ON HYPOTHETICALS OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS
"So if I had lived in Biblical times, I would have fucked up God's plan with Samson and Delilah. Consider me Delilah. I love long hair and scruff...full beards included. I would have quivered at the thought of cutting of Samson's hair, thrown the cutting apparatus out of the window, and had a hot and throbbing session of fornication instead. I would have ruined the Bible and foreshadowed Mary Magdalene, forever remembered as the whore who loved long hair and beards. Yeah, you know it bitches!"