Reminiscing
Today at school we presented Rachel's Challenge to the students and it was amazing. The responses and the respect they had was impressive. I am not sure what the lasting impact will be in the long run, but I do believe a ripple of kindness was stared and I am excited to see what happens. It was intersting to be in the mind set of 1999 and trying to explain to the kids what it was like to start high school the fall after the worst school shooting ever.
I just read through my Senior year of high school through my first day of college. There were so many things that I had completely forgotten about and other moments that seemed like yesterday. It always breaks my heart wheni remember how much I fought against McMurray when all he was doing was trying to make me into the horn player he knew I could be. If I had practiced instead of stare at Mike or dwell in the drama I could have been amazing. Not to mention in the last month we spent together I was a horrible awful brat. And the there is all the drama I go on and on about that I made ten time word with all of my posts and tried to mark everything bigger thanit was because I wanted my life to be just like DC.
Looking at my mind set and my beliefs and what I thought would happen and who I thought I would keep in touch with and who I thought I had already lost just make me realize just how little we really know, or at least the limitations of an 18 year old drama queen. On some levels I was correct, on others I could never imagine the friends I had yet to meet who have shaped the last few years of my life, or the students I would teach who would frame my teaching syle.
I think my biggest regret, though, from reading the posts is how oblivious I was to the people who truly loved me and tried to reach me and tangle through my craziness. I have no idea how anyone put up with me then, especially the ones I wrote about the most. I was awful. Or even the friends I had at the beginning of senior year versus the end. I wish I had spent more time outside of my own head and with the people I miss now. I think I could use that advice now as well, to mse some phone calls and reconnect.
I just read through my Senior year of high school through my first day of college. There were so many things that I had completely forgotten about and other moments that seemed like yesterday. It always breaks my heart wheni remember how much I fought against McMurray when all he was doing was trying to make me into the horn player he knew I could be. If I had practiced instead of stare at Mike or dwell in the drama I could have been amazing. Not to mention in the last month we spent together I was a horrible awful brat. And the there is all the drama I go on and on about that I made ten time word with all of my posts and tried to mark everything bigger thanit was because I wanted my life to be just like DC.
Looking at my mind set and my beliefs and what I thought would happen and who I thought I would keep in touch with and who I thought I had already lost just make me realize just how little we really know, or at least the limitations of an 18 year old drama queen. On some levels I was correct, on others I could never imagine the friends I had yet to meet who have shaped the last few years of my life, or the students I would teach who would frame my teaching syle.
I think my biggest regret, though, from reading the posts is how oblivious I was to the people who truly loved me and tried to reach me and tangle through my craziness. I have no idea how anyone put up with me then, especially the ones I wrote about the most. I was awful. Or even the friends I had at the beginning of senior year versus the end. I wish I had spent more time outside of my own head and with the people I miss now. I think I could use that advice now as well, to mse some phone calls and reconnect.