(no subject)
It's all coming to an end. I'm almost embarassed to say how excited I am. I'm really just tired of this place. It's not my home, I've come to realize it never was. There were times that I was distracted by good memories and I felt like this was a safe and happy place for me to be. About half way through last year I realized it was just kind of this happy smog over a scary reality. The whole "Messiah Bubble" that people talk about all the time....that's what I'd been living in. This world where we believe we're invincible, nothing can ever go wrong, and there is nothing sad/scary/bad in the world. It was this perfect little dream place where we discussed the Invisible Children while wearing our expensive clothes and sipping our Starbucks drinks. It's a place where we all sit in chapel twice a week and sing praises God, and then return to our dorms where we drop the f-bomb and sing along to songs that degrade women. It's a world where we appear angelic, then sneak boys into our rooms and search for bars far enough away from campus to avoid running into professors. It's all an act.
Now I'm not saying I partake in all the forbidden things that go on here in Grantham. I've broken my fair share of rules, and I've followed more than I can believe. I think I've been a fairly average student here, behaving enough to avoid getting caught but also living enough to avoid becoming sheltered, ignorant person. I've learned to think for myself and make my own choices based off my personal values. At least I can't walk away from here saying I didn't learn anything at all.
But now it's about to end and I can't say I'm sorry to see it go. I'll walk away next Saturday with a lot of fun memories. There was the time I made fire alarm noises in my sleep and scared poor Melissa half to death. There was the time, right around this time of year, that we walked to the creek, lit a fire in a charcoal grill, and burned all our class notes. There was floating down the creek on innertubes last year with Aimee and Emily, and our numerous trips to Hershey. There was the two nights in the PICU at Hershey Medical Center with my classmate Susanna and the infamous male nurse now named Hottie Hotterson. There was the time Nikolle decided to ask Dan all her questions regarding sex and the time Idiki and I drove all over Mechanicsburg trying to find just the right drink. Yes, I think it's safe to say I'm satisfied with my college experience. After all, how many graduates can say they almost died 3 weeks before fall finals and still pulled their lives together to graduate a semester later?
So two weeks from now I'll be at home in my little lime green bedroom in Denver. I'll be commuting to Hershey to make up my practicum so I won't officially be done with school until May 31st (Dan's birthday!) but it'll come soon enough. And then comes the big question: what will you do then? I'm honestly not sure. I know I'll be an RN after I pass the state board exam. I know I'll work at one of the regional hospitals, probably either LGH or Hershey. I'm leaning towards working on the high risk OB unit at Hershey but that's not set in stone yet.
What I do know is that I'm going home. I'm going to spend more days playing with my sister. I'm going to babysit little Noah and teach Dan how to take care of a baby. Kim and I will spend many days laying on our decks in the sun with countless pints of ice cream. Then I'll spend lots of mornings walking along Windy Mansion Road burning off that ice cream. I'll teach Dan to drive my manual transmission car. We'll find an amazing apartment where ever I decide to work right around the time he finishes his Masters degree at Millersville next May. August 13, 2008 we'll get married and I'll learn to love listening to his music all the time and adjust to sleeping despite his legs never coming to a rest. Every minute will be filled with uncertainty and terror, but also with excitement and love. Yes, I think everything's going to be ok.
Now I'm not saying I partake in all the forbidden things that go on here in Grantham. I've broken my fair share of rules, and I've followed more than I can believe. I think I've been a fairly average student here, behaving enough to avoid getting caught but also living enough to avoid becoming sheltered, ignorant person. I've learned to think for myself and make my own choices based off my personal values. At least I can't walk away from here saying I didn't learn anything at all.
But now it's about to end and I can't say I'm sorry to see it go. I'll walk away next Saturday with a lot of fun memories. There was the time I made fire alarm noises in my sleep and scared poor Melissa half to death. There was the time, right around this time of year, that we walked to the creek, lit a fire in a charcoal grill, and burned all our class notes. There was floating down the creek on innertubes last year with Aimee and Emily, and our numerous trips to Hershey. There was the two nights in the PICU at Hershey Medical Center with my classmate Susanna and the infamous male nurse now named Hottie Hotterson. There was the time Nikolle decided to ask Dan all her questions regarding sex and the time Idiki and I drove all over Mechanicsburg trying to find just the right drink. Yes, I think it's safe to say I'm satisfied with my college experience. After all, how many graduates can say they almost died 3 weeks before fall finals and still pulled their lives together to graduate a semester later?
So two weeks from now I'll be at home in my little lime green bedroom in Denver. I'll be commuting to Hershey to make up my practicum so I won't officially be done with school until May 31st (Dan's birthday!) but it'll come soon enough. And then comes the big question: what will you do then? I'm honestly not sure. I know I'll be an RN after I pass the state board exam. I know I'll work at one of the regional hospitals, probably either LGH or Hershey. I'm leaning towards working on the high risk OB unit at Hershey but that's not set in stone yet.
What I do know is that I'm going home. I'm going to spend more days playing with my sister. I'm going to babysit little Noah and teach Dan how to take care of a baby. Kim and I will spend many days laying on our decks in the sun with countless pints of ice cream. Then I'll spend lots of mornings walking along Windy Mansion Road burning off that ice cream. I'll teach Dan to drive my manual transmission car. We'll find an amazing apartment where ever I decide to work right around the time he finishes his Masters degree at Millersville next May. August 13, 2008 we'll get married and I'll learn to love listening to his music all the time and adjust to sleeping despite his legs never coming to a rest. Every minute will be filled with uncertainty and terror, but also with excitement and love. Yes, I think everything's going to be ok.