Comments | jo19844: Promises Made, promises broken

jo19844

Promises Made, promises broken - part 4

Jan 18, 2007 15:01

Title: Promises Made, Promises Broken

Characters/Pairing : Jack/Ianto

Rating: R (This part contains smut & slash)

Spoilers: end of days.

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood... believe me... if i did Jack and Ianto would walk around in nothing but tight pants (and a tie for Ianto) The BBC own it. so as much as i love it i don't own it :(

Summary: Jack ( Read more... )

torchwood, fic, jack/ianto

Comments 5

kastawayking January 18 2007, 16:14:19 UTC

Really good.
I laughed at the whole coat fetish thing!!!
Keep up the good work.

who_la_hoop January 18 2007, 16:31:09 UTC

This is a fun fic, and you have a good humourous touch. The line "I grew it myself" is very cute! The banter about the coat also works well.

I would suggest though that you take a little more time to re-read and rework your writing, before posting. There are a few places where I get the feeling you're thinking 'Ianto and Jack are really hot' while writing, rather than trying to get inside their heads, and think how Ianto and Jack would react to a situation. This sentence: Ianto came over from behind me in particular made me think that. (Should be "Jack", not "me"!).

I don't want you to think of this concrit as negative though - I am enjoying your writing, and such things come with practice. Looking forward to the next installment :)

jo19844 January 18 2007, 17:55:58 UTC

any comment is a comment. its nice to have constructive criticism... i'm currently in communication with a beta for my writing who is looking over my next part.

im not the best writer, or even a good writer, but i do try to not completely suck (which i realise is failing lol)

maybe after this fic ill get better, or maybe ill give up... i dunno... anyway. thanks for replying i take it all on board

jo19844 January 18 2007, 17:58:56 UTC

oh and about the 'me' thing loli didnt even notice that hehe... im also writing something else at the moment in 1st person for college and i sometimes type in the wrong place... stupid as that siunds... i wasnt thinking that at all... they are hot but actually not my type at all (nothing to hold onto really). im gonna edit it hehe.

mara_202 January 18 2007, 19:30:41 UTC

Yay update! :D

Guh. Who doesn't love Jack's coat? (Or Ianto's waistcoat. ^^ )

Please write more. :)