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joancrawford

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Jul 11, 2002 22:16

Oh, Hello all! It's me, Joan Crawford, back from the dead as usual! I've been really busy here in hell, you wouldn't believe how time consuming eternity can be! I took a little break from signing autographs and whipping the backsides of heathenous Egyptian slaves to sit down in the throneroom on my IBook and update my lovely livejournal ( Read more... )

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laughingsal July 12 2002, 06:41:11 UTC

THRONE ROOM?!! An appropriate place for a DRAG Queen like yourself. They isolated you in that dank cave because noone down here in HELL could stand your awful STENCH!

Good luck getting work, you no-talent hag!

Yours,
Bette

Re: joancrawford July 12 2002, 11:15:23 UTC

HA! You won't be laughing so hard when my husband Baal comes knocking down your door with a sixty foot double dong with YOUR NAME ON IT, YOU AGE-OLD JOKE!

I don't see DOOM Magazine asking YOU for any interviews, now do I? They know true talent when they see it. At least I've got status here in hell, when all you've got is a worn-out 'moneymaker' and TWO BUG-EYES!

Your faithful friend,
J.C.

laughingsal July 12 2002, 11:53:21 UTC

BAAL?! I FUCKED Baal. By the way, he called you the WHORE of BABYLON and said your crotch stank like DECAYING FLESH and flat PEPSI.
I couldn't care less about your morbid curiosity PORN mags, you rancid media slattern.

I AM THE QUEEN OF HOLLYWOOD! HAW HAAAAAAAW!

accidenter February 1 2007, 03:17:42 UTC

omg omg go on popartagenda and let me know your top ten list of who you would "hit" yo

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Re: joancrawford July 12 2002, 15:59:04 UTC

BETTER TO BE THE WHORE OF BABYLON THAN JUST ANOTHER HUSSY FROM SODOM AND GAMMORAH!

Please say you will, oh pretty pretty please?! tinacrawford July 12 2002, 11:32:37 UTC

Dear Miss Bette,

I NEED YOUR HELP! I want to divorce that washed up hag of a wanna be mother.. she doesn't even love me, I'm just another one of her famous publicity stunts. The only vacationing I ever get is when I have to go shopping for her and pick her out a new pair of her shoes with the "fuck me" straps.

Also, I'm way too cute to be that... wretched woman, I should sooo be your dough-ter, so will you adopt me? I'm as sweet as a candy cane, teehee
I'll divorce that fart fucking herridan.

laughingsal July 15 2002, 05:56:36 UTC

I'd love to help you, dear, but my career is much too demanding. Between movies, interviews, appeasing my many adoring fans, who has time to look after a vomitous, lesbian problem child? Besides, unlike your no-talent, has-been whore of a mother, I don't need the publicity.

Yours,

Bette

archiedavis July 18 2002, 10:00:10 UTC

ladies, LADIES, please!

you can ALL have me!

laughingsal July 18 2002, 10:07:29 UTC

I'm sorry Mr. Davis, but my heart belongs to PEE-PAW. Only an experienced man like him knows how to...push my buttons...if you will. You can have that whore, Joan Crawford. I refuse to share anything with that maggot infested has-been.

Re: joancrawford July 18 2002, 10:33:37 UTC

And I refuse to share anything with YOU, seeing as how YOU'VE SHARED IT WITH EVERYONE IN HOLLYWOOD!!!!

Hate and Malice, J.C.

Re: archiedavis July 21 2002, 20:13:38 UTC

damn.

dont worry. its not the first time i have lost a lady to pee-paw.

accidenter February 1 2007, 03:18:06 UTC

omg omg go on popartagenda and let me know your top ten list of who you would "hit" yo

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