Fic: "Parks and Trek" chapter 1/5
Title: Parks and Trek, chapter 1/5
author: jncar
Fandom: Parks and Recreation / Star Trek
Characters/Ships: Leslie Knope, Ben Wyatt, Leslie/Ben, ensemble, Star Trek TOS character cameos
Word Count: ~2,800
Rating: PG-13
Trope Bingo Square: Author's choice - Space AU
Summary: When Admiral Traeger and Captain Wyatt are sent to conduct a routine pre-decommissioning inspection of the freighter Pawnee, led by Commander Ron Swanson and his First Officer Lt. Commander Leslie Knope, things quickly go awry.
Notes: Inspired by both AU month at the Leslie-Ben LiveJournal and by the Trope Bingo game from the same community, I'm finally making my Parks/Star Trek AU a reality in a five chapter fill for the center column of my trope bingo card. Much thanks to stars_inthe_sky for beta reading. Expect each chapter to get progressively zanier. For the Star Trek fans out there: this AU is set in classic Shatner-era Trek, sometime after the ending of the original television series, but prior to the first Star Trek film. If you want to play a Trek-trivia game with me, each chapter will feature people, places, and things that actually appeared in the original series. Spot them all, and you win super-nerd points.
These are the voyages of the starship Pawnee . . .
Well, fine. So it's not technically a starship. But freighters are important, too! And this is the greatest freighter in all of Starfleet. Probably all of the Alpha Quadrant. Possibly the Galaxy.
~*~*~
Lt. Commander Knope gathered the crew in the mess hall to share her big news.
"This is a momentous occasion, people," she announced to the gathered crew. "Something big is about to happen. Probably the most exciting thing to happen to any freighter in the fleet, ever." She grinned and looked at around at the less-than-enthusiastic expressions on the crewmember's faces. But it didn't get her down. They'd come around soon enough. "Our trusty little ship is being personally inspected by an Admiral from Fleet Operational Support Services!" She clapped her hands and bounced, but none of the others seemed that thrilled. In fact, they seemed more annoyed.
"What's wrong? Why aren't you all more excited? This is a big deal!"
The ship's commanding officer, Commander Ron Swanson, cleared his throat. "They're not excited because it is a big deal. Such a big deal that you'll have everyone running in circles getting this damn ship ready for the inspection all week instead of taking shore leave like we'd planned."
"But this is better than shore leave!" Knope insisted.
Unfortunately, no one else seemed to agree.
~*~*~
Captain Benjamin Wyatt tossed his arm load of PADDs onto the table in his room and sank into his chair with a sigh. It had been a long week inspecting Deep Space Station K-7. The station had been removed from civilian administration and turned over to Starfleet following the tribble incident five years ago and hadn't been inspected since.
He and Chris (Admiral Traeger, he reminded himself. He still hadn't gotten used to Chris getting promoted over him.) had their work cut out for them. The Starfleet Administrator had certainly done a better job with the station than the civilians had done, but there were still areas that had fallen into disrepair. Ben needed to finish four long reports tonight before he could turn in.
And the work wasn't done yet.
Tomorrow he and Chris would begin an inspection of a Star Fleet freighter that served all the stations, outposts and colonies in the sector, the USS Pawnee NCC 0409-09. He still had to review the ship information and crew dossiers before they started the inspection tomorrow afternoon. It would be a long night, followed by a long morning.
He touched his console and spoke aloud:
"Personal log. I've never regretted taking this post in Fleet OSS, but after nearly twelve years of travelling to the ends of Federation space on inspection tours, this job has gotten a little stale. More than a little. Especially since Chris's promotion.
"I'm starting to wonder what it would be like to work outside of OSS, at a post that would let me settle down and work with a large staff that I could actually get to know, instead of being shuffled off to a new location every few weeks. When this inspection tour is done, I think I'll start looking into potential reassignments. Maybe even before this inspection tour is done. I just can't do this anymore."
Ben sighed and rubbed his face. He didn't know how long this feeling had been coming on, because he hadn't acknowledged it until getting the orders to stay on as Chris's assistant instead of his partner. But he suspected it had been building for a long time now.
"I'm ready for a change," he said to the computer. "A big one. The sooner the better."
~*~*~
-Personal Log, Commander Ron Swanson:
When I received this command I was ordered to keep a personal log in order to record my private thoughts and feelings regarding the ship, its crew, and our various missions. I was told my superiors would periodically review this log in order to help assess my crew for potential advancement. In my seven years of command I have made a single entry in this log, stating that I have no private thoughts or feelings regarding the ship, its crew, or our various missions.
However, this morning I was ordered to forward the contents of my personal log to one Admiral Traeger for review as part of our inspection.
Therefore, I would like to amend my previous entry. My private thought regarding this ship is that it functions adequately. My private thought regarding this crew is that they complete their assigned duties and stay out of my way. I like that. I continue to have no private thoughts regarding our various missions.
End of log.
~*~*~
Lt. Commander Knope's heart raced with excitement as she gathered the crew just inside the docking access door to greet their visitors. She'd never dreamed an actual Admiral would ever take an interest in their humble but amazing little ship. She couldn't wait to show him just how valuable her vessel and its crew really were.
She smoothed her golden uniform shirt over her black uniform trousers. Though she could see the appeal of the popular uniform mini-dress, she'd long since given up wearing it in favor of the more practical unisex option. The rough and ready work on a freighter simply wasn't the place for wearing a dress. All of the female crew members had followed suit. Except for the communications officer, Lieutenant Meagle. But looking fabulous seemed to be a crucial aspect of Donna's life goals, so Leslie didn't hold it against her.
As the crew lined up, Dwyer and Ludgate stood poking each other in the butt. Leslie rolled her eyes and tried to ignore them-and to ignore the way Ensign Gergich slouched and the way Lieutenant Meagle stood filing her nails. At least Ensign Haverford looked appropriately well groomed and attentive. And Ann-dear, wonderful, beautiful medic and best friend, Ensign Perkins-stood primly by her side, ready to make an amazing first impression.
In fact, poor Lieutenant Commander Danowiz, standing not far away, seemed a little crestfallen at how good Ann looked so soon after their break up. As an Andorian, he always looked a little blue (Leslie could never resist that joke-even just in her head), but today even his antennae looked a little droopy. Oh well, he'd get over it eventually.
As the hatch slid open, Leslie took a deep breath and put on her best smile. Time to show the officers from Fleet OSS just how amazing the freighter Pawnee really was.
Two men stepped through the entrance, and Leslie snapped to attention, with Ron and the others all coming more or less to attention around her.
Ron saluted lazily. "Admiral. Captain. This is my ship. Have at it."
The Admiral stepped forward, his face bedecked with a smile as vibrant as sunlight, and pointed with both hands at Ron. "Commander Ron Swanson. So good to meet you. I am Admiral Traeger."
Leslie's heart raced in her chest, and she saluted. "Hello Admiral. I'm the first officer, Lt. Commander Leslie Knope. Welcome to the Pawnee."
The Admiral pointed at her, his smile hitting her like a sonic shower full of happiness. "Lt. Commander Leslie Knope. Such a delight to meet you. Such a delight to meet all of you. And this is my associate, Captain Wyatt."
Leslie shifted her eyes to the man standing a few feet behind the admiral. Pleasantly thin, the captain sported a five o'clock shadow and bags under his eyes, but also wore a bemused smile on his face. Though not as traditionally handsome as Admiral Traeger, Captain Wyatt had the kind of character-filled face that normally appealed to Leslie. And he looked strangely familiar . . .
She shook her head. Now was hardly the time to start ogling the senior officers. Maybe she had needed that shore-leave, after all. Lord only knew how long it had been since her last date. But romance could wait. Right now she had to focus on impressing the OSS officers.
"Now," said Admiral Traeger, "you must be wondering what brings us here. Oooo… scary inspection from fleet OSS. But there's no reason to be nervous! It's important for OSS to regularly inspect all spacecraft in the fleet to make sure we're functioning at our tip-top best! So that's what we're here to do-to give the Pawnee the old once-over and then send you wonderful people back to work. All right?" He gestured to the gathered crew and smiled broadly, encouraging a response.
Leslie raised her eyebrows a little at the Admiral's somewhat unorthodox introduction, but she gladly joined her crew in a chorus of "all rights" in reply. If the Admiral was any indication, this inspection would sail along nicely.
"Excellent!" The Admiral clapped his hands together. "Now, I need to spend a little time finishing my review of your mission and maintenance records, so I'll need a place to work, and I'll leave the rest of you in the capable hands of Captain Wyatt."
Leslie beamed. She'd filed all those records herself, and she felt certain that the Admiral would find nothing to fault in them. "Lt. Meagle, would you please show the Admiral to our conference room and bring him anything he needs?"
Donna leered at the Admiral and nodded, "Oh, I'll bring him what he needs, all right."
Leslie managed to restrain another eye-roll as Captain Wyatt approached her and Ron. "Do you have a minute?" he asked casually.
"At your service, Captain," replied Ron, and led the way to the commander's office.
Once they were all seated, Captain Wyatt flipped through a few screens on the PADD in his hands before looking up at them. "I'll need both of you to put together detailed personnel evaluations, paying particular attention to individual qualifications for transfer posts."
Leslie's eyes widened. Wait a minute. "But-Admiral Traeger said you were here to inspect the Pawnee and put us back to work, not to evaluate us for transfers."
Captain Wyatt nodded and sighed. "He said that because he didn't want your crew to be alarmed. We're really here for a pre-decommissioning inspection. The Pawnee is being put out to pasture, and her entire crew will be reassigned. No one's job is in jeopardy, but-"
Leslie couldn't contain the wave of anger swelling in her chest. "You're a jerk," she said, cutting the captain off mid-sentence.
"Knope!" barked Ron just as Captain Wyatt raised his eyebrows and said, "Excuse me?"
Leslie knew full well that she should stop there, but-dammit!-she'd been expecting a chance to wow the OSS Admiral with how well her crew maintained their old but still ship-shape vessel, and instead she'd been tricked. Duped. Manipulated. All her friends were being sent away and her beloved ship was being hauled off as scrap. It was more than she could take.
"You heard me. This crew loves each other. We have forged bonds of camaraderie and friendship that you couldn't possibly understand, and you can't just break us up and throw our home on the trash heap without so much a warning. These are real people, in a real ship, with real feelings." Leslie could feel the heat rising in her face.
Though she wouldn't have thought it possible, Captain Wyatt's eyebrows managed to shoot up even higher. "This ship has feelings?"
Damn his smug arrogance. "Maybe it does," she snapped back. "There's a lot of history in this old boat, and AI has been known to evolve in stranger places. So maybe it does."
Captain Wyatt clenched his teeth together and frowned, turning to Ron with a questioning look.
"May I have a private moment with my first officer, Captain?" asked Ron with a serious growl in his voice.
"Of course you may." Wyatt folded his arms and waited as Ron grabbed Leslie's arm and practically dragged her out of her seat to lead her out into the corridor.
"Are you out of your mind, woman?" he asked. "This isn't some random stranger criticizing your ship-he's a captain from OSS! He outranks us all, whether you like it or not, and he holds your fate in his hand like an Andorian redbat-which are delicious, by the way. The last thing I need is to see you brought up on disciplinary charges for insubordination. So get your butt back in there and apologize. That's an order."
Leslie scowled. There was no way in hell she wanted to apologize, but given that this was only the third direct order that Ron had ever given her, she felt she had no choice. "Fine," she grumbled. "I'll go apologize."
~ * ~ * ~
Ben was used to crewmembers facing tough inspections and potential reassignment grumbling about him behind his back. He'd been subject to several cases of nasty electronic messages being passed around, to having his gear tampered with, and even to one case of rather vulgar vandalism. However, Lt. Commander Knope was the first person to unabashedly insult him to his face-and he hadn't even done anything yet!
His review of her personnel file last night had revealed the history of an excellent student-graduating near the top of her class from Star Fleet Academy-and an equally excellent officer, quickly rising from Ensign to Lt. Commander, until she stalled out on the Pawnee after arriving four years ago. Her performance evaluations were still overwhelmingly positive, she would likely be promoted and given her own command at the conclusion of this inspection, and she had to know that. Why in the world would she risk all that to defend her rag-tag crew and aging ship against a perceived slight?
Ben wasn't sure whether he should question her sanity or applaud her loyalty and devotion, however misplaced. One thing he did admire, unreservedly, was her frankness and passion. It was impossible to speak frankly with Chris. Everything had to be couched in niceties and metaphor. Nothing could be overly emotional or passionate. It was all about analyzing the facts, dealing with them as pleasantly as possible, and moving on without any regard for the emotional consequences of their decisions. Lt. Commander Knope looked like exactly the sort of woman who would make that particular approach impossible.
Swanson led a somewhat chastened looking Knope back into the office, and they took their seats.
Knope coughed a little, before saying, "I need to apologize, Captain. I spoke rashly and unfairly, and I'm very sorry. I know you're only following orders, and I shouldn't have taken out my anger on you."
Ben nodded. He was almost disappointed to see her passion fade so quickly. "Apology accepted. But I am doing an important job, Commander Knope. The fleet needs to keep the newest, most capable ships in service, and in order to do so, old, out-of-date vessels need to be cycled out of service. That's how we keep the fleet prepared for anything and everything that might come at it. The Pawnee has had its day. It's time to let it go."
Ben knew he'd said the wrong thing as soon as he saw Knope's cheeks flush and her jaw tighten.
"This ship is capable of anything and everything that might come at it. We've made sure of that. And calling it out-of-date is ridiculously absurd. I don't care if you hold my fate in your hand like an Andorian redbat. I still think you're an ass."
Though Ben knew full well that his first reaction to this kind of insubordination shouldn't be to smile, that was exactly what he did. Something about this woman and her passion for this little old ship intrigued him. He wanted to know more.
"K-7 has a bar. I'm sure you know it. As long as we're still docked here, I think we should go get a beer. You really look like you could use a beer."
Knope's mouth hung open in shock. Ben could hardly believe he'd spoken that invitation aloud. But why not? Why the hell shouldn't he turn to unorthodox methods when confronted with a difficult situation? He'd played things by the book for his whole career, and it had gotten him nothing but stagnation and being passed over for promotion. Maybe this was just the beginning of the big change he'd been looking for.
"But-we're on duty," Knope finally managed to reply.
Ben shrugged. "Don't worry about it." He stood, picking up his PADD. "Are you coming?"
Knope nodded and rose to her feet. "I-yes. I am."
Ben nodded, feeling a surge of adrenaline pushing him onward into his reckless abandonment of procedure. It felt pretty damn good.
He stepped toward the door and looked back at Swanson. "Get started on those personnel evaluations for me. I'll need them by the end of the day."
"Will do. Enjoy your drink," replied Swanson, with a knowing twinkle in his eye. Ben had a feeling Swanson had seen more than a little of the inside of K-7's bar.
As he led Knope back down the corridor to the docking hatch, he started to wonder what the hell he'd just gotten himself into.
TBC
Chapter 2
author: jncar
Fandom: Parks and Recreation / Star Trek
Characters/Ships: Leslie Knope, Ben Wyatt, Leslie/Ben, ensemble, Star Trek TOS character cameos
Word Count: ~2,800
Rating: PG-13
Trope Bingo Square: Author's choice - Space AU
Summary: When Admiral Traeger and Captain Wyatt are sent to conduct a routine pre-decommissioning inspection of the freighter Pawnee, led by Commander Ron Swanson and his First Officer Lt. Commander Leslie Knope, things quickly go awry.
Notes: Inspired by both AU month at the Leslie-Ben LiveJournal and by the Trope Bingo game from the same community, I'm finally making my Parks/Star Trek AU a reality in a five chapter fill for the center column of my trope bingo card. Much thanks to stars_inthe_sky for beta reading. Expect each chapter to get progressively zanier. For the Star Trek fans out there: this AU is set in classic Shatner-era Trek, sometime after the ending of the original television series, but prior to the first Star Trek film. If you want to play a Trek-trivia game with me, each chapter will feature people, places, and things that actually appeared in the original series. Spot them all, and you win super-nerd points.
These are the voyages of the starship Pawnee . . .
Well, fine. So it's not technically a starship. But freighters are important, too! And this is the greatest freighter in all of Starfleet. Probably all of the Alpha Quadrant. Possibly the Galaxy.
~*~*~
Lt. Commander Knope gathered the crew in the mess hall to share her big news.
"This is a momentous occasion, people," she announced to the gathered crew. "Something big is about to happen. Probably the most exciting thing to happen to any freighter in the fleet, ever." She grinned and looked at around at the less-than-enthusiastic expressions on the crewmember's faces. But it didn't get her down. They'd come around soon enough. "Our trusty little ship is being personally inspected by an Admiral from Fleet Operational Support Services!" She clapped her hands and bounced, but none of the others seemed that thrilled. In fact, they seemed more annoyed.
"What's wrong? Why aren't you all more excited? This is a big deal!"
The ship's commanding officer, Commander Ron Swanson, cleared his throat. "They're not excited because it is a big deal. Such a big deal that you'll have everyone running in circles getting this damn ship ready for the inspection all week instead of taking shore leave like we'd planned."
"But this is better than shore leave!" Knope insisted.
Unfortunately, no one else seemed to agree.
~*~*~
Captain Benjamin Wyatt tossed his arm load of PADDs onto the table in his room and sank into his chair with a sigh. It had been a long week inspecting Deep Space Station K-7. The station had been removed from civilian administration and turned over to Starfleet following the tribble incident five years ago and hadn't been inspected since.
He and Chris (Admiral Traeger, he reminded himself. He still hadn't gotten used to Chris getting promoted over him.) had their work cut out for them. The Starfleet Administrator had certainly done a better job with the station than the civilians had done, but there were still areas that had fallen into disrepair. Ben needed to finish four long reports tonight before he could turn in.
And the work wasn't done yet.
Tomorrow he and Chris would begin an inspection of a Star Fleet freighter that served all the stations, outposts and colonies in the sector, the USS Pawnee NCC 0409-09. He still had to review the ship information and crew dossiers before they started the inspection tomorrow afternoon. It would be a long night, followed by a long morning.
He touched his console and spoke aloud:
"Personal log. I've never regretted taking this post in Fleet OSS, but after nearly twelve years of travelling to the ends of Federation space on inspection tours, this job has gotten a little stale. More than a little. Especially since Chris's promotion.
"I'm starting to wonder what it would be like to work outside of OSS, at a post that would let me settle down and work with a large staff that I could actually get to know, instead of being shuffled off to a new location every few weeks. When this inspection tour is done, I think I'll start looking into potential reassignments. Maybe even before this inspection tour is done. I just can't do this anymore."
Ben sighed and rubbed his face. He didn't know how long this feeling had been coming on, because he hadn't acknowledged it until getting the orders to stay on as Chris's assistant instead of his partner. But he suspected it had been building for a long time now.
"I'm ready for a change," he said to the computer. "A big one. The sooner the better."
~*~*~
-Personal Log, Commander Ron Swanson:
When I received this command I was ordered to keep a personal log in order to record my private thoughts and feelings regarding the ship, its crew, and our various missions. I was told my superiors would periodically review this log in order to help assess my crew for potential advancement. In my seven years of command I have made a single entry in this log, stating that I have no private thoughts or feelings regarding the ship, its crew, or our various missions.
However, this morning I was ordered to forward the contents of my personal log to one Admiral Traeger for review as part of our inspection.
Therefore, I would like to amend my previous entry. My private thought regarding this ship is that it functions adequately. My private thought regarding this crew is that they complete their assigned duties and stay out of my way. I like that. I continue to have no private thoughts regarding our various missions.
End of log.
~*~*~
Lt. Commander Knope's heart raced with excitement as she gathered the crew just inside the docking access door to greet their visitors. She'd never dreamed an actual Admiral would ever take an interest in their humble but amazing little ship. She couldn't wait to show him just how valuable her vessel and its crew really were.
She smoothed her golden uniform shirt over her black uniform trousers. Though she could see the appeal of the popular uniform mini-dress, she'd long since given up wearing it in favor of the more practical unisex option. The rough and ready work on a freighter simply wasn't the place for wearing a dress. All of the female crew members had followed suit. Except for the communications officer, Lieutenant Meagle. But looking fabulous seemed to be a crucial aspect of Donna's life goals, so Leslie didn't hold it against her.
As the crew lined up, Dwyer and Ludgate stood poking each other in the butt. Leslie rolled her eyes and tried to ignore them-and to ignore the way Ensign Gergich slouched and the way Lieutenant Meagle stood filing her nails. At least Ensign Haverford looked appropriately well groomed and attentive. And Ann-dear, wonderful, beautiful medic and best friend, Ensign Perkins-stood primly by her side, ready to make an amazing first impression.
In fact, poor Lieutenant Commander Danowiz, standing not far away, seemed a little crestfallen at how good Ann looked so soon after their break up. As an Andorian, he always looked a little blue (Leslie could never resist that joke-even just in her head), but today even his antennae looked a little droopy. Oh well, he'd get over it eventually.
As the hatch slid open, Leslie took a deep breath and put on her best smile. Time to show the officers from Fleet OSS just how amazing the freighter Pawnee really was.
Two men stepped through the entrance, and Leslie snapped to attention, with Ron and the others all coming more or less to attention around her.
Ron saluted lazily. "Admiral. Captain. This is my ship. Have at it."
The Admiral stepped forward, his face bedecked with a smile as vibrant as sunlight, and pointed with both hands at Ron. "Commander Ron Swanson. So good to meet you. I am Admiral Traeger."
Leslie's heart raced in her chest, and she saluted. "Hello Admiral. I'm the first officer, Lt. Commander Leslie Knope. Welcome to the Pawnee."
The Admiral pointed at her, his smile hitting her like a sonic shower full of happiness. "Lt. Commander Leslie Knope. Such a delight to meet you. Such a delight to meet all of you. And this is my associate, Captain Wyatt."
Leslie shifted her eyes to the man standing a few feet behind the admiral. Pleasantly thin, the captain sported a five o'clock shadow and bags under his eyes, but also wore a bemused smile on his face. Though not as traditionally handsome as Admiral Traeger, Captain Wyatt had the kind of character-filled face that normally appealed to Leslie. And he looked strangely familiar . . .
She shook her head. Now was hardly the time to start ogling the senior officers. Maybe she had needed that shore-leave, after all. Lord only knew how long it had been since her last date. But romance could wait. Right now she had to focus on impressing the OSS officers.
"Now," said Admiral Traeger, "you must be wondering what brings us here. Oooo… scary inspection from fleet OSS. But there's no reason to be nervous! It's important for OSS to regularly inspect all spacecraft in the fleet to make sure we're functioning at our tip-top best! So that's what we're here to do-to give the Pawnee the old once-over and then send you wonderful people back to work. All right?" He gestured to the gathered crew and smiled broadly, encouraging a response.
Leslie raised her eyebrows a little at the Admiral's somewhat unorthodox introduction, but she gladly joined her crew in a chorus of "all rights" in reply. If the Admiral was any indication, this inspection would sail along nicely.
"Excellent!" The Admiral clapped his hands together. "Now, I need to spend a little time finishing my review of your mission and maintenance records, so I'll need a place to work, and I'll leave the rest of you in the capable hands of Captain Wyatt."
Leslie beamed. She'd filed all those records herself, and she felt certain that the Admiral would find nothing to fault in them. "Lt. Meagle, would you please show the Admiral to our conference room and bring him anything he needs?"
Donna leered at the Admiral and nodded, "Oh, I'll bring him what he needs, all right."
Leslie managed to restrain another eye-roll as Captain Wyatt approached her and Ron. "Do you have a minute?" he asked casually.
"At your service, Captain," replied Ron, and led the way to the commander's office.
Once they were all seated, Captain Wyatt flipped through a few screens on the PADD in his hands before looking up at them. "I'll need both of you to put together detailed personnel evaluations, paying particular attention to individual qualifications for transfer posts."
Leslie's eyes widened. Wait a minute. "But-Admiral Traeger said you were here to inspect the Pawnee and put us back to work, not to evaluate us for transfers."
Captain Wyatt nodded and sighed. "He said that because he didn't want your crew to be alarmed. We're really here for a pre-decommissioning inspection. The Pawnee is being put out to pasture, and her entire crew will be reassigned. No one's job is in jeopardy, but-"
Leslie couldn't contain the wave of anger swelling in her chest. "You're a jerk," she said, cutting the captain off mid-sentence.
"Knope!" barked Ron just as Captain Wyatt raised his eyebrows and said, "Excuse me?"
Leslie knew full well that she should stop there, but-dammit!-she'd been expecting a chance to wow the OSS Admiral with how well her crew maintained their old but still ship-shape vessel, and instead she'd been tricked. Duped. Manipulated. All her friends were being sent away and her beloved ship was being hauled off as scrap. It was more than she could take.
"You heard me. This crew loves each other. We have forged bonds of camaraderie and friendship that you couldn't possibly understand, and you can't just break us up and throw our home on the trash heap without so much a warning. These are real people, in a real ship, with real feelings." Leslie could feel the heat rising in her face.
Though she wouldn't have thought it possible, Captain Wyatt's eyebrows managed to shoot up even higher. "This ship has feelings?"
Damn his smug arrogance. "Maybe it does," she snapped back. "There's a lot of history in this old boat, and AI has been known to evolve in stranger places. So maybe it does."
Captain Wyatt clenched his teeth together and frowned, turning to Ron with a questioning look.
"May I have a private moment with my first officer, Captain?" asked Ron with a serious growl in his voice.
"Of course you may." Wyatt folded his arms and waited as Ron grabbed Leslie's arm and practically dragged her out of her seat to lead her out into the corridor.
"Are you out of your mind, woman?" he asked. "This isn't some random stranger criticizing your ship-he's a captain from OSS! He outranks us all, whether you like it or not, and he holds your fate in his hand like an Andorian redbat-which are delicious, by the way. The last thing I need is to see you brought up on disciplinary charges for insubordination. So get your butt back in there and apologize. That's an order."
Leslie scowled. There was no way in hell she wanted to apologize, but given that this was only the third direct order that Ron had ever given her, she felt she had no choice. "Fine," she grumbled. "I'll go apologize."
~ * ~ * ~
Ben was used to crewmembers facing tough inspections and potential reassignment grumbling about him behind his back. He'd been subject to several cases of nasty electronic messages being passed around, to having his gear tampered with, and even to one case of rather vulgar vandalism. However, Lt. Commander Knope was the first person to unabashedly insult him to his face-and he hadn't even done anything yet!
His review of her personnel file last night had revealed the history of an excellent student-graduating near the top of her class from Star Fleet Academy-and an equally excellent officer, quickly rising from Ensign to Lt. Commander, until she stalled out on the Pawnee after arriving four years ago. Her performance evaluations were still overwhelmingly positive, she would likely be promoted and given her own command at the conclusion of this inspection, and she had to know that. Why in the world would she risk all that to defend her rag-tag crew and aging ship against a perceived slight?
Ben wasn't sure whether he should question her sanity or applaud her loyalty and devotion, however misplaced. One thing he did admire, unreservedly, was her frankness and passion. It was impossible to speak frankly with Chris. Everything had to be couched in niceties and metaphor. Nothing could be overly emotional or passionate. It was all about analyzing the facts, dealing with them as pleasantly as possible, and moving on without any regard for the emotional consequences of their decisions. Lt. Commander Knope looked like exactly the sort of woman who would make that particular approach impossible.
Swanson led a somewhat chastened looking Knope back into the office, and they took their seats.
Knope coughed a little, before saying, "I need to apologize, Captain. I spoke rashly and unfairly, and I'm very sorry. I know you're only following orders, and I shouldn't have taken out my anger on you."
Ben nodded. He was almost disappointed to see her passion fade so quickly. "Apology accepted. But I am doing an important job, Commander Knope. The fleet needs to keep the newest, most capable ships in service, and in order to do so, old, out-of-date vessels need to be cycled out of service. That's how we keep the fleet prepared for anything and everything that might come at it. The Pawnee has had its day. It's time to let it go."
Ben knew he'd said the wrong thing as soon as he saw Knope's cheeks flush and her jaw tighten.
"This ship is capable of anything and everything that might come at it. We've made sure of that. And calling it out-of-date is ridiculously absurd. I don't care if you hold my fate in your hand like an Andorian redbat. I still think you're an ass."
Though Ben knew full well that his first reaction to this kind of insubordination shouldn't be to smile, that was exactly what he did. Something about this woman and her passion for this little old ship intrigued him. He wanted to know more.
"K-7 has a bar. I'm sure you know it. As long as we're still docked here, I think we should go get a beer. You really look like you could use a beer."
Knope's mouth hung open in shock. Ben could hardly believe he'd spoken that invitation aloud. But why not? Why the hell shouldn't he turn to unorthodox methods when confronted with a difficult situation? He'd played things by the book for his whole career, and it had gotten him nothing but stagnation and being passed over for promotion. Maybe this was just the beginning of the big change he'd been looking for.
"But-we're on duty," Knope finally managed to reply.
Ben shrugged. "Don't worry about it." He stood, picking up his PADD. "Are you coming?"
Knope nodded and rose to her feet. "I-yes. I am."
Ben nodded, feeling a surge of adrenaline pushing him onward into his reckless abandonment of procedure. It felt pretty damn good.
He stepped toward the door and looked back at Swanson. "Get started on those personnel evaluations for me. I'll need them by the end of the day."
"Will do. Enjoy your drink," replied Swanson, with a knowing twinkle in his eye. Ben had a feeling Swanson had seen more than a little of the inside of K-7's bar.
As he led Knope back down the corridor to the docking hatch, he started to wonder what the hell he'd just gotten himself into.
TBC
Chapter 2