Dearest Those
I guess people can get the jist that me and Leo are on the rocks for the most part. I think I have to make it hard for him because if I truly am the only thing on his mind, then he will push and strive for me and in the end the prize will be sweet. This I promise. I recently met a friend I made named Joe, and though I have no other intentions with him, Leo blows a cork. I love my Leo. I am spending a lot of time with friends for two reasons: 1) Since I spent so much (wasted) love time on JUST Leo, I neglected them and the activities I used to enjoy with them. Not that I dont enjoy the time spent with my love, but the time dwelt on them. 2) The less time with Leo the lower the factor risk of argueing. I hate fighting with him. I wish I could delete his past with a push of a button and make it all better. I can't. And I have no curiousity to be with another gentleman, I am satisfied with what I have.
On a side note: I have a model shoot this week. It's for a porn website:
I am against 3 things in life for sure: 1) Pornography-- it's disgusting, degrading to the human body, and tasteless!
2) Masturbation- though it may be healthy, I am against making love with one's self-- where is the respect for one's body if you get off on yourself and pornographic images in one's head. 3) Internet dating,hook-ups, cyber-sex, phone sex, phone dating, or hook-ups of any sort or nature.
But I have to make the money-- $150 an hour (for 4 hours) and I want to move out of my house/ I need to move out of my house soon or I will hella lose it (no joke).
I envy the Ji and the Jon. They have everything I wanted, and I wish that I could share in their success and happiness. They are kind of an inspiration to see what I want. I don't want everything they have, just the relationship factor. I also want to have someone that desires and wants and craves the way that Jon does to Ji.
I also have to make room to breathe and get my bills together. I'm takin a leap soon, I hope I don't fall flat on my fat ass!
On a side note: I have a model shoot this week. It's for a porn website:
I am against 3 things in life for sure: 1) Pornography-- it's disgusting, degrading to the human body, and tasteless!
2) Masturbation- though it may be healthy, I am against making love with one's self-- where is the respect for one's body if you get off on yourself and pornographic images in one's head. 3) Internet dating,hook-ups, cyber-sex, phone sex, phone dating, or hook-ups of any sort or nature.
But I have to make the money-- $150 an hour (for 4 hours) and I want to move out of my house/ I need to move out of my house soon or I will hella lose it (no joke).
I envy the Ji and the Jon. They have everything I wanted, and I wish that I could share in their success and happiness. They are kind of an inspiration to see what I want. I don't want everything they have, just the relationship factor. I also want to have someone that desires and wants and craves the way that Jon does to Ji.
I also have to make room to breathe and get my bills together. I'm takin a leap soon, I hope I don't fall flat on my fat ass!