still breathing, barely.
Last night I talked to my best friend. We haven't talked in probably a good, solid three weeks. So she was telling me about a "friend" that came home from boot camp and spent five days with her. This "friend" is an old boyfriend of hers. The relationship ended back in March after about 5 or so months of dating. He's older, 25 I think, and just didn't have his shit in order. He was a college graduate but wasn't really doing too much with his life. So in any event, he enlisted in the Army shortly after their breakup and he just finally got back from bootcamp a few weeks ago. So while he (Brad) was visiting my friend (Candice) they went to this amazing restaurant in the Bank of American building in downtown Orlando on the 28th floor called Manuals on the 28th. It has THE best views of Orlando. You can see all they way down to Disney. It's amazing. And they have amazing food. A dinner for two usually runs $200 easy without tax or tip. So, in any event. Candice got all dressed up and Brad put on his formal dress attire from the Army and they went to dinner. Apparently, when she wasn't looking, he got down on one knee in this restaurant. She turned back around and saw him there and started crying. He said a whole bunch of mushy stuff and then gave her a ring. It was his graduation ring from boot camp from the Army. It offered as a promise ring. Offered as in, when he gets back from specialized training, he'd replace it with the real deal.
Now, something you don't know about Candice, is that Candice is the female version of me. She has the same sense of humor, has lived through relatively the same hard knocks, and has worked for the majority of her life. She feels the same way about marriage that I do, it's just kinda there but she'd be just happy living with someone without the title of actually being married.
For me, this is something I struggle with all the time and I do occasionally write about how I hear about someone from back home getting married or divorced or having a kid or having another kid, but it's never really hit home for me because none of those people I would consider close friends except for Candice.
What I struggle with and what her story made me think about is, marriage isn't something to screw around with. If you take the vows, you are promising for better or worst. You aren't promising only happy times and when the rough gets going to give up. For me it's something that I take very seriously. And thats why I'd like to think that I would never get married until much later in life.
But what I also have a problem with is that if I won't get married to someone I've been with until we've been together for a really long time, what does that say about my faith in relationships and my own? This is where is gets really slippery.
I guess being a product of divorce these are the things that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Do I give myself unconditionally, or do I play it safe and not go all in?
Now, something you don't know about Candice, is that Candice is the female version of me. She has the same sense of humor, has lived through relatively the same hard knocks, and has worked for the majority of her life. She feels the same way about marriage that I do, it's just kinda there but she'd be just happy living with someone without the title of actually being married.
For me, this is something I struggle with all the time and I do occasionally write about how I hear about someone from back home getting married or divorced or having a kid or having another kid, but it's never really hit home for me because none of those people I would consider close friends except for Candice.
What I struggle with and what her story made me think about is, marriage isn't something to screw around with. If you take the vows, you are promising for better or worst. You aren't promising only happy times and when the rough gets going to give up. For me it's something that I take very seriously. And thats why I'd like to think that I would never get married until much later in life.
But what I also have a problem with is that if I won't get married to someone I've been with until we've been together for a really long time, what does that say about my faith in relationships and my own? This is where is gets really slippery.
I guess being a product of divorce these are the things that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Do I give myself unconditionally, or do I play it safe and not go all in?