(no subject)
I'm scared...
Today i went over to my parents house because I needed to pick something up and i haven't been there in about 2 weeks. Well anyways, my dad's been out of work for about the past month. They don't know what's wrong with him. His back or something is what he says but he can hardly move. He's had dozens of tests, MRI's CAT scans, blood work etc and they can't find anything so he's all drugged up all day. Well anyways I went over today and I didnt' even recognize him. He's lost SOOOOO much weight, his arms are thinner then mine and everyone knows how skinny my arms are. His hair is all gray and white and he looks like he's aged 25 years in 1 month. I said to him that he's lost a lot of weight and he knows it. It just scared me and freaked me out I mean, my whole life I've never had to worry about anything really. I've had no major family issues and then all of a sudden today it hit me that my parents aren't as young as they use to. I'm freaking out now that my dad has cancer or something else and they're not going to find it and I'm going to lose him. I've NEVER had thoughts like these and I am TERRIFIED TO DEATH. It just scares me so much that my dad might not get to see his 50th birthday or see me get married or anything like that. We don't even know anything but it makes me realize that he's almost 50 and that he's not 30 anymore....omg i'm scared