lots of shit
FUCKING COMPUTER FROZE WHEN I WAS TRYING TO ENTER ALL THIS SHIT JUST A MINUTE AGO...I HAD A LOOOOOOOOONG FUCKING ENTRY TOO DAMNIT! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Ok, so here's the deal...AGAIN
see if I can get through this shit without the fucking computer freezing again.
Alright....where to start....ummmm, we'll start with threesixtysmile.
As I've said before in here somewhere, I work for them as their merch girl. So, they got signed by Budweiser True Music as the first band to be picked up for 2005. They got signed right around Christmas, so congrats to them!
They had initially asked me to go out on tour with them this year. I was so fucking stoked about that. Well, the finalized contract came through and Budweiser stated that any out of town shows, their manager would be running merch. Basically because they don't want to have to pay more people than is neccesary. Since they don't know that threesixtysmile will bring them a lot of money, they're not going to invest way too much into them yet.
So blah...but I was invited to come along to any shows I feel like attending. So that's tits.
Natas told me about the contract on New Year's Eve when we were out. Apparantly they had known for a few days, but none of them wanted to tell me because they all wanted me to go on the tour with them. Jessi said they'd been trying to figure out for a few days how to tell me.
Currently they are on a hiatus while they're recording their new EP. It's due out sometime in February. I'm looking forward to a new cd from them. I already know all the songs that are going to be on the cd, but I still want a new cd from them.
So, I also work merch for Field of Grey. Those guys are fucking nuts, but so much fun to be around. I fell into that when I was at a show one night and it somehow got brought up that I work merch for 360, so Chris asked me if I'd run merch for them too.
I've done a few shows with them now. They're good guys to work for. J.P. was nice enough to organize my merch box for me the other night before the Friday show. He inventoried all of it for me and labeled all my shirts, God love him!
So they had a show on Friday night that I worked...they headlined. I got to see 2 bands I'd been dying to see live. One was Sofachrome, I've never seen them live before so that was straight tits.
The other band was Tryptophane, whom I've seen live before. I talked to Vince at the last show they played that I was at. He seen me and remembered me from that show.
So, that is the next thing. I've been recruited to work for Tryptophane now too!! HAHAHAHAA. I'm SUCH a local band whore.
Vince chatted me up for a while...then he introduced me to Bill, the singer for their band. So, Bill spent a good part of the night at my merch booth chatting me up. He's a total sweetheart. He and Vince informed me of a party at their "Jam House."
So yeah, these guys are a bunch of frat boys. But they are fucking cool. I've had my fair share of run-ins with frat boys (my ex's crowd)...and these guys are top of the line.
Except maybe Oogie...little butthead that one is. I like him though. Just a butthead.
Vince and Bill talked me into coming out to their party. Unfortunately I had my pain in the ass, party pooper friend Robert with me. That asshole straight cock-blocked me!
According to him, Bill is very interested in me. Which I highly doubt...because NO GUYS are interested in me. Regardless...me and Bill got all buddy buddy at the party and after being there for a little over 2 hours, Robert started bitching about how long we'd been there and that he wanted to go home. DAMN HIM!
At the house, Bill asked if anybody would help him bring in the Brandon's drum set. Vince and Oogie refused since they loaded it up into Vince's Expedition. So I volunteered to help. On my way out the door to the SUV, I FLEW off the fucking stairs. Fucking ice. I got a nasty bruise on my shin now. Not one of those you can see...the worst ones, you can't see it so you don't know it's there until something hits it. GOD! So Bill picked me up and moved me to another part of the sidewalk. He was cool and never even laughed. Fucking Oogie was laughing his ass off and was trying to make money off of me. APPARANTLY he had made a bet with somebody that somebody would fall on the ice. Nice, eh? Like I said, butthead.
Oh well...I get to see them again on the 29th...so that is tits. Next time they have a party though...I'm going alone...fucking cock-blockers get on my damn nerves.
Well, I doubt Bill was interested in me anyways...but Robert claims that he is. So who knows.
Speaking of cock blocking...let's talk sex
or the lack thereof.
Yeah...I'm not getting any...and I doubt I will ever get any again. None of the guys I've shown interest to have reciprocated mutual feelings. OR, they have some lame ass excuse.
Here's the issue:
Johnny...yeah, you should ALL know who that mfer is. The INFAMOUS sock-boy. He doesn't have the balls to go through with sleeping with me. . He and I have agreed it would just be best if we just remain friends. I don't want to ruin the friendship I have with him. I do work for his band and that would be a bad thing if things went sour between us. So, so much for that.
Mike...NEVER has time. He has 15 minutes to spare at a time and he thinks that is good enough. But then he'll tell me, "Well, I don't have a condom, so maybe you could just give me head instead?" Would somebody explain to me how the fuck that is supposed to get me off?
Chris...married...'Nuff said. That, I have moral issues with.
Relationships?
Well that is all bullshit. I don't believe in romance. Romance is for suckers and the weak at heart. I'm too bull-headed for all this fucking bullshit. Love is a fucking fallacy. I don't even think true love exists. Nobody has the same perception of what love truely is. And relationships are nothing but unneccesary drama.
I'm sick of all the petty bullshit that comes with them. So I am trying to avoid them now.
As if that's hard...there aren't any guys interested in me anyways.
No, I take that back. The psychos are interested in me. Why do the psychos always find me? I had a guy in my IMs tonight who asked if he could come get me and bring me back to his place to watch a movie...I said I wasn't comfortable with that since I didn't know him...he FLIPPED OUT on me. So yeah, I guess it's a good thing I said no, he pro'lly woulda raped me or something.
Go figure, his name is John. That, I have decided is a bad name. I'm avoiding John's at all costs from now on.
SO yeah...the gist of it is, I don't believe in relationships anymore. I'm jaded. Nothing good has EVER come from ANY of my relationships. They've all ended sour...
I just got out of a 3 year relationship with a fucking drunk...the one before that was totally abusive. Just....why is it that I can't find a guy who will treat me with respect?
So fuck it. I give up. I'm too leary about getting screwed over and hurt again. I've loved people and had them totally tear me down as a way of showing their gratitude.
I was accused tonight of expecting everything to be handed to me on a platter. BULLSHIT. Just because I don't believe in love or relationships. I don't expect that shit to just fall into my lap. I have always worked to get what I want. My 3 year relationship...I WORKED MY ASS OFF to make that son of a bitch last that fucking long. And all I have to show for it is heartache. It was a fuckign waste of my time. Damn drunks.
So I'm fucking jaded. Big fucking deal. I think love and romance is bullshit.
And so is sex.
I've had it with guys, honestly. Most guys see me as "one of the guys."
I go out of my way to help these bands out...and I don't expect anything from them. I'm glad that they want to be my friends.
I carry myself in a positive manner. I do myself up when I'm going out. I don't always dress up...but I do make-up or whatever. Occasionally I will dress up...but I'm not too comfortable doing that.
But, I do it for myself...I take care of myself.
It's all to no avail anyways. No matter what I do, where I go, how I look, no guys are interested in me. And it's typically because all the girls around here are much prettier than I am. I've had TWO guys in the last 5 years tell me that I'm "hot" so I don't believe that shit. I'm not hot. I'm not fucking sexy. I just am.
I don't think I'm like, butt ass ugly or anything. But I really don't think that I'm pretty at all.
Life's a fucking bitch and I'm sick of mine.
DOWN WITH ROMANCE AND DOWN WITH WAL-MART!
Ok, so here's the deal...AGAIN
see if I can get through this shit without the fucking computer freezing again.
Alright....where to start....ummmm, we'll start with threesixtysmile.
As I've said before in here somewhere, I work for them as their merch girl. So, they got signed by Budweiser True Music as the first band to be picked up for 2005. They got signed right around Christmas, so congrats to them!
They had initially asked me to go out on tour with them this year. I was so fucking stoked about that. Well, the finalized contract came through and Budweiser stated that any out of town shows, their manager would be running merch. Basically because they don't want to have to pay more people than is neccesary. Since they don't know that threesixtysmile will bring them a lot of money, they're not going to invest way too much into them yet.
So blah...but I was invited to come along to any shows I feel like attending. So that's tits.
Natas told me about the contract on New Year's Eve when we were out. Apparantly they had known for a few days, but none of them wanted to tell me because they all wanted me to go on the tour with them. Jessi said they'd been trying to figure out for a few days how to tell me.
Currently they are on a hiatus while they're recording their new EP. It's due out sometime in February. I'm looking forward to a new cd from them. I already know all the songs that are going to be on the cd, but I still want a new cd from them.
So, I also work merch for Field of Grey. Those guys are fucking nuts, but so much fun to be around. I fell into that when I was at a show one night and it somehow got brought up that I work merch for 360, so Chris asked me if I'd run merch for them too.
I've done a few shows with them now. They're good guys to work for. J.P. was nice enough to organize my merch box for me the other night before the Friday show. He inventoried all of it for me and labeled all my shirts, God love him!
So they had a show on Friday night that I worked...they headlined. I got to see 2 bands I'd been dying to see live. One was Sofachrome, I've never seen them live before so that was straight tits.
The other band was Tryptophane, whom I've seen live before. I talked to Vince at the last show they played that I was at. He seen me and remembered me from that show.
So, that is the next thing. I've been recruited to work for Tryptophane now too!! HAHAHAHAA. I'm SUCH a local band whore.
Vince chatted me up for a while...then he introduced me to Bill, the singer for their band. So, Bill spent a good part of the night at my merch booth chatting me up. He's a total sweetheart. He and Vince informed me of a party at their "Jam House."
So yeah, these guys are a bunch of frat boys. But they are fucking cool. I've had my fair share of run-ins with frat boys (my ex's crowd)...and these guys are top of the line.
Except maybe Oogie...little butthead that one is. I like him though. Just a butthead.
Vince and Bill talked me into coming out to their party. Unfortunately I had my pain in the ass, party pooper friend Robert with me. That asshole straight cock-blocked me!
According to him, Bill is very interested in me. Which I highly doubt...because NO GUYS are interested in me. Regardless...me and Bill got all buddy buddy at the party and after being there for a little over 2 hours, Robert started bitching about how long we'd been there and that he wanted to go home. DAMN HIM!
At the house, Bill asked if anybody would help him bring in the Brandon's drum set. Vince and Oogie refused since they loaded it up into Vince's Expedition. So I volunteered to help. On my way out the door to the SUV, I FLEW off the fucking stairs. Fucking ice. I got a nasty bruise on my shin now. Not one of those you can see...the worst ones, you can't see it so you don't know it's there until something hits it. GOD! So Bill picked me up and moved me to another part of the sidewalk. He was cool and never even laughed. Fucking Oogie was laughing his ass off and was trying to make money off of me. APPARANTLY he had made a bet with somebody that somebody would fall on the ice. Nice, eh? Like I said, butthead.
Oh well...I get to see them again on the 29th...so that is tits. Next time they have a party though...I'm going alone...fucking cock-blockers get on my damn nerves.
Well, I doubt Bill was interested in me anyways...but Robert claims that he is. So who knows.
Speaking of cock blocking...let's talk sex
or the lack thereof.
Yeah...I'm not getting any...and I doubt I will ever get any again. None of the guys I've shown interest to have reciprocated mutual feelings. OR, they have some lame ass excuse.
Here's the issue:
Johnny...yeah, you should ALL know who that mfer is. The INFAMOUS sock-boy. He doesn't have the balls to go through with sleeping with me. . He and I have agreed it would just be best if we just remain friends. I don't want to ruin the friendship I have with him. I do work for his band and that would be a bad thing if things went sour between us. So, so much for that.
Mike...NEVER has time. He has 15 minutes to spare at a time and he thinks that is good enough. But then he'll tell me, "Well, I don't have a condom, so maybe you could just give me head instead?" Would somebody explain to me how the fuck that is supposed to get me off?
Chris...married...'Nuff said. That, I have moral issues with.
Relationships?
Well that is all bullshit. I don't believe in romance. Romance is for suckers and the weak at heart. I'm too bull-headed for all this fucking bullshit. Love is a fucking fallacy. I don't even think true love exists. Nobody has the same perception of what love truely is. And relationships are nothing but unneccesary drama.
I'm sick of all the petty bullshit that comes with them. So I am trying to avoid them now.
As if that's hard...there aren't any guys interested in me anyways.
No, I take that back. The psychos are interested in me. Why do the psychos always find me? I had a guy in my IMs tonight who asked if he could come get me and bring me back to his place to watch a movie...I said I wasn't comfortable with that since I didn't know him...he FLIPPED OUT on me. So yeah, I guess it's a good thing I said no, he pro'lly woulda raped me or something.
Go figure, his name is John. That, I have decided is a bad name. I'm avoiding John's at all costs from now on.
SO yeah...the gist of it is, I don't believe in relationships anymore. I'm jaded. Nothing good has EVER come from ANY of my relationships. They've all ended sour...
I just got out of a 3 year relationship with a fucking drunk...the one before that was totally abusive. Just....why is it that I can't find a guy who will treat me with respect?
So fuck it. I give up. I'm too leary about getting screwed over and hurt again. I've loved people and had them totally tear me down as a way of showing their gratitude.
I was accused tonight of expecting everything to be handed to me on a platter. BULLSHIT. Just because I don't believe in love or relationships. I don't expect that shit to just fall into my lap. I have always worked to get what I want. My 3 year relationship...I WORKED MY ASS OFF to make that son of a bitch last that fucking long. And all I have to show for it is heartache. It was a fuckign waste of my time. Damn drunks.
So I'm fucking jaded. Big fucking deal. I think love and romance is bullshit.
And so is sex.
I've had it with guys, honestly. Most guys see me as "one of the guys."
I go out of my way to help these bands out...and I don't expect anything from them. I'm glad that they want to be my friends.
I carry myself in a positive manner. I do myself up when I'm going out. I don't always dress up...but I do make-up or whatever. Occasionally I will dress up...but I'm not too comfortable doing that.
But, I do it for myself...I take care of myself.
It's all to no avail anyways. No matter what I do, where I go, how I look, no guys are interested in me. And it's typically because all the girls around here are much prettier than I am. I've had TWO guys in the last 5 years tell me that I'm "hot" so I don't believe that shit. I'm not hot. I'm not fucking sexy. I just am.
I don't think I'm like, butt ass ugly or anything. But I really don't think that I'm pretty at all.
Life's a fucking bitch and I'm sick of mine.
DOWN WITH ROMANCE AND DOWN WITH WAL-MART!