(no subject)
i miss my bestfriend.
we were inseperable during the summer,
& now i barely speak to her.
i was just cleaning my room,
& glanced @ one of the many pictures of her in my room
& realized i miss her so much.
last time we talked i was kinda mean
& she got mad & just hung up on me.
but i was so angry at her for being so retarded lately.
shes making incredibly stupid mistakes...
& basically throwing her life away.
i feel so weird about her now,
i wanna b there for her & help her
but at the same time im so pissed off @ her for being so dumb?
& i kno if i talk to her & tell her what i feel,
she'll think im being all motherly, and get defensive & tell me
that i have no idea what im talking about & im not with her daily
& that i donno what shes going thru & i cant control her
& she is who she is & she doesnt give a fuck what anyone think
& blah blah blah blah.
i donno what to do.
she doesnt live @ home ne more.
and i dunno how to get ahold of her even if i wanted to.
i hear all these rumors about her, and how shes doing lately...
and people come to me asking me for the truth cos they figure
"hey her & jackie are like sisters, she should know..."
and i'm shocked half the time i hear what they tell me
& i have no answers or explanations.
i cant even defend her & tell people to stop talking shit
cos for all i know it could be true?
i told my mom that its been bothering me
& said "sometimes people just grow apart"
& i always knew it would be hard to stay really close w/ her
cos she goes to a different school, i have a job now,
i havent really been out with our old crowd in forever
& the plans we made always fell thru
but we always kept in touch on the fone or online...
and now its just like, i have no idea what shes been up to.
we've had our distant times & we would always bounce back
but never like this
& all i can do is hope it goes back to how it used to be.
we were inseperable during the summer,
& now i barely speak to her.
i was just cleaning my room,
& glanced @ one of the many pictures of her in my room
& realized i miss her so much.
last time we talked i was kinda mean
& she got mad & just hung up on me.
but i was so angry at her for being so retarded lately.
shes making incredibly stupid mistakes...
& basically throwing her life away.
i feel so weird about her now,
i wanna b there for her & help her
but at the same time im so pissed off @ her for being so dumb?
& i kno if i talk to her & tell her what i feel,
she'll think im being all motherly, and get defensive & tell me
that i have no idea what im talking about & im not with her daily
& that i donno what shes going thru & i cant control her
& she is who she is & she doesnt give a fuck what anyone think
& blah blah blah blah.
i donno what to do.
she doesnt live @ home ne more.
and i dunno how to get ahold of her even if i wanted to.
i hear all these rumors about her, and how shes doing lately...
and people come to me asking me for the truth cos they figure
"hey her & jackie are like sisters, she should know..."
and i'm shocked half the time i hear what they tell me
& i have no answers or explanations.
i cant even defend her & tell people to stop talking shit
cos for all i know it could be true?
i told my mom that its been bothering me
& said "sometimes people just grow apart"
& i always knew it would be hard to stay really close w/ her
cos she goes to a different school, i have a job now,
i havent really been out with our old crowd in forever
& the plans we made always fell thru
but we always kept in touch on the fone or online...
and now its just like, i have no idea what shes been up to.
we've had our distant times & we would always bounce back
but never like this
& all i can do is hope it goes back to how it used to be.