growing up...

[jjjjenelle]

a homie from high school called me today. he moved out of town recently, doing big things with his life. he called to tell me he's going to be a husband AND a father! he's so excited!. i thought to myself, damn he's so ready! he knows what's ahead and he's so prepapred. his plans are going just where he wanted. i couldnt help but congratulate him a thousand times on his success. im so jealous! i dont even know what i want to major in yet... and another homie from high school called me and told me about this girl i used to kick it with talking about how she met the guy she wants to marry already. its fucking crazy... everyones hella growing up. i feel so stuck in the same position. i guess a part of me is too scared to move on. i guess that's why i hold to things. im afraid of change. and when things dont go my way i dont know how to adjust or just even accept what's given to me. all this dwelling is getting ridiculous. relationships, stress, and the responsibilities i complain about make me feel like such a damn pussy. i need to stop thinking about how things used to be and like how things are.

cant wait til jenn comes to visit!!!! my summer has been so dull. i need some entertainment in my life!