College.....
Why does everything here seem to be 10 times worse than they were in Westland? All Bruce and I do is fight. I do not like it at all. And he does not seem to care about what is going on. He is more into what plans he can make for what days and who he is going to hang out with and do things with. And what he can do by himself. And when he talks to people about his family it is only about Brett, Brandan, and Hanna. Not Emily and I. But like at church he has to introduce us because we are there with him but everywhere else we are nobody's. When will I actually have the courage to get up and leave? I love the kids and do not want to emotionally damage them more than they have been. They need someone who loves them and is constantly there for them. they have just recently started to show emotions and be more open. I do not want that to change. And the fact that I love Bruce. I just wish we could actually talk about things and he would tell me what he is doing so I do not have to worry or so that I can go do things too. I have made friends at work that I can go and do things with but he will not tell me his plans so I can not go and do anything. It really bothers me to no end. Yet i bring up the subject and he denies everything. Stating that he does talk and tell me about things but in truth he really does not. I need some cash to go and get some things from the store. Like bread but he did not come home today like he was supposed to do. he is at the computer lab which I truly do not mind but I would have liked to been told what he was planning on doing. It would have been nice to know that he will not be home till after 8 pm tonight. I think I may actually have to start to use this journal thing more so that I can get my aggressions out and maybe that will make me a little happier and make it easier to deal with things that are going on in life right now.