Grande Nonfat Caramel Macchiato Half Caf...
Ever come to the realization that maybe you aren't who you thought you were? Yeah, that's me. With my 101 lbs. lost since last November, I am dealing with totally new image issues. Who I am now is not who i was last November. I think it’s equal parts the fact that I am 20 years old and the fact that my self-image is so much better. I was pretty self-conscious about my weight, so now that I am in better shape, I could care less what people think. I mean, I really want them to think positively of me, but I will be fine the other way.
This has caused a paradigm shift in me. I have become more outgoing and am learning to be happier with myself at the same time. However, I can't spend quality time with myself as well as with everybody else, since my "me" time involves mass consumption of the arts (computer games, books, music, poetry, movies, photos), and time with others usually doesn't involve that. It involves my other love: conversation. I dunno, I just wish that I knew how to get into deep conversations with certain people.
This year I have really come to some major conclusions of what I want in a girl. My ideal has subtly shifted. I want someone who I can talk to that is roughly my intellectual equivalent. I don't want to put a lot of energy into clarification of what I say, which just taxes me and kills the moment. I want someone with not too much emotional baggage. I don't want someone who is overbearing, yet I do want someone who has their own life to live that doesn't totally revolve around me. I want her to understand how I work, my cycling between extraversion and introversion. I want someone to share my passion for depth in the arts.
I want to be challenged, essentially. I don't get challenged all that much in my life, and I think that's what's missing in my life. I can't really challenge myself very well. If I do, I don't realize it. I guess that that's a tall order, but I don't really care. We define our ideal by our experience and experience has shown me this year what I truly do and don't want in life. I am sure that as I "grow up," my ideal will shift and I look forward to it.
I hope that some day I will find "her", but until then I am patiently waiting...
This has caused a paradigm shift in me. I have become more outgoing and am learning to be happier with myself at the same time. However, I can't spend quality time with myself as well as with everybody else, since my "me" time involves mass consumption of the arts (computer games, books, music, poetry, movies, photos), and time with others usually doesn't involve that. It involves my other love: conversation. I dunno, I just wish that I knew how to get into deep conversations with certain people.
This year I have really come to some major conclusions of what I want in a girl. My ideal has subtly shifted. I want someone who I can talk to that is roughly my intellectual equivalent. I don't want to put a lot of energy into clarification of what I say, which just taxes me and kills the moment. I want someone with not too much emotional baggage. I don't want someone who is overbearing, yet I do want someone who has their own life to live that doesn't totally revolve around me. I want her to understand how I work, my cycling between extraversion and introversion. I want someone to share my passion for depth in the arts.
I want to be challenged, essentially. I don't get challenged all that much in my life, and I think that's what's missing in my life. I can't really challenge myself very well. If I do, I don't realize it. I guess that that's a tall order, but I don't really care. We define our ideal by our experience and experience has shown me this year what I truly do and don't want in life. I am sure that as I "grow up," my ideal will shift and I look forward to it.
I hope that some day I will find "her", but until then I am patiently waiting...