The Growing Curve - Part 2 of 3
All disclaimers still apply. Enjoy!
Finn Hudson’s and Panic at the disco’s amazing and epic adventures on tour: Visitors pt. I
Not many people are aware of this, but Smytech, one of the leading investment/banking firms in the world is a big sponsor of Warped tour. Nobody knows how this arrangement came to be, except that it enabled Warped to function every year.
Then the credit crunch happened and while Smytech wasn’t as badly affected as most, it led to a review of all outside investments, which were in danger of being cut. Now, the aging director of Smytech would be the first to admit that he is completely clueless when it comes to music, especially rock music. However, he does have a young son, who is trying to break into the business and the director feels that following up on the Warped investment business is right up his alley.
This is how Sebastian Smythe finds himself standing in a parking lot somewhere in Milwaukee, about to embark on a tour of the famous Warped tour.
Now to be clear: Sebastian does not want to be here.
In fact there are quite a few places where he would prefer to be at this moment, despite the almost all-male personnel on display on such a tour. Tattooed and smelly was never a particular kink of his.
It isn’t even his type of music; it’s a well-known fact that he loves his boybands and the infernal screeching coming from one of the stages where a band is playing to a plethora of sweaty teenagers is already causing him a headache. He almost manages to tune out the guide’s incessant blathering about “bringing rock closer to the kids” or something similarly sappy, when a familiar figure catches his eye. One of the scruffy technicians has a familiar set of broad shoulders and hmmm that ass is definitely familiar. Then he turns around and Sebastian wants to laugh out loud, because what are the odds?
“Well, well, what do we have here? Finn Hudson, soloist extraordinaire, leader of the famed New Directions struggling with some amps in a dirty parking lot. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” It certainly sounded nicer in his head. He can see the moment Hudson recognizes him, his face contorting into a grimace, though there’s a spark of humor in his eyes that definitely wasn’t there in high school.
“Sebastian Smythe. Still an asshole, I see.” Hudson is rolling his eyes, but he still drops the amp he’s carrying and jumps off the trailer, offering his hand when he comes closer. “Kurt told me you were reformed, though apparently not enough for basic human courtesy.”
Sebastian takes the proffered hand and holds it for what may be a moment too long. “And he told me that you fuck boys now. You even know big words like courtesy, so really, things can only go up from here.” Hudson rolls his eyes again, but there’s a flush of pink on his cheeks. Sebastian counts it as a victory.
“No, really, what are you doing here? The heat wasn’t enough of a pain and hell decided I needed another tormentor?” Hudson gives a nod at Sebastian’s entourage, ignoring their wide-eyed looks.
“I’m here for show and tell, haven’t you heard?” and Sebastian gets an idea “So why don’t you be the one to show me around? The full Finn Hudson experience.”
“Finn Hudson tours? Those cost money you know.” Is Hudson flirting? Why, this might actually be fun. And he’s still blushing. He has also apparently noticed the pleading looks the guy from Warped management is shooting him. “But it’s not like you’re hard up on cash, with all of daddy’s money on tap. Come on then, you’re lucky my band isn’t on until later.”
It’s a wonderful opening, Sebastian can’t resist. “Ohh your boys…are they cute? I bet they are. Have you fucked any of them yet?” Hudson is practically crimson by now, but there’s something in the tenseness of his shoulders that tells Sebastian that he’s crossed a line.
“They are off-limits for you. You get near them and I end you, money or not. Clear?”
“Crystal.” Sebastian replies “Reformed, remember?” Hudson nods and relaxes.
“So, tour?”
“Lead on.” And he does. His ass is still quite exceptional. He is also surprisingly competent at his job. He explains the layout of the tour and the grounds, but it’s not until they get to the equipment and the music that his expertise really shines.
He takes Sebastian to one of the empty stages and they stand in quiet for a few moments.
“Do you miss performing?”
Sebastian decides to be truthful. “Sometimes. You?”
“Yeah.” They change the subject after that.
After a while Hudson apparently remembers a piece of information about Sebastian. His voice takes on a teasing tone. “Sooo, how’s Dave doing?”
Sebastian feels his face transforming into a smile before he manages to school it back into indifference. “He’s fine. He’s finishing law school and he already has an internship in one of LA’s best law firms.” Again, he fails to hide his proud tone.
“Oh, I heard from Kurt about the epic romance. Met again in college and he didn’t immediately fall for your charms. How long was it before you swept him off his feet? Who would have guessed? David Karofsky, the one who finally tamed the Sebastian Smythe. Don’t even try to hide it; I saw the sappy look on your face.”
Sebastian is saved from responding by a shouted ‘Finn Hudson!’ and a blur attaching itself to Hudson’s back. Hudson barely staggers under the weight and his face morphs into a familiar dopey grin. The man-child attached to him is cute, Sebastian supposes. Again, not his type but there’s no accounting for taste and Hudson’s was apparently tiny and sweaty. Still, no harm in having a bit of fun.
“Well now,” Sebastian purrs “who’s your pretty little friend, Hudson, and where have you been hiding him from me?”
Hudson’s little boyfriend flushes a little, but his “I’m Brendon! Who’s this, Finn?” is confident and his head tilt just barely passing from real to theatrical. A performer then. Probably from Hudson’s baby band. Definitely fun.
“I am Sebastian Smythe” he replies with a flourish “and I-” “am trouble.” Hudson interrupts “He’s just someone I knew in high school.” he says to the little singer. Because he can’t be anything else with those lips, obviously.
“Oh, did you go to the same school?” the boy…Brendon, asks Sebastian, who immediately bursts out laughing.
“As if I would ever set a foot in public school! No, no, you see, Hudson and I were in rivaling show choirs in high school and due to a gross oversight by the judges we, the Warblers were eliminated and the much less talented New Directions-” “won Nationals that year.” Hudson interrupting again.
“You sang in a show choir, Finn? Really?” little Brendon is looking up at Hudson with absolute adoration and Hudson is slowly turning red under the scrutiny. God, this kept getting better and better.
“He was the male lead in his show choir, which must have been some mistake, because he couldn’t dance a step in tune and had to be restrained for most of the performance to avoid collapsing the other singers.” Sebastian remarks and on cue Hudson turns redder.
“I don’t remember you holding a trophy, Smythe. In fact all I seem to remember is you attempting to seduce my brother-in-law and acting like a dick.” Hudson is glaring now. Ooops?
“You mean liking dick. I don’t recall any Hummel-Anderson wedding bells ringing and they certainly weren’t married then, so really, no need to cast me as a villain.”
“They’re practically married anyway. And you’ve always been the villain.” Hudson still looks exasperated, but he keeps glancing at Brendon from the corner of his eye, arm still around his waist where he placed it earlier.
“Finn? What’s this about show choirs and Nationals?” the kid sounds unhappy. Apparently Finn never told them about this aspect of his life.
“How about we talk about this later?” Hudson’s voice has softened dramatically. Oh yeah, there was definitely a crush going on here, at the least. “I’ll tell you everything before soundcheck, okay? I just have to get rid of this guy and then I’ll come find you as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” Mumbles Brendon, pouting. After offering Sebastian a wave goodbye he disappears into the crowd and Hudson…was that longing? Sebastian had to get out of there or he’d either puke or burst out laughing.
“I never would have thought you’d like them younger. How old is he, 16? Then again I never thought you’d be the type to like boys either until Dave told me after Kurt called.”
“He’s twenty! Not that it matters. Brendon is amazing and funny and smart and a great musician so just…back off okay? He’s going to be a star!”
“Fine. I’m not here to be your agony aunt. As long as you know what you’re doing.” Sebastian is nonchalantly inspecting his nails. “Now take me out of here, I have places to be.”
Their parting is pretty anti-climatic after that. Hudson takes him back to the starting point and excuses himself to prepare for Panic’s performance.
“Once an asshole, always an asshole. I’m on to you, Smythe.” Still, Hudson is grinning at him, taking the sting out of the words and his handshake is firm. “Say hi to Dave. Try not to screw it up.”
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the tour. Hope I don’t see you around.” And just as Finn is turning to go: “And Hudson? You’re a catch. If I didn’t have Dave, I’d definitely be interested, so stop putting yourself down. Any guy should be happy to have you, even though he’d have to give you a dictionary for a normal conversation.” Hudson just walks away, but he’s blushing again and he turns around to wave before disappearing into the crowds.
Sebastian turns to the Warped tour representative, who is a nervous wreck by now and is clutching his mobile phone like he’s going to commit suicide with it. “Smytech will remain as sponsors of Warped tour, until someone else decides differently. Sneaky of you though, throwing Finn Hudson at me as an offering. All us gay boys had crushes on him in high school. Now stop gaping, god knows it makes you look even more unattractive. Good day.” Then he saunters to the waiting car and drives away, leaving the tour and the relived employees in the dust.
Relaxing in the luxurious seats, he takes stock of the day. Then he pulls out his iPhone and calls Dave.
All in a day’s work.
Finn Hudson and Panic at the disco’s epic adventures on tour: Youtube is a boy’s best friend
After the conversation with that Smythe guy and Finn, Brendon doesn’t linger around the stage or try to find anything else to occupy with. Instead he makes a beeline for the bus and the Macbook that Spencer will surely kindly lend him. Or he shall be forced to take it by force, because Brendon has to know if it’s true right now, or he’ll burst.
Was Finn really the dashing male lead in an award-winning show choir? What did his voice really sound like, free and unrestrained? Was he really such a horrible dancer?
Google will know. Google knows everything.
“Spencer Smith, this is an emergency, give me your laptop!” Brendon skids onto the bus and almost trips over the pile of Jon/Tom flip-flops that keep mysteriously multiplying overnight (Brendon thinks they may be breeding, but Tom had just laughed every time he asked about it. Brendon misses him.). Spencer just stares at him, but slowly extends the hands holding on to the laptop. Brendon snatches it out of his hands and flops down next to him on the couch. He starts typing furiously while explaining the story to his bemused bandmate.
“…met this guy who knew Finn in high school…” enter search: Finn Hudson new directions show choir “…Finn sang in a show choir…” There are a lot of articles with titles like: Small town Ohio takes surprising win at Nationals; McKinnley Glee club Journeys to the top; Daring New Directions sing original songs etc. Brendon clicks on the first one and Finn is right there, in a group photo, proudly holding up a trophy surrounded by smiling faces. Younger, goofier maybe, but it’s definitely their Finn.
“Look! It’s true!” Spencer and Jon, who had obviously been attracted by the commotion, are reading over his shoulder. “There’s videos too.” says Jon and Brendon immediately clicks on the one that’s titled: New Directions-Regionals.
The video is a bit shaky, but you can still clearly see that it’s Finn making his way through the audience to the stage, singing with a pretty dark-haired girl. The picture doesn’t really matter, because Brendon shuts his eyes and just listens after a while. It’s Finn and he’s singing Faithfully and Brendon’s heart might just be skipping, because it’s Finn’s voice and it’s just like he imagined it would sound like: low and husky, but smooth, fitting the song perfectly.
The three watch, wide-eyed as the choir transitions effortlessly into a mash-up of Journey songs that shouldn’t possibly sound as good as it does. Once this video finishes, Spencer reaches over and clicks on another, because Brendon is kind of limp right now. This one is called Nationals and starts with the female members of the choir.
“Is that Quinn Fabray?” Jon asks. Brendon squints. The pretty blond looks rather a lot like the newest actress on The OC that Jon is maybe a bit obsessed with. “Finn knows Quinn Fabray? That’s why he’s been smirking at me so knowingly every time I start to tell him stuff about her!” Well, Jon is obviously distracted now. On the screen the brunette singer from before is earnestly singing something that might be Celine Dion and her voice really is fantastic, but Brendon wants more Finn right now, please!
As if answering his call, Finn starts of Paradise by the dashboard light, looking adorable in his red tie and his dancing was just…Brendon might have swooned a little.
The next video says it’s from Regionals the year before, but it also says Original songs so they click on it anyway. Finn and the brunette are singing again, but this time the song is unfamiliar. It’s pretty, but feels unpolished and probably like a bunch of talented high school kids wrote it, thinks Brendon, steadily ignoring the irony.
Then Finn and the girl lean in and well…make out on stage practically. A weight settles in Brendon’s stomach, because of course he would be dating his beautiful co-star. The next song is catchy and something about lighting up the world, but Brendon barely hears anything.
“Well, that brings back memories.”
Finn is leaning against the kitchenette’s counter, the door hissing closed behind him. Brendon throws himself at him before he even finishes the sentence. Finn somehow catches him without faltering and Brendon has a small moment when he thinks: Why am I so upset about this? before he buries his face into Finn’s collar. He smells familiar, like musk and candy and unwashed hoodie, exactly like he smelled the day before, when he was laughing at Brendon’s attempts at a Southern accent. He’s the same Finn and yet he’s not, because there’s this whole back-story that Brendon is missing that keeps adding layers to every action now. Brendon pulls away as if he’s burning and sits back on the couch, looking at the carpet.
Finn makes an aborted motion towards him, but seems to change his mind and just stands awkwardly in front of the band, looking a bit like a man confronting a firing squad.
“So you used to be a singer.”
Ryan is standing at the entrance of the bunk area. Finn smiles at him gratefully for breaking the silence.
“Well kinda. I used to be in Glee club, which was basically a show choir. Biggest losers in school.” At this, Finn’s smile turns bitter.
“But you won Nationals? Wasn’t that a big competition?” asks Spencer.
“Sure. Didn’t make us any cooler, but it made us happy.”
“You know Quinn Fabray? Seriously man, you can’t keep that sort of information to yourself. Aren’t we bros?” Jon being subtle, of course.
“Quinn was in Glee, yeah. She owned the school, head cheerleader and everything. I haven’t spoken to her in years, though I’m not surprised that she’s so successful.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Brendon’s voice is quiet and he’s sitting uncharacteristically still.
“You’ll ask for a phone number later, come on.” Spencer drags Jon off the bus, while giving Finn a significant look. Ryan disappears quietly into the back lounge.
Brendon doesn’t move. Finn crosses the carpet and carefully settles next to him on the couch. Brendon curls away, instead of into Finn and he can feel Finn wince and immediately wants to forget all about his disappointment, just to tuck himself back against his side, but resists the impulse.
“I’m sorry.” Brendon doesn’t reply. “Look it’s…it’s like this. We were all outcasts in Glee club, no matter how normal some of us may have looked at first glance. It was a place where every one of us was unconditionally accepted, but that didn’t stop us from being the ones who ended up hurting each other the worst. There were some of the best times of my life, but there were also things I’d do anything to forget. Me and Rachel…”at this Finn’s voice breaks and Brendon forgets about being upset, twisting around and lying close to Finn’s side. After a beat, Finn slings his arm around him and pulls him closer.
“We were engaged. I loved her more than anything else in my life. When she moved to college in New York I broke off the engagement, because I didn’t want to hold her back, but we stayed together. She went to the big city and I stayed in Lima and eventually it just didn’t work anymore. I never stopped loving her. I failed getting into college, I failed at boot camp and all that happened made me strange. I hurt all the time and I wanted it to stop, so I shut it in and became indifferent to everything. My step brother and his boyfriend kept me sane, but until I discovered music I was basically numb. My band broke up eventually, but I found a purpose in life. And now I have you guys to look after. Despite that, I prefer to forget that part of my life. Especially Rachel, which is hard, because she’s featured in every part of it. I’m sorry.”
They sit in silence for a while. “Okay.” is what Brendon eventually says.
“Yeah?”
“Yep. One condition though. You sing with me more often. I want to sing with you.”
“It’s a deal.”
They sit like that for a while in silence, close together, Brendon’s head tucked under Finn’s chin and Finn drawing absentminded patterns on Brendon’s shoulder.
“Sooo….Aladdin?”
“Definitely.”
They sing along to every song.
Finn Hudson’s and Panic at the disco’s amazing and epic adventures on tour: Visitors pt.II
Since high school ended, Finn had been peripherally aware of Quinn Fabray, but he hadn’t actively spoken to her in years. She cut most of her ties to McKinley when she moved to Hollywood to pursue an acting career and to be honest Finn understood where she was coming from. There wasn’t anything left to say between them anyway.
He had only discovered that she was the newest teen sensation through Jon’s fangirling. When he watched an episode with him, he was surprised at how indifferent he felt when he looked at her. Sure, she was still extraordinarily beautiful, but she didn’t make him feel like he before, the mix of fondness, sadness and confusion he could only label as Quinn.
Jon was upset when he learned that Finn knew Quinn in high school and never told him. Since there wasn’t an upset Jon Walker that a discreet joint and beer couldn’t heal, Finn didn’t worry too much.
No, he didn’t have her phone number, they didn’t talk anymore and Finn didn’t know what music she liked; yes, they dated ("You what?" Jon said, wounded) but not particularly seriously. (it was complicated, okay?)
He didn’t give it much thought. Hollywood was as far away as it was possible to be from Kansas, where there were stages to prepare and beer to drink and sweat to well...sweat.
This made running into her in front of the Fall Out boy bus even more dramatic. Really, Jon looking like a tomato and stuttering should have tipped him off that Pete Wentz's newest celebrity girlfriend was around, but Finn was still having problems imagining prim and clean Quinn in the middle of Warped tour.
She looks completely out of place holding on to Pete’s hoodie wearing a sheer white summer dress and leaving most of the unwashed musicians a bit bemused, staring in admiration at this beautiful woman who dared to be so clean on the dirtiest tour of the year.
She takes Finn by complete surprise and clearly she didn’t expect to see him either, because they both freeze in the middle of the parking lot, staring open-mouthed. Then the moment is over and Finn finds his arms full of Quinn and it’s like he’s fifteen again, her hair smelling like flowers and sunshine and everything he'd ever wanted. Unbidden a memory strikes him, maybe a verse from Lean on me and he lets go.
His "Hi, Quinn." is still a bit wobbly.
Her smile is sad too. "Finn. It’s really good to see you."
"I didn’t think you'd even recognize me with all the celebrities you meet now." he grins at her "and dating rockstars already! I hope Wentz has been treating you right." He shots a glance at the bassist, who looks progressively more confused, looking back and forth between his girlfriend and Panic’s tech.
Quinn draws herself up, hands on her hips and suddenly she looks every inch the Queen Bee of McKinnley and one of the strongest women Finn had ever known.
"Of course."
"He'd better. I'd give him a talk or something, but..." he said the next part to Wentz "Really, she can take care of herself."
Quinn laughs and eventually Pete does too, though he still looks puzzled.
Finn feels Brendon’s eyes on him throughout the conversation and knows that he was going to have to explain some things later. Brendon isn’t stupid; he was probably guessing Quinn’s place in Finn’s high school stories already.
"What are you doing here anyway? Last time I heard of you, you were still in Lima, running around with a band or something, my mom wasn’t too specific." ‘and you didn’t really care enough to ask.’ finished Finn, mentally.
"I tech for these guys." He reaches backwards blindly for Brendon’s elbow and tugs him forward. The rest of the band follows, everyone a little flustered when Finn introduces them, even Ryan. Jon is worst off, blushing crimson, but he manages a question about the newest plot twist quite admirably.
Finn continues resting his on the crook of Brendon’s elbow, leaving it there, even after Quinn focuses on it with almost laser precision.
"I signed them when they were still babies!" Pete has apparently had enough of being ignored. He settles his arm back around Quinn’s waist, leaving a small smear of eyeliner on her dress, right next to a spot of oil that must have been Finn’s fault. Finn opens his mouth to apologize, but the couple is already making their excuses and Quinn is saying her goodbyes and "We'll keep in touch from now on, right Finn?"
Finn nods and smiles back, even though no one in Glee club had had Quinn’s phone number for years. They leave, Pete still chattering away and Finn realizes with a start that her dress is already turning darker, because of the dust and will probably be much dirtier by the end of the day, strained by mud and eyeliner.
She doesn’t look back.
Later on, after all the shows are done for the night, some of the techs build a bonfire in an open field near the buses. Finn sits down not far from the flames, on the ground, legs drawn up and head resting on his knees.
This is how Brendon finds him, appearing from the darkness somewhere in the direction of the buses. He hands Finn an opened beer and clinks their bottles together.
"Snuck them past Ryan. Thought you might like one."
Finn smiles in thanks as Brendon settles next to him. He’s not leaning on him, but Finn feels his warmth against his side. The beer is too warm and Finn has never gotten used to the taste, but he drinks it anyway, trying to gather his thoughts.
"Me and Quinn got together freshman year. The head cheerleader and the quarterback, it was the perfect high school romance." Brendon is silent by his side. “She was the president of the Celibacy club and very religious, so really there was very little fooling around, but I thought I loved her anyway. Then one day she told me she was pregnant and it was my kid."
Brendon sucks in a sharp breath next to him and Finn feels his wide-eyed stare even without looking at him.
"Yeah. It was strange, since we didn’t do much of anything, but I loved her and I believed her. After her religious parents kicked her out of the house, she came to live with my mom and I and I got a job trying to pay the medical bills. I was scared as hell, but I fell in love with that baby. I sang to the sonogram and I picked out a name, even though looking back, it was a pretty horrible name for a baby. I really wanted to be a dad and be there for my kid, like my dad never managed to be for me. Then Rachel had to be the one to tell me." Finn took a deep breath, aware that his voice was breaking. "She wasn’t mine. Turns out my best friend got my girlfriend pregnant and she lied to me, saying it was mine so I would take responsibility."
Finn can't speak anymore, but it’s okay, because Brendon wraps his arms around him and squeezes hard enough that it’s difficult to breathe. Finn is aware that he doesn’t really mind. Quinn’s appearance brought up things he would rather have left forgotten and now he’s drowning in emotion he’d thought he got over years ago. Brendon smells like sweat and stage make up, likely on one of his no-showering strikes and he doesn’t smell anything like flowers and somehow that’s more comforting than anything else.
"I'm sorry." whispers Brendon against his neck.
"Me too." Is all Finn says. Then a few beats later: "Tell me something."
"Like what?" asks Brendon, loosening his hold and pulling away slightly.
"Anything."
Brendon is quiet for a few minutes.
"When I was 18 and after Pete got us signed, my parents kicked me out of the house. They couldn’t understand it, when I told them that I didn’t believe in god and that I would go on to tour the country with my band, instead of with a mission. So they cut me off. Wouldn’t answer my phone calls, wouldn’t open the door and wouldn’t see me."
Brendon’s usually expressive voice had turned into a monotone and he stares impassively out into the dark. Finn puts an arm around him and pulls him back against his side tightly. Brendon’s voice doesn’t change, but his hand fists in Finn’s hoodie until his knuckles turn white.
“I got a shitty apartment in a shitty part of town and spent most of the time either at school, work or practicing with the band. Then we went on tour and I called home almost every week, but nobody answered. It wasn’t until one night after our album went big, that my little sister picked up the phone. “
“She told me that she saw our video on TV at a friend’s house and that the ladies had very pretty dresses. Then she asked me when I was coming home. I didn’t know what to tell her, so I just told her about the things I saw while on tour, cities and people and how Ryan spilled juice on himself and it looked like he’d peed himself, until she was laughing so hard, my mom came to check on her and took away the phone.”
“I talked to my mom for the first time in months and she told me she loved me and that she was trying to understand. Eventually my dad came around too and we talk sometimes and my brothers come to our concerts and almost scream louder than the fangirls. But…” Brendon falls silent, worrying his lip between his teeth.
“But, what?” Finn asks, gently. Which is harder than it looks, really, because all he wants to is to yell and punch things, because Brendon doesn’t deserve this and not for the first time he sends out a grateful prayer for his mom and Burt.
“They don’t get me, you know? They can listen to the band or come to see the show, but it’s all too much for them. When I’m around them I can’t talk about Disney or my music or the band, because they get this scared look on their faces, like I’m somehow the devil in disguise that came to ruin their perfect uniform lives, but I’m not, I’m just me, like I’ve always been. God forbid I ever bring a boyfriend home, they might get a heart attack.”
Finn winces a little at that, aware that they’re currently in a suspicious position to anyone watching, but then remembers that most fangirls ship Ryden anyway, so in the end he just pulls Brendon closer against his chest.
“Hey, I happen to think that you’re pretty awesome.” says Finn, startling a watery chuckle from Brendon.
The thing is, Finn doesn’t remember ever being this sappy before meeting Brendon, but looking at him now, practically cradled in his arms, he can’t help thinking how tiny he is compared to Finn’s big frame and that he looks like someone who needs hiding away from the world, because he’s too precious to be hurt. Then again, he also can’t help seeing the Brendon Urie who got up after passing out and finished the set flawlessly, who could make a room fall in lust with him just by singing and who was ready to stand behind his beliefs no matter what.
At the same time he was dorky Brendon with a love for Disney and video games and musical theatre, who could sing the whole Tenacious D record by heart and made Finn’s heart beat faster.
Sadly, Finn had never been very good at words. So repeating “You’re pretty damn awesome just the way you are, Brendon Urie.” is the best he can come up with.
Brendon’s answering grin is pretty damn awesome too.
Part three
Finn Hudson’s and Panic at the disco’s amazing and epic adventures on tour: Visitors pt. I
Not many people are aware of this, but Smytech, one of the leading investment/banking firms in the world is a big sponsor of Warped tour. Nobody knows how this arrangement came to be, except that it enabled Warped to function every year.
Then the credit crunch happened and while Smytech wasn’t as badly affected as most, it led to a review of all outside investments, which were in danger of being cut. Now, the aging director of Smytech would be the first to admit that he is completely clueless when it comes to music, especially rock music. However, he does have a young son, who is trying to break into the business and the director feels that following up on the Warped investment business is right up his alley.
This is how Sebastian Smythe finds himself standing in a parking lot somewhere in Milwaukee, about to embark on a tour of the famous Warped tour.
Now to be clear: Sebastian does not want to be here.
In fact there are quite a few places where he would prefer to be at this moment, despite the almost all-male personnel on display on such a tour. Tattooed and smelly was never a particular kink of his.
It isn’t even his type of music; it’s a well-known fact that he loves his boybands and the infernal screeching coming from one of the stages where a band is playing to a plethora of sweaty teenagers is already causing him a headache. He almost manages to tune out the guide’s incessant blathering about “bringing rock closer to the kids” or something similarly sappy, when a familiar figure catches his eye. One of the scruffy technicians has a familiar set of broad shoulders and hmmm that ass is definitely familiar. Then he turns around and Sebastian wants to laugh out loud, because what are the odds?
“Well, well, what do we have here? Finn Hudson, soloist extraordinaire, leader of the famed New Directions struggling with some amps in a dirty parking lot. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” It certainly sounded nicer in his head. He can see the moment Hudson recognizes him, his face contorting into a grimace, though there’s a spark of humor in his eyes that definitely wasn’t there in high school.
“Sebastian Smythe. Still an asshole, I see.” Hudson is rolling his eyes, but he still drops the amp he’s carrying and jumps off the trailer, offering his hand when he comes closer. “Kurt told me you were reformed, though apparently not enough for basic human courtesy.”
Sebastian takes the proffered hand and holds it for what may be a moment too long. “And he told me that you fuck boys now. You even know big words like courtesy, so really, things can only go up from here.” Hudson rolls his eyes again, but there’s a flush of pink on his cheeks. Sebastian counts it as a victory.
“No, really, what are you doing here? The heat wasn’t enough of a pain and hell decided I needed another tormentor?” Hudson gives a nod at Sebastian’s entourage, ignoring their wide-eyed looks.
“I’m here for show and tell, haven’t you heard?” and Sebastian gets an idea “So why don’t you be the one to show me around? The full Finn Hudson experience.”
“Finn Hudson tours? Those cost money you know.” Is Hudson flirting? Why, this might actually be fun. And he’s still blushing. He has also apparently noticed the pleading looks the guy from Warped management is shooting him. “But it’s not like you’re hard up on cash, with all of daddy’s money on tap. Come on then, you’re lucky my band isn’t on until later.”
It’s a wonderful opening, Sebastian can’t resist. “Ohh your boys…are they cute? I bet they are. Have you fucked any of them yet?” Hudson is practically crimson by now, but there’s something in the tenseness of his shoulders that tells Sebastian that he’s crossed a line.
“They are off-limits for you. You get near them and I end you, money or not. Clear?”
“Crystal.” Sebastian replies “Reformed, remember?” Hudson nods and relaxes.
“So, tour?”
“Lead on.” And he does. His ass is still quite exceptional. He is also surprisingly competent at his job. He explains the layout of the tour and the grounds, but it’s not until they get to the equipment and the music that his expertise really shines.
He takes Sebastian to one of the empty stages and they stand in quiet for a few moments.
“Do you miss performing?”
Sebastian decides to be truthful. “Sometimes. You?”
“Yeah.” They change the subject after that.
After a while Hudson apparently remembers a piece of information about Sebastian. His voice takes on a teasing tone. “Sooo, how’s Dave doing?”
Sebastian feels his face transforming into a smile before he manages to school it back into indifference. “He’s fine. He’s finishing law school and he already has an internship in one of LA’s best law firms.” Again, he fails to hide his proud tone.
“Oh, I heard from Kurt about the epic romance. Met again in college and he didn’t immediately fall for your charms. How long was it before you swept him off his feet? Who would have guessed? David Karofsky, the one who finally tamed the Sebastian Smythe. Don’t even try to hide it; I saw the sappy look on your face.”
Sebastian is saved from responding by a shouted ‘Finn Hudson!’ and a blur attaching itself to Hudson’s back. Hudson barely staggers under the weight and his face morphs into a familiar dopey grin. The man-child attached to him is cute, Sebastian supposes. Again, not his type but there’s no accounting for taste and Hudson’s was apparently tiny and sweaty. Still, no harm in having a bit of fun.
“Well now,” Sebastian purrs “who’s your pretty little friend, Hudson, and where have you been hiding him from me?”
Hudson’s little boyfriend flushes a little, but his “I’m Brendon! Who’s this, Finn?” is confident and his head tilt just barely passing from real to theatrical. A performer then. Probably from Hudson’s baby band. Definitely fun.
“I am Sebastian Smythe” he replies with a flourish “and I-” “am trouble.” Hudson interrupts “He’s just someone I knew in high school.” he says to the little singer. Because he can’t be anything else with those lips, obviously.
“Oh, did you go to the same school?” the boy…Brendon, asks Sebastian, who immediately bursts out laughing.
“As if I would ever set a foot in public school! No, no, you see, Hudson and I were in rivaling show choirs in high school and due to a gross oversight by the judges we, the Warblers were eliminated and the much less talented New Directions-” “won Nationals that year.” Hudson interrupting again.
“You sang in a show choir, Finn? Really?” little Brendon is looking up at Hudson with absolute adoration and Hudson is slowly turning red under the scrutiny. God, this kept getting better and better.
“He was the male lead in his show choir, which must have been some mistake, because he couldn’t dance a step in tune and had to be restrained for most of the performance to avoid collapsing the other singers.” Sebastian remarks and on cue Hudson turns redder.
“I don’t remember you holding a trophy, Smythe. In fact all I seem to remember is you attempting to seduce my brother-in-law and acting like a dick.” Hudson is glaring now. Ooops?
“You mean liking dick. I don’t recall any Hummel-Anderson wedding bells ringing and they certainly weren’t married then, so really, no need to cast me as a villain.”
“They’re practically married anyway. And you’ve always been the villain.” Hudson still looks exasperated, but he keeps glancing at Brendon from the corner of his eye, arm still around his waist where he placed it earlier.
“Finn? What’s this about show choirs and Nationals?” the kid sounds unhappy. Apparently Finn never told them about this aspect of his life.
“How about we talk about this later?” Hudson’s voice has softened dramatically. Oh yeah, there was definitely a crush going on here, at the least. “I’ll tell you everything before soundcheck, okay? I just have to get rid of this guy and then I’ll come find you as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” Mumbles Brendon, pouting. After offering Sebastian a wave goodbye he disappears into the crowd and Hudson…was that longing? Sebastian had to get out of there or he’d either puke or burst out laughing.
“I never would have thought you’d like them younger. How old is he, 16? Then again I never thought you’d be the type to like boys either until Dave told me after Kurt called.”
“He’s twenty! Not that it matters. Brendon is amazing and funny and smart and a great musician so just…back off okay? He’s going to be a star!”
“Fine. I’m not here to be your agony aunt. As long as you know what you’re doing.” Sebastian is nonchalantly inspecting his nails. “Now take me out of here, I have places to be.”
Their parting is pretty anti-climatic after that. Hudson takes him back to the starting point and excuses himself to prepare for Panic’s performance.
“Once an asshole, always an asshole. I’m on to you, Smythe.” Still, Hudson is grinning at him, taking the sting out of the words and his handshake is firm. “Say hi to Dave. Try not to screw it up.”
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the tour. Hope I don’t see you around.” And just as Finn is turning to go: “And Hudson? You’re a catch. If I didn’t have Dave, I’d definitely be interested, so stop putting yourself down. Any guy should be happy to have you, even though he’d have to give you a dictionary for a normal conversation.” Hudson just walks away, but he’s blushing again and he turns around to wave before disappearing into the crowds.
Sebastian turns to the Warped tour representative, who is a nervous wreck by now and is clutching his mobile phone like he’s going to commit suicide with it. “Smytech will remain as sponsors of Warped tour, until someone else decides differently. Sneaky of you though, throwing Finn Hudson at me as an offering. All us gay boys had crushes on him in high school. Now stop gaping, god knows it makes you look even more unattractive. Good day.” Then he saunters to the waiting car and drives away, leaving the tour and the relived employees in the dust.
Relaxing in the luxurious seats, he takes stock of the day. Then he pulls out his iPhone and calls Dave.
All in a day’s work.
Finn Hudson and Panic at the disco’s epic adventures on tour: Youtube is a boy’s best friend
After the conversation with that Smythe guy and Finn, Brendon doesn’t linger around the stage or try to find anything else to occupy with. Instead he makes a beeline for the bus and the Macbook that Spencer will surely kindly lend him. Or he shall be forced to take it by force, because Brendon has to know if it’s true right now, or he’ll burst.
Was Finn really the dashing male lead in an award-winning show choir? What did his voice really sound like, free and unrestrained? Was he really such a horrible dancer?
Google will know. Google knows everything.
“Spencer Smith, this is an emergency, give me your laptop!” Brendon skids onto the bus and almost trips over the pile of Jon/Tom flip-flops that keep mysteriously multiplying overnight (Brendon thinks they may be breeding, but Tom had just laughed every time he asked about it. Brendon misses him.). Spencer just stares at him, but slowly extends the hands holding on to the laptop. Brendon snatches it out of his hands and flops down next to him on the couch. He starts typing furiously while explaining the story to his bemused bandmate.
“…met this guy who knew Finn in high school…” enter search: Finn Hudson new directions show choir “…Finn sang in a show choir…” There are a lot of articles with titles like: Small town Ohio takes surprising win at Nationals; McKinnley Glee club Journeys to the top; Daring New Directions sing original songs etc. Brendon clicks on the first one and Finn is right there, in a group photo, proudly holding up a trophy surrounded by smiling faces. Younger, goofier maybe, but it’s definitely their Finn.
“Look! It’s true!” Spencer and Jon, who had obviously been attracted by the commotion, are reading over his shoulder. “There’s videos too.” says Jon and Brendon immediately clicks on the one that’s titled: New Directions-Regionals.
The video is a bit shaky, but you can still clearly see that it’s Finn making his way through the audience to the stage, singing with a pretty dark-haired girl. The picture doesn’t really matter, because Brendon shuts his eyes and just listens after a while. It’s Finn and he’s singing Faithfully and Brendon’s heart might just be skipping, because it’s Finn’s voice and it’s just like he imagined it would sound like: low and husky, but smooth, fitting the song perfectly.
The three watch, wide-eyed as the choir transitions effortlessly into a mash-up of Journey songs that shouldn’t possibly sound as good as it does. Once this video finishes, Spencer reaches over and clicks on another, because Brendon is kind of limp right now. This one is called Nationals and starts with the female members of the choir.
“Is that Quinn Fabray?” Jon asks. Brendon squints. The pretty blond looks rather a lot like the newest actress on The OC that Jon is maybe a bit obsessed with. “Finn knows Quinn Fabray? That’s why he’s been smirking at me so knowingly every time I start to tell him stuff about her!” Well, Jon is obviously distracted now. On the screen the brunette singer from before is earnestly singing something that might be Celine Dion and her voice really is fantastic, but Brendon wants more Finn right now, please!
As if answering his call, Finn starts of Paradise by the dashboard light, looking adorable in his red tie and his dancing was just…Brendon might have swooned a little.
The next video says it’s from Regionals the year before, but it also says Original songs so they click on it anyway. Finn and the brunette are singing again, but this time the song is unfamiliar. It’s pretty, but feels unpolished and probably like a bunch of talented high school kids wrote it, thinks Brendon, steadily ignoring the irony.
Then Finn and the girl lean in and well…make out on stage practically. A weight settles in Brendon’s stomach, because of course he would be dating his beautiful co-star. The next song is catchy and something about lighting up the world, but Brendon barely hears anything.
“Well, that brings back memories.”
Finn is leaning against the kitchenette’s counter, the door hissing closed behind him. Brendon throws himself at him before he even finishes the sentence. Finn somehow catches him without faltering and Brendon has a small moment when he thinks: Why am I so upset about this? before he buries his face into Finn’s collar. He smells familiar, like musk and candy and unwashed hoodie, exactly like he smelled the day before, when he was laughing at Brendon’s attempts at a Southern accent. He’s the same Finn and yet he’s not, because there’s this whole back-story that Brendon is missing that keeps adding layers to every action now. Brendon pulls away as if he’s burning and sits back on the couch, looking at the carpet.
Finn makes an aborted motion towards him, but seems to change his mind and just stands awkwardly in front of the band, looking a bit like a man confronting a firing squad.
“So you used to be a singer.”
Ryan is standing at the entrance of the bunk area. Finn smiles at him gratefully for breaking the silence.
“Well kinda. I used to be in Glee club, which was basically a show choir. Biggest losers in school.” At this, Finn’s smile turns bitter.
“But you won Nationals? Wasn’t that a big competition?” asks Spencer.
“Sure. Didn’t make us any cooler, but it made us happy.”
“You know Quinn Fabray? Seriously man, you can’t keep that sort of information to yourself. Aren’t we bros?” Jon being subtle, of course.
“Quinn was in Glee, yeah. She owned the school, head cheerleader and everything. I haven’t spoken to her in years, though I’m not surprised that she’s so successful.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Brendon’s voice is quiet and he’s sitting uncharacteristically still.
“You’ll ask for a phone number later, come on.” Spencer drags Jon off the bus, while giving Finn a significant look. Ryan disappears quietly into the back lounge.
Brendon doesn’t move. Finn crosses the carpet and carefully settles next to him on the couch. Brendon curls away, instead of into Finn and he can feel Finn wince and immediately wants to forget all about his disappointment, just to tuck himself back against his side, but resists the impulse.
“I’m sorry.” Brendon doesn’t reply. “Look it’s…it’s like this. We were all outcasts in Glee club, no matter how normal some of us may have looked at first glance. It was a place where every one of us was unconditionally accepted, but that didn’t stop us from being the ones who ended up hurting each other the worst. There were some of the best times of my life, but there were also things I’d do anything to forget. Me and Rachel…”at this Finn’s voice breaks and Brendon forgets about being upset, twisting around and lying close to Finn’s side. After a beat, Finn slings his arm around him and pulls him closer.
“We were engaged. I loved her more than anything else in my life. When she moved to college in New York I broke off the engagement, because I didn’t want to hold her back, but we stayed together. She went to the big city and I stayed in Lima and eventually it just didn’t work anymore. I never stopped loving her. I failed getting into college, I failed at boot camp and all that happened made me strange. I hurt all the time and I wanted it to stop, so I shut it in and became indifferent to everything. My step brother and his boyfriend kept me sane, but until I discovered music I was basically numb. My band broke up eventually, but I found a purpose in life. And now I have you guys to look after. Despite that, I prefer to forget that part of my life. Especially Rachel, which is hard, because she’s featured in every part of it. I’m sorry.”
They sit in silence for a while. “Okay.” is what Brendon eventually says.
“Yeah?”
“Yep. One condition though. You sing with me more often. I want to sing with you.”
“It’s a deal.”
They sit like that for a while in silence, close together, Brendon’s head tucked under Finn’s chin and Finn drawing absentminded patterns on Brendon’s shoulder.
“Sooo….Aladdin?”
“Definitely.”
They sing along to every song.
Finn Hudson’s and Panic at the disco’s amazing and epic adventures on tour: Visitors pt.II
Since high school ended, Finn had been peripherally aware of Quinn Fabray, but he hadn’t actively spoken to her in years. She cut most of her ties to McKinley when she moved to Hollywood to pursue an acting career and to be honest Finn understood where she was coming from. There wasn’t anything left to say between them anyway.
He had only discovered that she was the newest teen sensation through Jon’s fangirling. When he watched an episode with him, he was surprised at how indifferent he felt when he looked at her. Sure, she was still extraordinarily beautiful, but she didn’t make him feel like he before, the mix of fondness, sadness and confusion he could only label as Quinn.
Jon was upset when he learned that Finn knew Quinn in high school and never told him. Since there wasn’t an upset Jon Walker that a discreet joint and beer couldn’t heal, Finn didn’t worry too much.
No, he didn’t have her phone number, they didn’t talk anymore and Finn didn’t know what music she liked; yes, they dated ("You what?" Jon said, wounded) but not particularly seriously. (it was complicated, okay?)
He didn’t give it much thought. Hollywood was as far away as it was possible to be from Kansas, where there were stages to prepare and beer to drink and sweat to well...sweat.
This made running into her in front of the Fall Out boy bus even more dramatic. Really, Jon looking like a tomato and stuttering should have tipped him off that Pete Wentz's newest celebrity girlfriend was around, but Finn was still having problems imagining prim and clean Quinn in the middle of Warped tour.
She looks completely out of place holding on to Pete’s hoodie wearing a sheer white summer dress and leaving most of the unwashed musicians a bit bemused, staring in admiration at this beautiful woman who dared to be so clean on the dirtiest tour of the year.
She takes Finn by complete surprise and clearly she didn’t expect to see him either, because they both freeze in the middle of the parking lot, staring open-mouthed. Then the moment is over and Finn finds his arms full of Quinn and it’s like he’s fifteen again, her hair smelling like flowers and sunshine and everything he'd ever wanted. Unbidden a memory strikes him, maybe a verse from Lean on me and he lets go.
His "Hi, Quinn." is still a bit wobbly.
Her smile is sad too. "Finn. It’s really good to see you."
"I didn’t think you'd even recognize me with all the celebrities you meet now." he grins at her "and dating rockstars already! I hope Wentz has been treating you right." He shots a glance at the bassist, who looks progressively more confused, looking back and forth between his girlfriend and Panic’s tech.
Quinn draws herself up, hands on her hips and suddenly she looks every inch the Queen Bee of McKinnley and one of the strongest women Finn had ever known.
"Of course."
"He'd better. I'd give him a talk or something, but..." he said the next part to Wentz "Really, she can take care of herself."
Quinn laughs and eventually Pete does too, though he still looks puzzled.
Finn feels Brendon’s eyes on him throughout the conversation and knows that he was going to have to explain some things later. Brendon isn’t stupid; he was probably guessing Quinn’s place in Finn’s high school stories already.
"What are you doing here anyway? Last time I heard of you, you were still in Lima, running around with a band or something, my mom wasn’t too specific." ‘and you didn’t really care enough to ask.’ finished Finn, mentally.
"I tech for these guys." He reaches backwards blindly for Brendon’s elbow and tugs him forward. The rest of the band follows, everyone a little flustered when Finn introduces them, even Ryan. Jon is worst off, blushing crimson, but he manages a question about the newest plot twist quite admirably.
Finn continues resting his on the crook of Brendon’s elbow, leaving it there, even after Quinn focuses on it with almost laser precision.
"I signed them when they were still babies!" Pete has apparently had enough of being ignored. He settles his arm back around Quinn’s waist, leaving a small smear of eyeliner on her dress, right next to a spot of oil that must have been Finn’s fault. Finn opens his mouth to apologize, but the couple is already making their excuses and Quinn is saying her goodbyes and "We'll keep in touch from now on, right Finn?"
Finn nods and smiles back, even though no one in Glee club had had Quinn’s phone number for years. They leave, Pete still chattering away and Finn realizes with a start that her dress is already turning darker, because of the dust and will probably be much dirtier by the end of the day, strained by mud and eyeliner.
She doesn’t look back.
Later on, after all the shows are done for the night, some of the techs build a bonfire in an open field near the buses. Finn sits down not far from the flames, on the ground, legs drawn up and head resting on his knees.
This is how Brendon finds him, appearing from the darkness somewhere in the direction of the buses. He hands Finn an opened beer and clinks their bottles together.
"Snuck them past Ryan. Thought you might like one."
Finn smiles in thanks as Brendon settles next to him. He’s not leaning on him, but Finn feels his warmth against his side. The beer is too warm and Finn has never gotten used to the taste, but he drinks it anyway, trying to gather his thoughts.
"Me and Quinn got together freshman year. The head cheerleader and the quarterback, it was the perfect high school romance." Brendon is silent by his side. “She was the president of the Celibacy club and very religious, so really there was very little fooling around, but I thought I loved her anyway. Then one day she told me she was pregnant and it was my kid."
Brendon sucks in a sharp breath next to him and Finn feels his wide-eyed stare even without looking at him.
"Yeah. It was strange, since we didn’t do much of anything, but I loved her and I believed her. After her religious parents kicked her out of the house, she came to live with my mom and I and I got a job trying to pay the medical bills. I was scared as hell, but I fell in love with that baby. I sang to the sonogram and I picked out a name, even though looking back, it was a pretty horrible name for a baby. I really wanted to be a dad and be there for my kid, like my dad never managed to be for me. Then Rachel had to be the one to tell me." Finn took a deep breath, aware that his voice was breaking. "She wasn’t mine. Turns out my best friend got my girlfriend pregnant and she lied to me, saying it was mine so I would take responsibility."
Finn can't speak anymore, but it’s okay, because Brendon wraps his arms around him and squeezes hard enough that it’s difficult to breathe. Finn is aware that he doesn’t really mind. Quinn’s appearance brought up things he would rather have left forgotten and now he’s drowning in emotion he’d thought he got over years ago. Brendon smells like sweat and stage make up, likely on one of his no-showering strikes and he doesn’t smell anything like flowers and somehow that’s more comforting than anything else.
"I'm sorry." whispers Brendon against his neck.
"Me too." Is all Finn says. Then a few beats later: "Tell me something."
"Like what?" asks Brendon, loosening his hold and pulling away slightly.
"Anything."
Brendon is quiet for a few minutes.
"When I was 18 and after Pete got us signed, my parents kicked me out of the house. They couldn’t understand it, when I told them that I didn’t believe in god and that I would go on to tour the country with my band, instead of with a mission. So they cut me off. Wouldn’t answer my phone calls, wouldn’t open the door and wouldn’t see me."
Brendon’s usually expressive voice had turned into a monotone and he stares impassively out into the dark. Finn puts an arm around him and pulls him back against his side tightly. Brendon’s voice doesn’t change, but his hand fists in Finn’s hoodie until his knuckles turn white.
“I got a shitty apartment in a shitty part of town and spent most of the time either at school, work or practicing with the band. Then we went on tour and I called home almost every week, but nobody answered. It wasn’t until one night after our album went big, that my little sister picked up the phone. “
“She told me that she saw our video on TV at a friend’s house and that the ladies had very pretty dresses. Then she asked me when I was coming home. I didn’t know what to tell her, so I just told her about the things I saw while on tour, cities and people and how Ryan spilled juice on himself and it looked like he’d peed himself, until she was laughing so hard, my mom came to check on her and took away the phone.”
“I talked to my mom for the first time in months and she told me she loved me and that she was trying to understand. Eventually my dad came around too and we talk sometimes and my brothers come to our concerts and almost scream louder than the fangirls. But…” Brendon falls silent, worrying his lip between his teeth.
“But, what?” Finn asks, gently. Which is harder than it looks, really, because all he wants to is to yell and punch things, because Brendon doesn’t deserve this and not for the first time he sends out a grateful prayer for his mom and Burt.
“They don’t get me, you know? They can listen to the band or come to see the show, but it’s all too much for them. When I’m around them I can’t talk about Disney or my music or the band, because they get this scared look on their faces, like I’m somehow the devil in disguise that came to ruin their perfect uniform lives, but I’m not, I’m just me, like I’ve always been. God forbid I ever bring a boyfriend home, they might get a heart attack.”
Finn winces a little at that, aware that they’re currently in a suspicious position to anyone watching, but then remembers that most fangirls ship Ryden anyway, so in the end he just pulls Brendon closer against his chest.
“Hey, I happen to think that you’re pretty awesome.” says Finn, startling a watery chuckle from Brendon.
The thing is, Finn doesn’t remember ever being this sappy before meeting Brendon, but looking at him now, practically cradled in his arms, he can’t help thinking how tiny he is compared to Finn’s big frame and that he looks like someone who needs hiding away from the world, because he’s too precious to be hurt. Then again, he also can’t help seeing the Brendon Urie who got up after passing out and finished the set flawlessly, who could make a room fall in lust with him just by singing and who was ready to stand behind his beliefs no matter what.
At the same time he was dorky Brendon with a love for Disney and video games and musical theatre, who could sing the whole Tenacious D record by heart and made Finn’s heart beat faster.
Sadly, Finn had never been very good at words. So repeating “You’re pretty damn awesome just the way you are, Brendon Urie.” is the best he can come up with.
Brendon’s answering grin is pretty damn awesome too.
Part three