oh livejournal, where have you been all my life?
or rather, where have I been all your life? i feel like i can type things out here, and they will not be quite so public as my thoughts tend to be on xanga. sorry for ditching you for so long, lj. it really wasn't fair, was it?
who.. am i?
who? am i?
who am? i?
in a word? interstitial. in-between. i am, but i am not. i am happy, but i am not. i am sad, but i am not. i am not comfortable at home. i am not comfortable at school. i am reading my bible and trying to change, but i still am messing up SO much. i wake up and go to sleep with a determination to be kind, to be loving, to be consistent... and as soon as i am faced with a circumstance i bend to the temptation and lash out, or do things my way.
who am i to judge others when i am such a piece of work myself?
i'm so sick of ALMOST making it. i almost got an A in studio. I almost have a 2.3. i'm almost good. i'm almost there. i'm sick of thinking about doing things, and then sitting on my butt and letting them go by.
i wanna be beautiful.
i wanna be humble
i wanna shine
i wanna love others without thinking twice about it
i wanna love life again
i wanna not have all these doubts over myself, my relationships.
i wanna be free.
jesus, show me how to be free
how to let go of these
things that keep me from getting closer
show me how to be free
how to let go of these
things that keep me from getting closer
i'm getting closer to you?
who.. am i?
who? am i?
who am? i?
in a word? interstitial. in-between. i am, but i am not. i am happy, but i am not. i am sad, but i am not. i am not comfortable at home. i am not comfortable at school. i am reading my bible and trying to change, but i still am messing up SO much. i wake up and go to sleep with a determination to be kind, to be loving, to be consistent... and as soon as i am faced with a circumstance i bend to the temptation and lash out, or do things my way.
who am i to judge others when i am such a piece of work myself?
i'm so sick of ALMOST making it. i almost got an A in studio. I almost have a 2.3. i'm almost good. i'm almost there. i'm sick of thinking about doing things, and then sitting on my butt and letting them go by.
i wanna be beautiful.
i wanna be humble
i wanna shine
i wanna love others without thinking twice about it
i wanna love life again
i wanna not have all these doubts over myself, my relationships.
i wanna be free.
jesus, show me how to be free
how to let go of these
things that keep me from getting closer
show me how to be free
how to let go of these
things that keep me from getting closer
i'm getting closer to you?