There's something I'm forgetting, and it's probably my alien secret destiny
When I loaded this page, I was prompted with a "restore saved draft" pop-up, and I clicked yes even though I had no idea what would be waiting. It was a mere half a paragraph about the rain and heat earlier this week that apparently left me so lethargic I could not even manage to finish a post about it. The sun was out today, bringing me back to life, which would have happened yesterday except I took a new allergy medicine whose unexpected side effect is to knock me on my ass and I slept through half the day.
I am still, apparently, also worn out from what turned into a predominantly fail weekend in Chicago. None of it was really Chicago's fault, especially considering at least half of the bad stuff happened in a suburb 40 miles from downtown, but I do think I'll burn some sage around my suitcases before I go back, which I hope I get to do someday.
Other than suffering from coffee withdrawal due to the intense way I used caffeine as a coping mechanism this weekend, I have been watching the first season of Smallville. I am not sure I can actually get into my the show without first saying that Clark and Lex turn me into a giant churning twister of angst. I love Lex, and the only reason I don't hate Clark is because he's good-hearted, 15, and I can blame a lot of his issues on his dad.
The age part covers, at least for another season, my major issue with Clark, which is that he doesn't tell Lex some part of the truth. I don't understand why Clark can't just say he has super-strength from the meteor rocks - it's not as though he's the only one in Smallville to be meteor-charged. But it doesn't seem to be that Clark is making the decision not to tell Lex because he doesn't trust him or he's afraid of what Lionel Luther will find out. Clark is not actually making a decision at all - he's just doing what his parents tell him to do, and following the rules he's internalized about his secret. What destroys me is that I know, while what's happening now seems harmless evasiveness that will test the bonds of friendship, it will ultimately turn into a major contributing factor in Lex's transformation into evil supervillain status. Lex needs someone to trust him, to challenge him to be the good person he can be, and Clark fails, repeatedly and spectacularly, to do enough to help make Lex a different person. Over time, it starts to show, and though I'm still safely in the early-Smallville Lex/Clark BFF time, I know how this story ends, and it's going to hurt.
Also, I'm realizing that I've never gotten over the fact that the writers didn't make Chloe into Lois. I was sure that's what was going to happen and I wonder, in some of these episodes, whether the writers thought that, too.
In other angsty realms, I changed my gmail layout to the adorable ninja, only to realize that the ninja appears at several points having tea with, silly sumo-wrestling with, and presenting flowers to a girl in a way that is obviously not meant to be taken as a secret ninja attack. It's heteronormativity all over my otherwise super cute gmail layout and it hurt. Because, of course a ninja can give flowers to a girl, but what happens is that now I'm forced to pretend that the ninja is also secretly a kick-ass girl, who defies gender roles and stereotypes and fights crime and it's really ridiculous that I have to tell myself a story just to distract myself from the reminder that I'm different. And while no one's saying that's bad, the ninja + girl love interest equation is full of implications about what is normal. And who knows, maybe it is a girl under that mask, but that's not what we're meant to assume, and I shouldn't have to write queerness into my email client. God knows I spend enough time writing it into everything else.
I am still, apparently, also worn out from what turned into a predominantly fail weekend in Chicago. None of it was really Chicago's fault, especially considering at least half of the bad stuff happened in a suburb 40 miles from downtown, but I do think I'll burn some sage around my suitcases before I go back, which I hope I get to do someday.
Other than suffering from coffee withdrawal due to the intense way I used caffeine as a coping mechanism this weekend, I have been watching the first season of Smallville. I am not sure I can actually get into my the show without first saying that Clark and Lex turn me into a giant churning twister of angst. I love Lex, and the only reason I don't hate Clark is because he's good-hearted, 15, and I can blame a lot of his issues on his dad.
The age part covers, at least for another season, my major issue with Clark, which is that he doesn't tell Lex some part of the truth. I don't understand why Clark can't just say he has super-strength from the meteor rocks - it's not as though he's the only one in Smallville to be meteor-charged. But it doesn't seem to be that Clark is making the decision not to tell Lex because he doesn't trust him or he's afraid of what Lionel Luther will find out. Clark is not actually making a decision at all - he's just doing what his parents tell him to do, and following the rules he's internalized about his secret. What destroys me is that I know, while what's happening now seems harmless evasiveness that will test the bonds of friendship, it will ultimately turn into a major contributing factor in Lex's transformation into evil supervillain status. Lex needs someone to trust him, to challenge him to be the good person he can be, and Clark fails, repeatedly and spectacularly, to do enough to help make Lex a different person. Over time, it starts to show, and though I'm still safely in the early-Smallville Lex/Clark BFF time, I know how this story ends, and it's going to hurt.
Also, I'm realizing that I've never gotten over the fact that the writers didn't make Chloe into Lois. I was sure that's what was going to happen and I wonder, in some of these episodes, whether the writers thought that, too.
In other angsty realms, I changed my gmail layout to the adorable ninja, only to realize that the ninja appears at several points having tea with, silly sumo-wrestling with, and presenting flowers to a girl in a way that is obviously not meant to be taken as a secret ninja attack. It's heteronormativity all over my otherwise super cute gmail layout and it hurt. Because, of course a ninja can give flowers to a girl, but what happens is that now I'm forced to pretend that the ninja is also secretly a kick-ass girl, who defies gender roles and stereotypes and fights crime and it's really ridiculous that I have to tell myself a story just to distract myself from the reminder that I'm different. And while no one's saying that's bad, the ninja + girl love interest equation is full of implications about what is normal. And who knows, maybe it is a girl under that mask, but that's not what we're meant to assume, and I shouldn't have to write queerness into my email client. God knows I spend enough time writing it into everything else.