Promises, part 9
Title: Promises (renamed - used to be promises made, promises broken)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, fluff in places, violence some places also.
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, some Tosh/Owen later
Summary: Jack is back, but why did he leave in the first place? Promises broken and promises made. Shock, horror and surprises make Jack wonder about his own immortality power.
Warnings: as I mentioned… some smut … and also some violence… angst and some fluffy bits.
i have also rewritten some of the scenes in 1-4, it doesnt matter if you dont read the rewrite but if you want to or havent read before you can
Part 1 is HERE --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/1956.html
Part 2 is HERE --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/2108.html
Part 3 is HERE --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/2508.html
Part 4 is HERE --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/2709.html
Part 5 is HEREà http://jo19844.livejournal.com/2826.html
part 6 is HERE http://jo19844.livejournal.com/?skip=2
part 7 is HERE http://jo19844.livejournal.com/?skip=1
Part 8 HERE http://jo19844.livejournal.com/
Owen had guided Toshiko through the bar with his hand on the small of her back; it had been crowded and it took them a few minutes to finally find a table away from the hustle and bustle. They had only had one drink before they decided to go somewhere quieter where they could talk; Toshiko’s flat seemed the best choice, it was closest and her neighbors were a little more relaxed than Owen’s.
“It’s been ages since I’ve been in here,” Owen said as he slumped himself down on her sofa, shrugging his jacket from his shoulders.
“You were here on my birthday,” Tosh commented, “in July.”
“Yeah, I remember that,” Owen smiled, thanking her with a nod for the drink that rapidly appeared in his hand, “that was a good night.”
“It was a lot of fun.”
“I can't believe you still don’t have a TV though,” Owen said, pointing over to the corner where a computer rested on a tidy desk, “ it would fit nicely over there.”
“I don’t have time for TV in this job.”
“Or friends,” Owen added, “or anything apart from the job.”
“And look where it gets you,” she sighed taking a drink from her glass, “lying cold on a slab with a gaping hole where your abdomen used to be.”
“Or worse.”
“What could be worse?”
“Watching it happen,” Owen said, staring down at his drink, “you could watch it happen and know that no matter what you do, you just can't help.”
Tosh watched him for a moment and moved closer beside him, she opened her mouth many times, trying to search for the words.
“You cant save everyone,” she said finally, “it doesn't matter how much you train, or how good you are; you can't save everyone.”
“I just froze,” Owen sighed, turning his face to look at her, “he was ling there covered in blood, Jack was begging me to help him and i just - i froze Tosh. I lost it,i lost the ability to see what i could do.”
“I've seen his injuries, there is nothing you could have done to save him.”
“But its not right!” Owen shouted, getting up and pacing across her floor, “I'm the doctor here, I'm the one who fixes people when they're broken and i couldn't, i couldn't fix him Tosh. I had to watch him die-- he was in all that pain and he looked so scared. There was nothing i could do, there was no way to take away his pain.”
“Stop it,” Tosh ordered, walking up beside him and stopping him, “stop torturing yourself; this isn't your fault.”
“I know but--”
“No but's.”
“What am i meant to do?” he asked, feeling his composure slowly slip away as he placed his hands on her shoulders, leaning against her, resting his head against hers, “how am i meant to walk into work tomorrow and sit at my desk and work away like nothing happened. How can I look at Jack and know that all hes thinking about is how he's alone without him and its my fault because i couldn't do my job?”
“You've got this all wrong,” she said, “you tried.”
“I failed.”
“But you did try,” she told him, catching him when he fell, wrapping his arms around her and burying his head into her shoulder.
“You're home early,” Rhys said, looking over at Gwen when she walked through the door and shut it slowly, “I never usually see you before dark, i was starting to think you were a vampire or something.”
“W--what?” she asked, shaking her thoughts out of her head and looking at him.
“Vampires! You know because you leave in the dark and you come home in the dark, like the things on Buffy, although I would imagine that in real life they don't look anything like that bloke on bones.”
“I don't know what you're talking about, Rhys.”
“You never do, because you never listen, you're always so out of it I may as well not exist,” Ryhs complained.
“Is this pick on Gwen day?”
“What?”
“Is it pick on Gwen day today because if so I've been told that I'm not focused enough and that I'm selfish, now you're telling me i don't listen. Well you can sop the fucking festivities because I've just about had enough of everything!”
“Work's in the shitter again then?”
“Yeah, i had a bad day.”
“Well whatever it is i don't really care for once, I'd just like to take advantage of my girlfriend being home before dark and use this rare daylight sighting as an excuse to take her out; theres a great new film on in town, i saw the adverts on telly today. Lots of blood and gore, i thought we could follow it up with a curry and a pint.”
“No thanks,” Gwen sighed, “I've had enough blood and gore for one day.”
“What happened?”
“Did i ever tell you about Ianto?”
“Ianto? Doesn't ring a bell, why?”
“He's dead,” she told him and Rhys moved towards her without removing the oven gloves from his shoulder, and hugged her tightly, “he's twenty six and now he's dead.”
“What happened?”
“Stabbed.”
“See thats why i hate your job, it's too dangerous.”
“He's not even a field worker,” she explained, “he's the general support, he files reports and does our research; he makes our coffee. He's not meant to--”
“Were you close?”
“No,” Gwen said, slumping down on a seat, “that's why i feel so bad, I was kind of oblivious to him half the time, he just slipped in and out without me noticing. Jack was closest to him, he's heartbroken and theres nothing i can do”
“Did he have any family?”
“I don't know,”
“A girlfriend, kids?”
“No, he had a girlfriend but she died, thats when he and Jack started; when they both lost someone.”
“Sounds like his life was a soap opera.”
“It was certainly dramatic.”
“Come on,” Rhys said, sitting beside her and putting his arm around her, “We'll put last nights Corrie on, that always cheers you up.”
Gwen's phone rang.
Jack put the phone down and picked up his whiskey, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. The hub was quiet, too quiet for his liking. It had been at times like this that Ianto would scare him out of his skin by appearing from nowhere, springing out from the darkness or just simply leaning on the doorway with his hands in his pockets. That was one thing that wouldn't be happening again. He could almost see Ianto in his mind, distant memories playing over in his head
Laying back, closing his eyes and thinking of him was making him hallucinate, he could feel the heat of Ianto's hands on his shoulders, he could almost smell his aftershave in the room and taste his coffee-soaked breath on his lips. It was like he was there in the room, touching him and breathing down his neck. He placed his hands onto his shoulders, expecting to feel his warm skin, but Ianto wasn't there; Ianto would never be there again. Half of him wanted to get up and move away from his thought, but the other half wanted to sit there and remember his touch. Jack missed his touch, for the five hours that Ianto had been gone he had missed his touch, but he wasn't there. Nobody was there anymore, there was nothing.
He could remember the last time that he had lost someone he loved, the night that Estelle had passed away. Ianto had walked into his office late at night and closed the door, joining him for a drink before walking behind him and removing his jacket. It had been only the third time he had seen him without it, and each time for it had been for exactly the same reason. He could still hear the gentle rustle of Ianto's shirt as he rolled up his sleeves and placed his hands on Jack's shoulders.
“You're very tense tonight sir,” he said, kneading away the days stress, “it's all gone to your shoulders.” Ianto stopped and waited, usually Jack would have responded to that within a moment with a dirty suggestion, but he hadn't, in fact he had hardly said a word all evening. “You loved her.”
“Yes i did.”
“I'm sorry,” Ianto said, whispering, “I know how it feels. You love someone for so long and then you watch them die in front of your eyes. You may as well never have loved them in the first place. All those memories are exactly that; memories.”
“At least you understand,” Jack sighed, “Gwen seems to think that I'm just going to be so used to it by now that I just carry on regardless.”
“What does she know?” Ianto said, “You never forget; I lost all my friends in the battle and there isn't a day goes by when i don't think of them, see them dying when I'm sleeping. Every time I close my eyes I see.”
Jack moved his hand to his shoulder, grabbing Ianto's hand and pulling it towards his lips; he pressed it to his skin and kissed it softly.
“Sir,” Ianto said lightly, neither moving closer or moving away.
“I know,” he sighed, moving it away from his lips, “proximity.”
“Would you like me to go home, maybe you could do with some time alone.”
“If you want to go you can go, I'm not stopping you.”
“I didn't say I wanted to sir, I just thought you might want me to.”
“I was hoping for a massage,” Jack said and smiled a little when Ianto's fingers started to work their magic on his shoulders, kneading out the knots. He could feel Ianto's hands as the slipped the braces off his shoulders and circled his arms around his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off his shoulders. His hands slipped beneath the material of his undershirt. “Now that's starting to feel good.”
“You're knotted up,” he said, “I don't know how much I can do for you.”
“Being here is enough.”
“I'm always here, sir.”
Rating: R
Genre: Angst, fluff in places, violence some places also.
Pairings: Jack/Ianto, some Tosh/Owen later
Summary: Jack is back, but why did he leave in the first place? Promises broken and promises made. Shock, horror and surprises make Jack wonder about his own immortality power.
Warnings: as I mentioned… some smut … and also some violence… angst and some fluffy bits.
i have also rewritten some of the scenes in 1-4, it doesnt matter if you dont read the rewrite but if you want to or havent read before you can
Part 1 is HERE --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/1956.html
Part 2 is HERE --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/2108.html
Part 3 is HERE --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/2508.html
Part 4 is HERE --> http://jo19844.livejournal.com/2709.html
Part 5 is HEREà http://jo19844.livejournal.com/2826.html
part 6 is HERE http://jo19844.livejournal.com/?skip=2
part 7 is HERE http://jo19844.livejournal.com/?skip=1
Part 8 HERE http://jo19844.livejournal.com/
Owen had guided Toshiko through the bar with his hand on the small of her back; it had been crowded and it took them a few minutes to finally find a table away from the hustle and bustle. They had only had one drink before they decided to go somewhere quieter where they could talk; Toshiko’s flat seemed the best choice, it was closest and her neighbors were a little more relaxed than Owen’s.
“It’s been ages since I’ve been in here,” Owen said as he slumped himself down on her sofa, shrugging his jacket from his shoulders.
“You were here on my birthday,” Tosh commented, “in July.”
“Yeah, I remember that,” Owen smiled, thanking her with a nod for the drink that rapidly appeared in his hand, “that was a good night.”
“It was a lot of fun.”
“I can't believe you still don’t have a TV though,” Owen said, pointing over to the corner where a computer rested on a tidy desk, “ it would fit nicely over there.”
“I don’t have time for TV in this job.”
“Or friends,” Owen added, “or anything apart from the job.”
“And look where it gets you,” she sighed taking a drink from her glass, “lying cold on a slab with a gaping hole where your abdomen used to be.”
“Or worse.”
“What could be worse?”
“Watching it happen,” Owen said, staring down at his drink, “you could watch it happen and know that no matter what you do, you just can't help.”
Tosh watched him for a moment and moved closer beside him, she opened her mouth many times, trying to search for the words.
“You cant save everyone,” she said finally, “it doesn't matter how much you train, or how good you are; you can't save everyone.”
“I just froze,” Owen sighed, turning his face to look at her, “he was ling there covered in blood, Jack was begging me to help him and i just - i froze Tosh. I lost it,i lost the ability to see what i could do.”
“I've seen his injuries, there is nothing you could have done to save him.”
“But its not right!” Owen shouted, getting up and pacing across her floor, “I'm the doctor here, I'm the one who fixes people when they're broken and i couldn't, i couldn't fix him Tosh. I had to watch him die-- he was in all that pain and he looked so scared. There was nothing i could do, there was no way to take away his pain.”
“Stop it,” Tosh ordered, walking up beside him and stopping him, “stop torturing yourself; this isn't your fault.”
“I know but--”
“No but's.”
“What am i meant to do?” he asked, feeling his composure slowly slip away as he placed his hands on her shoulders, leaning against her, resting his head against hers, “how am i meant to walk into work tomorrow and sit at my desk and work away like nothing happened. How can I look at Jack and know that all hes thinking about is how he's alone without him and its my fault because i couldn't do my job?”
“You've got this all wrong,” she said, “you tried.”
“I failed.”
“But you did try,” she told him, catching him when he fell, wrapping his arms around her and burying his head into her shoulder.
“You're home early,” Rhys said, looking over at Gwen when she walked through the door and shut it slowly, “I never usually see you before dark, i was starting to think you were a vampire or something.”
“W--what?” she asked, shaking her thoughts out of her head and looking at him.
“Vampires! You know because you leave in the dark and you come home in the dark, like the things on Buffy, although I would imagine that in real life they don't look anything like that bloke on bones.”
“I don't know what you're talking about, Rhys.”
“You never do, because you never listen, you're always so out of it I may as well not exist,” Ryhs complained.
“Is this pick on Gwen day?”
“What?”
“Is it pick on Gwen day today because if so I've been told that I'm not focused enough and that I'm selfish, now you're telling me i don't listen. Well you can sop the fucking festivities because I've just about had enough of everything!”
“Work's in the shitter again then?”
“Yeah, i had a bad day.”
“Well whatever it is i don't really care for once, I'd just like to take advantage of my girlfriend being home before dark and use this rare daylight sighting as an excuse to take her out; theres a great new film on in town, i saw the adverts on telly today. Lots of blood and gore, i thought we could follow it up with a curry and a pint.”
“No thanks,” Gwen sighed, “I've had enough blood and gore for one day.”
“What happened?”
“Did i ever tell you about Ianto?”
“Ianto? Doesn't ring a bell, why?”
“He's dead,” she told him and Rhys moved towards her without removing the oven gloves from his shoulder, and hugged her tightly, “he's twenty six and now he's dead.”
“What happened?”
“Stabbed.”
“See thats why i hate your job, it's too dangerous.”
“He's not even a field worker,” she explained, “he's the general support, he files reports and does our research; he makes our coffee. He's not meant to--”
“Were you close?”
“No,” Gwen said, slumping down on a seat, “that's why i feel so bad, I was kind of oblivious to him half the time, he just slipped in and out without me noticing. Jack was closest to him, he's heartbroken and theres nothing i can do”
“Did he have any family?”
“I don't know,”
“A girlfriend, kids?”
“No, he had a girlfriend but she died, thats when he and Jack started; when they both lost someone.”
“Sounds like his life was a soap opera.”
“It was certainly dramatic.”
“Come on,” Rhys said, sitting beside her and putting his arm around her, “We'll put last nights Corrie on, that always cheers you up.”
Gwen's phone rang.
Jack put the phone down and picked up his whiskey, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. The hub was quiet, too quiet for his liking. It had been at times like this that Ianto would scare him out of his skin by appearing from nowhere, springing out from the darkness or just simply leaning on the doorway with his hands in his pockets. That was one thing that wouldn't be happening again. He could almost see Ianto in his mind, distant memories playing over in his head
Laying back, closing his eyes and thinking of him was making him hallucinate, he could feel the heat of Ianto's hands on his shoulders, he could almost smell his aftershave in the room and taste his coffee-soaked breath on his lips. It was like he was there in the room, touching him and breathing down his neck. He placed his hands onto his shoulders, expecting to feel his warm skin, but Ianto wasn't there; Ianto would never be there again. Half of him wanted to get up and move away from his thought, but the other half wanted to sit there and remember his touch. Jack missed his touch, for the five hours that Ianto had been gone he had missed his touch, but he wasn't there. Nobody was there anymore, there was nothing.
He could remember the last time that he had lost someone he loved, the night that Estelle had passed away. Ianto had walked into his office late at night and closed the door, joining him for a drink before walking behind him and removing his jacket. It had been only the third time he had seen him without it, and each time for it had been for exactly the same reason. He could still hear the gentle rustle of Ianto's shirt as he rolled up his sleeves and placed his hands on Jack's shoulders.
“You're very tense tonight sir,” he said, kneading away the days stress, “it's all gone to your shoulders.” Ianto stopped and waited, usually Jack would have responded to that within a moment with a dirty suggestion, but he hadn't, in fact he had hardly said a word all evening. “You loved her.”
“Yes i did.”
“I'm sorry,” Ianto said, whispering, “I know how it feels. You love someone for so long and then you watch them die in front of your eyes. You may as well never have loved them in the first place. All those memories are exactly that; memories.”
“At least you understand,” Jack sighed, “Gwen seems to think that I'm just going to be so used to it by now that I just carry on regardless.”
“What does she know?” Ianto said, “You never forget; I lost all my friends in the battle and there isn't a day goes by when i don't think of them, see them dying when I'm sleeping. Every time I close my eyes I see.”
Jack moved his hand to his shoulder, grabbing Ianto's hand and pulling it towards his lips; he pressed it to his skin and kissed it softly.
“Sir,” Ianto said lightly, neither moving closer or moving away.
“I know,” he sighed, moving it away from his lips, “proximity.”
“Would you like me to go home, maybe you could do with some time alone.”
“If you want to go you can go, I'm not stopping you.”
“I didn't say I wanted to sir, I just thought you might want me to.”
“I was hoping for a massage,” Jack said and smiled a little when Ianto's fingers started to work their magic on his shoulders, kneading out the knots. He could feel Ianto's hands as the slipped the braces off his shoulders and circled his arms around his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off his shoulders. His hands slipped beneath the material of his undershirt. “Now that's starting to feel good.”
“You're knotted up,” he said, “I don't know how much I can do for you.”
“Being here is enough.”
“I'm always here, sir.”