The Compulsive Liar (15/?)
Title: The Compulsive Liar
Author: jjjjordo
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson
Summary: The filling of this prompt. Blaine is a compulsive liar and lied to Kurt about being gay.
Disclaimer: I own nothing! All characters belong to the writers.
Spoilers: Up to 2x22, Nationals
Warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST. Slight language, a couple of f-bombs. Ya know, that kind of thing.
Author's notes: I proofread this a hundred millipn times, but it still doesn't seem right, for some reason. I think I need to write something else for a change to get my mind out of compulsive liar!verse. Oh, and if anyone is wondering, I have no idea where this is going to go from now on, so hangtight! ;)
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14
“I’ll be back before you know it,” Kurt said reassuringly, pulling Blaine in for a hug, “Blaine, it’s only a week.”
“Yeah, but it’s one week I won’t be able to see you during,” Blaine said, sighing, “Or text you, for that matter.”
He pouted and narrowed his eyes at Kurt, who merely laughed. Kurt had told Blaine that he would not be using his phone other than to contact his parents, the rest of the glee club, Mr. Schuester, or any kind of service in New York.
“I want to be able to focus on New York with no distractions,” he’d said softly, running a finger over Blaine’s hand as they sat in Blaine’s car in the school parking lot, before Kurt joined his teammates to head off to the airport, “And I don’t think anyone would appreciate me spending hours on the phone when we’re supposed to be rehearsing.”
“I would.” Blaine said, shrugging. Kurt giggled and elbowed him as they got out of the car, Blaine helping Kurt grab some of his many duffels.
So, Blaine waved goodbye to Kurt as the bus taking the New Directions kids to the airport faded into the distance, jealous of all of them. They were going to New York to have the time of their lives, sure. Blaine had been to New York plenty of times, so it wasn’t that he was jealous of. It was the memories they’d make that he was jealous of. He’d had a fantasy of a sort of him and Kurt walking down the streets of New York, hand-in-hand, Kurt’s eyes aglow with the wonder of a new experience. He’d imagined taking Kurt to Central Park for the first time, taking a horse-drawn buggy and then going to buy a crappy hot dog. They’d go back to the hotel when the sun was going down, and watch the bustling night life of the city as Kurt enjoyed his first New York style pizza, which had to be from the very best pizzeria in town. But Blaine wasn’t going to be able to do that. He was going to be late. Sure, he could take Kurt someday in the future, but it just wouldn’t be the same.
With a sinking heart, he climbed back into his car and drove back home, ‘Somewhere Only We Know’ on his radio, blasting loudly enough to blow out his eardrums.
***
That week was the longest of Blaine’s life. He spent all of his time either talking about Kurt or about how Kurt was in New York. He noticed that Wes and David stopped hanging around him as often, and when they did, they weren’t really paying attention. Blaine just couldn’t help it; he noticed that nobody cared, and he knew he should have stopped talking about Kurt, but he just couldn’t. It was like once he started, he couldn’t stop. It was word vomit, and Blaine couldn’t stop it once it was already going, couldn’t control it, couldn’t prevent it.
So, it was beyond a relief to Blaine, David, and Wes when Kurt called him a week later, giddy, yet tired from the rush of New York. They set up a coffee date for the following morning, which was a Monday, before school, so that Kurt could tell him all about it.
***
“…Oh my God, you should have seen it. We all looked at the top ten list for the showcase and we all just went numb.”
They were sitting in the Lima Bean, at their usual table. Blaine considered buying a plaque for the table with their names on it someday, they were there so often. Kurt was telling Blaine all about Nationals. He was dancing on air, happy as can be, and Blaine couldn’t help but be happy for him. All of the jealousy of the glee club members had melted away; he was just happy that Kurt had a good time.
It felt different, being with Kurt this time. For the first time, he felt..warm. He didn’t feel the need to lean across the table and kiss Kurt until his lips fell off, like usual. He had been perfectly satisfied with a hug before they’d gotten their coffee. He felt like this was the start of their relationship, though they’d been together for two months. Now was when it was really kicking in. He felt like he could listen to Kurt for hours and not get bored. There was a word for this, a phrase that was supposed to describe what he was feeling, but he just couldn’t think of it.
Kurt looked different to Blaine. He was shining, glowing, radiating with happiness, and it was genuine. He was genuinely happy, and Blaine loved how it looked on him. It made him feel happy, too. The way Kurt’s eyes sparkled like jewels, the way his lips curved around every rushed word, phrase, sentence, in a hurry to tell Blaine every single thing, with so much expression and enthusiasm, the way his hair swirled perfectly, as if he didn’t even try…Blaine was in love with all of it, every single part of Kurt, and he couldn’t wait to find more things like that that he loved.
“And then Jesse kept going on and on about how Rachel and Finn’s kiss would cost us Nationals…” Kurt went on, rolling his eyes.
“While I understand passion, I do think that was unprofessional,” Blaine interrupted quickly, not wanting to take away from Kurt’s storytelling, “But sorry, go on.”
“Then we got back to the hotel,” Kurt continued, unshaken by Blaine’s interjection, “Santana loses it. I mean, and the plane ride home was completely silent. Like, no one said a word. We all just sat there with our faces buried in our complimentary copies of Sky Mall.”
“Wait, I don’t get it,” Blaine said, wrinkling his eyebrows, “You don’t seem that sad at all.”
“Well, I mean…it was still amazing,” Kurt said, shrugging and grinning, “I flew in a plane for the first time in my life, I had breakfast at Tiffany’s, I sang on a Broadway stage…”
This was why Blaine liked Kurt. He was always so excited about the smallest things, but he acted like they were the experiences of a lifetime. Sure, the Broadway stage was huge, but everything else was something Blaine totally imagined Kurt doing while being giddy as a little kid. He was such a big presence, but Blaine hadn’t realized how simple he really was until then. He loved that about Kurt, just like he loved everything else about Kurt. It was then that he finally found the phrase he was looking for, the words he had been thinking since Kurt had started talking.
“I love you.”
He’d said it before, but it was never like this. Usually, it was just a whispered phrase to calm down Kurt, to get them to make out. However, this time was different. This time, he meant it. This time, he looked at Kurt and he knew that there was no other way to describe what he was feeling.
Kurt had taken a sip of his coffee, and looked like he was about to choke on it. He slowly swallowed, looking at Blaine with disbelief, and sighed, his chest heaving.
“I love you too.”
The words tumbled out of his mouth, but Blaine couldn’t have expected anything more. He looked at Kurt lovingly, because that’s what he truly felt. He smiled at his boyfriend, and none of the other feelings he’d felt for Kurt would equal what he felt now, even if they were all put together.
Then, Kurt saw Mercedes and Sam, and they struck up a bit of a conversation, Blaine jumping in as well as Kurt. A few minutes later, Blaine had to take Kurt to school. He’d been done the Friday before, but Kurt still had finals. He didn’t have a final in the first half of the morning, though, so he didn’t have to come to school until nine, and Blaine would just wait until eleven to pick him up, then they’d go to Kurt’s to hang out for the rest of the day. The schedule was casual, and Blaine was nothing but happy to spend more time with Kurt.
***
“Hey, Wes,” Blaine said, picking up the phone that evening as he sat on Kurt’s couch, snuggled up watching The Phantom of the Opera, Kurt commenting on how handsome Gerard Butler looked, “What’s up?”
“Now much, how about you, man?” Wes asked, sounding chipper.
“Just hanging out with Kurt,” Blaine said, grinning at Kurt, who smiled back and settled into his shoulder.
“Oh,” Wes said, his tone changing, “Did you tell him?”
Blaine looked over at Kurt, peacefully watching and humming along to ‘Masquerade.’ He was so happy; how could Blaine tell him the truth? It would break him. It’s not like Wes would ask him about it later or anything. So, he did what he felt was the right thing to do, the only natural thing. He lied.
“Yeah,” Blaine said, grinning, “He took it really well.”
“Oh, that’s great!” Wes said, sounding pleased.
“So,” he said, “The reason I called. I wanted to know if you wanted to do a beginning-of-the-summer thing at my house on Saturday night, with all of the Warblers and all. Maybe Kurt can ask New Directions to come over?”
“Dude, that’d be awesome!” Blaine said, grinning.
“Plus, Saturday’s totally my half-birthday.” He added, getting a chuckle out of Kurt.
“Great,” Wes said, laughing, “So it’ll be, like, a Summer slash Blaine’s Half Birthday party! Eight P.M., my house, Saturday. See you then, Blaine!”
“See you then!” Blaine said, hanging up.
“What was that all about?” Kurt asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Wes is having a big party at his place on Saturday, and wanted to know if the New Directions wanted to come, too.” Blaine said.
“Sounds awesome,” Kurt said, grinning and sitting up quickly, whipping out his iPhone, “I’ll text everyone.”
He typed out a message quickly, then put his phone down. Twenty minutes later, every member of Kurt’s glee club had said they were going. Kurt had no doubt told them about the pre- and post-Regionals parties, as well as the Christmas and New Years’ parties Wes had thrown. Wes threw a lot of parties, and they all seemed to be better than the last. His house was gigantic (three floors, the first being completely open party space, aside from some couches, tables, and chairs, with stairs leading down to the basement, which was the kitchen), and he had a state-of-the-art sound system, a stage, and quite a few guest bedrooms, which weren’t put to much use when the Warblers were over, considering the fact that most of them didn’t have girlfriends or boyfriends. However, Blaine knew that the McKinley kids would definitely be using them; they seemed to be that kind of group.
“Do you want to go with me, Blaine?” Kurt asked, settling his head back into Blaine’s neck, smiling, “I don’t think we’ve gone to a party together as…you know…a couple.”
“Rachel’s party,” Blaine pointed out.
“Don’t even bring that up.” Kurt grumbled. Blaine laughed.
***
“Finn, keep Rachel away from the liquor,” Kurt whispered as Finn walked by him and Blaine, “We don’t want a repeat of last time.”
The party was in full swing. All of the Warblers had showed up, looking completely different to Blaine without their uniforms. They usually wore them to Wes’s parties, so Blaine didn’t often see them without them. The New Directions kids were mingling well with them, and they were all acting like they’d known each other forever. David, the DJ as usual, was taking their requests, and the assortment of music was quite hilarious. Rachel kept going up and insisting they play selections from ‘Rent’ and ‘Funny Girl,’ until David banned her from requesting any more songs.
“I honestly don’t think she’s going to want the liquor after she sees the variety of iced tea Wes has,” Blaine said, laughing, “Trust me, his mother is one of those singer waitresses at those jazz clubs on Saturday nights. She drinks everything.”
“Don’t be hating, she brings down the house.” Wes said, coming up behind Kurt and Blaine, putting his arms around their shoulders. The three laughed.
“So, how’s it going?” he asked, the three getting in a more casual triangle to talk.
“Great,” Blaine said, “Just fine.”
“How was New York, Kurt? I’m sorry you guys lost Nationals.” Wes asked, turning to Kurt and looking interested.
“No, that’s fine. It was fabulous,” Kurt sighed, a grin spreading across his face, “I had an amazing time, and I really want to go back someday. Blaine and I are planning to go to college there.”
Wes turned to Blaine, who nodded and smiled proudly.
“That sounds nice,” he said, grinning, “Well, I’m going to go check in on everyone, then I have a toast to make.”
Blaine and Kurt waved as he walked away, and then turned back towards each other. Before they could start talking, the song ended and David started talking into a microphone.
“Alright everyone, grab a guy or gal, and get onto the dance floor, because it’s gonna be a slow one.” He said, grinning.
Blaine watched as people grabbed their friends or dates or whoever and made their way to the dance floor. Mercedes and Sam, Rachel and Finn, Tina and Mike, Puck and Lauren, all of them made their way to the dance floor. Brittany walked out with Nick, and Santana with Wes, followed by Quinn and Thad, all of them giggling because it was all good fun.
“May I have this dance?” Blaine asked, holding out his hand to Kurt, who quickly nodded and took it as the song, ‘Fall For You’ by Secondhand Serenade, started.
At first, it was all too familiar. Blaine put a hand on Kurt’s waist, Kurt’s on Blaine’s shoulder. They spun around, Kurt looking like he could barely breathe. But this time, it wasn’t upbeat like it had been at prom. It was slow, it was close, it was sweet, it was romantic. Blaine pulled Kurt closer, his hand pressing the small of his back. They looked into each others’ eyes, and Kurt blushed madly.
Blaine sensed people watching them, but he didn’t dare look away from Kurt, like at prom. He didn’t care who was looking, though he sensed a feeling of pride in the room instead of hostility. Everyone there was genuinely happy for Kurt and Blaine, and Blaine could definitely feel it.
“Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again,” Blaine sang, leaning in so that his lips nearly touched Kurt’s ear, nearly brushed it. He felt Kurt shiver and grinned, kissing Kurt’s temple.
The song was over too quickly, after a couple of turns and twirls. Blaine grinned, though he couldn’t help but feel a bit sad, and he pulled Kurt in for a long hug.
“Well, on that happy note,” Wes’s voice came over the sound system, and everyone turned to the stage where he stood, grinning, “I want to make a toast.”
Thad was going around passing out sparkling cider to everyone (though there was champagne in the kitchen, and they could have drank it if they had wanted to), and they all gathered in front of the stage.
“New Directions beat us fair and square at Regionals,” Wes started, “And we were all sure that they were going to win Nationals. But, as we all know, that was not the case. Here’s to hoping that next year will bring them that far once again, and that their success is great.”
It was a cheesy toast, very Wes-style (minus the gavel, which surprised Blaine), but everyone was grinning and raising their glasses as they yelled “Cheers!” and, in most cases, downed their glasses.
“I also have something else to say,” Wes said, before everyone could start talking again, “And it’s very important.”
Everyone got silent, and Kurt shot Blaine a confused look. Blaine just shrugged.
“We the Warblers are overjoyed to be friends with you New Directions members,” Wes said, smiling, “And that would not have been possible if not for the relationship of our beloved Blaine and your beloved Kurt.”
Everyone looked towards Kurt and Blaine, clapping and laughing. The two just grinned, though both blushed a deep red.
“And this month is their three-month anniversary. I cannot tell you how proud I am of Blaine, in particular,” Wes said. Blaine’s face drained of color.
He wouldn’t.
“I mean, he was completely straight as a pole back in September,” Wes said, nodding, “But three months ago, Kurt led him to see the light. As you all know, Blaine is now gay, and that is something that I believe he has been struggling to realize for a while. He’s also gotten over his compulsive lying, which was, quite honestly, a big problem, and it still may be, really. I mean, it took him this long to tell Kurt that he wasn’t always gay, right? Well, not until after Regionals, that is. But I think that Blaine is on a great path, and Kurt is definitely helping him get there. So thank you Kurt, for all you’ve done. And Blaine, I’m so proud of you.”
He would.
The room was completely silent, and every single person was now looking at Blaine, expressions of hurt, betrayal, hatred on their faces. Blaine couldn’t even bring himself to look at Kurt until he spoke.
“You…you lied to me.” Kurt said softly, his voice shaking.
“Kurt, I promise, I didn’t mean to…”Blaine started, but Kurt wasn’t finished.
“Fuck, Blaine,” Kurt said, Blaine wincing at the profanity that Kurt never used, “I have been tortured all of my life for being gay, and there was no one there for me who understood. Yeah, everyone was telling me it was going to be okay, but none of them knew. Then you came along, and I thought everything was going to be okay. You were my role model, my light at the end of the tunnel…and that was all a lie? How am I supposed to believe you now? You’re not even gay now, are you? From the beginning, you have been playing me like a piano. Well guess what? It worked.”
“Kurt, can we not do this right here?” Blaine said softly, wincing. Everyone had gone silent and was staring at the two.
“We’re doing this NOW. You were my friend. And the whole time, I thought you understood me because you were on the same page. I finally had someone who maybe wouldn’t love me back, but who knew what it was like to be me and be in my shoes. Shit, I would’ve loved to have someone like that even if he wasn’t gay. But I guess you felt the compulsive need to lie to me and pretend you were gay, because you wanted to hurt me, or for whatever sick reason…” Kurt said, tears rolling down his cheeks as he lectured Blaine.
“Kurt, it wasn’t like that, I promise.” Blaine said, stepping forward. But Kurt just stepped back.
“Yes it was, Blaine,” he yelled, angry, “That’s EXACTLY what it was. There is no other reason that you could have pretended to be gay, because it certainly wasn’t for competition. You are a scum bag, Blaine Anderson. A bottom feeder, a Neanderthal, a douche bag. Blaine, there aren’t even words to describe you, and if there were, they’d probably be outlawed.”
“When you kissed me, did you mean it?” Kurt asked, before anyone could jump in, though nobody would dare, “When you told me that I moved you and you’d been looking for me forever, was that my boyfriend Blaine? Or was that you? When you fucking told me you loved me, was that real? Or was that another one of your lies?”
“Yes, Kurt,” Blaine said, tears now sliding past his cheeks as well, “That’s when I changed. That’s when I realized that I love you. And I do, Kurt. I do.”
“Blaine, can you even imagine how I feel right now? God, I waited for you. I waited so long,” Kurt sobbed, putting his hand over his mouth as he cried shamelessly, “And I watched you play with my heart, hoping that one day you’d feel for me like I felt for you. You were my knight in shining armor, Blaine. You saved me from everything wrong, and with you, everything felt right. And getting closer to you just hurt me even more until you finally felt the same way about me. When you kissed me, Blaine…that was the best moment of my life. You don’t even know. You probably didn’t even feel it, did you? Oh, let me just kiss Kurt and he won’t care. He won’t feel it, just like he didn’t feel anything else. Blaine, before you, I’d never had anyone to tell me they loved me or anyone to hold my hand and slow dance with me and kiss me, and when you became that person for me, that was the best feeling I will ever have. But it was all a lie. You don’t know how much that kills me, Blaine. I feel like…like I’m dying, Blaine. But you don’t even care. You’re just going to stand there and watch me break down, because it doesn’t even matter to you.”
“Kurt, stop.” Blaine said quietly, begging with his eyes.
“I loved you, Blaine. I loved you, and I thought you were different.” Kurt whispered, and everyone in the room could hear it. He turned on his heel and walked out the front door, not daring to look back.
“Kurt, stop!” Blaine called, running after him.
“Woah, man. Stop right there.” Puck said, sliding in front of him.
“Haven’t you done enough? You are not gonna hurt my boy anymore.” Mercedes said, narrowing her eyes and joining him.
“Let me just…let me just take him home, okay? I want to make sure he gets home okay.” Blaine said, trying to push past them, but neither would budge.
“Let him go.” A voice said softly. Everyone turned to see Santana looking at Blaine with an expression that almost resembled…pity.
“I’ll go too, if you want. You know, if you need a witness or something.” She said, blushing a bit.
Blaine took that as his chance to escape. He ran out the front door and saw Kurt on the far end of the porch, sobbing.
“Kurt, I’m sorry.” He said, approaching Kurt.
“Take me home.” Kurt said coldly, looking up, though he still sobbed. In the dim light, Blaine saw his eyes red and puffy, his lips swollen. He looked horrible, and Blaine couldn’t help but feel a huge pang of guilt when seeing him like that.
So, slowly and quietly, he and Kurt walked to Blaine’s car. The ride home was just as quiet, though it was even more awkward. The first song that had come up on the radio station they’d been listening to was ‘Teenage Dream’ by Katy Perry, and Kurt had promptly turned the radio off. It seemed like that song was following Blaine, haunting him.
Twenty minutes later, they were at Kurt’s house. It was only nine, but both were suddenly tired. Blaine turned the car off, the hum of the engine quieting and creating complete silence, aside from the crickets chirping outside. Kurt got out of the car quickly, and Blaine followed him. Before Kurt could put his hand on the doorknob of his house’s front door, Blaine put a hand on his shoulder.
“Kurt, can we talk about this?” he asked softly, begging not only with his eyes, but his tone now.
“No, Blaine,” Kurt said calmly, spinning around, tears still fresh in his eyes, “We can NOT talk about this.”
“Kurt,” Blaine begged, his chest shaking with pre-sobs.
“Blaine,” Kurt said, his face stone cold and his voice rising with anger, “You broke my heart. There is nothing fucking left to be said. Dammit, Blaine, stop crying, I know it’s a lie. You don’t care about me, and everyone knows that. I know that. So stop trying to convince me, because I see right through your lies now. I never want to see your face again, so leave me alone. Don’t come back.”
He had been yelling at that point, and before Blaine could say anything else, the front door swung open, a surprised-looking Burt standing there, a worried Carole behind him.
“What’s going on here?” Burt asked, narrowing his eyes as he tried to make a connection between the tears on both the boys’ cheeks.
“Nothing,” Kurt snapped, though his voice was soft, “Nothing is going on here, nothing ever was.”
Blaine, who heard the meaning behind his words that escaped Burt and Carole, was now reduced to full-on begging.
“Kurt, I can explain. Please don’t do this,” he sobbed, taking Kurt’s hand as he pleaded. Kurt snatched it back, his eyes burning a hole in Blaine.
“Goodbye, Blaine.” He said, pushing past Burt. Blaine watched as he ran into the house, sobbing so quietly, thinking that Blaine missed it.
“If you show your sorry face around here again, I will not hesitate to beat the living crap out of you,” Burt said, narrowing his eyes at Blaine, jabbing him with his finger as he pointed at him, “Now, I don’t know exactly what happened here, but I know that Kurt doesn’t want you around here, so you better not be.”
With that, he backed up and slammed the door in Blaine’s face.
Blaine sunk to the ground, sobbing as he sat on Kurt Hummel’s porch, hoping that Kurt would come running out, saying that he forgave him and completely understood, that he loved him and that they would be together forever, now that all honesty had been restored in their relationship.
But he didn’t.