I don't think your outlook makes you a bad person at all. I feel the exact same way about my grandmother, though she isn't dead yet. She's 97 and in a nursing home and just generally not doing well. I guess I'm slightly closer to her than you were, but sometimes I do just think taking all the pain away would be better than the life she currently has. I don't pray, but if I did, it would honestly be to not live to be 97. My thoughts are with your family, in any case.
I don't think you sound horrible and selfish at all. I felt much the same way when both of my grandmothers passed away. The one who passed away first had been sick on and off for a long time, and I was kind of relieved that she didn't have to suffer anymore. I felt badly for my grandfather and for my mom and my aunts, but I didn't really feel badly myself, if that makes sense
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Nope....you aren't a bad person. I think what you are feeling is normal as you don't have the emotional attachment to your Grandma like your Mom does.
I feel the same way about my paternal grandmother. I haven't seen her since 1998, she lives in South Africa at a nursing home and she can't take care of herself at all because she's had a series of strokes over the past year. With each stroke, she gets worse and I am sure eventually her body will shut down. When she goes, I won't be upset about it because I know she won't be suffering anymore. Plus I don't have that close bond with her...she's always lived in SA so I only saw her every few years.
I'm sorry about your grandmother. I felt the same way when my grandma died, I was more sad for my dad than for me. Just be there for your mom, that's the best thing to do.
I completely agree with what Bing said. Both of my grandparents passed away last year and one of hubby's did also and it really affected us differently then I would have expected. My mom was a mess but we both felt like it was good that they were no longer in pain. I think you are doing the right thing by offering support to your mom.
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I feel the same way about my paternal grandmother. I haven't seen her since 1998, she lives in South Africa at a nursing home and she can't take care of herself at all because she's had a series of strokes over the past year. With each stroke, she gets worse and I am sure eventually her body will shut down. When she goes, I won't be upset about it because I know she won't be suffering anymore. Plus I don't have that close bond with her...she's always lived in SA so I only saw her every few years.
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