robotech fic- maeström
Author’s note: This is a Roy and Lisa fanfic, you are warned. If you don’t want to read this please don’t. I wrote this because I have always think that Roy is an awesome character and that he and Lisa will make a wonderful couple if it weren't for Claudia. In order for this fic to work Roy never died in the episode “Farwell Big Brother”
Reviews: I love reviews, they are what keeps me writing and is the only way I have to know if you like it or not this fic. So please try to send one even if it just one word.
To: Carla, thanks for helping me to develop this idea and for giving me the courage to write this.To Dwayne for being my beta again, without you I don't know what I'll do and to Feña.
Enjoy.....
Maelström
Chapter 11
“Take my hand”
Lisa was walking through the parking lot quickly, hoping that she might still have time to buy some coffee before her shift started. She had fallen asleep late last night, but for the first time lately it wasn't because she had been over thinking something, it was just because.
Actually last week had been a nice week for her. Things with Rick were back to “normal”, if you could call it that. They’d had coffee early in the week and just talked, shared some shifts together and yesterday she’d had lunch with him and Roy, who had been called back early this week from the Satellite. Lunch had been nice, weird, but nice.
She smiled to herself. It was weird being with the two of them at the same time; she felt like she couldn't be the way she usually was with Rick because Roy was there and the same thing happened the other way. Yes, it had been weird but not enough to make the lunch awkward.
“Where's the emergency?” a familiar voice asked at her back.
“Morning, Roy,” she said, slowing down her pace so he would catch up with her.
“Hi, Lisa,” he answered with a smile.
“Yes, coffee!” Lisa said with a huge smile and stole the mug of coffee from Roy's hands.
“Hey! That's mine!” Roy protested but Lisa was already taking a gulp of it.
“Sorry but I really needed some coffee. I fell asleep very late last night,” she said apologetically and when he gave her a concerned gaze she quickly explained. “I was watching a marathon of a TV show I like,” she added noticing how his expression went from skepticism to amusement.
“You?” he asked amused.
“Why is everyone surprised to know that I like to do things normal people do?” she asked, frustrated.
“Because, you are not normal,” Roy teased her and she punched him in the ribs. “Ouch!” he protested.
“Jerk,” she said crossing her arms across her chest in annoyance. “And you? Why are looking like you didn't sleep at all last night?”
“I got into a fight with the laundry machine,” Roy answered indifferently as he took a gulp of his coffee.
“You? Doing laundry?” she asked unable to not raise an eyebrow.
“I know, I didn't know what I was thinking! The evil thing started to throw up soap and water. It was hell! I unplugged it and it kept throwing up bubbles,” Roy said and frowned at the memory, making Lisa burst into laughter.
“I'm glad to know that I amuse you,” he said sarcastically.
“I'm sorry, it’s just that, you?” Lisa was saying and imagined him fighting with the laundry machine and started to laugh again.
“One thing is for sure, I won’t get near that thing ever again,” Roy stated.
“You better not,” Lisa said still trying to fight off the laughter.
“And here is where we split,” Roy said when they were at the entrance of the main RDF building.
“Yes we do, have a nice day.”
“You too,” Roy said and started to walk away.
“Wait, Roy!” Lisa's voice stopped him in his tracks. “Are you going to Dana's birthday?”
“No,” Roy answered with a frown, surprised she even asked him that.
“You are not?” Lisa asked disappointed.
“Hell, no! I don't like kids,” he said making a grimace.
“I know, it’s just that...”
“What? I thought you liked kids?”
“I do, what I don't like are moms. The place will be filled with moms talking about babies, and pregnant women are even worse,” Lisa said and grimaced too.
“More reason for me to not go. But hey the trio will go.”
“Yeah but they're all hyper planning the birthday. They won’t even notice I'll be there,” Lisa said and made a pause as she bit her lip. “It will be totally awkward to be the only single one there.”
“Isn't Rick going to since he is the godfather?”
“He's on shift and he can't skip it because he is covering Max.”
“There goes your luck,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “I'm sorry but there's no way in hell I'll go there.”
“Please?” she begged.
“I... don't look at me like that!” Roy complained.
“Come on,” she begged again.
“I'm sorry but no,” he said apologetically and then gave her a grin. “Besides it's not the end of the world! Grow up! Be a woman!”
“Ha! I could say the same thing to you,” Lisa said sarcastically.
“Yes you could, that doesn't mean I would listen to you,” he said and winked at her.
“Fine, I'll go alone. Thanks a lot for your help,” Lisa said pretending to be hurt.
“You’re welcome,” he said with his trademark mischievous grin, which caused Lisa to raise an eyebrow and walk away. “Oh come on! Don't be mad.”
Lisa just turned and gave him an annoyed glare and then turned her back to him again.
Lisa arrived late to Dana's first birthday in an attempt to diminish the torture. As she had predicted, Max and Miriya's small house was packed with young moms and a few pregnant women. Sammie, Kim and Vanessa were running from one place to the other without even noticing her. The few men that were in the place had taken cover in the back yard next to a small barbecue and she seriously pondered the idea of joining them. To her misfortune, Miriya caught her on her way there and dragged her to the center of a group of new moms who where exchanging tips about how to fight hiccups and change dippers fast.
“Lisa I'm so happy you came!” Miriya said to her and gave her a suffocating hug.
“Of course I came, you know I love Dana,” Lisa said.
“And she loves you,” Miriya said and turned to one of the new moms picked Dana up out of her hands. “Look who's here Dana.”
“Hi sweetie!” Lisa said and stretched her arms in the baby's direction and Dana did the same.
“She loves you for sure,” said the woman who had been holding the baby. Her voice sounded familiar to Lisa and the moment she looked at her she recognized her immediately.
“Jean! What are you doing here?” Lisa asked, happily surprised, and moved closer to her.
“I couldn't miss Dana's first birthday and the opportunity to see you,” Jean Grant answered.
“It's so great to see you. Is Vince here?” Lisa asked and turned around searching for him. “And Bowie?”
“Vince is outside with Bowie, they are glued together,” Jean said and smiled.
“It’s just like Dana and Max,” Miriya added.
“Are you?” Lisa asked to Dana who was playing with a lock of her hair and giggled at her question.
The three women kept talking for a while and then Jean went outside to check on Bowie and promised Lisa that she would bring him and Vince to see her; meanwhile Miriya went to talk with Sammie, who was waving at her from the other side of the living room. That left Lisa and Dana alone playing, detached from the rest of the people who were talking loudly.
“You seriously owe me, and believe me I will collect some day,” a voice said in Lisa's ear while leaving a huge present in front of Dana who was sitting on the floor with Lisa. “Happy birthday girl,” Roy said in a too serious tone that made Dana frown before she turned her attention to the present.
“You came!” Lisa said with a bright smile while Dana impatiently started to tear apart the wrapping of the present.
“Yeah,” Roy said with no enthusiasm and sat next to Lisa.
“Thanks,” Lisa said, still smiling and helping Dana.
“You will pay for this,” Roy said trying to look mad.
“I know. Still, thanks,” Lisa said ignoring his attempt to look mad. Roy rolled his eyes and paid attention to Dana. She noticed his glare and giggled at him, then she started to shake the box that contained her present happily.
“You bought her a scale Plane to build?” Lisa asked in disbelief when she could get a good look at Dana's present.
“Yes, why?” Roy asked looking at Lisa as if she had asked something totally senseless.
“Because she can choke on one of the pieces, and it's hardly a gift for a toddler,” Lisa answered giving him the same look he had given to her. “Why do I get the feeling that you bought the present more for you than for her?”
“I told you I don't know a thing about kids, I don't like them. I saw that in the kid's store and thought it was awesome. I would love to have one of those,” Roy said and shrugged his shoulders.
“I know you would,” Lisa said and tried to take the box from Dana's hands but she held onto it tightly.
“And apparently so does she,” Roy said trying to hide his amusement at the fact that the girl was holding the box with all her strength.
“Do I see a smile?” Lisa teased him, getting closer to him.
“No,” he lied.
“Really?”
“Really,” he challenged her getting even closer, grinning.
“Lisa?” a voiced called from the other side of the room, making them both jump away from each other. “Where are you?”
“Here!” Lisa said waving and then turned to Roy. “You are not going to believe who is here!”
“Who?” Roy said curiously as he stood up too.
“There you are!” Jean said and started to walk towards Lisa with Vince at her side.
The second Roy saw them his body tensed up completely. Lisa noticed the change in him immediately.
“Roy!” Jean said with enthusiasm when she saw him. “I never thought I'd see you here.”
“Hi Jean,” Roy said neutrally.
“Is that Roy Fokker or are my eyes fooling me?” Vince teased when he was near Roy, with Bowie tightly grabbed over his shoulders.
“It is me Vince,” Roy answered with the same dim voice. Lisa couldn't help looking at Roy out of the corner of her eye. She knew he and Vince were close friends so his behavior confused her.
“Hey there Vince,” Lisa said happily, trying make the weird air go away.
“Lisa!” Vince said with happiness.
“Oh my God, I can not believe that that big boy is Bowie!” Lisa said waving at the shy little boy.
“He will be as tall as his dad,” Vince said proudly.
“No kidding!” Lisa said and everyone laughed except Roy.
“How are you Roy?” Vince asked turning to face him.
“I'm fine, you?”
“I'm fine too, working a lot but I guess we all are.”
“Yes we are,” Roy said.
“Are you planing on staying long?” Lisa asked
“Not much, I spend more time in Monument City working with the ground forces.”
“I know, I just wish I could see you both more often,” Lisa said and noticed that Roy had taken a step back from the group, still in a defensive posture.
“If you’ll excuse me,” Roy said and moved his pager, avoiding Lisa's gaze
“Sure, go ahead.” Vince said and Jean moved faster than Roy and gave him a hug. Lisa could see how Roy was fighting the urge to push her away, making her even more concerned about him.
“It's so good to see you again Roy. Try to stay in touch okay?”
“I will,” Roy said and started to walk away. Lisa looked at him walking away quickly, still tense. She knew the pager thing was a lie, he wasn't on call. He had just been desperate to get away from there. She thought about going after him, but she figured that he would probably want to be alone. Still, she didn’t like seeing him like that so she would call him later.
Lisa stayed at the birthday until Dana blew out her first candle and made a mess with the cake in the process, then she excused herself and left the party feeling exhausted. She never imagined how tiring these things could be, but at least it hadn't been as bad as she had expected, mostly because she was too happy to see Vince and Jean again. That remind her about Roy. She called him on his cell but it went straight to voice mail, worrying her even more. His reaction had been so odd.
A loud thump woke up Lisa, making her jump in the bed and she instinctively reached out for the drawer in her night table that held her sidearm. She looked at the clock next to her and saw that it was past 3 am. Was she having a nightmare? she asked to herself and then a new hard knock against her front door wakened her completely. Who could it be? she wondered before getting up. She stopped and looked at her gun drawer again, but she shook away the idea just when another knock hit her front door.
She opened the door by the time the knocks had practically stopped. “Who's there?” she asked in a harsh voice and focused her gaze trying to distinguish who was the owner of the back that was at her front door.
The person slowly turned to face her, clumsily holding itself to the door frame in an effort to stay still.
“Roy?” Lisa asked with surprise when she was able to distinguish his face in the dim light provided by the streetlights.
“I'm sorry,” Roy stuttered. “I shouldn't, I shouldn't have come.”
“What happened to you?” Lisa said and moved a step closer to him, but he stepped back almost violently.
“I better go,” he said and turned again determined to leave but she stopped him.
“No,” she said strongly. “You are not going anywhere,” she said and pushed him inside her house and turned on the lights.
“I didn't mean to, I really should go.” Roy was saying as he stumbled against the walls of the hall.
“Good God Roy you smell like a distillery. What the hell happened to you?” Lisa asked, concerned when she looked at him under the light. He was literally a walking mess: his clothes looked unfit, his hair was all tangled and his eyes were deep red.
“I was just trying to blow some steam off you know, I stopped at this bar... can't remember its name, a low life bar...”
“No kidding, I just needed to smell you to know that,” Lisa said disapprovingly. She knew she should be angry at him, but there was something in the way he looked that made her feel helpless.
“Do I smell that bad?” he asked and tried to smell himself.
“Roy what are you doing here?”
“I honestly don't know. I was going home, how I hate my house...” he was about to say something else but stopped. “Can I use your bathroom? I really need to pee,” he said suddenly.
“Sure,” Lisa said with a frown, following him with her eyes as he walked inside her bedroom. She waited for him for a few minutes in the living room and then moved to the kitchen to make some coffee. She was half the way there when she heard the shower run.
“What the...” she didn't finish the sentence and ran to the bathroom. The door was opened and the steam had already started to fill the room. “Roy what the hell are you doing?” she asked turning her back to the bathroom.
“Taking a shower, you said I smelled.”
“Yes I did, but I didn't mean...” she didn't finish what she wanted to say and just gave up. It was useless to try to reason with him in the state he was in. She left the room and went to the kitchen again and waited there for as long as she could, but the shower kept running.
“Roy, are you okay?” Lisa asked concerned from outside the bathroom.
“I saw Vince today,” was the answer she got. And the tone in his voice made her heart shrink.
“I know, I was there,” was all that she could think of as an answer to him.
“I haven't seen him... not since her funeral,” Roy's dim voice arrived to her as the shower went off.
“Neither have I,” Lisa said softly and with worry. He remain silent inside the bathroom and then the door opened. Lisa turned to face him but the minute she saw him only with a towel tied around his waist she turned back again.
“I hate him,” Roy said with pain and anger.
The anger in his voice showed her nothing more than the pain he was feeling, so she turned to face him with kind eyes. “Why?” she asked softly.
“Because... I hate him,” Roy said resentfully. “And I hate kids! They are annoying and loud, and whiny and useless, they are totally useless!” he added with anger.
“Roy...” Lisa started but he interrupted her.
“She always wanted one, you know,” he didn't finish, he just fixed his gaze on the ground.
“I know,” Lisa said quietly waiting for his reaction. She wanted to move closer to him and hold him but not daring to.
“But I didn't. And I... I made her miss that,” Roy said with sorrow.
“Roy,” Lisa said, his pain reflected in her voice. She moved closer to him and put a tender hand on his arm, trying to comfort him.
“I was fine,” he said stubbornly. “I was fine but he had to show up with his “perfect” family and remind me of what she always wanted and now everything is... is not fine.”
Lisa wanted to say something, to tell him that things would be fine again, that she would help him to make things fine again but she couldn't find the words.
“I'm sinking again Lisa, I'm sinking and all I could think of was you,” he said desperately and went to pieces in front of her. Lisa reacted just in time and held him. His entire weight fell over her and she was barely able to hold him without falling with him to the ground. “I don't want to hit the bottom again, don't...”
“I won't let you Roy, I won't,” she said, holding him with all her strength. “I'm here.”
He believed her. He knew she wouldn't let him drown, that she would protect him. He knew that he could fall apart and she would keep the pieces together. So he surrendered. He had fought the cracks all day and now, in her arms, he would aloud himself to break. He held her tight and started to shudder, sobbing uncontrollably as the tears ran free until he had no strength left.
He was exhausted, spent, all his senses started to shut down and the last thing he was aware of was her warm breath against his neck saying his name.
She managed somehow to drag him to her bed, and she let him fall onto it and covered him gently. She watched him laying there, so peaceful and broken at the same time. She very carefully stroke some locks of his wet hair out of his face.
“I won't let you drown, I promise,” she said quietly and with a determination that surprised her.
Why did she feet so protective of him? She didn't know. What she knew was that she wished there was something she could do for him. If only she could glue his pieces back together and spare him the pain she had suffered once, when she had lost Karl. But there was nothing she could do and that hurt her. Slowly and carefully she made sure that he was well covered and turned off the lights.
She went to the bathroom, trying to make no sound as she picked up all his clothes and put them in the laundry machine. Then she returned to the bedroom, where she sat in a chair on the other side of the room and covered herself with a blanket as she guarded Roy's sleep.
Roy felt a door close and woke up in a jump, trying to adjust his eyes and figure out where he was. The first thing he noticed was that he was naked. The second was that his head was spinning. Had he ended up in some motel room with a random girl again? He asked himself, but the place felt too warm to be a motel. He looked to his side and noticed that the bed was perfectly made; no one had slept next to him.
He pressed his temples trying to make the room stop spinning and then he remembered. He gave another jump and looked around. A picture on the night table next to him confirmed his suspicions. A smiley Lisa, with the arm of some guy he only knew by name around her, was looking at him.
“Crap!” he said and jumped out of the bed too fast for his equilibrium to adjust and collided against the night table and threw all the things that were on it to the floor. He cursed again and picked up the towel that he was wearing last night and tied it against his waist. Once he had picked everything up and replaced them on the night, he dared to inspect the room again; in a chair in front of the bed were all his clothes, clean and folded. He dressed quickly and fearfully walked outside the room when he was ready.
The strong smell of coffee filled the house and he walked in that direction. The coffee machine was on and next to it were a mug and a bottle of aspirins. He couldn't help smiling at that. He poured himself some coffee and rested his weight against the counter- she hadn't let him drown.
Lisa was walking through the engine room of the SDF-2 with a group of engineers, checking on how the new engines were working and how much progress they had made since the last inspection. She had already finished and was asking some technical questions to one of them when a strong hand held her arm.
“Can I talk to you?” Roy's voice asked softly.
“Sure,” Lisa said normally and then turned to the engineer. “I think that will be all for today. Everything looks fine and I'll be very glad to tell the Admiral that things will be ready as scheduled.”
“Thanks, Ma'am” the man said and gave his back to Lisa.
“Can we… go to a more private place?” Roy asked.
“Of course, this way,” Lisa said and started to walk away. She stopped when they were near some ventilation ducts away from everyone.
“I wanted to apologize for last night,” he said and cleared his throat. “I shouldn't have...”
“It's okay,” Lisa said calmly.
“No, it's not okay. I stormed into your house at 3 in the morning. I was drunk, I even passed out. So please don't tell me it's okay,” he said in shame.
“It's not, but you don't need to explain,” she said with a warm smile, but he kept frowning, still ashamed by his behavior.
“I do, I feel so ashamed. I know you understand me but that's no excuse for...”
“Roy, listen to me. I told you last night that I was here and I'll be here whenever you need me. I don't need explanations,” she said and moved closer to him. “I'm here and I won't let you fall,” she added and placed her hand tenderly in his face.
He closed his eyes and rested his head against her palm. It had been so long since someone had touched him with such tenderness that he had to grab her hand with his and keep it against his cheek just to be sure it wouldn't disappear.
“I...”
“You don't need to say anything,” she said as she searched for his eyes, which were still closed.
Slowly he started to open his eyes, and the first thing he encountered were her eyes, looking at him tenderly and protectively. He held her hand strongly, and looked straight into her eyes, trying to tell her that way that he would protect her too if she needed him, that he would be there for her and that he would do anything to prevent her sorrows.
Lisa felt her heart skip a beat. His piercing blue eyes were so intently fixed on hers, so full of emotion and caring for her that she felt her knee tremble. It was breathtaking, literally, because she found herself too mesmerized to breath.
“Thanks,” was all that he said before letting her hand go. She slowly reacted to that and brought her hand closer to her side.
The moment they broke physical contact the whole situation turned awkward. Lisa looked at the ground and Roy put his hands in his pockets and started to look around, as if he was studying the place. And then to their good luck Lisa's pager started to beep. She quickly took it into her hands and was checking it when Roy's pager started to beep too.
“This must be serious,” Roy said studying his.
“I hope it's not an attack,” Lisa said as she started to head to the closest exit.
They both left the engine room as fast as they could. They shared one more gaze and quickly smiled before they started to run again in their respective directions, one to the bridge and the other to airfield.
To be continued....
author's note: I don't know if I mention this before but most of the chapter titles are from songs, this one is from Dido, the song is obviously take my hand ;) I'll be waiting for the reviews plz!
Reviews: I love reviews, they are what keeps me writing and is the only way I have to know if you like it or not this fic. So please try to send one even if it just one word.
To: Carla, thanks for helping me to develop this idea and for giving me the courage to write this.To Dwayne for being my beta again, without you I don't know what I'll do and to Feña.
Enjoy.....
Maelström
Chapter 11
“Take my hand”
Lisa was walking through the parking lot quickly, hoping that she might still have time to buy some coffee before her shift started. She had fallen asleep late last night, but for the first time lately it wasn't because she had been over thinking something, it was just because.
Actually last week had been a nice week for her. Things with Rick were back to “normal”, if you could call it that. They’d had coffee early in the week and just talked, shared some shifts together and yesterday she’d had lunch with him and Roy, who had been called back early this week from the Satellite. Lunch had been nice, weird, but nice.
She smiled to herself. It was weird being with the two of them at the same time; she felt like she couldn't be the way she usually was with Rick because Roy was there and the same thing happened the other way. Yes, it had been weird but not enough to make the lunch awkward.
“Where's the emergency?” a familiar voice asked at her back.
“Morning, Roy,” she said, slowing down her pace so he would catch up with her.
“Hi, Lisa,” he answered with a smile.
“Yes, coffee!” Lisa said with a huge smile and stole the mug of coffee from Roy's hands.
“Hey! That's mine!” Roy protested but Lisa was already taking a gulp of it.
“Sorry but I really needed some coffee. I fell asleep very late last night,” she said apologetically and when he gave her a concerned gaze she quickly explained. “I was watching a marathon of a TV show I like,” she added noticing how his expression went from skepticism to amusement.
“You?” he asked amused.
“Why is everyone surprised to know that I like to do things normal people do?” she asked, frustrated.
“Because, you are not normal,” Roy teased her and she punched him in the ribs. “Ouch!” he protested.
“Jerk,” she said crossing her arms across her chest in annoyance. “And you? Why are looking like you didn't sleep at all last night?”
“I got into a fight with the laundry machine,” Roy answered indifferently as he took a gulp of his coffee.
“You? Doing laundry?” she asked unable to not raise an eyebrow.
“I know, I didn't know what I was thinking! The evil thing started to throw up soap and water. It was hell! I unplugged it and it kept throwing up bubbles,” Roy said and frowned at the memory, making Lisa burst into laughter.
“I'm glad to know that I amuse you,” he said sarcastically.
“I'm sorry, it’s just that, you?” Lisa was saying and imagined him fighting with the laundry machine and started to laugh again.
“One thing is for sure, I won’t get near that thing ever again,” Roy stated.
“You better not,” Lisa said still trying to fight off the laughter.
“And here is where we split,” Roy said when they were at the entrance of the main RDF building.
“Yes we do, have a nice day.”
“You too,” Roy said and started to walk away.
“Wait, Roy!” Lisa's voice stopped him in his tracks. “Are you going to Dana's birthday?”
“No,” Roy answered with a frown, surprised she even asked him that.
“You are not?” Lisa asked disappointed.
“Hell, no! I don't like kids,” he said making a grimace.
“I know, it’s just that...”
“What? I thought you liked kids?”
“I do, what I don't like are moms. The place will be filled with moms talking about babies, and pregnant women are even worse,” Lisa said and grimaced too.
“More reason for me to not go. But hey the trio will go.”
“Yeah but they're all hyper planning the birthday. They won’t even notice I'll be there,” Lisa said and made a pause as she bit her lip. “It will be totally awkward to be the only single one there.”
“Isn't Rick going to since he is the godfather?”
“He's on shift and he can't skip it because he is covering Max.”
“There goes your luck,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “I'm sorry but there's no way in hell I'll go there.”
“Please?” she begged.
“I... don't look at me like that!” Roy complained.
“Come on,” she begged again.
“I'm sorry but no,” he said apologetically and then gave her a grin. “Besides it's not the end of the world! Grow up! Be a woman!”
“Ha! I could say the same thing to you,” Lisa said sarcastically.
“Yes you could, that doesn't mean I would listen to you,” he said and winked at her.
“Fine, I'll go alone. Thanks a lot for your help,” Lisa said pretending to be hurt.
“You’re welcome,” he said with his trademark mischievous grin, which caused Lisa to raise an eyebrow and walk away. “Oh come on! Don't be mad.”
Lisa just turned and gave him an annoyed glare and then turned her back to him again.
Lisa arrived late to Dana's first birthday in an attempt to diminish the torture. As she had predicted, Max and Miriya's small house was packed with young moms and a few pregnant women. Sammie, Kim and Vanessa were running from one place to the other without even noticing her. The few men that were in the place had taken cover in the back yard next to a small barbecue and she seriously pondered the idea of joining them. To her misfortune, Miriya caught her on her way there and dragged her to the center of a group of new moms who where exchanging tips about how to fight hiccups and change dippers fast.
“Lisa I'm so happy you came!” Miriya said to her and gave her a suffocating hug.
“Of course I came, you know I love Dana,” Lisa said.
“And she loves you,” Miriya said and turned to one of the new moms picked Dana up out of her hands. “Look who's here Dana.”
“Hi sweetie!” Lisa said and stretched her arms in the baby's direction and Dana did the same.
“She loves you for sure,” said the woman who had been holding the baby. Her voice sounded familiar to Lisa and the moment she looked at her she recognized her immediately.
“Jean! What are you doing here?” Lisa asked, happily surprised, and moved closer to her.
“I couldn't miss Dana's first birthday and the opportunity to see you,” Jean Grant answered.
“It's so great to see you. Is Vince here?” Lisa asked and turned around searching for him. “And Bowie?”
“Vince is outside with Bowie, they are glued together,” Jean said and smiled.
“It’s just like Dana and Max,” Miriya added.
“Are you?” Lisa asked to Dana who was playing with a lock of her hair and giggled at her question.
The three women kept talking for a while and then Jean went outside to check on Bowie and promised Lisa that she would bring him and Vince to see her; meanwhile Miriya went to talk with Sammie, who was waving at her from the other side of the living room. That left Lisa and Dana alone playing, detached from the rest of the people who were talking loudly.
“You seriously owe me, and believe me I will collect some day,” a voice said in Lisa's ear while leaving a huge present in front of Dana who was sitting on the floor with Lisa. “Happy birthday girl,” Roy said in a too serious tone that made Dana frown before she turned her attention to the present.
“You came!” Lisa said with a bright smile while Dana impatiently started to tear apart the wrapping of the present.
“Yeah,” Roy said with no enthusiasm and sat next to Lisa.
“Thanks,” Lisa said, still smiling and helping Dana.
“You will pay for this,” Roy said trying to look mad.
“I know. Still, thanks,” Lisa said ignoring his attempt to look mad. Roy rolled his eyes and paid attention to Dana. She noticed his glare and giggled at him, then she started to shake the box that contained her present happily.
“You bought her a scale Plane to build?” Lisa asked in disbelief when she could get a good look at Dana's present.
“Yes, why?” Roy asked looking at Lisa as if she had asked something totally senseless.
“Because she can choke on one of the pieces, and it's hardly a gift for a toddler,” Lisa answered giving him the same look he had given to her. “Why do I get the feeling that you bought the present more for you than for her?”
“I told you I don't know a thing about kids, I don't like them. I saw that in the kid's store and thought it was awesome. I would love to have one of those,” Roy said and shrugged his shoulders.
“I know you would,” Lisa said and tried to take the box from Dana's hands but she held onto it tightly.
“And apparently so does she,” Roy said trying to hide his amusement at the fact that the girl was holding the box with all her strength.
“Do I see a smile?” Lisa teased him, getting closer to him.
“No,” he lied.
“Really?”
“Really,” he challenged her getting even closer, grinning.
“Lisa?” a voiced called from the other side of the room, making them both jump away from each other. “Where are you?”
“Here!” Lisa said waving and then turned to Roy. “You are not going to believe who is here!”
“Who?” Roy said curiously as he stood up too.
“There you are!” Jean said and started to walk towards Lisa with Vince at her side.
The second Roy saw them his body tensed up completely. Lisa noticed the change in him immediately.
“Roy!” Jean said with enthusiasm when she saw him. “I never thought I'd see you here.”
“Hi Jean,” Roy said neutrally.
“Is that Roy Fokker or are my eyes fooling me?” Vince teased when he was near Roy, with Bowie tightly grabbed over his shoulders.
“It is me Vince,” Roy answered with the same dim voice. Lisa couldn't help looking at Roy out of the corner of her eye. She knew he and Vince were close friends so his behavior confused her.
“Hey there Vince,” Lisa said happily, trying make the weird air go away.
“Lisa!” Vince said with happiness.
“Oh my God, I can not believe that that big boy is Bowie!” Lisa said waving at the shy little boy.
“He will be as tall as his dad,” Vince said proudly.
“No kidding!” Lisa said and everyone laughed except Roy.
“How are you Roy?” Vince asked turning to face him.
“I'm fine, you?”
“I'm fine too, working a lot but I guess we all are.”
“Yes we are,” Roy said.
“Are you planing on staying long?” Lisa asked
“Not much, I spend more time in Monument City working with the ground forces.”
“I know, I just wish I could see you both more often,” Lisa said and noticed that Roy had taken a step back from the group, still in a defensive posture.
“If you’ll excuse me,” Roy said and moved his pager, avoiding Lisa's gaze
“Sure, go ahead.” Vince said and Jean moved faster than Roy and gave him a hug. Lisa could see how Roy was fighting the urge to push her away, making her even more concerned about him.
“It's so good to see you again Roy. Try to stay in touch okay?”
“I will,” Roy said and started to walk away. Lisa looked at him walking away quickly, still tense. She knew the pager thing was a lie, he wasn't on call. He had just been desperate to get away from there. She thought about going after him, but she figured that he would probably want to be alone. Still, she didn’t like seeing him like that so she would call him later.
Lisa stayed at the birthday until Dana blew out her first candle and made a mess with the cake in the process, then she excused herself and left the party feeling exhausted. She never imagined how tiring these things could be, but at least it hadn't been as bad as she had expected, mostly because she was too happy to see Vince and Jean again. That remind her about Roy. She called him on his cell but it went straight to voice mail, worrying her even more. His reaction had been so odd.
A loud thump woke up Lisa, making her jump in the bed and she instinctively reached out for the drawer in her night table that held her sidearm. She looked at the clock next to her and saw that it was past 3 am. Was she having a nightmare? she asked to herself and then a new hard knock against her front door wakened her completely. Who could it be? she wondered before getting up. She stopped and looked at her gun drawer again, but she shook away the idea just when another knock hit her front door.
She opened the door by the time the knocks had practically stopped. “Who's there?” she asked in a harsh voice and focused her gaze trying to distinguish who was the owner of the back that was at her front door.
The person slowly turned to face her, clumsily holding itself to the door frame in an effort to stay still.
“Roy?” Lisa asked with surprise when she was able to distinguish his face in the dim light provided by the streetlights.
“I'm sorry,” Roy stuttered. “I shouldn't, I shouldn't have come.”
“What happened to you?” Lisa said and moved a step closer to him, but he stepped back almost violently.
“I better go,” he said and turned again determined to leave but she stopped him.
“No,” she said strongly. “You are not going anywhere,” she said and pushed him inside her house and turned on the lights.
“I didn't mean to, I really should go.” Roy was saying as he stumbled against the walls of the hall.
“Good God Roy you smell like a distillery. What the hell happened to you?” Lisa asked, concerned when she looked at him under the light. He was literally a walking mess: his clothes looked unfit, his hair was all tangled and his eyes were deep red.
“I was just trying to blow some steam off you know, I stopped at this bar... can't remember its name, a low life bar...”
“No kidding, I just needed to smell you to know that,” Lisa said disapprovingly. She knew she should be angry at him, but there was something in the way he looked that made her feel helpless.
“Do I smell that bad?” he asked and tried to smell himself.
“Roy what are you doing here?”
“I honestly don't know. I was going home, how I hate my house...” he was about to say something else but stopped. “Can I use your bathroom? I really need to pee,” he said suddenly.
“Sure,” Lisa said with a frown, following him with her eyes as he walked inside her bedroom. She waited for him for a few minutes in the living room and then moved to the kitchen to make some coffee. She was half the way there when she heard the shower run.
“What the...” she didn't finish the sentence and ran to the bathroom. The door was opened and the steam had already started to fill the room. “Roy what the hell are you doing?” she asked turning her back to the bathroom.
“Taking a shower, you said I smelled.”
“Yes I did, but I didn't mean...” she didn't finish what she wanted to say and just gave up. It was useless to try to reason with him in the state he was in. She left the room and went to the kitchen again and waited there for as long as she could, but the shower kept running.
“Roy, are you okay?” Lisa asked concerned from outside the bathroom.
“I saw Vince today,” was the answer she got. And the tone in his voice made her heart shrink.
“I know, I was there,” was all that she could think of as an answer to him.
“I haven't seen him... not since her funeral,” Roy's dim voice arrived to her as the shower went off.
“Neither have I,” Lisa said softly and with worry. He remain silent inside the bathroom and then the door opened. Lisa turned to face him but the minute she saw him only with a towel tied around his waist she turned back again.
“I hate him,” Roy said with pain and anger.
The anger in his voice showed her nothing more than the pain he was feeling, so she turned to face him with kind eyes. “Why?” she asked softly.
“Because... I hate him,” Roy said resentfully. “And I hate kids! They are annoying and loud, and whiny and useless, they are totally useless!” he added with anger.
“Roy...” Lisa started but he interrupted her.
“She always wanted one, you know,” he didn't finish, he just fixed his gaze on the ground.
“I know,” Lisa said quietly waiting for his reaction. She wanted to move closer to him and hold him but not daring to.
“But I didn't. And I... I made her miss that,” Roy said with sorrow.
“Roy,” Lisa said, his pain reflected in her voice. She moved closer to him and put a tender hand on his arm, trying to comfort him.
“I was fine,” he said stubbornly. “I was fine but he had to show up with his “perfect” family and remind me of what she always wanted and now everything is... is not fine.”
Lisa wanted to say something, to tell him that things would be fine again, that she would help him to make things fine again but she couldn't find the words.
“I'm sinking again Lisa, I'm sinking and all I could think of was you,” he said desperately and went to pieces in front of her. Lisa reacted just in time and held him. His entire weight fell over her and she was barely able to hold him without falling with him to the ground. “I don't want to hit the bottom again, don't...”
“I won't let you Roy, I won't,” she said, holding him with all her strength. “I'm here.”
He believed her. He knew she wouldn't let him drown, that she would protect him. He knew that he could fall apart and she would keep the pieces together. So he surrendered. He had fought the cracks all day and now, in her arms, he would aloud himself to break. He held her tight and started to shudder, sobbing uncontrollably as the tears ran free until he had no strength left.
He was exhausted, spent, all his senses started to shut down and the last thing he was aware of was her warm breath against his neck saying his name.
She managed somehow to drag him to her bed, and she let him fall onto it and covered him gently. She watched him laying there, so peaceful and broken at the same time. She very carefully stroke some locks of his wet hair out of his face.
“I won't let you drown, I promise,” she said quietly and with a determination that surprised her.
Why did she feet so protective of him? She didn't know. What she knew was that she wished there was something she could do for him. If only she could glue his pieces back together and spare him the pain she had suffered once, when she had lost Karl. But there was nothing she could do and that hurt her. Slowly and carefully she made sure that he was well covered and turned off the lights.
She went to the bathroom, trying to make no sound as she picked up all his clothes and put them in the laundry machine. Then she returned to the bedroom, where she sat in a chair on the other side of the room and covered herself with a blanket as she guarded Roy's sleep.
Roy felt a door close and woke up in a jump, trying to adjust his eyes and figure out where he was. The first thing he noticed was that he was naked. The second was that his head was spinning. Had he ended up in some motel room with a random girl again? He asked himself, but the place felt too warm to be a motel. He looked to his side and noticed that the bed was perfectly made; no one had slept next to him.
He pressed his temples trying to make the room stop spinning and then he remembered. He gave another jump and looked around. A picture on the night table next to him confirmed his suspicions. A smiley Lisa, with the arm of some guy he only knew by name around her, was looking at him.
“Crap!” he said and jumped out of the bed too fast for his equilibrium to adjust and collided against the night table and threw all the things that were on it to the floor. He cursed again and picked up the towel that he was wearing last night and tied it against his waist. Once he had picked everything up and replaced them on the night, he dared to inspect the room again; in a chair in front of the bed were all his clothes, clean and folded. He dressed quickly and fearfully walked outside the room when he was ready.
The strong smell of coffee filled the house and he walked in that direction. The coffee machine was on and next to it were a mug and a bottle of aspirins. He couldn't help smiling at that. He poured himself some coffee and rested his weight against the counter- she hadn't let him drown.
Lisa was walking through the engine room of the SDF-2 with a group of engineers, checking on how the new engines were working and how much progress they had made since the last inspection. She had already finished and was asking some technical questions to one of them when a strong hand held her arm.
“Can I talk to you?” Roy's voice asked softly.
“Sure,” Lisa said normally and then turned to the engineer. “I think that will be all for today. Everything looks fine and I'll be very glad to tell the Admiral that things will be ready as scheduled.”
“Thanks, Ma'am” the man said and gave his back to Lisa.
“Can we… go to a more private place?” Roy asked.
“Of course, this way,” Lisa said and started to walk away. She stopped when they were near some ventilation ducts away from everyone.
“I wanted to apologize for last night,” he said and cleared his throat. “I shouldn't have...”
“It's okay,” Lisa said calmly.
“No, it's not okay. I stormed into your house at 3 in the morning. I was drunk, I even passed out. So please don't tell me it's okay,” he said in shame.
“It's not, but you don't need to explain,” she said with a warm smile, but he kept frowning, still ashamed by his behavior.
“I do, I feel so ashamed. I know you understand me but that's no excuse for...”
“Roy, listen to me. I told you last night that I was here and I'll be here whenever you need me. I don't need explanations,” she said and moved closer to him. “I'm here and I won't let you fall,” she added and placed her hand tenderly in his face.
He closed his eyes and rested his head against her palm. It had been so long since someone had touched him with such tenderness that he had to grab her hand with his and keep it against his cheek just to be sure it wouldn't disappear.
“I...”
“You don't need to say anything,” she said as she searched for his eyes, which were still closed.
Slowly he started to open his eyes, and the first thing he encountered were her eyes, looking at him tenderly and protectively. He held her hand strongly, and looked straight into her eyes, trying to tell her that way that he would protect her too if she needed him, that he would be there for her and that he would do anything to prevent her sorrows.
Lisa felt her heart skip a beat. His piercing blue eyes were so intently fixed on hers, so full of emotion and caring for her that she felt her knee tremble. It was breathtaking, literally, because she found herself too mesmerized to breath.
“Thanks,” was all that he said before letting her hand go. She slowly reacted to that and brought her hand closer to her side.
The moment they broke physical contact the whole situation turned awkward. Lisa looked at the ground and Roy put his hands in his pockets and started to look around, as if he was studying the place. And then to their good luck Lisa's pager started to beep. She quickly took it into her hands and was checking it when Roy's pager started to beep too.
“This must be serious,” Roy said studying his.
“I hope it's not an attack,” Lisa said as she started to head to the closest exit.
They both left the engine room as fast as they could. They shared one more gaze and quickly smiled before they started to run again in their respective directions, one to the bridge and the other to airfield.
To be continued....
author's note: I don't know if I mention this before but most of the chapter titles are from songs, this one is from Dido, the song is obviously take my hand ;) I'll be waiting for the reviews plz!