Christmas Blues
Well, tomorrow will just be another day for me...
I haven't had a real christmas in some years now. Simply put: we have no money...I long to wake up in the morning to find a tree chocked full of presents and people being happy...that is what i wish for x-mas....I just wish it would come true...I just want to be happy for Christmas, and I don't want to be lonely anymore...tonight was really hard watching steven and chrissy all over each other and she gave him her ring....on the same chain she gave it to me on... I just want to be over her so badly, I want to be able to give 100% of my heart to Bonny...all of it...but it just hurts so damn bad everytime I see her, it feels like my heart is being pulled from my chest, and i get short of air. I know though, that I will always have Bonny...my love and my everything....I need you so bad right now. I spent the last three hours on the floor of my bathroom crying my eyes out and choking on my own spit. I threw up twice and my stomach is still churning....I need your love Bonny...I just need to know if you are really as dedicated as you say you are? Is there any chance of this relationship going sour...I just know that I cannot take rejection again and I will fucking snap and someone will be dead (anyone, including myself) by the time it is over...I am so depressed right now.....and my head hurts....I am gonna go to bed....
I haven't had a real christmas in some years now. Simply put: we have no money...I long to wake up in the morning to find a tree chocked full of presents and people being happy...that is what i wish for x-mas....I just wish it would come true...I just want to be happy for Christmas, and I don't want to be lonely anymore...tonight was really hard watching steven and chrissy all over each other and she gave him her ring....on the same chain she gave it to me on... I just want to be over her so badly, I want to be able to give 100% of my heart to Bonny...all of it...but it just hurts so damn bad everytime I see her, it feels like my heart is being pulled from my chest, and i get short of air. I know though, that I will always have Bonny...my love and my everything....I need you so bad right now. I spent the last three hours on the floor of my bathroom crying my eyes out and choking on my own spit. I threw up twice and my stomach is still churning....I need your love Bonny...I just need to know if you are really as dedicated as you say you are? Is there any chance of this relationship going sour...I just know that I cannot take rejection again and I will fucking snap and someone will be dead (anyone, including myself) by the time it is over...I am so depressed right now.....and my head hurts....I am gonna go to bed....