Flight 109 - Destination: First Love [Chapter 11]
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am so so so sorry for being MIA for a while (as in more that a month). I hope you guys didn't give up on me yet :) So I hope this chapter is long enough to make it up to you guys for not updating for a month. I can't promise you when I can update again, but I promise you it won't be as long as I've been updating this chapter. RL has been a pain, but things are looking up now and giving me some free time to do some fangirling (translate as writing this fic :D)
This chapter refers to things that happened on the last chapters of ON/OFF SCREEN. Well as most of the readers here have read it, if I am not mistaken, so I guess it wouldn't be much of a problem. Even tho, I believe you could still understand this chapter without any knowledge of that fic.
The story is inspired by yeppie . As usual, comments, inputs and criticisms are highly appreciated. And if you haven't read the previous chapter you can always refer to the master post.
The airplane icon marks the present time. 30-31 August 2013.
The cloud icon marks the past. Around the year of 2006.
「CHAPTER 11: ROMEO AND JULIET」
Matsumoto Jun closes the toilet lid and sits down on it as he feels the airplane he is in soaring into the air. He releases a deep breath as he slouches down his body. He has lied again. He hates to lie. But he just had to. Or else he would lose it right then, right there. Or else he would do the things he has been stopping himself to do ever since he laid his eyes on her earlier that day. Or else he would have to betray his own idealism. His own idealism that is to not stray from his current love life.
But when Minako's hand touched his, the first layer of his defense breaks away. Jun does his best to keep himself from embracing her and never ever would let her go. What breaks his heart more is that he fully realizes that it was not lust that urges him to pull her closer.
It is longing. It is yearning.
He still misses her. So much that it is killing him spending the day with her within arm's distance but not able to truly hold her in those very arms.
Jun takes a deep breath again, washing his face with his two dry palms.
"Baka!" He curses himself, "I can't do this to Rei.."
Rei.. He remembers. He remembers her last call before he boarded the plane. He remembers her sad tone. He remembers how he feels that she knows what's at stake at this very moment.
"What a birthday," He can only say that to himself as he lies his back to the wall.
And the weirdest thing is, as his mind is filled with faces of the two women he dearly loves with all his heart, both have such distinct images.
The image of Minako is she lights up the room with her smile. It is as if everytime he remembers her smile, his mood gets brighten up as well. It is one of the most wonderful thing about her. She can cheer him up even only as a memory. For years after they broke up. His memory of her smile is his sanctuary.
The image of Rei is her intense eyes, crying as she watches him left her that day. And how he hates to see her cry. How he wants to wrap these hands around her to protect her from all godawful matters in this world. Something that he has intended to do for the rest of his life the last time he boarded a plane.
"To make Minako smiles brighter is to make Rei cries harder.." He talks to himself again. This time to his reflection on the mirror in front of him as he stands up and washes his hands with the running cold water by the sink.
When he realizes what has crossed his own mind, he scoffs, "You're so full of yourself, Jun.."
He may never stops loving her, but all they have now is bittersweet memories they've been dancing with all day. The moment their plane touches down to earth, it would be another goodbye. They would wake up from this dream and come back to reality where their love story has shattered into pieces. Where everything has been over for years already and there's no going back. Where both lives have gone on.
For some reason, he can feel a lump in his throat as the realization sinks in. But he tries to ignore it. He takes another deep breath instead, hoping it would do the lump some good. His straightens his own shirt, preparing to leave.
But when he finally walks out of the toilet, the first thing he sees is Minako by her own seat. She is holding a piece of jewelry in her hands. Jun narrows his eyes and walks closer to get a better look.
The plane gives a strong jolt getting through some turbulence as if mirroring his heart.
It is his ring. The ring he has prepared months ago to give to Rei. Something he should have given months ago before she even left. But he hesitated. He never admits to himself that he hesitated. Not until now.
Jun doesn't look away from Minako's back. Her finger traces every inch of that ring. Her shoulders are trembling.
Jun doesn't need to see her face nor tears to know that she's weeping. He stops there. A couple of metres behind her, watching her.
And that lump in his throat is throbbing, defining its existence further.
"Excuse me, sir," A lady's voice wakes him up from his thoughts. The voice is loud enough for Minako to hear as well. "Would you please go back to your seat?" The pretty stewardess warns him with a smile.
Jun nods firmly, his eyes are still on Minako's back. He can tell from her movements that she is stuffing the ring back to his bag and wiping all her tears in one quick movement. And when Jun finally gets back to his seat, Minako looks up and smiles brightly with no traces of any sadness she must have felt.
The lump in Jun's throat throbs even stronger because of that. But he could only smile back to her.
As he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, putting back his seatbelt under the watchful eyes of the stewardess, he lets out a sigh.
The plane gives a stronger jolt again this time. He can hear Minako gasps a little. She is never that fond of flying, he knows. And he can't help but smile as Minako smiles to herself when she feels Jun's eyes on her.
And the thing about that smile, the thing about that sanctuary of Jun's, it has its magic.
He can feel the lump in his throat fades away as he finally gives in with what his heart tells him to do.
He reaches out for her hand. Holding it tightly into his, as tight as if he has no intention of letting it go.
Minako opens her mouth wide with that touch. She eyes that touch carefully, as if recording every second of it to treasure for later. And squeeze his hand just as tight. As if she has no intention of letting it go as well.
She closes her eyes. It is time to sleep, and as Jun shifts his seating position to be closer to her, she comfortably lays her head on his shoulder. Jun also lays his on top of her head, after giving it a soft kiss.
She wishes she would dream again about the past.
---
"How could he?" Kitashiro Rei hisses in disbelief, eyeing each 3 members of Arashi one by one as if it is them that has broken her heart.
"How could he do that to you guys?" She repeats the question almost in a whisper, almost as if she is asking herself.
Ninomiya Kazunari, who is slouching on the couch, just scoffs, "Come on, Rei-chan, you almost did that for Jun yourself."
Rei and the rest of the boys, Aiba Masaki and Ohno Satoshi, can only gape at his harsh words.
"What?" Nino answers the look that they are giving him, "You did, didn't you? You almost gave up your career for him. And if it wasn't for him to break up with you so that you can come back to your senses, you would have done that without a second thought!"
"It was different!" Rei raises her voice and body to face the boy she thinks as her best of friends.
"It was exactly the same!" Nino doesn't stand down and raises his own voice as well, "The difference is just that you don't have any bandmates."
"Which makes the whole thing pretty different since..." Rei tries to reason.
But Nino cuts her in mid sentence, "No, it is not! Yes, Jun tries to quit on Arashi, but he wouldn't stop being our friend even if he did. Even if he never came back to Arashi, he would still be my brother."
"Nino.." Ohno touches Nino's shoulder softly, but Nino pushes his hand away.
"Don't 'Nino' me!" Nino snaps, his voice starts to waiver, "Yes, I did feel betrayed by him when he said he would quit Arashi for that girl. Yes, I feel like hating her as well like the rest of you guys. But, most of all, more than all that.. I've always envied him, you know?"
Nino tries to calm himself down by taking a few breaths, "I used to envy him for being the most popular amongst us all. For his talents. For his hard work. Don't get me wrong, but it is the motivation I need to be as good as him, even better, to work hard as well, or else I won't get to be where I am now. I envied him for winning your love, Rei-chan, but that as well is nothing compares to the envy I felt for him that day. I envy him for that foolishness. For having the guts to betray us all for a girl he truly loved."
And a tear starts to roll down Nino's cheek.
"You would never know the things I've sacrificed to be where I am now, Rei. And I couldn't say I have no regrets because I do! I couldn't hope but wonder what would become of me if only, if only I was as foolish as Jun that time. If only I was a fool enough to fight for my own love that way.. If only I forget about all morality bullshits and do what my heart tells me to do.. If only.. "
But he only takes a deep breath after it, doesn't have the power to finish the sentence.
Aiba tries to explain in a whisper to Rei, "Nino broke up with his girlfriend a long time ago. She is.."
"Don't you dare say her name!" Nino snaps again. "You know very well I don't talk about her. She has become a past. If only now I get another chance to get that kind of love again, I'll give up everything. I'll do what Jun did if needed, I swear."
"And Rei-chan," he calls out to her again in a softer voice, "Don't you dare play the victim. Or put us as the victim. It would be a lie if you said you wouldn't do that if you were in his position. Or wish you could have done that."
Rei could only answer with a tear that rolls down her own cheek.
"Now you understand, don't you?" Nino asks again, "You understand why Jun broke up with you that one time?"
Rei nods softly.
After a while, she finally answers in a whisper, "It reminds him of what he did to Minako. He told me that. He doesn't want that kind of love anymore. Not from us. He said.. he said.. Romeo and Juliet doesn't have a healthy relationship.."
"Minako said that to him," Ohno mumbles.
"She did?" Aiba asks.
"He told me once about it.." Ohno answers with a nostalgic smile.
"Romeo and Juliet.." Nino repeats in a low voice, "Who cares if it is unhealthy. It is still the greatest love story ever told."
Silence creeps up the room for a long while.
"So why did he come back?" Rei finally breaks the silence that seems to have waited for her to do that.
"Come back to Arashi?"
"Yes.."
"Minako broke up with him.."
"What?" Rei doesn't expect that answer. "Why?"
"We don't know," Aiba answers with an apologetic smile. "That time Jun went missing for weeks. The next thing we knew, he came back to us with a broken heart.."
"He asks us to take him back with tears in his eyes," Ohno remembers, "He asks for forgiveness.. Begging us.."
"That baka. He doesn't need to beg," Nino scoffs at the memory.
"But.." Something still doesn't make any sense to Rei, "Why did she leave him? She loved him, right?"
"Judging by how she left him just like that, maybe she didn't love him as much as he did.." Aiba tries to reason.
"Baka. Of course she did," Nino defends the Romeo and Juliet again.
"Why are you so sure?" Ohno can't help to not ask.
"Because I know the reason she broke up with him. Hell, even Jun didn't know what I know.."
"What?" All three now gape at the short guy.
"Sho-kun is the one who told me."
"WHAT?" All three now barks the question in unison.
"How come Sho-kun takes a part on this? What happened? How come we didn't know any of this?" Aiba storms Nino with questions. Lots of it.
Nino thinks for a while. "I think I am not the right guy to answer that."
"Why Sho-kun?" Rei wonders to herself out loud.
Nino pats her back lightly, "It might surprise you, it did surprise me as well. But he is the only one who replies with the word 'I understand, Jun-kun' when Jun decided to leave Arashi for Minako."
Aiba nods in agreement, "He is the only one who defended him that time."
"Why?" Rei still doesn't understand it.
"Rei-chan, you remember the impressions you gave us when you guested in Himitsu No Arashi-chan?" Ohno asks her.
"Yes?" Rei tries to remember, "I said how he is the perfect guy.."
"You also commented how he is so predictable that he is boring.." Nino reminds her a point.
"Well, even though at times that would be a spot on description of him, sometimes he would totally surprise you.." Ohno nods to himself.
"Just like water you know. When you see that the water is calm, it has a strong current underneath!" Aiba is so proud of the metaphor he came up with.
"So he has an unpredictable side," Rei starts to feel impatient with the non-direct answers the boys gave her. "But how come he suddenly he has a big part in this story?"
Nino grins wide and walks back to the couch.
"I guess Sho-kun should be the one to narrate that part of the story." He finally answers in his sing-songy voice. "That is, after he comes back from Fukuoka tomorrow morning. Actually in a couple of hours. He has promised he would give us a call."
Now Nino is back to his old position, slouching on the couch, not caring with all the anticipation of the Romeo and Juliet story. Not caring that he leaves a major cliffhanger right there, right then. But they'll find out soon, anyway.
That is, until Sho-kun gets back to Tokyo.
---
For the rest of the night, Rei couldn't close her eyes even for a second. Not even for a blink of an eye.
Voices are ringing in her ears. Nino's. Ohno's. Aiba's. And most of all, Jun's. Jun's voice triggers her longing of him more, her jealousy for Minako, her hate of this situation where she can't do anything but wait.
Nino's voice makes her feel guilty about feeling all this. Feeling jealous of Jun's past and what may come the moment he is back in Tokyo. Would things ever be the same again, she wonders. Would their relationship stays the way it used to be? Would she accept everything with an open heart, knowing that deep inside him, he still loves her?
"Hanazono Minako," She whispers the name to herself.
No, not spiteful. Yes, Rei is green with jealousy after hearing how in such a different way Jun loved that girl. But somehow, someway, Rei finds herself understanding the girl. Well they surely have something in common for sure. They both love Jun dearly, which she can completely understands.
On second thought, she hasn't take a good look on her picture that night. She's too scared to face the reality the picture gives her. Jun and Minako's love still strongly radiates through the 7 year old picture and it scares the shit out of her.
Rei takes a deep breath and gets up from the bed. Reaching out for the box that has started all this. It still sits where she has left it earlier tonight, near Jun's huge wardrobe.
She sits next to it and opens it again, intentionally this time.
And there they are, the Romeo and Juliet, kissing in front of the camera.
And there it is, the pink envelope she has been dying to read but didn't dare to show it to the boys.
So what is it again that Nino said about morality bullshits? About if only people could forget all about it and do what their heart tells them to do?
With that thought in mind, Rei takes a deep breath and opens the envelope.
A letter is enclosed inside it.
From Minako, To Jun. Sender's address is from Vancouver, Canada. Dated on September 10, 2007. Handwritten in scrawly handwriting. Traces that the letter has been read so many times before could be read from how it's crumpled on every edge. Traces of teardrops can be seen even years later as it smeared some ink. Rei lets out a smile at the irony of it.
She starts to read.
Dearest Jun-kun,
Genki?
I know that shouldn't be the first word I uttered to you after all what happened. But when I tried to think about something else, I couldn't come up with any. Well actually I did. You wouldn't know how many letters I have written you but never get sent. But I decided against something sappy that sounds so desperate.
After some months, I've finally decided to write this one and actually send it to you.
You wouldn't believe the cold in Vancouver. You wouldn't believe the hole in my heart without you filling it.
I know I shouldn't said that. Especially since I am the one who decided to leave you. And don't even think that it was easy for me. It was anything but easy.
But I didn't regret to leave you Jun. I just want to tell you that.
I didn't feel even an ounce of regret. Not after I received your Arashi Around Asia DVD. Not after I saw Hanadan Returns, Boku wa Imouto ni Koi wo Suru and Bambino. Not after I saw such a man you've become.
I would not be the girl to stand between you and Arashi. I would not be the girl to stand between you and the bigger man you could eventually become if you've never met me.
I have always been your fan, now and forever.
And whenever you hear the squeals, in concerts or performances, please remember, within those voices, there's one of mine. That would forever love you for who you are and pray for your well being and would only wish what's best for you.
From the bottom of my heart I wish one day we could meet again and laugh everything off and we could become best of friends. And we will fight again, like we always do.
But I know it is impossible. It hurts too much to ever be laughable.
Please, forgive me for not being as brave as you are. As foolish as you are.
If you do understand, please stop emailing me. Stop calling. You're making it harder than it already is. You should focus with what's in front of you, which I am really not right now.
I am just a fragment of your past. As you are a fragment of mine.
A past I would not ever forget. A fragment I'd always keep close to my heart and treasure it as my most prized memories. They are the most beautiful. They are the happiest moments of all. Even when we fight all the time. Even if you always make me want to pull out my hair out of frustration. If only Romeo and Juliet had a healthy relationship..
I'd always love you.
Your Juliet,
Minako.
At the other side of the letter, Minako has written what seemed to be verses of a song or a poem. She didn't include the title, or what it is, but the words are heartbreaking. Somehow Rei could feel how they express the cries in Minako's heart better than the strong facade she's written on her actual letter.
As we stood hand in hand in front of the ticket gate, there came another wind, just as stirring as the rest
I was supposed to see you off cheerfully, but without even being able to smile very well I just looked at you
I hope that, as you mature, that season won't overflow with sad songs
In our last moments, I wanted to tell something to you, so I searched for something to say in place of "good-bye"
I'd thought that it was my duty to take you and lead you by the hand
But now I understand; for us, the days that piled up together are the ones leading the way
As the time that you mature keeps increasing, I realize that I myself am changing as well
For example, if there are any songs like this one there, then we can always go on; connected to one another.
All at once, a bell resounded, and I, in a hurry, let go of your hand and you began to walk away
In a daze, I called out to you and held you tightly, close to my body
Wherever you go, I will project you with my voice
Ever since the day you came into my life, I started to look at anything and everything differently
Mornings, light, tears, and singing voices
You gave me light
All these heavy feelings are all put into this voice of mine, so that it can reach the far away town where you are
For example, if there are any songs like this one there,
we can always go on; connected to one another.
As Rei finishes reading everything, she weeps uncontrollably. Her shoulders are shaking and her lung is gasping for air from all the sadness that sweeps over her.
But this time, she cries not only for herself.
She also cries for Minako.
She also cries for Jun.
---
A strong jolt wakes Hanazono Minako up from her slumber.
She wakes up besides her true love, who is half asleep himself, surrounded by lightning that slices through the dark sky.
"What's that?" Minako gasps as she feels a stronger jolt.
Jun puts his arm around her and pulls her head close to his chest, half-realizing how intimate he is being with her in his half-asleep state.
"It's just turbulence.." He softly mumbles.
The plane shakes again, stronger and longer this time around.
"Some turbulence!" Minako feels the fear creeping up her chest. She looks up to Jun who still has his eyes at close. "Jun-kun, wake up!"
"Minako, would you just calm down.." Jun tries to shake away his drowsiness. But he starts to hear people behind them in Economy class starts to get as panicked as Minako is. The turbulence is surely something else.
He takes a deep breath. He has been in many flights, and even though this turbulence is the strongest he has experienced ever, he refuses to show his fear.
"It's just bad weather," He tightens his hold around Minako's shoulders, hoping it will calm her down. "It'll be over soon."
But this time, Jun is all wrong. The seatbelt sign is light up and after that a series of a much stronger jolts shake the plane all over. So strong that it loosens Jun's grip on Minako. So strong that the bags in front of them are slipping away to the other side of the plane.
"Over soon, my ass!"Minako pushes Jun away, transferring her fear into anger.
"Geez, Minako, it is so not the time to fight!"
Another jolt.
"Well if you would just wake up and face the reality that this plane is in trouble, we wouldn't fight!"
"I am waking up now! It is just turbulence!"
"It is not! We are falling! We are dying!"
A much much stronger jolt. The plane is now shaking uncontrollaby.
"See? Face that reality!"
"What reality?"
"You're a liar!"
"What?"
"I found your ring! I am not the only one you said 'ashiteru' at! You said it would be the last time you would say that word!"
As the plane is still shaking them, Jun's heart is shaken by Minako's sudden confession. She bursts in tears of fear, anger and a broken, no, shattered heart.
Most of all, Jun couldn't believe that she actually chooses to fight with him and then confess to him in a moment of life and death. It is so unlikely that the situation is almost funny. Almost.
"What?" Jun asks in a soft voice, hardly believes in what he just heard.
"You are going to propose to your girlfriend and I still love you so much that it hurts! I've never stopped loving you! I don't care if I die tonight as long as I can be with you!"
The lump in his throat is back again. He tries to swallow it whole. The Economy passengers are now screaming in fear, but Jun doesn't hear them anymore.
"Don't you hear me, Jun? I said I still.." Minako fires again, but this time she doesn't get to finish what she is about to say.
Because Jun already pulls her into a kiss before she can utter another word. His lips onto hers. He kisses her hungrily, hungry of every touch of her skin, hungry of every traces of her lips. As if this kiss is his method of survival and he wouldn't live without the touch of her lips on his.
And at that moment, Minako forgets all fears. Minako forgets all the shaking of the plane, all the jolts. All she cares is the jolt Jun's kisses create in her heart right now.
Without even wasting another moment, she kisses him back. Just as hungry. Just as desperate.
They could drown forever in that kiss. They don't care as they don't even try to gasp for air. They could very well be dying right now, but it is not the most important thing for them right now. The most important thing is each other, enveloped in each other's arms.
And as if there's some magic beneath that kiss, all the shaking, jolts and thunders subside. Along with the screaming of the Economy passengers.
The storm fades away and the plane flies to a clear dark sky. Flying elegantly through it. For a moment, all they can hear is silence.
They break away the kiss and look into each other eyes.
The pilot breaks the silence from the speakers.
"Ladies and Gentleman, we've just got through bad weather that has caused the strong turbulence. We are very sorry for the inconvenience it may caused you. Please be calm as everything has been taken under control and we will be arriving in Tokyo on schedule. Please fasten your seatbelts as long as you are seated for unexpected future turbulence."
Minako's dazed expression breaks into a big smile.
"It's magic.." She whispers softly as Jun's nose brushes onto hers softly.
"What's magic?" He asks in a husky voice.
"Our kiss.."
Jun just gotta laugh at that, "Baka."
And closes in for another kiss.
He knows he will feel guilty afterwards. But his heart tells otherwise he can't resist any longer. He knows that this is the betrayal that he has always hated. But his heart tells otherwise and he can't fight it anymore.
He doesn't know that betrayal can feel this, well, magical.
Continue to Chapter 12
This chapter refers to things that happened on the last chapters of ON/OFF SCREEN. Well as most of the readers here have read it, if I am not mistaken, so I guess it wouldn't be much of a problem. Even tho, I believe you could still understand this chapter without any knowledge of that fic.
The story is inspired by yeppie . As usual, comments, inputs and criticisms are highly appreciated. And if you haven't read the previous chapter you can always refer to the master post.
The airplane icon marks the present time. 30-31 August 2013.
The cloud icon marks the past. Around the year of 2006.
「CHAPTER 11: ROMEO AND JULIET」
Matsumoto Jun closes the toilet lid and sits down on it as he feels the airplane he is in soaring into the air. He releases a deep breath as he slouches down his body. He has lied again. He hates to lie. But he just had to. Or else he would lose it right then, right there. Or else he would do the things he has been stopping himself to do ever since he laid his eyes on her earlier that day. Or else he would have to betray his own idealism. His own idealism that is to not stray from his current love life.
But when Minako's hand touched his, the first layer of his defense breaks away. Jun does his best to keep himself from embracing her and never ever would let her go. What breaks his heart more is that he fully realizes that it was not lust that urges him to pull her closer.
It is longing. It is yearning.
He still misses her. So much that it is killing him spending the day with her within arm's distance but not able to truly hold her in those very arms.
Jun takes a deep breath again, washing his face with his two dry palms.
"Baka!" He curses himself, "I can't do this to Rei.."
Rei.. He remembers. He remembers her last call before he boarded the plane. He remembers her sad tone. He remembers how he feels that she knows what's at stake at this very moment.
"What a birthday," He can only say that to himself as he lies his back to the wall.
And the weirdest thing is, as his mind is filled with faces of the two women he dearly loves with all his heart, both have such distinct images.
The image of Minako is she lights up the room with her smile. It is as if everytime he remembers her smile, his mood gets brighten up as well. It is one of the most wonderful thing about her. She can cheer him up even only as a memory. For years after they broke up. His memory of her smile is his sanctuary.
The image of Rei is her intense eyes, crying as she watches him left her that day. And how he hates to see her cry. How he wants to wrap these hands around her to protect her from all godawful matters in this world. Something that he has intended to do for the rest of his life the last time he boarded a plane.
"To make Minako smiles brighter is to make Rei cries harder.." He talks to himself again. This time to his reflection on the mirror in front of him as he stands up and washes his hands with the running cold water by the sink.
When he realizes what has crossed his own mind, he scoffs, "You're so full of yourself, Jun.."
He may never stops loving her, but all they have now is bittersweet memories they've been dancing with all day. The moment their plane touches down to earth, it would be another goodbye. They would wake up from this dream and come back to reality where their love story has shattered into pieces. Where everything has been over for years already and there's no going back. Where both lives have gone on.
For some reason, he can feel a lump in his throat as the realization sinks in. But he tries to ignore it. He takes another deep breath instead, hoping it would do the lump some good. His straightens his own shirt, preparing to leave.
But when he finally walks out of the toilet, the first thing he sees is Minako by her own seat. She is holding a piece of jewelry in her hands. Jun narrows his eyes and walks closer to get a better look.
The plane gives a strong jolt getting through some turbulence as if mirroring his heart.
It is his ring. The ring he has prepared months ago to give to Rei. Something he should have given months ago before she even left. But he hesitated. He never admits to himself that he hesitated. Not until now.
Jun doesn't look away from Minako's back. Her finger traces every inch of that ring. Her shoulders are trembling.
Jun doesn't need to see her face nor tears to know that she's weeping. He stops there. A couple of metres behind her, watching her.
And that lump in his throat is throbbing, defining its existence further.
"Excuse me, sir," A lady's voice wakes him up from his thoughts. The voice is loud enough for Minako to hear as well. "Would you please go back to your seat?" The pretty stewardess warns him with a smile.
Jun nods firmly, his eyes are still on Minako's back. He can tell from her movements that she is stuffing the ring back to his bag and wiping all her tears in one quick movement. And when Jun finally gets back to his seat, Minako looks up and smiles brightly with no traces of any sadness she must have felt.
The lump in Jun's throat throbs even stronger because of that. But he could only smile back to her.
As he shifts uncomfortably in his seat, putting back his seatbelt under the watchful eyes of the stewardess, he lets out a sigh.
The plane gives a stronger jolt again this time. He can hear Minako gasps a little. She is never that fond of flying, he knows. And he can't help but smile as Minako smiles to herself when she feels Jun's eyes on her.
And the thing about that smile, the thing about that sanctuary of Jun's, it has its magic.
He can feel the lump in his throat fades away as he finally gives in with what his heart tells him to do.
He reaches out for her hand. Holding it tightly into his, as tight as if he has no intention of letting it go.
Minako opens her mouth wide with that touch. She eyes that touch carefully, as if recording every second of it to treasure for later. And squeeze his hand just as tight. As if she has no intention of letting it go as well.
She closes her eyes. It is time to sleep, and as Jun shifts his seating position to be closer to her, she comfortably lays her head on his shoulder. Jun also lays his on top of her head, after giving it a soft kiss.
She wishes she would dream again about the past.
---
"How could he?" Kitashiro Rei hisses in disbelief, eyeing each 3 members of Arashi one by one as if it is them that has broken her heart.
"How could he do that to you guys?" She repeats the question almost in a whisper, almost as if she is asking herself.
Ninomiya Kazunari, who is slouching on the couch, just scoffs, "Come on, Rei-chan, you almost did that for Jun yourself."
Rei and the rest of the boys, Aiba Masaki and Ohno Satoshi, can only gape at his harsh words.
"What?" Nino answers the look that they are giving him, "You did, didn't you? You almost gave up your career for him. And if it wasn't for him to break up with you so that you can come back to your senses, you would have done that without a second thought!"
"It was different!" Rei raises her voice and body to face the boy she thinks as her best of friends.
"It was exactly the same!" Nino doesn't stand down and raises his own voice as well, "The difference is just that you don't have any bandmates."
"Which makes the whole thing pretty different since..." Rei tries to reason.
But Nino cuts her in mid sentence, "No, it is not! Yes, Jun tries to quit on Arashi, but he wouldn't stop being our friend even if he did. Even if he never came back to Arashi, he would still be my brother."
"Nino.." Ohno touches Nino's shoulder softly, but Nino pushes his hand away.
"Don't 'Nino' me!" Nino snaps, his voice starts to waiver, "Yes, I did feel betrayed by him when he said he would quit Arashi for that girl. Yes, I feel like hating her as well like the rest of you guys. But, most of all, more than all that.. I've always envied him, you know?"
Nino tries to calm himself down by taking a few breaths, "I used to envy him for being the most popular amongst us all. For his talents. For his hard work. Don't get me wrong, but it is the motivation I need to be as good as him, even better, to work hard as well, or else I won't get to be where I am now. I envied him for winning your love, Rei-chan, but that as well is nothing compares to the envy I felt for him that day. I envy him for that foolishness. For having the guts to betray us all for a girl he truly loved."
And a tear starts to roll down Nino's cheek.
"You would never know the things I've sacrificed to be where I am now, Rei. And I couldn't say I have no regrets because I do! I couldn't hope but wonder what would become of me if only, if only I was as foolish as Jun that time. If only I was a fool enough to fight for my own love that way.. If only I forget about all morality bullshits and do what my heart tells me to do.. If only.. "
But he only takes a deep breath after it, doesn't have the power to finish the sentence.
Aiba tries to explain in a whisper to Rei, "Nino broke up with his girlfriend a long time ago. She is.."
"Don't you dare say her name!" Nino snaps again. "You know very well I don't talk about her. She has become a past. If only now I get another chance to get that kind of love again, I'll give up everything. I'll do what Jun did if needed, I swear."
"And Rei-chan," he calls out to her again in a softer voice, "Don't you dare play the victim. Or put us as the victim. It would be a lie if you said you wouldn't do that if you were in his position. Or wish you could have done that."
Rei could only answer with a tear that rolls down her own cheek.
"Now you understand, don't you?" Nino asks again, "You understand why Jun broke up with you that one time?"
Rei nods softly.
After a while, she finally answers in a whisper, "It reminds him of what he did to Minako. He told me that. He doesn't want that kind of love anymore. Not from us. He said.. he said.. Romeo and Juliet doesn't have a healthy relationship.."
"Minako said that to him," Ohno mumbles.
"She did?" Aiba asks.
"He told me once about it.." Ohno answers with a nostalgic smile.
"Romeo and Juliet.." Nino repeats in a low voice, "Who cares if it is unhealthy. It is still the greatest love story ever told."
Silence creeps up the room for a long while.
"So why did he come back?" Rei finally breaks the silence that seems to have waited for her to do that.
"Come back to Arashi?"
"Yes.."
"Minako broke up with him.."
"What?" Rei doesn't expect that answer. "Why?"
"We don't know," Aiba answers with an apologetic smile. "That time Jun went missing for weeks. The next thing we knew, he came back to us with a broken heart.."
"He asks us to take him back with tears in his eyes," Ohno remembers, "He asks for forgiveness.. Begging us.."
"That baka. He doesn't need to beg," Nino scoffs at the memory.
"But.." Something still doesn't make any sense to Rei, "Why did she leave him? She loved him, right?"
"Judging by how she left him just like that, maybe she didn't love him as much as he did.." Aiba tries to reason.
"Baka. Of course she did," Nino defends the Romeo and Juliet again.
"Why are you so sure?" Ohno can't help to not ask.
"Because I know the reason she broke up with him. Hell, even Jun didn't know what I know.."
"What?" All three now gape at the short guy.
"Sho-kun is the one who told me."
"WHAT?" All three now barks the question in unison.
"How come Sho-kun takes a part on this? What happened? How come we didn't know any of this?" Aiba storms Nino with questions. Lots of it.
Nino thinks for a while. "I think I am not the right guy to answer that."
"Why Sho-kun?" Rei wonders to herself out loud.
Nino pats her back lightly, "It might surprise you, it did surprise me as well. But he is the only one who replies with the word 'I understand, Jun-kun' when Jun decided to leave Arashi for Minako."
Aiba nods in agreement, "He is the only one who defended him that time."
"Why?" Rei still doesn't understand it.
"Rei-chan, you remember the impressions you gave us when you guested in Himitsu No Arashi-chan?" Ohno asks her.
"Yes?" Rei tries to remember, "I said how he is the perfect guy.."
"You also commented how he is so predictable that he is boring.." Nino reminds her a point.
"Well, even though at times that would be a spot on description of him, sometimes he would totally surprise you.." Ohno nods to himself.
"Just like water you know. When you see that the water is calm, it has a strong current underneath!" Aiba is so proud of the metaphor he came up with.
"So he has an unpredictable side," Rei starts to feel impatient with the non-direct answers the boys gave her. "But how come he suddenly he has a big part in this story?"
Nino grins wide and walks back to the couch.
"I guess Sho-kun should be the one to narrate that part of the story." He finally answers in his sing-songy voice. "That is, after he comes back from Fukuoka tomorrow morning. Actually in a couple of hours. He has promised he would give us a call."
Now Nino is back to his old position, slouching on the couch, not caring with all the anticipation of the Romeo and Juliet story. Not caring that he leaves a major cliffhanger right there, right then. But they'll find out soon, anyway.
That is, until Sho-kun gets back to Tokyo.
---
For the rest of the night, Rei couldn't close her eyes even for a second. Not even for a blink of an eye.
Voices are ringing in her ears. Nino's. Ohno's. Aiba's. And most of all, Jun's. Jun's voice triggers her longing of him more, her jealousy for Minako, her hate of this situation where she can't do anything but wait.
Nino's voice makes her feel guilty about feeling all this. Feeling jealous of Jun's past and what may come the moment he is back in Tokyo. Would things ever be the same again, she wonders. Would their relationship stays the way it used to be? Would she accept everything with an open heart, knowing that deep inside him, he still loves her?
"Hanazono Minako," She whispers the name to herself.
No, not spiteful. Yes, Rei is green with jealousy after hearing how in such a different way Jun loved that girl. But somehow, someway, Rei finds herself understanding the girl. Well they surely have something in common for sure. They both love Jun dearly, which she can completely understands.
On second thought, she hasn't take a good look on her picture that night. She's too scared to face the reality the picture gives her. Jun and Minako's love still strongly radiates through the 7 year old picture and it scares the shit out of her.
Rei takes a deep breath and gets up from the bed. Reaching out for the box that has started all this. It still sits where she has left it earlier tonight, near Jun's huge wardrobe.
She sits next to it and opens it again, intentionally this time.
And there they are, the Romeo and Juliet, kissing in front of the camera.
And there it is, the pink envelope she has been dying to read but didn't dare to show it to the boys.
So what is it again that Nino said about morality bullshits? About if only people could forget all about it and do what their heart tells them to do?
With that thought in mind, Rei takes a deep breath and opens the envelope.
A letter is enclosed inside it.
From Minako, To Jun. Sender's address is from Vancouver, Canada. Dated on September 10, 2007. Handwritten in scrawly handwriting. Traces that the letter has been read so many times before could be read from how it's crumpled on every edge. Traces of teardrops can be seen even years later as it smeared some ink. Rei lets out a smile at the irony of it.
She starts to read.
Dearest Jun-kun,
Genki?
I know that shouldn't be the first word I uttered to you after all what happened. But when I tried to think about something else, I couldn't come up with any. Well actually I did. You wouldn't know how many letters I have written you but never get sent. But I decided against something sappy that sounds so desperate.
After some months, I've finally decided to write this one and actually send it to you.
You wouldn't believe the cold in Vancouver. You wouldn't believe the hole in my heart without you filling it.
I know I shouldn't said that. Especially since I am the one who decided to leave you. And don't even think that it was easy for me. It was anything but easy.
But I didn't regret to leave you Jun. I just want to tell you that.
I didn't feel even an ounce of regret. Not after I received your Arashi Around Asia DVD. Not after I saw Hanadan Returns, Boku wa Imouto ni Koi wo Suru and Bambino. Not after I saw such a man you've become.
I would not be the girl to stand between you and Arashi. I would not be the girl to stand between you and the bigger man you could eventually become if you've never met me.
I have always been your fan, now and forever.
And whenever you hear the squeals, in concerts or performances, please remember, within those voices, there's one of mine. That would forever love you for who you are and pray for your well being and would only wish what's best for you.
From the bottom of my heart I wish one day we could meet again and laugh everything off and we could become best of friends. And we will fight again, like we always do.
But I know it is impossible. It hurts too much to ever be laughable.
Please, forgive me for not being as brave as you are. As foolish as you are.
If you do understand, please stop emailing me. Stop calling. You're making it harder than it already is. You should focus with what's in front of you, which I am really not right now.
I am just a fragment of your past. As you are a fragment of mine.
A past I would not ever forget. A fragment I'd always keep close to my heart and treasure it as my most prized memories. They are the most beautiful. They are the happiest moments of all. Even when we fight all the time. Even if you always make me want to pull out my hair out of frustration. If only Romeo and Juliet had a healthy relationship..
I'd always love you.
Your Juliet,
Minako.
At the other side of the letter, Minako has written what seemed to be verses of a song or a poem. She didn't include the title, or what it is, but the words are heartbreaking. Somehow Rei could feel how they express the cries in Minako's heart better than the strong facade she's written on her actual letter.
As we stood hand in hand in front of the ticket gate, there came another wind, just as stirring as the rest
I was supposed to see you off cheerfully, but without even being able to smile very well I just looked at you
I hope that, as you mature, that season won't overflow with sad songs
In our last moments, I wanted to tell something to you, so I searched for something to say in place of "good-bye"
I'd thought that it was my duty to take you and lead you by the hand
But now I understand; for us, the days that piled up together are the ones leading the way
As the time that you mature keeps increasing, I realize that I myself am changing as well
For example, if there are any songs like this one there, then we can always go on; connected to one another.
All at once, a bell resounded, and I, in a hurry, let go of your hand and you began to walk away
In a daze, I called out to you and held you tightly, close to my body
Wherever you go, I will project you with my voice
Ever since the day you came into my life, I started to look at anything and everything differently
Mornings, light, tears, and singing voices
You gave me light
All these heavy feelings are all put into this voice of mine, so that it can reach the far away town where you are
For example, if there are any songs like this one there,
we can always go on; connected to one another.
As Rei finishes reading everything, she weeps uncontrollably. Her shoulders are shaking and her lung is gasping for air from all the sadness that sweeps over her.
But this time, she cries not only for herself.
She also cries for Minako.
She also cries for Jun.
---
A strong jolt wakes Hanazono Minako up from her slumber.
She wakes up besides her true love, who is half asleep himself, surrounded by lightning that slices through the dark sky.
"What's that?" Minako gasps as she feels a stronger jolt.
Jun puts his arm around her and pulls her head close to his chest, half-realizing how intimate he is being with her in his half-asleep state.
"It's just turbulence.." He softly mumbles.
The plane shakes again, stronger and longer this time around.
"Some turbulence!" Minako feels the fear creeping up her chest. She looks up to Jun who still has his eyes at close. "Jun-kun, wake up!"
"Minako, would you just calm down.." Jun tries to shake away his drowsiness. But he starts to hear people behind them in Economy class starts to get as panicked as Minako is. The turbulence is surely something else.
He takes a deep breath. He has been in many flights, and even though this turbulence is the strongest he has experienced ever, he refuses to show his fear.
"It's just bad weather," He tightens his hold around Minako's shoulders, hoping it will calm her down. "It'll be over soon."
But this time, Jun is all wrong. The seatbelt sign is light up and after that a series of a much stronger jolts shake the plane all over. So strong that it loosens Jun's grip on Minako. So strong that the bags in front of them are slipping away to the other side of the plane.
"Over soon, my ass!"Minako pushes Jun away, transferring her fear into anger.
"Geez, Minako, it is so not the time to fight!"
Another jolt.
"Well if you would just wake up and face the reality that this plane is in trouble, we wouldn't fight!"
"I am waking up now! It is just turbulence!"
"It is not! We are falling! We are dying!"
A much much stronger jolt. The plane is now shaking uncontrollaby.
"See? Face that reality!"
"What reality?"
"You're a liar!"
"What?"
"I found your ring! I am not the only one you said 'ashiteru' at! You said it would be the last time you would say that word!"
As the plane is still shaking them, Jun's heart is shaken by Minako's sudden confession. She bursts in tears of fear, anger and a broken, no, shattered heart.
Most of all, Jun couldn't believe that she actually chooses to fight with him and then confess to him in a moment of life and death. It is so unlikely that the situation is almost funny. Almost.
"What?" Jun asks in a soft voice, hardly believes in what he just heard.
"You are going to propose to your girlfriend and I still love you so much that it hurts! I've never stopped loving you! I don't care if I die tonight as long as I can be with you!"
The lump in his throat is back again. He tries to swallow it whole. The Economy passengers are now screaming in fear, but Jun doesn't hear them anymore.
"Don't you hear me, Jun? I said I still.." Minako fires again, but this time she doesn't get to finish what she is about to say.
Because Jun already pulls her into a kiss before she can utter another word. His lips onto hers. He kisses her hungrily, hungry of every touch of her skin, hungry of every traces of her lips. As if this kiss is his method of survival and he wouldn't live without the touch of her lips on his.
And at that moment, Minako forgets all fears. Minako forgets all the shaking of the plane, all the jolts. All she cares is the jolt Jun's kisses create in her heart right now.
Without even wasting another moment, she kisses him back. Just as hungry. Just as desperate.
They could drown forever in that kiss. They don't care as they don't even try to gasp for air. They could very well be dying right now, but it is not the most important thing for them right now. The most important thing is each other, enveloped in each other's arms.
And as if there's some magic beneath that kiss, all the shaking, jolts and thunders subside. Along with the screaming of the Economy passengers.
The storm fades away and the plane flies to a clear dark sky. Flying elegantly through it. For a moment, all they can hear is silence.
They break away the kiss and look into each other eyes.
The pilot breaks the silence from the speakers.
"Ladies and Gentleman, we've just got through bad weather that has caused the strong turbulence. We are very sorry for the inconvenience it may caused you. Please be calm as everything has been taken under control and we will be arriving in Tokyo on schedule. Please fasten your seatbelts as long as you are seated for unexpected future turbulence."
Minako's dazed expression breaks into a big smile.
"It's magic.." She whispers softly as Jun's nose brushes onto hers softly.
"What's magic?" He asks in a husky voice.
"Our kiss.."
Jun just gotta laugh at that, "Baka."
And closes in for another kiss.
He knows he will feel guilty afterwards. But his heart tells otherwise he can't resist any longer. He knows that this is the betrayal that he has always hated. But his heart tells otherwise and he can't fight it anymore.
He doesn't know that betrayal can feel this, well, magical.
Continue to Chapter 12