WORK IS THE SHIT SOMETIMES

[jmccutcheon]

I really have a blast at work some nights. I worked tonight and we had our A team on. All the best cooks. I was the only white guy in the kitchen. We got busy for a little while and we took a beating, but they couldnt get us. We won the war! :) I put in a solid 10 hours tonight. Gonna work from noon til midnight tomorrow too. Overtime is the shiiit

Comments

[jmccutcheon]

:) Good question.. Excellent question and a one that has been asked by nearly every recovering addict. Here is an excerpt from the NA step working guide.. it is about the second step.

STEP 2: "We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity"

ok, thats step two, which is the first step that says ANYTHING at all about belief. And belief.. or.. faith, is what this step is all about... ok, heres something from the step working guide:

"Some of us resisted this step because we thought it required us to be religious. Nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, in the NA program that requires a member to be religious." ... "Our members strive to be inclusive in this regard and do not tolerate anything that compromises the unconditional right of all addicts to develop their own individual understanding of a Power greater than themselves. This is a spiritual, not religious program."... "The second step does not say "We came to believe IN a Power greater than ourselves" It says "We came to believe THAT a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity". The emphasis is not on what or who this Power is, but on what this Power can do for us. The group itself certainly quailifies as a Power greater than ourselves. So do the spiritual principles contained in the twelve steps." ~NA step working guide p.11

Ok, so,, if you read those last two sentences,, you'll notice that the group, or Narcotics Anonymous itself qualifies as a Power greater than myself. And this is true for me. That has been my main understanding of what god.. or "A POWER GREATER THAN MYSELF" is. Narcotics Anonymous itself by far has much more power than i do, is capable of keeping me clean and helping me recover(aka. "restoring me to sanity") Any mention of god in our steps or in our program is simply refering to a Power greater than ourselves. And for me, that is the fellowship itself. But to tell you the truth, the day i went into rehab, i prayed for the first time since i was maybe 5 years old. I wasnt sure if there was anybody listening to me pray, or if it would help me any, but i did it anyways because i had reached such a low point, i was in such emotional and spiritual pain, i was in survival mode,,, animal instinct mode,,, and as a result i was willing,, willing to do ANYTHING,, anything it took to stop feeling that pain. And part of that doing ANYTHING for me meant praying. I thought, shit, it cant hurt to pray, i need all the help i can get.
Try staying up for 10 days on meth, wanting to kill yourself, drinking yourself to sleep for 24 hours at a time, not eating for days, not shaving and showering and taking care of your basic needs for days,,, then see how willing you are to believe. I was FORCED to believe. Belief/Hope, is all i had left.. and i didnt have much thats for sure.

If you still arent clear on this, go to a meeting and ask someone... even if this does make sense, go to a meeting and ask someone. It just may save your life.