Being Creative X.I
My feet landed on the floor with a thud. Sunlight streamed into the bedroom, making me wince in pain. Between the dull headache and the light blinding me, this wasn't a good way to start the day. Note to self: rearrange the room. Or get thick curtains. Or both. The alarm clock sprang to life; Nikki Blonsky belted the opening line of "Good Morning, Baltimore" at me.
Woke up today feeling the way I always do
It was a bit of a lie, of course. I wasn't always going to have this black eye or headache or incredibly long and draining nights. At least, there was no way my body was going to cooperate with them. Which reminded me...
Through half closed eyes, I looked at the other side of my bed, where Dan had been. Gone, the sheets replaced neatly, as if no one has been there. No trace we had slept in the same bed, no trace of the night we had had. Maybe that would be the last time I ever saw him, the past having embarrassed him beyond compare.
Every nights like a fantasy
If only, Nikki. If only this was a fantasy as opposed to the nightmare it was turning into...
I took a deep breath, hoping to cleanse the negative out of my system for the day ahead. There was no way Odelia would let me wallow in self pity for more than three and a half seconds today. Not a chance. Besides, it was a new job and I needed to make a positive impression. I stood up and went to the window, opening the blinds to allow even more sun into the room. There I stood in a skimpy pair of boxers and nothing else, watching the people running around on the sidewalk. Mostly students on their way to class, armed with their messenger bags and bicycles and iPod's and even a skateboard. They didn't see me; I didn't expect them to. I didn't recognize a single face, just nameless blobs going about their day.
Standing here all day wasn't going to be productive in the least, I thought. Turning off the radio, I made my way downstairs. Jackie was gone to school already and wouldn't be home until 7 or 8 that night. She wasn't around to talk to. No newspaper. No radio downstairs. No even a single good television station. I grabbed a cereal bowl, piled it high with Frosted Mini Bunches of Total...or whatever the hell it was called...drowned it in milk and sat down. My mind wandered to various subjects as each mouthful found itself crunched up and swallowed. I thought about Dan, of course, and Tony, naturally. Jackie and Ethan, the state of the world, the upcoming presidential election, dinner plans for tonight, what I was going to wear to work and what the first day would be like. I mentally walked myself to the office and rehearsed things I'd say if I ran into someone I knew. I even created a "first job" for myself when I got there...
There was a knock on the door. Remembering full well what happened the last time someone knocked on the door, I made sure to look out the window before I opened it. It was Dan. I couldn't get to the door knob fast enough to let him in. And when the door did open, he stood there, sunglasses resting on the top of his head, white shirt and tie, khakis...eyes slightly red, but what to be expected. I was in a pair of boxers. Nice.
"Hi," he said, slightly amused at the sight. It was good to see him smile, even if it was for just a moment.
“Come on in?” I posed. I mean, what else was I supposed to do?
“I’ve gotta get to work, but I wanted to drop these off for you.” Dan handed me a plastic Meijer bag. I peeked inside quickly; it was the clothes from last night, folded and clean.
“You didn’t have to leave, you know.” He had to know that even if it was uncomfortable right now. I never wanted anyone to feel as though they couldn’t be comfortable in the house. It wasn’t right.
“Yeah, but…just, yeah. I know.” There was something else he wanted to say, but couldn’t find the words. It was painfully obvious. We stood there looking at one another for another minute before Dan spoke again.
“I have to get going. I’ll call you tonight to see how the first day went?” He was fishing for…
“You can come over if you want.” Goddamn mouth! Getting me in trouble again! Not that I didn’t want Dan to come over; it was undoubtedly too much.
Dan thought for a minute.
“I’ll grab some pizza for dinner…unless you don’t do pizza. You probably don’t based on your body and…”
I took a step closer to him and gently put a finger on his lips.
“Pizza works. I’ll be home a little after 5, okay?” I reassured him. He seemed to let out a deep sigh when I touched him; his entire body relaxed, shoulders fell, eyes closed. Framed in the sunlight, Dan looked like an angel coming down from the sky.
I removed my finger and hugged him. I knew it wouldn’t last; it couldn’t today. But I wanted him to feel he was cared for. He trusted me, I knew that much. Maybe he’d begin to see me as something else, though.
Dan let out a small laugh. We let go and he looked me in the eye.
“What’s so funny?” I had to know.
All he had to do was look down. I was sporting an erection which came right through the opening in the boxers. The button to keep them closed had long since fallen off and been lost; I didn’t much care, honestly. Especially when I was walking around alone or even with Tony. The junk doesn’t change much from one guy to another, now does it? A part of me thought I might get some action, too, if he could see…
“You should take care of that.” God, if that wasn’t an invitation for a dirty come back, I don’t know what it was. As if he read my mind, Dan began to blush. I think he realized how it sounded after it came out of his mouth. But I let it go.
“I’ll see you tonight, then?”
“Yep.” And in a strange twist, he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. His lips were soft, slightly wet. They lingered for a moment, maybe a moment too long. I could have molested…no, that was the wrong word…had sex?...still wrong…made love…I never liked that one…to him right there. My mind entertained the notion for a brief second.
And then he was gone, leaving me with a boner on prominent display to everyone passing by. I closed the door with my foot, running back upstairs to jump in the shower. My clock read 7:43. A bit later than I wanted to be, especially on my first day. But the holdup was worth it.
I stepped out of the boxers in my bedroom, looking down at my cock. Did I have enough “Aaron time”? Probably not. Should I try? Probably not. Did I want to get off? God, yes. Then I thought of Bruce Vilanch again. That solved the problem.
Woke up today feeling the way I always do
It was a bit of a lie, of course. I wasn't always going to have this black eye or headache or incredibly long and draining nights. At least, there was no way my body was going to cooperate with them. Which reminded me...
Through half closed eyes, I looked at the other side of my bed, where Dan had been. Gone, the sheets replaced neatly, as if no one has been there. No trace we had slept in the same bed, no trace of the night we had had. Maybe that would be the last time I ever saw him, the past having embarrassed him beyond compare.
Every nights like a fantasy
If only, Nikki. If only this was a fantasy as opposed to the nightmare it was turning into...
I took a deep breath, hoping to cleanse the negative out of my system for the day ahead. There was no way Odelia would let me wallow in self pity for more than three and a half seconds today. Not a chance. Besides, it was a new job and I needed to make a positive impression. I stood up and went to the window, opening the blinds to allow even more sun into the room. There I stood in a skimpy pair of boxers and nothing else, watching the people running around on the sidewalk. Mostly students on their way to class, armed with their messenger bags and bicycles and iPod's and even a skateboard. They didn't see me; I didn't expect them to. I didn't recognize a single face, just nameless blobs going about their day.
Standing here all day wasn't going to be productive in the least, I thought. Turning off the radio, I made my way downstairs. Jackie was gone to school already and wouldn't be home until 7 or 8 that night. She wasn't around to talk to. No newspaper. No radio downstairs. No even a single good television station. I grabbed a cereal bowl, piled it high with Frosted Mini Bunches of Total...or whatever the hell it was called...drowned it in milk and sat down. My mind wandered to various subjects as each mouthful found itself crunched up and swallowed. I thought about Dan, of course, and Tony, naturally. Jackie and Ethan, the state of the world, the upcoming presidential election, dinner plans for tonight, what I was going to wear to work and what the first day would be like. I mentally walked myself to the office and rehearsed things I'd say if I ran into someone I knew. I even created a "first job" for myself when I got there...
There was a knock on the door. Remembering full well what happened the last time someone knocked on the door, I made sure to look out the window before I opened it. It was Dan. I couldn't get to the door knob fast enough to let him in. And when the door did open, he stood there, sunglasses resting on the top of his head, white shirt and tie, khakis...eyes slightly red, but what to be expected. I was in a pair of boxers. Nice.
"Hi," he said, slightly amused at the sight. It was good to see him smile, even if it was for just a moment.
“Come on in?” I posed. I mean, what else was I supposed to do?
“I’ve gotta get to work, but I wanted to drop these off for you.” Dan handed me a plastic Meijer bag. I peeked inside quickly; it was the clothes from last night, folded and clean.
“You didn’t have to leave, you know.” He had to know that even if it was uncomfortable right now. I never wanted anyone to feel as though they couldn’t be comfortable in the house. It wasn’t right.
“Yeah, but…just, yeah. I know.” There was something else he wanted to say, but couldn’t find the words. It was painfully obvious. We stood there looking at one another for another minute before Dan spoke again.
“I have to get going. I’ll call you tonight to see how the first day went?” He was fishing for…
“You can come over if you want.” Goddamn mouth! Getting me in trouble again! Not that I didn’t want Dan to come over; it was undoubtedly too much.
Dan thought for a minute.
“I’ll grab some pizza for dinner…unless you don’t do pizza. You probably don’t based on your body and…”
I took a step closer to him and gently put a finger on his lips.
“Pizza works. I’ll be home a little after 5, okay?” I reassured him. He seemed to let out a deep sigh when I touched him; his entire body relaxed, shoulders fell, eyes closed. Framed in the sunlight, Dan looked like an angel coming down from the sky.
I removed my finger and hugged him. I knew it wouldn’t last; it couldn’t today. But I wanted him to feel he was cared for. He trusted me, I knew that much. Maybe he’d begin to see me as something else, though.
Dan let out a small laugh. We let go and he looked me in the eye.
“What’s so funny?” I had to know.
All he had to do was look down. I was sporting an erection which came right through the opening in the boxers. The button to keep them closed had long since fallen off and been lost; I didn’t much care, honestly. Especially when I was walking around alone or even with Tony. The junk doesn’t change much from one guy to another, now does it? A part of me thought I might get some action, too, if he could see…
“You should take care of that.” God, if that wasn’t an invitation for a dirty come back, I don’t know what it was. As if he read my mind, Dan began to blush. I think he realized how it sounded after it came out of his mouth. But I let it go.
“I’ll see you tonight, then?”
“Yep.” And in a strange twist, he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. His lips were soft, slightly wet. They lingered for a moment, maybe a moment too long. I could have molested…no, that was the wrong word…had sex?...still wrong…made love…I never liked that one…to him right there. My mind entertained the notion for a brief second.
And then he was gone, leaving me with a boner on prominent display to everyone passing by. I closed the door with my foot, running back upstairs to jump in the shower. My clock read 7:43. A bit later than I wanted to be, especially on my first day. But the holdup was worth it.
I stepped out of the boxers in my bedroom, looking down at my cock. Did I have enough “Aaron time”? Probably not. Should I try? Probably not. Did I want to get off? God, yes. Then I thought of Bruce Vilanch again. That solved the problem.