(no subject)
So it's been awhile. I'm pretty stressed out right now. My friends are all bitching at me because i never have time for them anymore because I have to "work all the time" it's gay but whatever. For some reason I love working at lonestar. Maybe it's because Jenny is awesome and I can talk to her about everything and I don't have anyone else like that and it's good to be able to talk to someone like her and have her around all the time. Maybe it's because for once I'm not the little kid anymore and they actually treat me like I'm not so young. No one cares what they say or what goes on around me and it's good to finally be somewhere like that for me. I hate always being the "little kid" I even wrote about that one time before this. Being there just helps me get away from things, it gives me something to do and occupies my mind instead of these stupid thoughts. It just makes me feel better sometimes I guess. Moving on, Lauren stopped breathing the other day and they had to call 911 and she is in the hospital, my whole world crashed when I heard about it. It brought back everything that I felt last year when she was sick. she was in the hospital on and off for like 9 months. I've been so strong for the past few months and when allie and steven called me I finally broke. That girl has gone through so much and she finally had a date for the last surgery she would have to have, and then this happened. I don't think it will affect the surgery though, but who knows. She just wants to get better and she wants it to all be over with, and who wouldn't, but things just keep happening. blah. I'm really starting to miss Lindsey again, when I go through certain things I want her to be here because she's the only one that ever understood and could help me. People tell me that's the person I am to them, but if I can be that person to someone else, why can't I help myself? I talked to her last night for a few hours, she might be coming back for christmas break again which would be good. I haven't talked to Kelly in a long time. Her and Matt both left lonestar. I guess it's cool, I think no matter what now we'll be friends and I'm happy about that. I mean, we won't be like together all the time and be best friends, and that's fine because that would be kinda weird, but when we do hang out it won't be all awkward to me like it used to be. Hmm and I'm sick with some cold. Isn't that great? At least this entry wasn't as depressed sounding as I really am right? Leave me something good to read, maybe it'll make me feel better.