Let us embark on a marvelous adventure.
A bit of backstory. At the intersection of three major highways on the border between CT and MA, there is something called Traveler Food & Books. Traveler Food & Books is a restaurant and second-hand bookstore that gives you up to three free books with every meal. Their book selection is varied and has high turnover. As you would expect from this kind of setup, quality varies from gems to the most putrid of the putrid.
And then you have this.
What the shit is this, you might ask? This is something so awesome they had to put the title on the cover twice. Despite the style and wear, it's only from 2006. What is it? Terrible chick-lit mystery. Let me give you a breakdown of what I have learned so far.
- The chapters are named after other, better works of literature.
- The main character's name is "Blue van Meer," which is what Mary Sue changed her name to in order to be more "interesting."
- "Blue" is described on the inside cover as "A brainy, deadpan, and preternaturally erudite girl" who is "also a film buff and can recite pi to sixty-five decimal places." "When she is sixteen, due to certain nuclear events, her previously dull life is forever transformed."
- The first page contains five full paragraphs with only six periods between them.
- The back cover has an equation apparently concocted by the publisher that...I can't even reproduce it. It's just too ridiculous. The bizarre texture on the back cover renders it impossible to photograph, either.
But the price was right, so I acquired it. And now, dear friends, followers, and assorted e-stalkers, we are going to enjoy this book together, as I will be sharing my experiences reading through it with all of you. I expect prose so purple as to push into ultraviolet, run-on sentences that challenge the most punctuation-averse wanker, and pseudoscience that could be used as a weapon against the faculty and students of MIT.
The back jacket simply reads, "Marisha Pessl grew up in Asheville, North Carolina, and now lives in New York City. This is her first novel."
SO IT BEGINS.
And then you have this.
What the shit is this, you might ask? This is something so awesome they had to put the title on the cover twice. Despite the style and wear, it's only from 2006. What is it? Terrible chick-lit mystery. Let me give you a breakdown of what I have learned so far.
- The chapters are named after other, better works of literature.
- The main character's name is "Blue van Meer," which is what Mary Sue changed her name to in order to be more "interesting."
- "Blue" is described on the inside cover as "A brainy, deadpan, and preternaturally erudite girl" who is "also a film buff and can recite pi to sixty-five decimal places." "When she is sixteen, due to certain nuclear events, her previously dull life is forever transformed."
- The first page contains five full paragraphs with only six periods between them.
- The back cover has an equation apparently concocted by the publisher that...I can't even reproduce it. It's just too ridiculous. The bizarre texture on the back cover renders it impossible to photograph, either.
But the price was right, so I acquired it. And now, dear friends, followers, and assorted e-stalkers, we are going to enjoy this book together, as I will be sharing my experiences reading through it with all of you. I expect prose so purple as to push into ultraviolet, run-on sentences that challenge the most punctuation-averse wanker, and pseudoscience that could be used as a weapon against the faculty and students of MIT.
The back jacket simply reads, "Marisha Pessl grew up in Asheville, North Carolina, and now lives in New York City. This is her first novel."
SO IT BEGINS.