake, does it mean they have to keep on paying for it forever?
I think they do.
I think I did something so stupid and naive I deserve to be alone.
Sometimes I imagine his life now. I'm sitting alone at night, filling in puzzles, listening to sad songs and I imagine he must be fucking his wife right about now. I take out that picture they put in the paper (which I tore out and keep hidden at the bottom of my closet like some kinda psycho) and I look at his face. He seemed really, really happy. His wife too. She looked so pretty and nice.
She's a fucking ugly money-grabbing whore who probably only married him for the money. I hope by now she knows there isn't any. But she's sleeping next to him and I'm left feeling so sorry for myself it feels like I'm going to fall apart.
Did I ever even really love him? Is there even such a thing? I remember what it was like, how I felt inside and I think maybe there is. Just not for me. Cause I was stupid.