Reflections of the way Paula used to be

[jlh]

Woe for it is the finals and I don't think we get Ryan in jeans anymore. Instead he looks like a banker. I have no idea why he wears so much grey because I really don't think it suits him, and when he puts his hands in his pockets and he's wearing a vest he just looks wide. Well, at least we have stubble, and a shirt that matches his eyes.

Here's what you really want:
Ryan: Simon, any advice on the high heels?
Simon: You should know, Ryan!
Ryan: Stay out of my closet!
Simon: Come out!
Ryan: This is about the top 12, okay? Not your wishes!

Diana Ross had on a great wig tonight. (Sometimes, her wigs are a little weird.) HA, that she thought Chris S. was nervous and he's all, "I don't get nervous." She did use the word "pronunciate" with Gina which I don't think is a word, but I'll give her that. I love that she kept telling them to figure out where the hook is and sell the song to the audience. A pro before she was a diva, was Miss Ross, and don't you forget it.

Why did Ryan have a hand mike at the beginning? He reminded me so much of his idol Merv with the whole cuing the band schtick. The "I'll do the intro from the audience" stuff, though, reminded me of when Dick Clark would intro the performers surrounded by the kids on American Bandstand. Was that really his Nana? And I love it when he sits on the stage because he looks so ickle.

Meanwhile, why didn't the cue come in for Melinda to walk across the stage, so Ryan had to call her over off mike? Did you notice that the Edy's ice cream ad about the bad female singer was . . . the first ad after Haley sang. Ouch! Also, what was Simon trying to hide in Ryan's pocket? Looked like a lipgloss to me. Nice positive reinforcement with the special thanks for Paula at the end. She was coherent and she wasn't always positive and she actually had some great comments that weren't just parroting Randy.

1. Brandon, "Can't Hurry Love." Okay, do NOT tell me he just fucked up. Well, in a sense he didn't? He just didn't remember how the song was edited. Ugh. *votes 12 times*
   
2. Melinda, "Home." Could that dress be more unflattering? Where were the Gayles? I never noticed her tummy until tonight, for reals. Of course, she was completely fucking amazing. Besides, she made Paula cry.
   
3. Chris Sligh, "Endless Love." So basically Diana was like, don't fuck with Lionel's song, or no one will know what the fuck you're doing, and guess what? She was totally right. He made an admittedly schmaltzy song into a Coldplay song. Is this an improvement? I mean, he sounded fine, but is he appealing to the kids at the cost of the older folks who had that song at like, their prom or something?
   
4. Gina, "Love Child." Gina has a great voice, but she really needs to do a lot of breathing work, as she has a tendency to run out of steam half way through the song. And since all the runs and tricky stuff are at the end, she can't power her way through them, so she shouts instead, and goes off pitch.
   
5. Sanjaya, "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." Okay, what the fuck with the curls and the rugby shirt? And you have to be kidding me with that song. I never knew you could sort of mumble your way through that song, but he certainly did it, though he was so lost in the arrangement it was like listening to Badly Drawn Boy. Well, at least he made Randy laugh. But Simon was such an ass to him that he's totally going to be here another week.
   
6. Haley, "Missing You." Someone needs to teach that girl not to hold the mike in front of her face. Also, that was not the dress to wear when perched on a stool, with that band across her thighs. She looked like an adult in a baby chair. Oh, and she sort of forgot the words there, and showed off how thin her voice is. I loved her reaction to Simon being nice to her, but yeah, not so much a pro there.
   
7. Phil, "Make You Love Me." Is it just me, or does Phil kind of look like Ellen DeGeneres when he smiles? As Randy said, the vocal was solid but the performance was really boring. I kept forgetting it was on, rewinding it, and then forgetting to listen again.
   
8. LaKisha, "God Bless the Child." I love that the first thing Diana said to her was basically, "Come on, yo mamma don't call you LaKisha." I love LaKisha's really technical question for Diana. As for the song, I've been listening to Liza sing this all year (it's part of "Liza with a Z") and that's a really different sound, of course. Randy was so right that LaKisha approached it with real restraint yet sounded amazing. And hello, she owned that stage. Small thing: I think she might have looked a little better in a silver that was more gunmetal and less aluminum. I love that she always gets in a "thank you" before they cut her mike.
   
9. Blake, "You Keep Me Hanging On." So there's this thing C____ says about drumming, that you shouldn't do fills if you can't get back to the beat, and that's how I felt at the end when he got a little behind the beat there. It's a really adjustable song (ask Kim Wilde) but as the judges said, he didn't really sing enough. He needs to trust his voice and not be so tricky about everything.
   
10. Stephanie, "Love Hangover." Why is she wearing a Persian rug? Now I want to hear Diana's version of this song because as the judges said, it was a big tease! (Say, can anyone send it to me?) Anyway, it was just eh.
    
11. Chris Richardson, "The Boss." Chris, when you go into the audience and Paula is dancing, fucking dance with the woman, dumbass. I didn't think the vocal was terrible, but it wasn't all that interesting, and a bit thin.
    
12. Jordin, "If We Hold On Together." Wow, she looked HOT. I love that Jordin is like, going through songs from movies she watched as a child. She doesn't have a strong head voice so the transitions to that upper range were a little "gear change"-y, but her performance and her stage craft were fantastic. Also, she kept up that "shrink down to shorter than Ryan" schtick. *votes*

Poll The Twelve Apostles of Diana Ross