Comments | jmbt_intp: Tips/exercises

orange_coat in jmbt_intp

Tips/exercises

Mar 30, 2009 13:57

Hey, I'm a browsing INFJ.

Was just wondering if you guys could give me tips on how to increase Ti or whatever thoughts you have about it (as that is your dominant function).

It just so happens to be my tertiary function.

Thanks a bunch!

-Sue

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You raise some pretty interesting questions montecristo March 31 2009, 04:27:24 UTC

1) Feelers can think, just as thinkers can feel. Ones type does not mean that one has a complete monopoly on one function and an absence of the other. My ex wife is an INFJ and I think she's a very smart woman and an adept thinker; she's just got a feeler type personality. I've always looked at type as more a question of style and approach more than as ability. Smart is as smart does; emotionally adept is as emotionally adept does.

2) Do you have a need to be someone else? I don't mean to pry but what's wrong with being the person you are? Is this an attempt to get a handle on someone else's perspective, per se?

3) If you're curious about what it's like to be more of a thinker type, wait until middle age when people's tertiary functions begin to develop and express themselves. Everything in it's proper time. What's your hurry? Why would you want to push yourself into some other channel if you're not ready?

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions orange_coat March 31 2009, 07:41:15 UTC

Wow thanks for being so nice! I made some inquiries in the INTJ community, and my apparent NF-ness got me ripped apart. lol. Then again I have this tendency to "dump myself" onto people.. like an open-book, in a semi-desperate attempt to attain more accurate insight about myself.

Everything you pointed out is actually fairly on-target. Actually, completely so. I'm very much a feeler, but I also felt like being more T would allow me to be taken more seriously.

Alright, well. Maybe you can provide for me a lot of valuable insight? Here goes:

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions orange_coat March 31 2009, 07:41:42 UTC

I fall into the trap of thinking I need validation from people in order to progress, and now all of a sudden I realize T's simply just don't seek it as much. This is part of why I was observing the pattern of how I think (as an F), to objectively look at what I'm doing/how I'm thinking ( ... )

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions orange_coat March 31 2009, 07:45:14 UTC

I know this is very F-ish, it's like I'm dissecting myself. I spent all of last year being okay with myself regardless, in this orange_coat journal I did a lot of introspective analyzing. Although I don't actually write in it anymore ( ... )

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions orange_coat March 31 2009, 07:54:20 UTC

"Do you have a need to be someone else? I don't mean to pry but what's wrong with being the person you are? Is this an attempt to get a handle on someone else's perspective, per se?" Regarding that, I did have a best-friend INTP in high school. She rejected me, and because we were good friends for 5 years and I had her to confide in about my weird family.. it took me literally at least two years to emotionally recover from it (from when I was 17-19 years old). Hm. Sometimes I think she haunts me.

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions montecristo March 31 2009, 09:13:53 UTC

You sound like someone who is very good at introspection. I've got a few observations on some of the things you said. Respect is something that an individual earns. I've never thought of it as something tied to type. Type is a way of understanding the ways various people look at the world and interact with it. It doesn't dictate your abilities. Some people got angry when the Matel Toy company made a talking Barbie doll that said: "Math is hard." Well, math IS hard, and I took lots of it in school. That doesn't mean that feelers can't do math or that all T's find math easy - I really had to work at it, myself! Some of the smartest and most respectable people I know are feeler types. Being an F-type does not make you immature, irrational, or illogical - it just means that you process the information you pick up about the world in a different way than T's do and from a different perspective than T's have ( ... )

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions orange_coat March 31 2009, 22:05:12 UTC

Wow great comment!

Regarding my lack of understanding how to apply discipline, I should add that I came from a family that was rigid/strict IN THEORY, but not in practice. My parents were too absorbed in their own problems/alcohol/medication/whatever to actually create any structure or parent altogether, but in theory they were rigid. They would convey all that they wanted me to be, but never showed me how. So I think I had to learn myself.

How do T types go about seeking validation compared to F's?

And do you mind if I add you to my actual journal? allthings_new , since you seem to be an NT who is familiar with NF. And I'm, well, still interested in learning to balance out my excessive F-ness *shrug*.

Yet maybe discipline and T are two different ideas.

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions montecristo April 1 2009, 04:20:17 UTC

How do T types go about seeking validation compared to F's?

Type is descriptive not predictive. Type can help us understand why someone does something or why they may have acted a certain way, but it can't predict what someone will do or what they will like in a particular circumstance. We're each unique.

Go ahead and add me if you want to do so. It's nice to meet you. Yes, I am familiar with NF's. I have an NF mother, some NF ex girlfriends, two NF daughters and a bunch of NF friends.

I'd say discipline and "T" are not interchangeable.

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions allthings_new April 1 2009, 17:35:55 UTC

It's nice to meet you too. You have good comments, thanks for that.

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions allthings_new April 2 2009, 17:55:39 UTC

I just wanted to make sure I understood right, when you said this:

I'd say discipline and "T" are not interchangeable.

That means they are the same thing right?

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions montecristo April 2 2009, 22:19:51 UTC

No, it means that they are not the same thing. They are independent of one another. Someone can be a T and yet still be undisciplined, just as one can have a very disciplined outlook and philosophy and be an F.

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions allthings_new April 2 2009, 22:25:02 UTC

Wow. So what I was actually looking at was an increase in discipline. Not my Ti..

..that's good to know.

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions montecristo April 4 2009, 06:27:08 UTC

Interesting ( ... )

Re: You raise some pretty interesting questions allthings_new April 4 2009, 18:28:01 UTC

Beautifully written!

Thank you!

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