(Untitled)

[jmff]

Right. Next March I am absolutely not working in any sort of place that delivers alcohol to the masses. I've snuck out the back to have a break. Half tempted to go home, actually, but I couldn't do that to Tubby and Ernie and New Girl

Comments

[laufeys_son]

You know, there's a part of me that's something between surprised and amused that you didn't expect tonight to be an absolute zoo anywhere alcohol is part of the package.

And I don't see the purpose of always learning your coworkers names, either, but I'm more amused that you've become well-versed enough to make a statement as to the quality of her breasts...

[jmff]

I did expect it, I just forgot it was tonight, is all. Look, I lead a very important life, I can't be bothered to remember things like that.

And I like breasts. They're quite nice, really. All soft and round...

Occasionally I wish you had some.

[laufeys_son]

You can't be expected to remember that half the populace spends the 17th getting pissed? Why ar...

I'm going to pretend I didn't read the last bit of that.

[jmff]

You mean the bit where I said that occasionally I wished you had breasts?

[laufeys_son]

It's very hard to ignore that you said something or forget the same if you go repeating it, you know.

[jmff]

Forget what? That I said occasionally I wished you had breasts?

[laufeys_son]

Now you're just being either very silly, very stupid or, possibly, both.

Actually, my bet is that it's definitely both.

[jmff]

It's probably both. Good things come in pairs.

Like breasts.

[laufeys_son]

Jesus God, Justin.

And now that you have, as usual, pushed the joke just that few centimetres into the land of 'too far', could we get, I don't know, back to the other realm of this or something?

How mad do things look now?

[jmff]

You know I only push things too far when you don't react. Or pretend not to.

And I don't know. I haven't gone back inside. Ernie poked his head out the back door a few minutes ago, looking for me presumably, but I hid behind a bin.

Hopefully he's too busy to look in his book.

I don't want to go in there again!

[laufeys_son]

I reacted. I think saying that I'm not going to admit that something was said is a reaction.

You should have just told them you were dying of the plague. Maybe you still could. Would get you off that much, I suspect. Might be a minor issue if you showed up alive afterwards, but I imagine that could be dealt with as you came to it.

[jmff]

All right, fine. It wasn't the reaction I was looking for then.

When was the last time anyone in England got the plague? The 17th century?

[laufeys_son]

What reaction were you looking for, then? I mean, it's scarcely as if I was going to run off and see how I could go about satisfying that want of yours, now, is it.

And the last outbreak was in 1918, actually, though not much after the 17th century. Just say that a monkey broke out of some lab or another and stole fruit from our kitchen or something. That should work.

[jmff]

You'd look silly with tits anyway. I'd ask you to jump up and down a lot and you'd probably get annoyed and smack me.

Do you reckon I'd get sacked if I just came home? I could claim amnesia or something.

It's not as though I need a job anyway.

[laufeys_son]

So, basically, no real difference between now and your theoretical universe. Good to know.

Seriously. Claim you got suddenly ill. Maybe go in there and look awful for a little bit before you run off. They can't make you work while you're ill, it would be a health violation.

[jmff]

It's the Dog, Terry. Do you really think Tubby cares about a health violation?

What if I came and worked with you at the bookshop?