(no subject)
Today I walked around the busy NYC streets alone. There was just so many couples passing me by. When you don't have anyone to call your own you're more aware of these things. It feels like guys have been avoiding me lately as if I'm not really wanted around anywhere.
I stopped by a small restaurant thinking that there wouldn't be anyone there. I sat picking at my food and I saw this teenage couple sit down at a table. They were so happy and they held hands the whole time, and would lean across the table just to kiss the other. I felt my heart drop to the ground and wanted to bang my head on the wall next to me wondering why I can't have that.
I went to find Jaime at the hotel she was staying. She and I didn't go anywhere because I was tired of walking around roaming NYC. We sat in her hotel room ordering food and watching the tv. Later on we sat and talked about stupid stuff we did back then. I can't recall a time I have laughed so hard. I laughed so hard I cried but I had a feeling it was also because I felt so alone even though I really wasn't. I left sometime around midnight and went back to my cold apartment and fell into bed exhausted. I spend some time staring at the ceiling and I slowly fell asleep. I don't know what I dreamed about, but it was a good one. I didn't want to wake up to today, but here I am.
I need ice cream.
I stopped by a small restaurant thinking that there wouldn't be anyone there. I sat picking at my food and I saw this teenage couple sit down at a table. They were so happy and they held hands the whole time, and would lean across the table just to kiss the other. I felt my heart drop to the ground and wanted to bang my head on the wall next to me wondering why I can't have that.
I went to find Jaime at the hotel she was staying. She and I didn't go anywhere because I was tired of walking around roaming NYC. We sat in her hotel room ordering food and watching the tv. Later on we sat and talked about stupid stuff we did back then. I can't recall a time I have laughed so hard. I laughed so hard I cried but I had a feeling it was also because I felt so alone even though I really wasn't. I left sometime around midnight and went back to my cold apartment and fell into bed exhausted. I spend some time staring at the ceiling and I slowly fell asleep. I don't know what I dreamed about, but it was a good one. I didn't want to wake up to today, but here I am.
I need ice cream.