thoughts of the current
i recently (as in two minutes ago) had a realization that maybe if i wrote more in this thing, i would feel better. not to insinuate that anything is wrong, but that outlet of writing is no longer there. of course being caught up in the daily grind, i look at this thing every couple of months. but now, after reading the intrigue that is craigs LJ, i have decided to start again. i dont know who reads this anymore, but why not give it a shot.
about a trillion things has happened since i last updated, so im not going to start anywhere specific.
yesterday, nicole and i went to wekiwa springs and hiked around, with einsteins bagels as a precursor. this reminded me of when ryan was here over the summer. einsteins was our weekly nonsexual orgasm, and wekiwa was uber fun. :) it was a beautiful day, topping out at like 83 degrees. the outdoor environment is something that florida seriously lacks. and when im not experiencing the outdoors, which is like everyday, i dont really get a grasp on how essential it is to my "lifeblood". you notice how adapted you can become when ignorant to things such as this. its refreshing and disappointing at the same time.
i hate the continual attempts to convince myself of what i should be doing. for example, i should be exercising everyday. i should quit smoking cigarettes entirely. i should enjoy the outdoors more. etc, etc. lately, more than ever, i have been determined to be a "doer" and not a "sayer". this is something that is a huge pet peeve of mine, not just in myself but in others as well. how can you be credible when you dont follow through? peripheral influences are just that, influences. this doesnt mean they dictate your free will. i need that separation to occur, and to grow some kahunas already. i mean that in the least male oriented way.
craig, i have decided that i absolutely need to see ani difranco in the near future. according to righteous babe, she should be touring in the summer. if this is the case, i incidentally have the week of july 4th off. which means, if possible, i am intent on seeing at least two of her shows during this time. i really hope this happens, because i am devoid of her passion. it seriously is contagious.
i have been contemplating the future recently, which is something that really scares me. i have ideas of what moves i want to make, but im not fully set on these ideas. for instance, i was considering law school or grad school for my MBA when i am done with full sail.
i have inquired for information from several schools, and i wish i could just decide already. the real world scares me, but so does doing something that i end up not liking. i dont want to invest myself in something that i turn out disliking. how do i determine this? do i just go with my instinct and jump in head first? i just wish i had a better grasp of what i want to do specifically, not just an area or a bunch of endeavors i want to pursue. once again, being a doer and not a sayer. of course, i havent fully committed myself verbally to anything...but the unknowing future is something that kinda wears at my insides. i just have to have confidence that no matter what, i am going to dedicate myself and work as hard as possible to become successful. i guess having the weight of unbearable debt from student loans kind of eats your confidence away. it also makes you more reluctant than normal. thats how i interpret it anyhow.
i guess i just have to have the summation that no matter what, im not alone in my pursuits. with the support and encouragement from friends and family, coupled with the will to succeed, we can really apply a favorite quote, "where theres a will, theres a way". some things are harder than others, and there are more barriers for certain things, but with determination rises opportunity. life aint a cakewalk. if it were, i would be rolling around in some funfetti licking up the icing.
about a trillion things has happened since i last updated, so im not going to start anywhere specific.
yesterday, nicole and i went to wekiwa springs and hiked around, with einsteins bagels as a precursor. this reminded me of when ryan was here over the summer. einsteins was our weekly nonsexual orgasm, and wekiwa was uber fun. :) it was a beautiful day, topping out at like 83 degrees. the outdoor environment is something that florida seriously lacks. and when im not experiencing the outdoors, which is like everyday, i dont really get a grasp on how essential it is to my "lifeblood". you notice how adapted you can become when ignorant to things such as this. its refreshing and disappointing at the same time.
i hate the continual attempts to convince myself of what i should be doing. for example, i should be exercising everyday. i should quit smoking cigarettes entirely. i should enjoy the outdoors more. etc, etc. lately, more than ever, i have been determined to be a "doer" and not a "sayer". this is something that is a huge pet peeve of mine, not just in myself but in others as well. how can you be credible when you dont follow through? peripheral influences are just that, influences. this doesnt mean they dictate your free will. i need that separation to occur, and to grow some kahunas already. i mean that in the least male oriented way.
craig, i have decided that i absolutely need to see ani difranco in the near future. according to righteous babe, she should be touring in the summer. if this is the case, i incidentally have the week of july 4th off. which means, if possible, i am intent on seeing at least two of her shows during this time. i really hope this happens, because i am devoid of her passion. it seriously is contagious.
i have been contemplating the future recently, which is something that really scares me. i have ideas of what moves i want to make, but im not fully set on these ideas. for instance, i was considering law school or grad school for my MBA when i am done with full sail.
i have inquired for information from several schools, and i wish i could just decide already. the real world scares me, but so does doing something that i end up not liking. i dont want to invest myself in something that i turn out disliking. how do i determine this? do i just go with my instinct and jump in head first? i just wish i had a better grasp of what i want to do specifically, not just an area or a bunch of endeavors i want to pursue. once again, being a doer and not a sayer. of course, i havent fully committed myself verbally to anything...but the unknowing future is something that kinda wears at my insides. i just have to have confidence that no matter what, i am going to dedicate myself and work as hard as possible to become successful. i guess having the weight of unbearable debt from student loans kind of eats your confidence away. it also makes you more reluctant than normal. thats how i interpret it anyhow.
i guess i just have to have the summation that no matter what, im not alone in my pursuits. with the support and encouragement from friends and family, coupled with the will to succeed, we can really apply a favorite quote, "where theres a will, theres a way". some things are harder than others, and there are more barriers for certain things, but with determination rises opportunity. life aint a cakewalk. if it were, i would be rolling around in some funfetti licking up the icing.