(no subject)
so yesterday i drove all the way down to my cousins house for a christmas party that i only stayed at for like 2 hours.. then i went to katies familys get together after their holiday dinner... and no one showed up like katie had predicted so i was the party yay!!! i was happy i was there. then we decided to go meet up with katies bf, tim, at his friends house. this was my first time meeting him so i had to approve. all in all i like him hes a good guy. so we get there and were drinking a jungle juice contraption. i found out later what was in it im not sure of everything but i remember the two handles of vodka and the skittles and apples and altoids. so i had quite a bit of that so i was feeling good but i still remember everything. i kept pissing one guy off cuz katie told me he reminded her of napolean dynamite and so when i met him i totally saw it and i kept calling him napolean so he didnt like me much for that. the guy whose house we were at is levi. i really enjoyed that man cuz he loved dane cook!! and dane cook and i are soul mates i also met tims best friend paul. hes really cute and katie and tims goal last night was to hook us up because we both liked each other but i guess paul kept getting a lil upset cuz i was flirting with levi, but in all actuality we were just super excited about the dane cook thing. so eventually paul and i hooked up downstairs well after he got off he was like "i need a beer" and went upstairs well he never came back down so i went to katie and i told her that he just made me feel like a prostitute so katie and i were mad and decided we wanted to leave so we got all ready to go and as i was putting on my shoes paul came out and was like "are you sure youre ok to drive" and i was like "yeah" and he said "well why dont you just stay" and i responded saying "theres nothing for me to stay for" and he was like "stay so you dont crash into a tree stay for me"... corny i know but it worked. so then we stayed up and talked about things. tim had told me earlier that paul was a virgin. well i asked paul how many people he slept with and he said two.. so i was like oh thats funny cuz time told me you were a virgin. then he kinda took back the two people thing and told me he was embarrassed so thats why he said that but then kinda went back to being experienced then back to a virgin so i started thinking he was a lil sketchy, but whatever the number doesnt matter and perhaps tim didnt know whether or not paul had had sex. so we stayed up longer talked more and messed around again. in the morning when katie and i were leaving he gave me a big hug and said goodbye and everything and i know ill be seeing him around (cuz tim and katie still want to hook us up) but i guess i just didnt know how soon id be seeing them. tonite when i went to the movies i saw levi, chris and paul, and a girl. well when i went up to talk to them after the movie the girl was on pauls arm. so now i feel even worse. i guess im just not meant to meet anybody who could be good for me. lets recap this: christian-ok lets not even get into that, justin-has a gf and pretty much told me i mean nothing, marc-we just normally dont talk after things happen plus its a distance thing its just better not to get attached, skooter-was crazzy about me but i was a bitch to him and he found another girl and now ignores me and my apologies, and now paul-with another girl the night after we hooked up. obviously im just not good enough for anything but hooking up when the guy wants a little play. great no wonder i feel like a prostitute. its really just not fair. i need to stop putting myself through things like this, but even when i tell myself that it still doesnt happen. ahhhhhhhhhh thats pretty much all i cant think of to say. ok i guess im just gonna go pout about my mistakes and regret most of the things ive done lately cuz its all starting to take a toll on my emotions