Ways to prevent chain letters, #489: Write something like this and use "Ye Olde Responde Alle"
1. What time is it: Time to cause chaos and bedlam! TO THE BATTLEFIELD, MY MEN!
2. Nicknames: Thor, Mars, Destructo, Death, and Fluffy.
3. Piercings: 87,403 on the field of battle yesterday. PRAISE THE SPEAR GODS!
4. Eye color: Gray...like iron and purpose.
5. Place of birth: In the red-blooded valleys of the Land of Glaaghhhgdpleah...raised by the horsemen of Zaånthaian, who taught me the art of war. Got my B.S. and M.B.A. from Harvard.
6. Favorite foods: The blood of men, wild boars, Taste-T-Cakes.
7. Ever been to Africa? Aahh...the fields, the fields...the lions...the trees...the plantains...the monkeys who do battle with their poo...yes...I know it quite well!
8. Ever been toilet papering? I do not know of this toilet papering of which you speak? Is it like battle?
9. Love someone so much it made you cry? I do not cry-I get REVENGE! ...and I hug my puppy.
10. Been in a car accident? I CAUSE THEM! I MAKE EXPLOSIONS FROM THEM, LIKE FIRE! YOU PUNY MORTALS CANNOT CONTAIN MY FURY OR MY SEXY COLOGNE COLLECTION!
11. Croutons or bacon bits? BLOODWORMS! BLOODWORMS!
12. Favorite day of the week: Stop....battle-time.
13. Favorite restaurants: I enjoy the mead-halls, in places of valor, where warriors can tell tales of yore. I believe you puny mortals have them-they’re called “Hoolihans.”
14. Favorite flower: The Blue-speckled Flower of Dreams, from the Valleys of Suøucktoth. I did eat of them one day, and I do not remember what I did. My men did tell me that I did a strange dance...something about a maiden named Maria. Of course, after they told me this tale, I killed them all. Oh...no....BEWARE, MORTALS! DO NOT TELL OF THIS TALE TO OTHERS! I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE ON YOU!
15. Favorite sport to watch: I enjoy watching matches of battle and feats of incredible stupidity. And, when I get a chance, I watch small dogs dance. It is so very cute seeing dogs in little tu-tus do their dances and they...err...KILL! THEY KILL OTHER DOGS! AND THEY DANCE AND KILL! VICTORY!!!
16. Favorite drink: Mead, the blood of men, Crystal PepsiTM.
17. Favorite ice cream: Is this similar to lava? If it is, I enjoy my lava from the volcanoes of Aarthegaard.
18. Disney or Universal? THE UNIVERSE IS MINE!
19. Favorite fast food restaurant: There is no food worth having that one can get quick. Have you ever tried to eat the honey of the Wild Anger Bees of the Zaaaaaarargh Valley? I did, and the swelling did not go down for a month!
20. Car Color: EXPLOSION COLOURED!!!!
21. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? I NEVER FAIL-I TRIUMPH! (And so can you-join my army today!)
22. Before this one, from who did you get your last e-mail? I own chain-mail armour and plate-mail.
23. What store would you most like to Max out your credit card? Sir Pfiphe’s Armour and Ax Mega-Store. And Bed Bath & Beyond. Perhaps they will have the Magickal Gînzü Knives there...
24. What do you do most often when you are bored? I invade villages, plunder their coffers, have my men take their women away, and then...we DANCE! I mean...no...WE ARE VICTORIOUS!
25. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? ALL WILL RESPOND!
27. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? The person who took away Question Number 26 will PAY!!!!!
28. Favorite TV shows: That little box annoys me. Although, I once gazed upon your magickal Box of Amusement, and saw a merchant sell these magickal knives that could cut through any material. Twas amazing. I wished to have them for my own...but did not know how to contact the magical vendor of those knives. I will find that man, and I will buy those knives with 1,995 pieces of gold, and I shall have the pearing knife at no additional cost.
29. Last person you went out to dinner with: The King of Véüålodsqaaåsz. We dined upon antelope and Våarberbeaste. This was, of course, before I ceremonially beheaded him and fed his body to vipers. But, twas only business-he was a very nice man.
30. Ford or Chevy? VICTORY!
31. What are you listening to right now? The songs of valor and bravery from days of yore. This man, Kenny G, is quite amazing in his rendering of them. I will not kill him yet; his hair intrigues me.
32. Favorite Color: VICTORY!
33. How many tattoos do you have? I have tattoo of a dragon on an arm. Well...I should be more specific-I have the arm of another man above my mantle piece. It is quite an exquisite tattoo.
34. Time you finished this e-mail: Once again, the dragons come to attack my men. But-no worry-I will defeat them with my secret weapon: BRING OUT ESTELLE GETTY!
Return directions: Now, here’s what you’re supposed to do...and please do not spoil the fun.
Copy (NOT forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you, The theory is that you will learn a lot of little-known facts about those who know you. Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you don’t feel like doing this, that’s just fine, no bad luck or negative karma with this one!
--
john j. “thor” o’sullivan
jjostm@gmail.com
i’m john j. o’sullivan and i approved this message. AND NOW...ATTACK, YE MEN OF WAR! ATTACK!!! RELEASE THE FLYING SHARKS!
2. Nicknames: Thor, Mars, Destructo, Death, and Fluffy.
3. Piercings: 87,403 on the field of battle yesterday. PRAISE THE SPEAR GODS!
4. Eye color: Gray...like iron and purpose.
5. Place of birth: In the red-blooded valleys of the Land of Glaaghhhgdpleah...raised by the horsemen of Zaånthaian, who taught me the art of war. Got my B.S. and M.B.A. from Harvard.
6. Favorite foods: The blood of men, wild boars, Taste-T-Cakes.
7. Ever been to Africa? Aahh...the fields, the fields...the lions...the trees...the plantains...the monkeys who do battle with their poo...yes...I know it quite well!
8. Ever been toilet papering? I do not know of this toilet papering of which you speak? Is it like battle?
9. Love someone so much it made you cry? I do not cry-I get REVENGE! ...and I hug my puppy.
10. Been in a car accident? I CAUSE THEM! I MAKE EXPLOSIONS FROM THEM, LIKE FIRE! YOU PUNY MORTALS CANNOT CONTAIN MY FURY OR MY SEXY COLOGNE COLLECTION!
11. Croutons or bacon bits? BLOODWORMS! BLOODWORMS!
12. Favorite day of the week: Stop....battle-time.
13. Favorite restaurants: I enjoy the mead-halls, in places of valor, where warriors can tell tales of yore. I believe you puny mortals have them-they’re called “Hoolihans.”
14. Favorite flower: The Blue-speckled Flower of Dreams, from the Valleys of Suøucktoth. I did eat of them one day, and I do not remember what I did. My men did tell me that I did a strange dance...something about a maiden named Maria. Of course, after they told me this tale, I killed them all. Oh...no....BEWARE, MORTALS! DO NOT TELL OF THIS TALE TO OTHERS! I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE ON YOU!
15. Favorite sport to watch: I enjoy watching matches of battle and feats of incredible stupidity. And, when I get a chance, I watch small dogs dance. It is so very cute seeing dogs in little tu-tus do their dances and they...err...KILL! THEY KILL OTHER DOGS! AND THEY DANCE AND KILL! VICTORY!!!
16. Favorite drink: Mead, the blood of men, Crystal PepsiTM.
17. Favorite ice cream: Is this similar to lava? If it is, I enjoy my lava from the volcanoes of Aarthegaard.
18. Disney or Universal? THE UNIVERSE IS MINE!
19. Favorite fast food restaurant: There is no food worth having that one can get quick. Have you ever tried to eat the honey of the Wild Anger Bees of the Zaaaaaarargh Valley? I did, and the swelling did not go down for a month!
20. Car Color: EXPLOSION COLOURED!!!!
21. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? I NEVER FAIL-I TRIUMPH! (And so can you-join my army today!)
22. Before this one, from who did you get your last e-mail? I own chain-mail armour and plate-mail.
23. What store would you most like to Max out your credit card? Sir Pfiphe’s Armour and Ax Mega-Store. And Bed Bath & Beyond. Perhaps they will have the Magickal Gînzü Knives there...
24. What do you do most often when you are bored? I invade villages, plunder their coffers, have my men take their women away, and then...we DANCE! I mean...no...WE ARE VICTORIOUS!
25. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest? ALL WILL RESPOND!
27. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? The person who took away Question Number 26 will PAY!!!!!
28. Favorite TV shows: That little box annoys me. Although, I once gazed upon your magickal Box of Amusement, and saw a merchant sell these magickal knives that could cut through any material. Twas amazing. I wished to have them for my own...but did not know how to contact the magical vendor of those knives. I will find that man, and I will buy those knives with 1,995 pieces of gold, and I shall have the pearing knife at no additional cost.
29. Last person you went out to dinner with: The King of Véüålodsqaaåsz. We dined upon antelope and Våarberbeaste. This was, of course, before I ceremonially beheaded him and fed his body to vipers. But, twas only business-he was a very nice man.
30. Ford or Chevy? VICTORY!
31. What are you listening to right now? The songs of valor and bravery from days of yore. This man, Kenny G, is quite amazing in his rendering of them. I will not kill him yet; his hair intrigues me.
32. Favorite Color: VICTORY!
33. How many tattoos do you have? I have tattoo of a dragon on an arm. Well...I should be more specific-I have the arm of another man above my mantle piece. It is quite an exquisite tattoo.
34. Time you finished this e-mail: Once again, the dragons come to attack my men. But-no worry-I will defeat them with my secret weapon: BRING OUT ESTELLE GETTY!
Return directions: Now, here’s what you’re supposed to do...and please do not spoil the fun.
Copy (NOT forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you will send. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the person who sent it to you, The theory is that you will learn a lot of little-known facts about those who know you. Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you don’t feel like doing this, that’s just fine, no bad luck or negative karma with this one!
--
john j. “thor” o’sullivan
jjostm@gmail.com
i’m john j. o’sullivan and i approved this message. AND NOW...ATTACK, YE MEN OF WAR! ATTACK!!! RELEASE THE FLYING SHARKS!