(no subject)
Alright so it is a very hard time for me right now, but at the same time i am glad that it happened. God has to be first and that is the most important thing. The problem is that. . .i love him and it just sucks not wanting to talk to him at this moment. God is totally here and it is awesome, but i am still sad. it all hurts and my dreams were just shattered without a moments notice. But than comes in to play God's timing not mine. I don't know this whole situation now only 54 hours over and done with hurts me. i am letting him go and i can be his friend only, but i know that we are suppose to get married, unless God tells me otherwise. This is a song that has been helping me understand this whole situation. i need to put God first and love Him the most out of anyone in my life, after all without Him i would have NO life.
Relient K - Let it all out
Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed
Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh, inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency
And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
Then end will justify the pain ti took to get us there
And I'll let it be known
At times I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength
And you promis me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That man isn't me
Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Ever beat will be for you
For you
And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart and made it light
God thank you for breaking my heart again. he did this a few times before but about 10 months ago he broke my heart to show me i could change and move on. I want to Trust God and know that He loves me. i know he loves me but God loves me more. i don't want to directly say it because it hurts a lot. Today i found some things and it kept hitting me that it was over. i will not lose hope and i know God is here for me and is awesome! His plans are to prosper me and NOT to harm me.
ANYWAY It is way late and my shoulder hurts, OH and i have a doctor's appointment for that tomorrow at 8:45. I found out my shouler cap (Humerous) and the back shoulder bone behind the calvical are not connected, so i needed to see what the doctor wants me to do. Please be praying for that. Also pray for me to put God first and not someone or soemthing. i love you all! God bless and remember to Bless God because He blesses you! =) Thank you.
<3 heidi
Relient K - Let it all out
Let it all out
Get it all out
Rip it out remove it
Don't be alarmed
When the wound begins to bleed
Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh, inconsistent me
Crying out for consistency
And you said I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
Then end will justify the pain ti took to get us there
And I'll let it be known
At times I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me
There is strength
And you promis me
That you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me
There is strength
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That man isn't me
Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Ever beat will be for you
For you
And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart and made it light
God thank you for breaking my heart again. he did this a few times before but about 10 months ago he broke my heart to show me i could change and move on. I want to Trust God and know that He loves me. i know he loves me but God loves me more. i don't want to directly say it because it hurts a lot. Today i found some things and it kept hitting me that it was over. i will not lose hope and i know God is here for me and is awesome! His plans are to prosper me and NOT to harm me.
ANYWAY It is way late and my shoulder hurts, OH and i have a doctor's appointment for that tomorrow at 8:45. I found out my shouler cap (Humerous) and the back shoulder bone behind the calvical are not connected, so i needed to see what the doctor wants me to do. Please be praying for that. Also pray for me to put God first and not someone or soemthing. i love you all! God bless and remember to Bless God because He blesses you! =) Thank you.
<3 heidi