totally emo entry...
im in a horrible mood.
i donno why? i was fine earlier...
but then i got to thinking,
and im really fucking pissed about a lot of things.
people are fake assholes.
i have like NO girlfriends ne more.
its ridiculous.
i mean yeah i have girlfriends i say hi to, and chat with...
but no like SERIOUS friendships.
& no friendships where i pick up the fone
& call them to see if they wanna go shopping together or sumthing.
i dont even wanna make an attempt to be friends (or rebuild friendships) with any girls,
because i feel like every time i do, i put in so much effort & they juss fuck me over.
so its kina useless.
i dont want a million girlfriends
and i dont want a little "clique"
and i dont want someone to be with 24/7...
ive had all that before, and yeah it was fun, but obviously it couldnt have been true friendships,
because i'm not really even friends with them ne more?
sometimes i see girls that i used to concider my "LYKE OMFG BFF444L"...
& the most they can say to me is hi & bye.
maybe its just me.
maybe thers something that i do wrong that a lot of girls dont like about me?
maybe im over-reacting?
i have millions of pictures in my room of different times ive had with different girl friends,
and sometimes i question why i still have them up in my room.
i havent even talked to some of thoes girls in years,
its like i have pictures of strangers & i
all over the walls of my room?
sometimes i just want to take them all down
most of the time i have this whole "fuck it, i dont need any bitches as friends"
attitude...
i just remind myself of all the bullshit different girls that have been close to me
have done to me...and i dont feel so bad.
honestly, i have more guy friends than i ever thought possible.
ive always gotten along better with guys & have always been able to talk to them more
& now its just like they're the only friends i have.
i guess its because most guys arent all dramatic & petty & i know if i tell them something,
it probably wont be repeated or gossiped about
cos half the time guys cant remember anything you tell them.
but eventually guys' perverted jokes and immaturity gets old...
so im just like fuck. its times like these i need atleast a few girlfriends.
i need to make more (girl)friends.
but damn, girls are bitches. ((myself included.))
eh, whatever.
...ANYFUCKINGWAYS...
on a much brighter note,
i went to the mall today!
and i saw a lot of people i knew.
((which all happend to be GUYS))
i saw justin from churchill, my little freshman love!
well hes not a freshman any more,
and MY GOD he's grown.
hes freaking huge now, and all muscular like a big football player.
he picked me up & squeezed me to death wen he saw me. :)
after his attempt to convince me of going back to churchill,
((@ which he definately failed))i had to go.
and then i saw mike & gary & stopped to say hi
& then realized i left one of my shopping bags in a dressing room
and i juss kina took off sprinting toward the store i left it in...
literally like mid sentence, lol.
i got my bag back tho, thank god!
& then a 20 something year old lady approached me in bebe
& just TOTALLY struck up a conversation...?
it was kina weird, but kina sweet.
maybe she was a lesbian? ha.
randy comes home tomorrow, i wanna see him.
i told my mom i needed time out & away from my house
& she said i could take her car out for a few hours tomorrow.
i just wanna get in & drive a really long distance.
& im out <3
i donno why? i was fine earlier...
but then i got to thinking,
and im really fucking pissed about a lot of things.
people are fake assholes.
i have like NO girlfriends ne more.
its ridiculous.
i mean yeah i have girlfriends i say hi to, and chat with...
but no like SERIOUS friendships.
& no friendships where i pick up the fone
& call them to see if they wanna go shopping together or sumthing.
i dont even wanna make an attempt to be friends (or rebuild friendships) with any girls,
because i feel like every time i do, i put in so much effort & they juss fuck me over.
so its kina useless.
i dont want a million girlfriends
and i dont want a little "clique"
and i dont want someone to be with 24/7...
ive had all that before, and yeah it was fun, but obviously it couldnt have been true friendships,
because i'm not really even friends with them ne more?
sometimes i see girls that i used to concider my "LYKE OMFG BFF444L"...
& the most they can say to me is hi & bye.
maybe its just me.
maybe thers something that i do wrong that a lot of girls dont like about me?
maybe im over-reacting?
i have millions of pictures in my room of different times ive had with different girl friends,
and sometimes i question why i still have them up in my room.
i havent even talked to some of thoes girls in years,
its like i have pictures of strangers & i
all over the walls of my room?
sometimes i just want to take them all down
most of the time i have this whole "fuck it, i dont need any bitches as friends"
attitude...
i just remind myself of all the bullshit different girls that have been close to me
have done to me...and i dont feel so bad.
honestly, i have more guy friends than i ever thought possible.
ive always gotten along better with guys & have always been able to talk to them more
& now its just like they're the only friends i have.
i guess its because most guys arent all dramatic & petty & i know if i tell them something,
it probably wont be repeated or gossiped about
cos half the time guys cant remember anything you tell them.
but eventually guys' perverted jokes and immaturity gets old...
so im just like fuck. its times like these i need atleast a few girlfriends.
i need to make more (girl)friends.
but damn, girls are bitches. ((myself included.))
eh, whatever.
...ANYFUCKINGWAYS...
on a much brighter note,
i went to the mall today!
and i saw a lot of people i knew.
((which all happend to be GUYS))
i saw justin from churchill, my little freshman love!
well hes not a freshman any more,
and MY GOD he's grown.
hes freaking huge now, and all muscular like a big football player.
he picked me up & squeezed me to death wen he saw me. :)
after his attempt to convince me of going back to churchill,
((@ which he definately failed))i had to go.
and then i saw mike & gary & stopped to say hi
& then realized i left one of my shopping bags in a dressing room
and i juss kina took off sprinting toward the store i left it in...
literally like mid sentence, lol.
i got my bag back tho, thank god!
& then a 20 something year old lady approached me in bebe
& just TOTALLY struck up a conversation...?
it was kina weird, but kina sweet.
maybe she was a lesbian? ha.
randy comes home tomorrow, i wanna see him.
i told my mom i needed time out & away from my house
& she said i could take her car out for a few hours tomorrow.
i just wanna get in & drive a really long distance.
& im out <3