Bono Announces Mass Relief Efforts from Foundation of Envrionmental Sciences and Development
Tuesday, September 20, 2005. The world has been through a lot in the last few weeks, but a celebrity spokesman still carry a certain amount of clout. Bono, lead singer of U2 and known activist, certainly knows how to put on a show.
"Thank you all for coming. The Foundation has a couple of grand announcements. First, I should point out that my good friend Ibn Head can't make it this evening due to a family emergency. I know that his thoughts are with us. And I'd like to say a couple of things about him. The man cares. He's a little shy, but he cares more than most people realize. During the plague, he worked tirelessly to get help to those that needed it and I understand that he worked a little on helping find a cure. That only would be impressive. But this next announcement is just astonishing. Ibn Head has patented a formula for low cost water purification. This formula could make Ibn a very rich man and has been tested in a few select markets. Instead, he asked me to announce that he's going to release the formula. Anyone can use the formula. We all need to pitch in and help the planet, he told me. If not, it's going to die," Bono says.
The reporters go wild with questions. Bono holds up his hand. "Let me finish please. Lots of economic and ecologic damage has been done to the world. We need volunteers. In the next couple of days, we're going to be asking for donations. We have a chance to make serious changes in the world. Let's not let this go. Ask two questions."
One reporter edges out the others. "Ibn Head has been romantically link to a number of women in the super hero community. Is he a meta?"
Bono nods. "At present, Ibn isn't linked to anyone romantically. He's had some personal difficulties of late. And no, he's not a meta."
Another reporter raises her hand. "Is this a bid for running for public office?"
Bono smiles as though to say, hey, I'm Bono, love me. "I don't know the answer to that. Hopefully, Mr. Head will be able to answer those question when he returns. And now if you will excuse me...."
"Thank you all for coming. The Foundation has a couple of grand announcements. First, I should point out that my good friend Ibn Head can't make it this evening due to a family emergency. I know that his thoughts are with us. And I'd like to say a couple of things about him. The man cares. He's a little shy, but he cares more than most people realize. During the plague, he worked tirelessly to get help to those that needed it and I understand that he worked a little on helping find a cure. That only would be impressive. But this next announcement is just astonishing. Ibn Head has patented a formula for low cost water purification. This formula could make Ibn a very rich man and has been tested in a few select markets. Instead, he asked me to announce that he's going to release the formula. Anyone can use the formula. We all need to pitch in and help the planet, he told me. If not, it's going to die," Bono says.
The reporters go wild with questions. Bono holds up his hand. "Let me finish please. Lots of economic and ecologic damage has been done to the world. We need volunteers. In the next couple of days, we're going to be asking for donations. We have a chance to make serious changes in the world. Let's not let this go. Ask two questions."
One reporter edges out the others. "Ibn Head has been romantically link to a number of women in the super hero community. Is he a meta?"
Bono nods. "At present, Ibn isn't linked to anyone romantically. He's had some personal difficulties of late. And no, he's not a meta."
Another reporter raises her hand. "Is this a bid for running for public office?"
Bono smiles as though to say, hey, I'm Bono, love me. "I don't know the answer to that. Hopefully, Mr. Head will be able to answer those question when he returns. And now if you will excuse me...."