i melt everytime u look at me that way
man i havent updated in a while..im to lazy/cold to go outside and get my digital camera to add more pictures so ill try and do that 2morrow night..
I'm lonely..i hate that feeling..its been since may and i dont understand why i feel like this..i guess its cause slowly everyone around me is getting a bf or someone likes them and they like them back their just not doing anything about it..i just want that feeling of not completion because i dont need a guy to complete me..i guess i want that feeling that u cant describe..the feeling that makes u feel good whenever u see them..just that feeling u get..the indescribeable one..its not like im sad or anything i just feel lonely ..like a night like right now when i have time to think i think about the fact that i have no one that cares about me the way i want to be cared about..of course i have my friends who i love so much! but i just don thave that special someone to think about..to call when im upset..to drive over to their house and they'll drop what their doing to help me with what i need help with..someone to cuddle with when im feeling sad..just someone to be with..
This make me think of the past..and how stupid i was with some of the relationships ive had in the past..theres so many things that i could have done to make things better..call him more..wanting to hang out more..not listening to other people..thats the big one...listening ot other people but i think im pretty much over that..if i feel something for someone why should i listen to what others have to say..do they really impact my life?..if they really cared about me they would be happy with the decision i made and not care who im with but except him because i care about him..
I was so dumb in the past...i dont know what came over me but i really cared about some of the guys of the past..but i jsut couldnt see it at the time..i always thought i cared about kyle the most cause i had liked him on and off for so long..but right now i dont think thats the case..i think i just thought that..i did like him while we were together..but when i think about it i think it was for the best that we went out and broke up..id wanted to go out with him for a while and now that i did it ..i wouldnt go back and not do it but idk im glad i did it even though it ended up with me being hurt..im still glad me and him went out..
I hate thinking and thats what this journal does it gets me thinking about everything in my life..which is good but it also causes me heartache..i get all excited about stuff and then i get let down in the end..nothing ever really seems to go right i guess maybe ifi stop thinking about things and let them happen things will go better..
The song i melt..THAT is exactly how i want to feel about someone!!
I'm lonely..i hate that feeling..its been since may and i dont understand why i feel like this..i guess its cause slowly everyone around me is getting a bf or someone likes them and they like them back their just not doing anything about it..i just want that feeling of not completion because i dont need a guy to complete me..i guess i want that feeling that u cant describe..the feeling that makes u feel good whenever u see them..just that feeling u get..the indescribeable one..its not like im sad or anything i just feel lonely ..like a night like right now when i have time to think i think about the fact that i have no one that cares about me the way i want to be cared about..of course i have my friends who i love so much! but i just don thave that special someone to think about..to call when im upset..to drive over to their house and they'll drop what their doing to help me with what i need help with..someone to cuddle with when im feeling sad..just someone to be with..
This make me think of the past..and how stupid i was with some of the relationships ive had in the past..theres so many things that i could have done to make things better..call him more..wanting to hang out more..not listening to other people..thats the big one...listening ot other people but i think im pretty much over that..if i feel something for someone why should i listen to what others have to say..do they really impact my life?..if they really cared about me they would be happy with the decision i made and not care who im with but except him because i care about him..
I was so dumb in the past...i dont know what came over me but i really cared about some of the guys of the past..but i jsut couldnt see it at the time..i always thought i cared about kyle the most cause i had liked him on and off for so long..but right now i dont think thats the case..i think i just thought that..i did like him while we were together..but when i think about it i think it was for the best that we went out and broke up..id wanted to go out with him for a while and now that i did it ..i wouldnt go back and not do it but idk im glad i did it even though it ended up with me being hurt..im still glad me and him went out..
I hate thinking and thats what this journal does it gets me thinking about everything in my life..which is good but it also causes me heartache..i get all excited about stuff and then i get let down in the end..nothing ever really seems to go right i guess maybe ifi stop thinking about things and let them happen things will go better..
The song i melt..THAT is exactly how i want to feel about someone!!