My type
I had a moment of privilege/realization while watching the Sarah Bareilles 'Brave' video. Have you seen it? The character rocking out in the library - unf. I had an overwhelming need to know if this character was a lady or a dude. And I couldn't tell how they were presenting and I couldn't figure out why the hell I needed to know.
This really troubled me and I thought about it for a while. And it came down to this: I wanted to know if it was ok for me to be attracted to them. That little tidbit rockets me back at least a decade, more like two - when I was trying to DECLARE my identity the way you do when you're a baby queer. And that declaration meant I had to be attracted to the RIGHT BODIES or else I wouldn't be recognized as a REAL QUEER.
Dude, I'm married and in my thirties now and it is so good to be out of that muck. It is glorious to realize - it's not a rule. I can be attracted to people! However they identify, however they present. And since I figured out poly - I could fucking ask them out for coffee. Like, is this reality?
SPEAKING OF COFFEE, watch this video:
Seriously, 14-year-old-me, hang in there, lady, this is waiting for you.
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This really troubled me and I thought about it for a while. And it came down to this: I wanted to know if it was ok for me to be attracted to them. That little tidbit rockets me back at least a decade, more like two - when I was trying to DECLARE my identity the way you do when you're a baby queer. And that declaration meant I had to be attracted to the RIGHT BODIES or else I wouldn't be recognized as a REAL QUEER.
Dude, I'm married and in my thirties now and it is so good to be out of that muck. It is glorious to realize - it's not a rule. I can be attracted to people! However they identify, however they present. And since I figured out poly - I could fucking ask them out for coffee. Like, is this reality?
SPEAKING OF COFFEE, watch this video:
Click to viewSeriously, 14-year-old-me, hang in there, lady, this is waiting for you.
You can also read this entry on Dreamwidth (
comments)