Cursing at Work

Jun 25, 2008 21:10

Funny.....

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be  tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective  manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
 INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number  2  
 TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
 INSTEAD OF: She's a  f___ing bit__.

Number  3  
 TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
 INSTEAD OF: And when the f___  do you expect me to do this?

Number  4  
 TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
 INSTEAD OF: No f___ing  way.

Number  5  
 TRY SAYING: Really?
 INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number  6  
 TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
 INSTEAD OF: Tell  someone who gives a sh__.

Number  7  
 TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
 INSTEAD OF: It's not  my f___ing problem.

Number  8  
 TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
 INSTEAD OF: What the  f___?

Number  9  
 TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented
 INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number  10  
 TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
 INSTEAD OF: Why the f___  didn't you tell me sooner?

Number  11  
 TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
 INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number  12  
 TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
 INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number13 
 TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
 INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number  14  
 TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
 INSTEAD OF: F__ it,  I'm on salary.

Number  15  
 TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
 INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number  16  
 TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
 INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number  17  
 TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
 INSTEAD OF: Who the  f___ died and made you boss?

Number  18  
 TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
 INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
 Human Resources 
 

joke

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