The Way of Things, Chapter 30
As promised, Pete was waiting for Rose in his office. He was reading when she walked in, and he distractedly motioned for her to sit as he finished with the document in front of him. She sat, trying very hard not to feel like a misbehaving pupil sent to the headmaster’s office.
Pete was done quickly enough and soon turned his gaze to her. “What’s going on in Kendal, Rose?”
No beating about the bush; Pete was in full Director mode. It actually made it easier for her, knowing that this was a report-out and not a father/daughter session. It would make it much easier to provide a recitation of the facts.
She briefed him out on what had happened with the case, providing a week-by-week summary not unlike the ones she’d been submitting each Friday. She included the discovery that it was McGreevy in the warehouse, that the Scientific Directorate had told her what the tech did, and that she planned to be in town for a few more days before heading back north to hopefully wrap the case up.
With the simple part out of the way, she paused to take a breath. She wasn’t going to stop here: She needed to get everything out on the table. Hadn’t she just learned-so very recently, and so very harshly-that immediate honesty was the best policy?
Pete continued to stare evenly at her, and she took a deep breath before she continued. “There have been some…complications. During the course of the investigation, the Inspector and I have become...romantically involved.” Pete’s gaze darkened, his eyebrows drawing together. “We’re not sleeping together,” Rose clarified, hastily-she felt herself blush at the denial. “I mean,” she began, thinking of falling asleep in his arms on his sofa-but that had been literal sleeping together and not the euphemistic kind that- She cut off the thought before it could fully form, and moved on quickly. “We’ve been on a few dates. The most we’ve done is kiss.”
She cringed inwardly; why was she even babbling about all of this, in so much detail? Was it necessary to explain precisely how far their physical relationship had progressed-wasn’t it enough to say they weren’t sleeping together? She might as well clarify how much bloody tongue was involved. Her blush deepened, and she refocused on the details that would be important to her job. “The team knows about it, as does the Inspector’s DC. He’s not married, has no entanglements that I’m aware of. It’s not a risk for blackmail.”
Pete’s gaze relaxed marginally, and he leaned back in his chair. “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”
Rose sighed and thought about the question carefully before answering. “It wasn’t planned, it just happened. There was a lot of tension between the two of us, some because he works for the police and I work for Torchwood, but there was more to it. I think it might have been more distracting if nothing had happened, if we’d tried to ignore it. The team seems to be working better together-certainly, we seem to have made great strides in the investigation since.”
She was aware that her words didn’t really answer the question. But, good idea? She couldn’t answer that-as much because as she couldn’t verbalise it as she didn’t want to think too much about it. When she’d been with Peter and he was flirting with her-or kissing her, or even just smiling at her-and she had been just letting herself enjoy him, it had seemed like the best idea she’d ever had. Right at this moment, however, it seemed like the most disastrous idea she’d ever had.
Luckily, Pete didn’t point out that she hadn’t answered his question. “How long since you started ‘dating’?”
Rose bristled. The inflection in the inquiry made it sound as if Pete doubted it could be called dating, which was a bit unfair. What, exactly, did he think it had been? Did he not believe her statement about how far her and Peter’s relationship had progressed? “Just under two weeks,” she answered, perhaps a trifle more sharply than she’d meant to.
Pete gave her another hard look. “You know I don’t approve of this, Rose. I think it’s too easy to confuse the emotions that come out while working in the field, with feelings for someone.” Rose fought down a slightly hysterical laugh at the absurdity of what Pete said. He thought that was confusing? What about when the bloke you thought you were falling for with looked just like the last bloke you’d fallen for?
Pete continued, “But-as there’s not express policy forbidding it, and as this is the first time you’ve done this, I’ll tell you what I tell everyone else. So long as your work doesn’t suffer, so long as Torchwood isn’t impacted negatively, I’ll let it go. If I find out it’s impacting work, that your team is covering for you or being adversely affected, or anything else, I’ll yank you from the investigation and you’ll be suspended from your position for a period of time. In other words-be very, very sure you know what you’re doing. Is that clear?”
It was crystal clear. Just as clear as the fact that she actually had no idea what she was doing. But she answered anyway, “Yes, sir.”
“If things work out for the two of you, so much the better.” He stood and walked around the desk before crouching in front of her. “I wish I could be your dad on this, Rose. But I can’t.”
She blinked back tears, and wished she had more of a grip on her emotions. She wanted a dad at that moment. She wanted to confess that she’d finally found a man she liked-a man she really, really, really liked-and she’d managed to ruin everything. But she couldn’t, because Pete was very much not her dad at the moment. He was her superior-the Director of the organization for whom she worked-and she was supposed to be pretending that she had everything in Kendal, from the case to her personal relationship with the local constabulary, under control. “I know. I really do.”
Clearly she was doing a bad job pretending she had everything under control, because Pete’s face now held the mildly panicking discomfort of a man suddenly faced with an emotional, irrational female. “You could talk to your mum…” he suggested, awkwardly.
Rose managed to laugh. “She’d tell you everything!”
Pete’s gaze was serious. “Not if you asked her not to. I think you need to talk to someone outside of Torchwood on this, Rose, and someone who knew the Doctor. Trust your mum.”
Rose smiled. “I do.”
Pete stood and smiled back. “Good. Now, you ready to head back to the house?”
“Whenever you are. Unless there’s anything else to talk about?”
“Nah, I’m done playing Director for the day. Time to just go back to being Dad-it’s less stressful.”
He called for the car and, after securing the office they headed downstairs. The car ride to the house was quiet, the silence comfortable, and Rose found herself growing sleepy as they neared the drive.
“When did you last sleep?” Pete asked, sympathetically.
“A proper sleep, in my bed? Oh…a few days ago?”
Pete gave her a pitying glance. “No wonder field team agents are half-crazed. They live in a permanent state of sleep deprivation.”
Rose laughed and stretched as they turned into the drive. “The adrenaline does wonders for that, you know. Or have you already forgotten, living the cushy life of domesticated male?”
“Very, very funny, missy.” Pete grinned at her.
“You’re spoiled rotten, and you know it.”
He sighed happily. “Indeed I am.”
Rose leaned back, contentedly, as the house came into view. Her mum and Pete really had settled into a life of domestic tranquillity. There were still dust-ups, still times where they realized they hadn’t always been married to each other; but Rose admired their commitment to making the relationship work, to not wasting the second chance fate had given them. Her smile faded as she wondered if she’d ever be that lucky. Was she blowing her second chance right now? Should she be up in Kendal, talking with Peter instead of down in London, staying with her family?
The car came to a stop in front of the house, and Pete once more opened the door to hand her out. Her mum met them at the door this time, giving her a bone-crunching hug before exclaiming over how tired she looked. Pete brushed a kiss over his wife’s cheek as he walked by, giving Rose a surreptitious wink before walking down one of the many hallways running off of the foyer.
“Tea won’t be ready for a bit, Rose-maybe a nap would do you?”
Rose glanced up the stairs, thinking longingly of the comfort of her room, before dragging it back to her mum. She could do with a nap, but she suspected it might largely be a delay tactic on her part. No more delaying-not anymore. She may have come to London because she was running away, but she wasn’t going to run anymore. She was going to get advice. She was going to figure out what to do about Peter. She was going to find a way to fix for it. She’d fight for him, she decided. Jackie was watching her in concern, alarmed by her daughter’s weary silence, and Rose smiled. “I’ll be ok. How about a cuppa?”
Jackie looked as though she was about to ask something, but changed her mind halfway to the question forming. “I could do with a nice hot cuppa. Like old times?”
In her time as this universe’s Jackie Tyler, Jackie had learned to accept having her tea poured out for her in the salon when company was over. She and Rose, however, had made a practice of sneaking off to the capacious kitchen to make their own mugs of tea, following the same rhythm they’d set so long ago on the Powell Estate. Jackie led the way down another of the hallways, Rose following, and they arrived in the gleaming white space to find one of the cooks bustling busily about preparing supper.
“Don’t mind us, Louise,” Jackie sing-songed as she walked through the room. Rose smiled at the startled employee as she passed, before moving to the back of the room. Tucked away in a small cabinet were several chipped, well-used mugs, and Rose grabbed two of them as her mum set the kettle-a proper tea kettle-to boil.
They were careful to keep the chit-chat neutral as they awaited the kettle, Rose talking about the beauty of the countryside around Kendal, Jackie telling her daughter of society events and the latest adventure of her younger brother John. Soon the water had boiled and, after warming the pot, Jackie measured in some leaves and poured water over them to steep. Rose ensured all of the necessary supplies were on a tea tray, and then followed her mum out of the kitchen and on towards Jackie’s ‘study.’
The small, relatively simple room had been claimed by Jackie early on in her new life with Pete. No servants were allowed in, no company-only family. It was the one place where Jackie could allow herself to be Jackie Tyler from the Powell Estates, not Jackie Tyler, Vitex Wife. “Not that I mind that, of course,” she’d told Rose long ago. “But a woman’s got to have a place of her own, hasn’t she-a place to be herself.”
They sat on opposite ends of the squishy sofa, feet tucked under legs in mirroring postures; the tea tray sat in front of them on the low table. Rose felt the tension of the past few days drain away as she and her mum sipped their tea in companionable silence. All the same, she didn’t miss the glances Jackie was giving her-the ones that showed she knew something was on Rose’s mind, but that she would wait it out until her daughter was ready to share.
As Jackie poured out a second cup, Rose finally felt up to talking. “How hard was it for you to get used to Pete?”
Jackie looked at Rose with surprise. “What d’you mean?” She set the teapot down and curled back into the sofa.
“Knowing that you were replacing someone who looked just like you-it couldn’t have been easy.”
Jackie took a sip before replying. “I look like her, love, but I’m a completely different person. Good thing, too-she sounded a right bint, did that Jackie. It wasn’t easy-you know that-but it wasn’t because I looked like Pete’s dead wife. It’s because we were two strangers who had to get to know each other.”
“Didn’t you ever wonder, though…?” Rose stopped. The question was too personal, too embarrassing. She shook her head, muttering ‘never mind’ as she took a last sip of tea. She sat up, reaching for the teapot to pour another cup.
Jackie looked at her thoughtfully. “Did I ever wonder if he wished I was his old Jackie?”
Rose set the teapot down, her eyes focused on her mug as she added milk and sugar. “Yes.”
“Of course I did! Only human, aren’t I? Was part of getting to know him, though, learning to trust him. Believe him, really. He made an effort to let me know that he wanted to learn about me, to get to know me. He tried so hard to reassure me-it made me love him even more.”
Rose had settled back against the sofa, and was staring at her tea. With her mum, Pete had made an effort, Pete had tried to reassure her. And with Peter, she had sat, tongue-tied and nervous and throbbing with hurt and worried entirely about herself, wanting Peter to reassure her that it would be fine. Bloody hell, she’d done everything exactly the wrong way, hadn’t she?
She swallowed, bracing herself to speak. “I…I met someone up in Kendal.” She raised her eyes to her mum’s.
“Oh, darling! That’s wonderful!” Jackie’s beam and enthusiasm were sincere. Why haven’t you said anything before now?”
Rose set her mug down, her interest in the hot beverage waning. “Well…we only started dating a short time ago…” She looked at Jackie, who was looking at her excitedly. “And, well, it’s complicated.” She wanted to snort at her own understatement.
Jackie set her mug down next to Rose’s. “Did you meet him through work?”
Rose did smile at that. “Yeah. He works for the police up there. He’s…well, he’s the detective we’ve been working with.”
“The same one who’s been driving you spare these five weeks?” Jackie’s voice rose in surprise. Rose had been telling her mum about the conflicts with Peter, beginning that first week; had used his actions and sarcasm as comic relief on several occasions as she updated her mum every Sunday night. “I thought you didn’t get on?”
Rose laughed ruefully. “We didn’t. And then we did. He…there’s more to him than I was giving him credit for.”
“I should hope so, if you’ve decided to see him,” Jackie said pragmatically. “What happened, then?”
“I don’t now. It was like…like someone flipped a switch. Went from arguing and bein’ catty to just…” Rose trailed off as she remembered being kissed by Peter in the car. “He’s lovely, Mum. Funny, and smart, and clever-”
“A good kisser, too.” It was more of a statement than a question, and Rose blushed.
“Yeah. He’s not like any of the other blokes I’ve met here. He doesn’t care about Pete or the money, hasn’t tried to be anything he isn’t. He’s not perfect…but he’s just who he is.” Rose shifted to fully face her mum. Now that she’d started talking about Peter, she suddenly didn’t want to stop talking about him. She wanted to tell her mother everything about him, every adorable, charming, uniquely Peter-y thing he had ever done, so that she would understand how wonderful he was. “First date, he takes me for a picnic up on this gorgeous hill overlooking the town. It was lovely; we just talked and watched the clouds. Second date, we go for chips, sit by the river and…just talk. It was lovely.” She felt tears prick as she remembered how vulnerable Peter had been that night. “He…he just…opened up to me. He trusts me, Mum. He trusted me. He…It was our second date, Mum, and he…He’s just…” She felt words fail her. “I’ve really never met anyone like him.”
Jackie was silent, watching her daughter for a moment before responding. “You really like him, don’t you, sweetheart?”
Rose nodded her head, biting her lip. She knew she’d made it sound perfect-a romantic idyll up in Kendal. Here she was, misleading people again. Telling her mum that Peter looked like the Doctor was proving to be almost as hard as it had been to tell Peter himself.
“So, if you’re so happy up there with him, why are you down here looking miserable?” Jackie’s voice was sympathetic.
Trust her mum to suss her out. Jackie’s ability to see through Rose had been the reason she and Mickey had come up with the honesty policy in the first place. She took a deep breath. “Peter looks like the Doctor.”
Jackie sat back in surprise, her mouth open in a small ‘oh’ before she collected herself. “He’s not a Manc with big ears, is he?”
Rose laughed. She’d not expected her mum to assume he looked like her first Doctor. “No, Mum. He’s not a Manc. He looks like the last one. Only Scottish,” she added, almost as an afterthought.
Jackie’s face registered comprehension briefly, before becoming confused once again. “Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. You told him about the Doctor. Right?”
Rose felt her heart sink. Jackie’s expression grew slightly less sympathetic. “You did tell him, Rose? Before you did anything?”
Rose opened her mouth to speak; shut it.
“Rose!”
“No, Mum! Not like that!” Rose addressed Jackie’s immediate concern. “We never…that is…”
“Well, that’s a relief.” Jackie’s voice was dry and held a hint of steel.
“I might have waited to tell him, though. Just a bit.”
Jackie gave her daughter a hard stare. “Rose, you’re going to have to be a bit clearer.”
Rose shrank into the corner of the sofa. Her mum was not going to approve. “I, er…told him Saturday.”
“Saturday? Over a week ago?”
Rose swallowed, slouching further into the sofa. “No.” Her voice was small.
“Rose Marion Tyler!” Jackie’s voice was full of disapproval. “You strung this poor man along without telling him that he looked like the love of your life?”
“’s not like that, Mum!”
“How many dates did you go on? How many chances did you have to get things out in the open?”
“Five dates,” Rose practically whispered. She felt terrible-more terrible, she amended. She had to make some attempt to defend herself, to make her mother understand why she had delayed. “But-“
“Don’t ‘but’ me! You should have told him as soon as you realized he was serious, Rose!”
“I didn’t want to lose him!” Rose burst out. She shut her mouth in shock; Jackie narrowed her eyes at her daughter.
“He’s not a replacement for the Doctor, Rose.”
“I know that! That isn’t why I don’t want to lose him! Haven’t you been listening? I like him. I like him! ”
Jackie eyed her thoughtfully. “Does he know he’s not a replacement? Did you tell him that? Or did you just tell him that he looked like the Doctor?”
“I-” Rose thought back to the conversation in the garden. She’d been so terrified of losing Peter, of her feelings being hurt-so focused on herself that she’d not thought to reassure him. She closed her eyes in shame. “No.”
The room fell silent; Jackie’s quiet disappointment and disapproval were more painful than any amount of yelling could have been.
Rose tried to rally. “He didn’t take it well, Mum. Just shut me out-”
“Did you even try to tell him, sweetheart?”
“No, I…was so scared. And hurt. And I just-” Rose felt a tear escape, and hastily wiped it away. “And then I came down here because it was easier than facing him. He’d been so warm, so easygoing; to see that go away because I’d told him about the Doctor…”
“This isn’t about you, though, is it, sweetheart?” Jackie’s voice was gentle.
Rose felt her stomach drop as she looked at the chintz fabric of the sofa. “No,” she sniffled.
Jackie scooted over, reached out, enfolded Rose in a hug. “Oh, love.”
Rose hesitantly wrapped her arms around her mum. “I really bollixed this up, didn’t I,” she said into her mum’s shoulder.
“A bit, yes. You need to go back and see if you can’t fix things. Assuming he’s still interested and willing to listen.”
Rose tilted her head back to look at her mum. “I really do like him. For him. I just…God, it hurt.”
Jackie gave her a quick squeeze. “But it’s not about you, love. If you want to try to make this work, you really do have to think about him. Pete was wonderful about telling me why he loved-loves-me. But I also had to let him know that I love him because he’s Peter Michael Tyler. He might look like your dad, but he’s a completely different man. He’s wonderful, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything, no matter how much I miss your father. Pete’s here with me now-and I love him because he’s Pete. But I needed to let him know that-and I did, every chance I got. Still do. Because he should know how much I love him.”
Rose sniffled, wiped away another rogue tear, and nodded. “Peter…he…” She felt her heart clench as she thought of him. She looked at her mum. “He’s Peter,” she said, simply.
Her mum nodded, satisfied. “You need to tell him that. Go back to Kendal, don’t hide down here. You’ll hate yourself, and it’s not like you to run from a challenge.”
Rose laughed self-deprecatingly. “Seem to have a history of it in relationships.” She stopped, realization hitting her. “Mickey’s really going to make Peter’s life a misery.”
Jackie tutted. “Always did have a blind spot for you, did Mickey. He should have told you all of this.”
“He found me when I was wallowing in self-pity.”
Jackie shook her head. “No excuse-he knows better, having had to go through it himself. We’re going to have a little talking-to when I see him next.”
Rose smiled. “Poor Mickey.”
“Poor Peter.” Jackie’s voice held a note of reproach. Rose’s smile faded.
“Mum…can you not tell Pete?”
Jackie looked hesitant, and Rose continued. “He knows Peter and I are-were-seeing each other. He doesn’t want to know anything else-didn’t want to, at any rate. And he said you’d not tell him if I asked you not to.”
Jackie peered at Rose; Rose was reminded of childhood interrogations, when her mum was trying to get her to tell on one of the neighbourhood children. “I don’t know, Rose. How serious are you about this man?”
Rose steeled herself to meet her mother’s gaze. “Very.”
Jackie nodded, shortly. “Then I’ll keep it to myself. But you have to go make things right by Peter.”
“I will. I have one last thing to take care of down here, and then I’ll go back to Kendal.”
Jackie stood. “That’s my Rose.” Rose stood next to her mum. Jackie smiled at her, loving and gentle, and Rose thought about how grateful she was that she had her. What would she ever do without her? She couldn’t imagine what life would have been like in a universe with no Jackie Tyler. “You feel better, sweetheart?”
“Loads. Pete knew what he was about when he told me to talk to you.” She grinned and leaned in to her mum.
“He’s a smart man, is Pete.” Jackie’s grin mirrored that of Rose. “Let’s go see what trouble he and John have got into.”
Pete was done quickly enough and soon turned his gaze to her. “What’s going on in Kendal, Rose?”
No beating about the bush; Pete was in full Director mode. It actually made it easier for her, knowing that this was a report-out and not a father/daughter session. It would make it much easier to provide a recitation of the facts.
She briefed him out on what had happened with the case, providing a week-by-week summary not unlike the ones she’d been submitting each Friday. She included the discovery that it was McGreevy in the warehouse, that the Scientific Directorate had told her what the tech did, and that she planned to be in town for a few more days before heading back north to hopefully wrap the case up.
With the simple part out of the way, she paused to take a breath. She wasn’t going to stop here: She needed to get everything out on the table. Hadn’t she just learned-so very recently, and so very harshly-that immediate honesty was the best policy?
Pete continued to stare evenly at her, and she took a deep breath before she continued. “There have been some…complications. During the course of the investigation, the Inspector and I have become...romantically involved.” Pete’s gaze darkened, his eyebrows drawing together. “We’re not sleeping together,” Rose clarified, hastily-she felt herself blush at the denial. “I mean,” she began, thinking of falling asleep in his arms on his sofa-but that had been literal sleeping together and not the euphemistic kind that- She cut off the thought before it could fully form, and moved on quickly. “We’ve been on a few dates. The most we’ve done is kiss.”
She cringed inwardly; why was she even babbling about all of this, in so much detail? Was it necessary to explain precisely how far their physical relationship had progressed-wasn’t it enough to say they weren’t sleeping together? She might as well clarify how much bloody tongue was involved. Her blush deepened, and she refocused on the details that would be important to her job. “The team knows about it, as does the Inspector’s DC. He’s not married, has no entanglements that I’m aware of. It’s not a risk for blackmail.”
Pete’s gaze relaxed marginally, and he leaned back in his chair. “Do you really think that’s a good idea?”
Rose sighed and thought about the question carefully before answering. “It wasn’t planned, it just happened. There was a lot of tension between the two of us, some because he works for the police and I work for Torchwood, but there was more to it. I think it might have been more distracting if nothing had happened, if we’d tried to ignore it. The team seems to be working better together-certainly, we seem to have made great strides in the investigation since.”
She was aware that her words didn’t really answer the question. But, good idea? She couldn’t answer that-as much because as she couldn’t verbalise it as she didn’t want to think too much about it. When she’d been with Peter and he was flirting with her-or kissing her, or even just smiling at her-and she had been just letting herself enjoy him, it had seemed like the best idea she’d ever had. Right at this moment, however, it seemed like the most disastrous idea she’d ever had.
Luckily, Pete didn’t point out that she hadn’t answered his question. “How long since you started ‘dating’?”
Rose bristled. The inflection in the inquiry made it sound as if Pete doubted it could be called dating, which was a bit unfair. What, exactly, did he think it had been? Did he not believe her statement about how far her and Peter’s relationship had progressed? “Just under two weeks,” she answered, perhaps a trifle more sharply than she’d meant to.
Pete gave her another hard look. “You know I don’t approve of this, Rose. I think it’s too easy to confuse the emotions that come out while working in the field, with feelings for someone.” Rose fought down a slightly hysterical laugh at the absurdity of what Pete said. He thought that was confusing? What about when the bloke you thought you were falling for with looked just like the last bloke you’d fallen for?
Pete continued, “But-as there’s not express policy forbidding it, and as this is the first time you’ve done this, I’ll tell you what I tell everyone else. So long as your work doesn’t suffer, so long as Torchwood isn’t impacted negatively, I’ll let it go. If I find out it’s impacting work, that your team is covering for you or being adversely affected, or anything else, I’ll yank you from the investigation and you’ll be suspended from your position for a period of time. In other words-be very, very sure you know what you’re doing. Is that clear?”
It was crystal clear. Just as clear as the fact that she actually had no idea what she was doing. But she answered anyway, “Yes, sir.”
“If things work out for the two of you, so much the better.” He stood and walked around the desk before crouching in front of her. “I wish I could be your dad on this, Rose. But I can’t.”
She blinked back tears, and wished she had more of a grip on her emotions. She wanted a dad at that moment. She wanted to confess that she’d finally found a man she liked-a man she really, really, really liked-and she’d managed to ruin everything. But she couldn’t, because Pete was very much not her dad at the moment. He was her superior-the Director of the organization for whom she worked-and she was supposed to be pretending that she had everything in Kendal, from the case to her personal relationship with the local constabulary, under control. “I know. I really do.”
Clearly she was doing a bad job pretending she had everything under control, because Pete’s face now held the mildly panicking discomfort of a man suddenly faced with an emotional, irrational female. “You could talk to your mum…” he suggested, awkwardly.
Rose managed to laugh. “She’d tell you everything!”
Pete’s gaze was serious. “Not if you asked her not to. I think you need to talk to someone outside of Torchwood on this, Rose, and someone who knew the Doctor. Trust your mum.”
Rose smiled. “I do.”
Pete stood and smiled back. “Good. Now, you ready to head back to the house?”
“Whenever you are. Unless there’s anything else to talk about?”
“Nah, I’m done playing Director for the day. Time to just go back to being Dad-it’s less stressful.”
He called for the car and, after securing the office they headed downstairs. The car ride to the house was quiet, the silence comfortable, and Rose found herself growing sleepy as they neared the drive.
“When did you last sleep?” Pete asked, sympathetically.
“A proper sleep, in my bed? Oh…a few days ago?”
Pete gave her a pitying glance. “No wonder field team agents are half-crazed. They live in a permanent state of sleep deprivation.”
Rose laughed and stretched as they turned into the drive. “The adrenaline does wonders for that, you know. Or have you already forgotten, living the cushy life of domesticated male?”
“Very, very funny, missy.” Pete grinned at her.
“You’re spoiled rotten, and you know it.”
He sighed happily. “Indeed I am.”
Rose leaned back, contentedly, as the house came into view. Her mum and Pete really had settled into a life of domestic tranquillity. There were still dust-ups, still times where they realized they hadn’t always been married to each other; but Rose admired their commitment to making the relationship work, to not wasting the second chance fate had given them. Her smile faded as she wondered if she’d ever be that lucky. Was she blowing her second chance right now? Should she be up in Kendal, talking with Peter instead of down in London, staying with her family?
The car came to a stop in front of the house, and Pete once more opened the door to hand her out. Her mum met them at the door this time, giving her a bone-crunching hug before exclaiming over how tired she looked. Pete brushed a kiss over his wife’s cheek as he walked by, giving Rose a surreptitious wink before walking down one of the many hallways running off of the foyer.
“Tea won’t be ready for a bit, Rose-maybe a nap would do you?”
Rose glanced up the stairs, thinking longingly of the comfort of her room, before dragging it back to her mum. She could do with a nap, but she suspected it might largely be a delay tactic on her part. No more delaying-not anymore. She may have come to London because she was running away, but she wasn’t going to run anymore. She was going to get advice. She was going to figure out what to do about Peter. She was going to find a way to fix for it. She’d fight for him, she decided. Jackie was watching her in concern, alarmed by her daughter’s weary silence, and Rose smiled. “I’ll be ok. How about a cuppa?”
Jackie looked as though she was about to ask something, but changed her mind halfway to the question forming. “I could do with a nice hot cuppa. Like old times?”
In her time as this universe’s Jackie Tyler, Jackie had learned to accept having her tea poured out for her in the salon when company was over. She and Rose, however, had made a practice of sneaking off to the capacious kitchen to make their own mugs of tea, following the same rhythm they’d set so long ago on the Powell Estate. Jackie led the way down another of the hallways, Rose following, and they arrived in the gleaming white space to find one of the cooks bustling busily about preparing supper.
“Don’t mind us, Louise,” Jackie sing-songed as she walked through the room. Rose smiled at the startled employee as she passed, before moving to the back of the room. Tucked away in a small cabinet were several chipped, well-used mugs, and Rose grabbed two of them as her mum set the kettle-a proper tea kettle-to boil.
They were careful to keep the chit-chat neutral as they awaited the kettle, Rose talking about the beauty of the countryside around Kendal, Jackie telling her daughter of society events and the latest adventure of her younger brother John. Soon the water had boiled and, after warming the pot, Jackie measured in some leaves and poured water over them to steep. Rose ensured all of the necessary supplies were on a tea tray, and then followed her mum out of the kitchen and on towards Jackie’s ‘study.’
The small, relatively simple room had been claimed by Jackie early on in her new life with Pete. No servants were allowed in, no company-only family. It was the one place where Jackie could allow herself to be Jackie Tyler from the Powell Estates, not Jackie Tyler, Vitex Wife. “Not that I mind that, of course,” she’d told Rose long ago. “But a woman’s got to have a place of her own, hasn’t she-a place to be herself.”
They sat on opposite ends of the squishy sofa, feet tucked under legs in mirroring postures; the tea tray sat in front of them on the low table. Rose felt the tension of the past few days drain away as she and her mum sipped their tea in companionable silence. All the same, she didn’t miss the glances Jackie was giving her-the ones that showed she knew something was on Rose’s mind, but that she would wait it out until her daughter was ready to share.
As Jackie poured out a second cup, Rose finally felt up to talking. “How hard was it for you to get used to Pete?”
Jackie looked at Rose with surprise. “What d’you mean?” She set the teapot down and curled back into the sofa.
“Knowing that you were replacing someone who looked just like you-it couldn’t have been easy.”
Jackie took a sip before replying. “I look like her, love, but I’m a completely different person. Good thing, too-she sounded a right bint, did that Jackie. It wasn’t easy-you know that-but it wasn’t because I looked like Pete’s dead wife. It’s because we were two strangers who had to get to know each other.”
“Didn’t you ever wonder, though…?” Rose stopped. The question was too personal, too embarrassing. She shook her head, muttering ‘never mind’ as she took a last sip of tea. She sat up, reaching for the teapot to pour another cup.
Jackie looked at her thoughtfully. “Did I ever wonder if he wished I was his old Jackie?”
Rose set the teapot down, her eyes focused on her mug as she added milk and sugar. “Yes.”
“Of course I did! Only human, aren’t I? Was part of getting to know him, though, learning to trust him. Believe him, really. He made an effort to let me know that he wanted to learn about me, to get to know me. He tried so hard to reassure me-it made me love him even more.”
Rose had settled back against the sofa, and was staring at her tea. With her mum, Pete had made an effort, Pete had tried to reassure her. And with Peter, she had sat, tongue-tied and nervous and throbbing with hurt and worried entirely about herself, wanting Peter to reassure her that it would be fine. Bloody hell, she’d done everything exactly the wrong way, hadn’t she?
She swallowed, bracing herself to speak. “I…I met someone up in Kendal.” She raised her eyes to her mum’s.
“Oh, darling! That’s wonderful!” Jackie’s beam and enthusiasm were sincere. Why haven’t you said anything before now?”
Rose set her mug down, her interest in the hot beverage waning. “Well…we only started dating a short time ago…” She looked at Jackie, who was looking at her excitedly. “And, well, it’s complicated.” She wanted to snort at her own understatement.
Jackie set her mug down next to Rose’s. “Did you meet him through work?”
Rose did smile at that. “Yeah. He works for the police up there. He’s…well, he’s the detective we’ve been working with.”
“The same one who’s been driving you spare these five weeks?” Jackie’s voice rose in surprise. Rose had been telling her mum about the conflicts with Peter, beginning that first week; had used his actions and sarcasm as comic relief on several occasions as she updated her mum every Sunday night. “I thought you didn’t get on?”
Rose laughed ruefully. “We didn’t. And then we did. He…there’s more to him than I was giving him credit for.”
“I should hope so, if you’ve decided to see him,” Jackie said pragmatically. “What happened, then?”
“I don’t now. It was like…like someone flipped a switch. Went from arguing and bein’ catty to just…” Rose trailed off as she remembered being kissed by Peter in the car. “He’s lovely, Mum. Funny, and smart, and clever-”
“A good kisser, too.” It was more of a statement than a question, and Rose blushed.
“Yeah. He’s not like any of the other blokes I’ve met here. He doesn’t care about Pete or the money, hasn’t tried to be anything he isn’t. He’s not perfect…but he’s just who he is.” Rose shifted to fully face her mum. Now that she’d started talking about Peter, she suddenly didn’t want to stop talking about him. She wanted to tell her mother everything about him, every adorable, charming, uniquely Peter-y thing he had ever done, so that she would understand how wonderful he was. “First date, he takes me for a picnic up on this gorgeous hill overlooking the town. It was lovely; we just talked and watched the clouds. Second date, we go for chips, sit by the river and…just talk. It was lovely.” She felt tears prick as she remembered how vulnerable Peter had been that night. “He…he just…opened up to me. He trusts me, Mum. He trusted me. He…It was our second date, Mum, and he…He’s just…” She felt words fail her. “I’ve really never met anyone like him.”
Jackie was silent, watching her daughter for a moment before responding. “You really like him, don’t you, sweetheart?”
Rose nodded her head, biting her lip. She knew she’d made it sound perfect-a romantic idyll up in Kendal. Here she was, misleading people again. Telling her mum that Peter looked like the Doctor was proving to be almost as hard as it had been to tell Peter himself.
“So, if you’re so happy up there with him, why are you down here looking miserable?” Jackie’s voice was sympathetic.
Trust her mum to suss her out. Jackie’s ability to see through Rose had been the reason she and Mickey had come up with the honesty policy in the first place. She took a deep breath. “Peter looks like the Doctor.”
Jackie sat back in surprise, her mouth open in a small ‘oh’ before she collected herself. “He’s not a Manc with big ears, is he?”
Rose laughed. She’d not expected her mum to assume he looked like her first Doctor. “No, Mum. He’s not a Manc. He looks like the last one. Only Scottish,” she added, almost as an afterthought.
Jackie’s face registered comprehension briefly, before becoming confused once again. “Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. You told him about the Doctor. Right?”
Rose felt her heart sink. Jackie’s expression grew slightly less sympathetic. “You did tell him, Rose? Before you did anything?”
Rose opened her mouth to speak; shut it.
“Rose!”
“No, Mum! Not like that!” Rose addressed Jackie’s immediate concern. “We never…that is…”
“Well, that’s a relief.” Jackie’s voice was dry and held a hint of steel.
“I might have waited to tell him, though. Just a bit.”
Jackie gave her daughter a hard stare. “Rose, you’re going to have to be a bit clearer.”
Rose shrank into the corner of the sofa. Her mum was not going to approve. “I, er…told him Saturday.”
“Saturday? Over a week ago?”
Rose swallowed, slouching further into the sofa. “No.” Her voice was small.
“Rose Marion Tyler!” Jackie’s voice was full of disapproval. “You strung this poor man along without telling him that he looked like the love of your life?”
“’s not like that, Mum!”
“How many dates did you go on? How many chances did you have to get things out in the open?”
“Five dates,” Rose practically whispered. She felt terrible-more terrible, she amended. She had to make some attempt to defend herself, to make her mother understand why she had delayed. “But-“
“Don’t ‘but’ me! You should have told him as soon as you realized he was serious, Rose!”
“I didn’t want to lose him!” Rose burst out. She shut her mouth in shock; Jackie narrowed her eyes at her daughter.
“He’s not a replacement for the Doctor, Rose.”
“I know that! That isn’t why I don’t want to lose him! Haven’t you been listening? I like him. I like him! ”
Jackie eyed her thoughtfully. “Does he know he’s not a replacement? Did you tell him that? Or did you just tell him that he looked like the Doctor?”
“I-” Rose thought back to the conversation in the garden. She’d been so terrified of losing Peter, of her feelings being hurt-so focused on herself that she’d not thought to reassure him. She closed her eyes in shame. “No.”
The room fell silent; Jackie’s quiet disappointment and disapproval were more painful than any amount of yelling could have been.
Rose tried to rally. “He didn’t take it well, Mum. Just shut me out-”
“Did you even try to tell him, sweetheart?”
“No, I…was so scared. And hurt. And I just-” Rose felt a tear escape, and hastily wiped it away. “And then I came down here because it was easier than facing him. He’d been so warm, so easygoing; to see that go away because I’d told him about the Doctor…”
“This isn’t about you, though, is it, sweetheart?” Jackie’s voice was gentle.
Rose felt her stomach drop as she looked at the chintz fabric of the sofa. “No,” she sniffled.
Jackie scooted over, reached out, enfolded Rose in a hug. “Oh, love.”
Rose hesitantly wrapped her arms around her mum. “I really bollixed this up, didn’t I,” she said into her mum’s shoulder.
“A bit, yes. You need to go back and see if you can’t fix things. Assuming he’s still interested and willing to listen.”
Rose tilted her head back to look at her mum. “I really do like him. For him. I just…God, it hurt.”
Jackie gave her a quick squeeze. “But it’s not about you, love. If you want to try to make this work, you really do have to think about him. Pete was wonderful about telling me why he loved-loves-me. But I also had to let him know that I love him because he’s Peter Michael Tyler. He might look like your dad, but he’s a completely different man. He’s wonderful, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything, no matter how much I miss your father. Pete’s here with me now-and I love him because he’s Pete. But I needed to let him know that-and I did, every chance I got. Still do. Because he should know how much I love him.”
Rose sniffled, wiped away another rogue tear, and nodded. “Peter…he…” She felt her heart clench as she thought of him. She looked at her mum. “He’s Peter,” she said, simply.
Her mum nodded, satisfied. “You need to tell him that. Go back to Kendal, don’t hide down here. You’ll hate yourself, and it’s not like you to run from a challenge.”
Rose laughed self-deprecatingly. “Seem to have a history of it in relationships.” She stopped, realization hitting her. “Mickey’s really going to make Peter’s life a misery.”
Jackie tutted. “Always did have a blind spot for you, did Mickey. He should have told you all of this.”
“He found me when I was wallowing in self-pity.”
Jackie shook her head. “No excuse-he knows better, having had to go through it himself. We’re going to have a little talking-to when I see him next.”
Rose smiled. “Poor Mickey.”
“Poor Peter.” Jackie’s voice held a note of reproach. Rose’s smile faded.
“Mum…can you not tell Pete?”
Jackie looked hesitant, and Rose continued. “He knows Peter and I are-were-seeing each other. He doesn’t want to know anything else-didn’t want to, at any rate. And he said you’d not tell him if I asked you not to.”
Jackie peered at Rose; Rose was reminded of childhood interrogations, when her mum was trying to get her to tell on one of the neighbourhood children. “I don’t know, Rose. How serious are you about this man?”
Rose steeled herself to meet her mother’s gaze. “Very.”
Jackie nodded, shortly. “Then I’ll keep it to myself. But you have to go make things right by Peter.”
“I will. I have one last thing to take care of down here, and then I’ll go back to Kendal.”
Jackie stood. “That’s my Rose.” Rose stood next to her mum. Jackie smiled at her, loving and gentle, and Rose thought about how grateful she was that she had her. What would she ever do without her? She couldn’t imagine what life would have been like in a universe with no Jackie Tyler. “You feel better, sweetheart?”
“Loads. Pete knew what he was about when he told me to talk to you.” She grinned and leaned in to her mum.
“He’s a smart man, is Pete.” Jackie’s grin mirrored that of Rose. “Let’s go see what trouble he and John have got into.”