Profound thoughts....
You know sometimes I might seem like an ass, but that isn't how I want to be...I don't want to be that loser kid who no one cares about...I really do care......I am having migraines, and I am not able to figure out where they are coming from...I have a CT scan tomorrow, becuase everyone thinks I have a brain tumor...and My doc says that if I do, there isn't A whole lot they can do...You know this whole situation has really made me open my eyes to the world. I just hope and pray that you don't hate me, I know I haven't been the best person in the world...and I know that I might have seemed like an asshole to you all, for that I am sorry...I just hope that you can forgive me...death is a funny thing you know, even if I am not here tomorrow...how many people would miss me? What would I have that would be a legacy....nothing....the sands of time will continue, and I will fade away into dreams, memories, and then eventaully nothingness...There is so much I need to do before that...why does god choose us as a path to help others? An answer we all may never know... You know, even if my CT scan shows nothing, this whole perdicament is still a sign from god, telling me to open my eyes to what is going on, asking me why have I turned away? Why have we expended almost all of our energy to help others yet we cannot help ourselves? It is because that is God's plan for us, we were meant to help others...and suffer ourselves....much like Christ did for us...so I have decided that I am going to live as Christ did, selfless...caring for others, and little of myself....If death be the only reward that awaits me here on this earth, then I know that in heaven awaits my real reward...
-edited from my reply in Savannah's journal.
-edited from my reply in Savannah's journal.